I’ve Got Candy! No, not in a happy, gleeful way.

I’ve got candy because LESS THAN 30 kids came to my door. And I am the house that gives away FULL SIZED candy! Hershey bars (with and without almonds) KitKats,Reese’s Cups and M&Ms. Tootsie Rolls, DumDums and Peppermint Patties. They are now sitting on a table in my house.

No monsters came, but a Rock Star did (No, Lorelai, not yours). I got 4 zombies and a washing machine, 3 fairies, a nun, and a butterfly. I saw 3 children under 5. The remainder were kids (not from my neighborhood) who were 12-15 years old.

I know for a fact that there are roughly 10 kids 6 and under. There are also a bunch between 6 and 12 years old! Where were they? I don’t know of any Halloween parties in the area. Nor have I heard of Haunted Houses being open tonight. (They were all open on Saturday and Sunday nights.)

My disappointment is palpable.I think I’ll curl up on the sofa and eat myself into a sugar coma. I’ll let the candles burn down into puddles of wax. I’ll pop “The Devil’s Rejects” into the DVD player and call it a night.

*SOB*

Today is Halloween. This  is the day I wait all year for. The sounds of rustling leaves as children cross the yards.Their laughter carrying across the street, as their parents shout “Stick together! Wait for your sister!”

I remember all of this from my childhood too, along with the crisp, chill in the air and the smell of a random chimney belching the scent of fireplace into the night sky.

I remember most the candy of my youth- pop rocks, MaryJanes, SugarDaddys and wax lips. A neighbor used to make homemade candy apples, another made cookies and brownies-and we weren’t afraid to take them home to eat them!

My costumes were usually homemade-zombies, hoboes and 50’s girls. My earliest remembered costume was Popeye (with the plastic face mask ) I wore that when I was 5. I remember the year that my parents were broke and I got to be a ghost. How embarassed I was to be seen by friends and how my mom held my hand and assured me they didn’t know who I was under the sheet.

Good memories all. I hope I gave my own kids a few good memories along the way.

What costumes do you remember? And what was your favorite treat to find in your bag?

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I know I promised the rest of the pictures, but I’m a dork and forgot that I wanted to do this Halloween post. Sue me…..

I am still pissed off because the haunting continues. My internet was down for most of yesterday afternoon and evening and I am writing this post at 12:30 am. Lostmahead came over and we found the smell. It was a bottle of B Complex vitamins that I had beside my bed. The expiration has a date of 5/09,  but after I opened it….OH MY FUCK! It was so gross! Needless to say, I won’t be taking them !! 

The good news is that I have the pictures of our trip. Thanks to Babygirl!…I know you weren’t in the mood to do this but considering how tough it was to do while the internet went in and out,  you did an incredible job. This is only the first half. I will have more tomorrow. I would have captioned every one but I AM EXHAUSTED! Just sit back and enjoy!

I am seriously thinking that my computer and my bedroom are possessed. STOP THAT FUCKING LAUGHING NOW! Let me explain.

On Saturday, I went on a trip and took lots of pictures. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get them out of my camera. But being the trooper that I am, I wrote a nice post anyway. Babygirl came home from work on Sunday and managed to get them out by using a different program. Okay, so now I’ll write a photo post. NO FUCKIN’ WAY!! All my pictures are now the size of my entire monitor screen and I have yet to master the technology needed to edit the sizes.FUCKITY-FUCK!! I’ll ask Babygirl (yet again) and she’ll be a sport, but this shit is bugging the hell out of me(and her).

Later, I went to BlogTalkRadio to listen to Pointless-Drivel Live and I still have trouble logging in. So I set up registration through Babygirl’s email and Firefox. Cool! Now I can log in as myself and not ‘Guest’. NOPE!!  Not fucking happening.Why??? I want to just cancel the whole fucking thing and maybe start again from scratch but I can’t even figure out how to cancel the subscription! Well, I listened to the show anyway and Shelli said she’ll help me figure it out so I calmed down a little.

Once the show was over, I went to facebook to chat with Shelli some more and maybe finish a game of scrabulous that we had started earlier. Now THAT won’t fucking let me in!!!  FUCK!!!!

There was also something that I wanted to share with Shelli and I tried to cut and paste and the computer just wouldn’t let me. What the fuck is going on?????

Maybe I’ll give up and go to bed. Except……..

There’s a smell in my room. I can’t find it. It’s been there for a few nights and I just figured it was because Hubs smokes in the bedroom. Well, he’s trying to quit and hasn’t smoked in there, but it’s getting stronger and now HE notices it. (He never smells anything!!) I’ve opened drawers and searched the closet and the nightstands and there is nothing even remotely like this smell. (I smell bean soup and he smells toast- so it’s not entirely unpleasant) but its still there.

What the fuck? Is the cosmos just fucking around with me? Why do things not work for me but work for everyone else? I must have fucked someone over really good along the line somewhere for Karma to be giving me such a bad time!

Or maybe it’s payback for being a cat-hater! FUCK!

Maybe it’s the ghost of Jim Morrison! OOOOOO!!! SPOOKY!!!

9:00am  Rain, rain, and more rain. 89 %  humidity. Frizzing hair, and did I mention rain?

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Where to start? Hmmm….Well there was rain. Lostmahead and I got very lucky. The rain let up as soon as we parked the car. I called Teri to tell her we had arrived and she was still in Hertown.!! This meant that Lost and I had a half hour or so to kill. We did a few touristy things like saw the Liberty Bell. I hadn’t seen it in its new building and I must say it was impressive. We strolled around Independence Mall and then it happened…..

SHE was there! Teri is the cutest woman! I wanted to put her in my pocket and smuggle her home!We chitchatted a bit and then we loaded into a little bitty trolley/bus for our ride. We saw many beautiful murals in many different places in West Philadelphia(where the Fresh Prince-Will Smith- is from!)

The rain was relentless and we couldn’t get out of the bus to take pictures. Many of my pictures have rain spots from the window. The windows steamed up and Lostmahead HAD to wipe it off–like an unruly child in the car (Don’t smear the windows!!! Don’t make me pull over!!)

We got very lucky once again as the rain stopped when our tour ended. Bright sunshine followed-YAY! Now it was lunchtime and we walked a few blocks to a place called Maggiano’s. Along the way we saw many people yelling something about no war (What’s that all about?)Anyway, back to us….

Great food, lots of laughs and the two party poopers let me drink alone. They gasped when I asked for the 100 proof Southern Comfort in my drink (STFU!) I forgot to take photos of the food but I did remember about the dessert-the most important part! I had creme brulee and the girls had spumoni -YUMMY!

After lunch we walked back toward the car and saw many, many more signs and peaceniks. (Hmmm…whatup wit dat?)We passed a few spas and I offered to treat the ladies to a bikini wax but they said no (apparently, they’re good in that department) They even skipped the anal bleaching, but at least they know the offer was out there. (ANYTIME GALS!)

Alas, there was Teri’s stop. It was time to say goodbye. Sadness, tears,  and much clinging was involved. Okay, not really, but INSIDE of me was crying. (or getting wet from something else.)We  bid each other farewell…….I will miss you!(Until our next trip)

Do you think my adventure is over? This is Metalmom you are talking to! Remember all those people? The ones with the peace signs?There was an anti-war rally downtown and we were in the middle of  it! LOTS of folks waving signs and saying “no wars” or “blow whores” or something- I couldn’t make it out.I couldn’t tell if they wanted Dick Cheney to show up or not.  Hmmm….I hope he made it…. it would be a shame if he missed out on all those people calling out his name. They wanted to give him peaches (or maybe impeach him….Again, I couldn’t tell what they were yelling!)

Finally we got home and I am tired and my stomach is full. A serious nap may be in order. Oooh, nap…….

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NOTE: This post was supposed to feature my many photographs, but my fucking camera is holding them all hostage! I am hoping that Babygirl will take pity on her mom and help me out when she gets home from work. But NEVER FEAR!! I will not let you down! Please go visit Teri….she ran home and posted very quickly yesterday! She has some great pictures posted over there!  KISSES!!

Today is the day! I’ll be spending my Saturday with Lostmahead and Teri, so you won’t get feedback on your remarks until later. But leave some comments and tell me what you’re doing!

If you are among those fortunate enough to be attending Avitable’s Halloween party of the millenium, have a wonderful time. Don’t drink, eat, (other) too much. Take plenty of pictures(evidence) and gather lots of stories for your blogs! Next week should be filled with many interesting posts!

And no matter who or where you are…travel safely! We like having you around!

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4 MORE DAYS!!!!

I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

I’m going to meet another blogger tomorrow-MY FIRST!! My friend Lostmahead and I will be meeting Teri , the Family Tree Junkie. Isn’t that great?

Teri likes to do “Friday Fieldtrips” and one day she asked a question I’m sure she will live to regret. “If you live in (my area) and would like to take a tour with me, let me know” Well, I answered the call of the wild and we’re off.

Tomorrow we are taking a tour of the many murals in Philadelphia. (Just a fraction of what’s there). I’ll try not to fart on the tour bus, or to talk with my mouth full while we have lunch. Lostmahead will be watching that I don’t have drinks that would make me  dance on tables.

Pictures? Oh, yeah! I will try to capture all those priceless moments……the first time she catches me picking my nose or pulling my underwear out of my crack are going to be sure crowd-pleasers!

I’ll post about our adventures in the big city sometime next week…….unless she files a restraining order and confiscates my camera!

Would ya lookit that?  Oh Lucy, Lucy, Lucy!  It’s hard to believe it was once like that in almost every household. Want in on a secret? I bought into that shit. *GASP* Yes, it’s true.

When I got married as a pretty lil eighteen year old girl, I was so happy that we had our own apartment. I liked to wake up in the morning,throw up, make a pot of coffee,throw up, wake up Hubs, and sometimes please him before throwing up again.(I was pregnant). Anyway, I’d make him a lunch and send him out the door and got down to what I thought was my fairy tale life.

I made the bed, did the dishes and vacuumed the floors. I can remember the flutter in my chest as it got  closer to the time he would come home. I was happy that my home was clean, and a good meal was cooking in the oven.

Now, he’s lucky if I roll over to kiss him at 6am when he leaves. I look at the dishes and say “fuck that!” I put them in the dishwasher for later. The baby tears the house apart before he gets home, and runs me ragged. My hair is a mess and I hope to God I remembered deodorant this day. Come 8pm, he’s ready for bed and I’m ready for a much-needed shower.

“Come over here and give me a kiss.”  OMG! “My breath stinks! Let me brush first!” “I don’t care. I want a kiss now. We’ll take care of other business after the shower!” He gets a quick peck and I run into the shower.

Jesus! My heart is fluttering like an 18 year old girl’s just thinking of kissing my husband. yup….he’s still got it!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Were you here yesterday? No? Okay, then you are excused. I’m at Nobody’s place taking care of business. Come on over.(there might be a party-I’m not promising, but you never know) At the least we can root through his drawers and try on Mrs. Nobody’s clothes!

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One last thing…..16 years ago today, God answered my prayers. After two boys, I thought I was done having babies, but Hubs and I decided to tempt fate one more time and try for a girl. Nine months after trying vigorously, out popped Babygirl. We smiled proudly and haven’t stopped since then!

Happy Birthday,Babygirl! I love you.

Not much is happening over here. Fall has arrived and with it the obligatory raking. That’s what I did. Raked. Alot.

I took Joslyn outside and she ran around while I did my thing. I figured fresh air and sunshine would get her ready for a nap. But first…lunch.

Babyfood just doesn’t cut with her anymore. So she had big girl lunch. She just nibbled. She had only nibbled at breakfast too. I didn’t worry about it. Sometimes a girl just doesn’t feel like a full meal, right? A cookie in her hand and back outside.

I was bagging leaves and twigs and Joslyn sat down on the ground beside me. Eating her cookie. Hubs joined us and we worked side by side  for a few minutes before he asked,”What is she eating?” I looked. MMM…..acorns. And since she was sitting on the grass, there were a couple of spiders hanging around on her too. Can you imagine what it looked like to see a grown woman swatting spiders off a baby while screaming at her husband to “DO SOMETHING DAMMIT!!”

Hubs the Mighty Hero just stood there laughing. I dug the acorns out of her cheeks. (taking lessons from the squirrels, I guess) I took out a wipey and cleaned her hands and said, “No nuts in your mouth!”  She sat back down and started to play with the leaves. I bagged a little bit more of the leaves and checked her again. MMM….twigs. What the fuck? Seriously, I tried to give this kid lunch a mere half hour ago and she wouldn’t touch it!!

She screamed when I took the sticklets out of her hands and mouth. I turned around to find another wipey and there she sat whimpering and licking her fingers like I had taken away her candy. Grubby hands and face, I picked her up and carried her into the house.

So much for yard work and fresh air.

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Tomorrow I will not be home. I am watching Nobody’s house while he is in Las Vegas  doing Godknowswhat with Godknowswho. I got to spend some time with him before he left and I thought I’d let you in on our escapades. So come over to his place tomorrow…..we’ll raid the fridge!