I am a writer! To me that seems so weird. I was told repeatedly during school that I couldn’t write a shopping list much less an essay!! PPFFLLTTTT!!! (That goes out to Mrs. Panepinto and Mrs. Prieto!)

I have been awarded this:       by Shelli. She is too kind!!

Those people I’ve given this award to are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honor, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc., etc. Let’s send a roar through the blogosphere! The image at the top right can be copied and pasted onto other blogs. Also, a small size of the award for sidebars can be found over at the writing circle site.

My three things are:

A.   Write what you feel. If you are depressed, go with it. Sometimes it helps to let things out. Do you think you are the only one who feels this way? Think again. Your writing may help someone understand  themselves or others better.

B.   Don’t censor your opinions for the benefit of your readers.(Unless you are a g-rated blog!)You are entitled to your own opinions and if it is your blog, you can say what you want!

C.   Don’t forget that commenting is an important part of blogging too–even if it’s just “I feel the same” or “Nice post” it helps us to know that our point got across. And if you disagree? Fine. Just make your comment and move on without name calling or bigotry.

My writing tips pertain mostly to blogging, but isn’t that what we’re all here doing?And blogging IS writing!

And now ……*drumroll please*

 To Miss Britt for her post “A Glass House With a View”     To MattMan for his most recent posts involving a webcam, singing and Lindsay Roberts.     To Janna for any post containing a list. That girl can tun a phrase (and a stomach!)   To Stacy for her post “Random Mindfulness”, which took me back to a very happy time in my life.   And to LovingAnnie for her wonderfully well written erotica. Although Annie has given up that particular blog, she continues to wite on an equally great blog “The Adventures of Loving Annie”

Check out all of them. If you don’t want to roam, then check out the posts mentioned. Don’t argue with me. Just do it. Seriously. I have on nice shoes and I’d hate to get them all dirty from putting my foot up your ass!

SHOO!

Is it just me or does my site load s-l-o-w-l-y  during the day? Sometimes everything I try to do is slow.That’s when I know it’s my computer. We have it loaded with photos and music and other ’speed suckers’. When it gets like this, it’s time to ‘clean shop’. It’s no big deal. Yesterday, I didn’t have very many comments. This is no big deal either. I just wondered if you happened to stop by, got frustrated trying to open the site and left.

The reason I say the lack of comments was no big deal is because I am currently suffering  from a lack of time. That and a 16 month old curious child. She likes to see the computer when we play games on Noggin or when we look at the LOLcats (UGH!) It keeps her amused so I go along with it.

Last week, her Dad gave us a computer desk that will not fit into their new place. Unfortunately for me, this new desk lowers my keyboard to a height that Joslyn can easily reach. Despite my best efforts, her tiny fingers find the  little ‘delete’ button in the lower right corner of the keyboard. As soon as I manage to respond to your comments, it is gone….POOF!…just like that! I may have a second to read your post and make a comment there and again…POOF! She immediately smacks her own hand and says,”Bad Baby!” She is too cute. How can you be annoyed with that?

She is keeping me very busy. She is at the age when DVD cases are intriguing when pulled off shelves. She is fascinated by the fact that the TV has buttons that makes the picture disappear. Did you know that if you keep pulling tissues or baby wipes out of the box, another will pop out? And did you also know that a 16 month old child can open a bathroom door, flip the toilet lid and soak herself to the elbow in the time it takes me to pick up 7 DVD’s?

So please forgive me, my friends, if you think I am ignoring you. Quite the contrary! I am there. I am reading here and there. It might take me a day or two to comment on something you posted but I am visiting, keeping up with your lives and being just a tad envious of those of you who go to exotic places like jobs and shopping and to the gym, while I am here in my home…..listening to baby giggles, crawling on the floor, reading “Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom” and eating sketti-o’s.

Yesterday’s post aside, I do enjoy the holidays.

I don’t enjoy the shopping. I hate the rudeness of people during what is supposed to be a fun endeavor. I truly enjoy getting gifts for people. It must be the right gift for the right person. Your style, personal tastes, and sense of humor are always taken into consideration. It may take me 45 minutes to choose THE card for you. But you will either laugh until you pee your pants or you will cry at the sentimentality.

I love making a mess of my house. On random days, Hubs will come home from work to  find me knee deep in boxes, bows, and wrapping paper. The house will smell like cookies and empty decoration boxes will be strewn from one end of the room to the other. He will say(without fail)  “Jeebus! What the fuck happened in here today?” and I will reply, “Nothing! I’m just getting ready!”

On other days, he will come home to find string after string of lights all lit and laying on the floor. I will prove that they are all in working order, and then tell him that there is no point in rolling them up. As long as they are out, he might as well start trimming the house. He’ll bitch about it. I’ll say “FINE! I’ll do it myself!” and he will rush over to take over the “manly job”.

These are also the days that I lose track of time. Ordinarily, I will try to have dinner started. Instead, the men will come in the door to find nothing. I will look at the clock and realize that it is 5:30 and I have been at it since 9am! As I stand up, my feet will be full of pins and needles, and my back will scream in protest. Someone will take pity and say,”How about if we just order pizza?”  I’ll sigh with relief and gratitude. Then I will take an aspirin,have a cup of tea and finally-at long last-sit back to relax. Hubs will ask me why I do this to myself every year.

I’ll reply,”I’m getting ready.”

Welcome back to hell….I mean a new work week.

Are we all relaxed and rejuvenated after the long weekend? Have we had enough of the family dramas and traveling and whatnot?  Good. Strap in because here it comes.

I went shopping on Friday.Not the ‘Icampedouttobefirstinlineforabargain’ type of shopping. Mine was ‘IstayedinbeduntilIfeltlikegettingupandthenleftthehouse’ shopping. I was relaxed and happy and ready to feel Christmas-y. Guess what I found in the stores?

STUPIDITY.  Apparently it is on everyone’s Christmas list this year because it was stocked in abundance in all the major retail outlets. And OMG were we buying it up by the cart load. First the stores raised their prices by 10% in the past two weeks and then gave us a whopping 20% discount. Oooh…good deal!

Then there are the new employees who were brought in to ‘help’ over the holidays.They don’t know where to find things or how to check the storeroom to see if it is still in stock! There were also the ‘helpful’ signs and price tags that were placed nowhere near the items they belonged to!

There were shoppers yapping on their phones, blocking aisles,to see if 5 year old Susie wants the doll with the green dress or the blue dress. FUCKING PICK ONE LADY! and get out of my way!!!!  There were the grandparents who stood in front of the educational toys debating whether to buy toy1 or toy2 and in the end just bought a truck because they had lost patience. GET A GIFT CERTIFICATE GRANNY!!

Giggling teenage girls pulled out clothes, unfolded them, and decided they were ugly, and just threw them back into piles which made my shopping experience that much more miserable. FUCK YOU,GIRLS…And your mothers for NOT TEACHING YOU BETTER!

If you must go shopping, LEAVE THE KIDS UNDER 12 HOME!!!!!  I am aggravated by the crowds and the overabundance of choices. I am hungry,my feet hurt and I have a headache. I don’t want to listen to your kids whining for a toy, crying, or asking “When are we leaving?” Watch what they are doing! Chances are THEY’RE IN MY WAY!!!!

All of that, and I was only shopping for 3 hours! Did I say I was ready to feel Christmas-y? I was fuckin’ wrong! Screw the holiday shit! Everyone is getting an envelope with $20 in it. Bah, Humbug!!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I sure did.

Through circumstances beyond my control I ended up with my family around the table. Just the five of us and it couldn’t have been more fun. Son1 was there without his girlfriend or her daughter. (I DO like them both and enjoy their company,but they were having dinner with her sister, Mom, and Stepdad). Son2 was there-VERY hungover, but also very happy and pleasant (His friends were home from college so they all met and drank on Wednesday night.) Babygirl was there helping and watching TV.

We try to do dinner together as much as possible, but once school starts in September, it gets harder and harder. Babygirl has band rehearsals two or three times a week. Son2 has a second job that starts at 5 pm and Son1 gets busy doing ‘Dad’ things like Brownies and helping “J” with her homework or other projects. Needless to say, dinner time gets hectic. Thursday, we all managed to sit around the table and tease each other about hangovers, boy/girlfriends,  and my lack of culinary expertise. We had such a wonderful time and it made me EXTRA thankful. I realized that this year will probably be one of the last times it will be only the five of us. My kids are getting older and they will begin to bring outsiders to our table.

My husband is one of  7 kids. Each is married and has and average of 3 kids. Their kids are beginning to marry and have kids. So our immediate family has bloomed into 50+ people for dinner. It seems that this year we were all extremely relieved  to cook in our on homes. Talk is on the table for spending Black Friday or Saturday together so that we can all visit without the pressure of “holiday”. Just leftovers and turkey sandwiches. It sounds good to me.

I didn’t get up at 4am to go shopping. I am not an idiot. (For those of you who did, super for you-it’s just not my cup of tea) I slept in until 10, got dressed and went shopping. I brought home 8 HUGE bags full of at least one thing for everyone. I have officially started MY Christmas season.

 It is now 5:30. I have eaten, fed my family and written my post. I will kick off my shoes, pull on some sweats, visit a few blogs and then have a nice shot of Southern Comfort and maybe read a bit. Nothing but relaxation on the horizon tonight. Tomorrow I will begin wrapping.

TTFN!!

This is my happy place……

I am thankful for all of my family. I am happy that even though I bitch about having my sons living at home with me, at least they are living AT HOME with me rather than in a tent or barracks somewhere that I cannot reach them to tell them how I much I love them. And I am thankful to all the other mothers and sons and daughters who HAVE made this sacrifice.

As much as I bitch about parents and siblings, I do love every one of them with every beat of my heart. And I feel grief for every one of you who have experienced a loss-particularly those who will spending the first Thanksgiving without someone dear to you.

I am thankful to still have a husband after 27 years. He has stood by me when I was sick, and healthy, and at this point in his life…when he has a teenage daughter AND a wife going through ‘the change’-he has not run screaming for the hills!! I am thankful he is not a drinker, an addict, a gambler, a ‘playah’ nor an abuser. I was lucky to get the cream of the crop.

I am thankful that I have a daughter that any parent would be proud of having. She doesn’t drink, smoke, swear or hang out with skanky people. She gets good grades, holds down a job and has a boyfriend who is also a wonderful person and who respects her and treats her like a princess.

And I am thankful for all of you…My friends….on both sides of my monitor. You have visited on Monday Moanings when you KNOW I will be a bitch. You have offered comfort when I have felt low and you have shared in my happinesses. We have chatted on and off line and some have shared a cup of tea (or coffee) and I can’t wait to meet more of you.

I hope that all of you will remember to appreciate all that you have in front of you and give thanks for the times that you did have with those who are absent this year.

I love you all…….Now go get stuffed!

I have only a few odds and ends to toss out there.

• I have gotten a new roaster. It is the same as the one I lost. I am sure that the old one will turn up any day now. It cost me 19.99 . After my 20% off coupon, it was 15.99. YAY! But wait!! I am also getting a 10.00 rebate!! So all in all it will only cost me 5.99 for all the aggravation I went thorough.
• Baby is still doing much better. She is back to being chock full of bad attitude. I don’t know where she gets it!
• I am going to see George Carlin on December 1. These tickets are a Christmas gift from Son1. He and his brother will be joining us since their birthdays are both in December. We have never done a night out like this since both of the boys became adults. I am thrilled.

• Since my Father-in-law is in the hospital, Thanksgiving will be very low-keyed for the entire clan. We will each be doing a small dinner in our own homes and will instead be gathering for Christmas. Now, I have 10 people coming for dinner in my house when I was expecting to make nothing more than a turkey.

• Friday, I will begin Holiday preparations. I have a few gifts. I will wrap them, write a few cards, and dig out the decorations. Fa-La-Fuckin’-La.

Today’s post is about something I think we all have an opinion on…..The Butt. No, not that ‘butt’……the ‘butt’ as in butting in line, in traffic, into conversation.

The reason this came up is because I went to the store with Hubs and he got into the checkout line. I was coming up behind him and I grabbed a pack of gum and put it on the counter….AFTER the girl started to ring up the purchases (but BEFORE she had finished.) Hubs got angry, and claimed that I was butting in line….in front of other people….like a rude ass. I hate rude asses and would never try to cut into a line. Did I cut into the line? Please tell me so I can correct this heinous behavior!!

On the way home, someone drove along the shoulder of the road, passed everyone and then tried to get back over into the lane again. I gave him the finger (real mature, I know) Hubs again got annoyed. I pointed out that THIS time the guy in the car was WRONG…I only pointed out his mistake (with my middle finger!) I mean seriously! What the fuck makes people think their time is more important than mine? My soda was getting warm! Asshole!

Well, we got home and I was telling Son1’s girlfriend about it and Hubs jumped in to add his two cents worth of wrong and there we have ‘butt’ number three. He ‘butted’ into our conversation. GOD FORBID I ever do that to him! What the Fuck?!?

I will cut him some slack because he is still very edgy from lack of nicotine. But I swear to God, the next time I will just cut him.

 This meme is entitled Toast & Tea & Me and I stole it from Kapgar.

1. What is your occupation? I am a child care provider by day, and a super hero by night. I cannot divulge my secret identity.(But it rhymes with “kettle bomb”)

2. What color are your socks right now? I am rocking the Catholic school navy blue knee high socks. (But not the uniform-yet)

3. What are you listening to right now? Babygirl’s excuse for buying shoes that look like slippers.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Avocado slices on white bread.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? A what? I don’t drive ANYTHING-except when I drive my husband crazy.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? I told David I was going to get my hair done and he squealed.

7. Do you like the person who sent this meme to you? No one sent it to me but I do like the person I took it from. (Thanks Kev)

8. How old are you today? 45 years, nine months and 6 days old.

9. Favorite drink?Southern Comfort and Coke after 4pm. Earl Grey tea before that and cawfee light and sweet before 12.

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball and World Cup Soccer

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, when I was running from the police that one time, I went blonde.

12. Pets? My iguana, Baby, and the freak I keep leashed in my basement for my private amusement.

13. Favorite food? Steak– singed and slightly mooing.

14. What was the last movie you watched? Today I watched EdTV, the Truth About Cats and Dogs, The Final Cut and Valiant.(I was stuck on the couch!)

15. What’s your favorite day of the week? Sunday. We go out for breakfast, laze around reading the paper, watch a movie. Then I listen to my friends on blogtalkradio.

16. How do you vent anger? I turn on music,very loud, and clean the house.

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? My jigsaw puzzles and my brother’s Lincoln Logs, Legos and Tinker Toys.

18. What is your favorite season? Baseball Season. Oh and a tie between fall and summer.

19. Hugs or kisses? Yes, please.

20. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries!!

21. Do you want your friends to try this meme? Only if they would like to compare themselves with my greatness.

22. Who is most likely to respond? Hmmm…maybe Tug…maybe not.

23. Who is least likely to respond? Duh! Kapgar! Because I took it from him first!

24. Living arrangements? I haven’t made them yet, although I have considered my funeral arrangements.

25. When was the last time you cried? Thursday, when I realized that my iguana was seriously sick and could have died within hours of my finding her that way.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, an umbrella, a skateboard and a large canister of legos (a combination of answer #1 and #17)

27. Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to? I will send this to no one because many people don’t like to do memes and others like them and they may have done this already. Who have I known the longest? In “real life”, Lostmahead. I’ve known her 30 years. In blog life, Mr Fabulous. I started reading him a little over a year ago.

28. What did you do last night? I visited my father-in-law in the hospital and then came home and hand fed my iguana water, and slept with her in my arms on my couch all night.

29. Favorite smell? The dusting powder the barber uses on Hub’s neck after he gets a haircut, and the smell of an infant’s head.

30. What inspires you? My friends and family.

31. What are you afraid of? Spiders. And of falling down the stairs when I’m alone in the house after I see a spider. And of spiders crawling on me as I lay on the floor paralyzed from the fall I took after I saw that no good spider.

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? A big, juicy bacon cheeseburger with pickles.
33. Favorite dog breed? Bull Mastiff. I’d love to own one if I had a farm for it to run on.

34. How many states have you lived in? Just one when I am home. But….. I have lived for more than a day in New Mexico, Georgia, Florida, and Maryland. (I consider vacationing to be “living somewhere else for more than one day.”

35. Favorite holiday? I had considered Halloween to be my favorite holiday since I was a kid. However, I was too bitterly disappointed this year. I think it will now be Christmas.

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Thank you to everyone who sent on their thoughts and prayers when I was a mess last week. Baby had gone through severe dehydration because our heat is now running full time. All exterminating spots have been thoroughly cleaned and we are currently trying to figure out how to keep the air ‘moist’ without ruining our office equipment or paperwork. Space is VERY limited so moving her will be tough!

She is eating baby food and cream of wheat.She is drinking a type of lizard ‘Pedialyte’. She is getting feistier by the minute and she is walking and starting to climb in her cage. The one thing I thought would NEVER happen is coming true.

She WILL be her old self! 

If you are a parent, then you know how horrible it is when they get sick.It is worse when they are infants because they cannot tell you what is wrong. All they can do is cry.

My iguana cannot cry. She cannot make any kind of noise to let me know whether she is in pain, or to let me know that my feeble attempts at nursing her are giving her any kind of comfort.This is what upsets me the most.

She slept on my chest all night.When she wanted a drink, she nuzzled under my chin with her (FREEZING) cold head. She is taking sips of water and keeping them down. The twitching has dwindled down tremendously. This morning we tried cream of wheat. Thank God she is swallowing on her own and keeping it down. I called a vet and she told me that this is about all I can do for her. She wouldn’t even try antibiotics at this point because we don’t know what is causing this. It would be too much stress and trauma if I tried to move her out of the house.

Now she is sleeping on my couch, with her heating pad, and the humidifier is on. Her color is lovely but I’m not fooling myself into thinking she will ever be her old self again. (Although part of me desperately wishes it.)

Thank you for all your kind thoughts. I’ll get through this somehow.