What is freewriting? Freewriting is writing whatever comes to mind, usually writing for a predetermined amount of time without regard to spelling, grammar, structure, etc. and no editing is done. We have chosen five minutes for right now, we will add or subtract from that in the weeks to come as we see fit.

So far we have Shelli, Finn, Randi, Shorti, Trishk, and Absurdist (will you remember this week?) If you’d like in, let one of us know. If you joined in this week, let us know that too so we can link you! And check out the others. It’s fun!

Here I go….

FIL is in the hospitalagain and I’m worried. Hubs is not taking this well this time. I don’t know what is different this time Whatis he not htelling me? My shoulder is bothering me for some strange reason. Is it from the ironing that I did today? Maybe.. I ate alot of veggies todauy. I should be happy about that but i’m just gassy now. My bitrhdya is in 12 days! Yay. Maybe I’ll make myself a cake. If I dont’ no one else will. I will be going out to dinner with a business associate and his wife. We had  alot of fun the last time we were together.Andrea and I will go even if our husbands decide to be sticks in the mud. We’ll need a taxi because when we get together, we drink like fishes! Do fish drink? That’s an odd exppression. What about if we drank like camels. That implies that we can hold our liquor. Can we? I’ll tell you after the hangover goes away!  Hmm…what next? I killed a cactus. How does one do that? Did I over water irt? Yes and no. I overwatered it and then frogot about it for awhile. My bad! I couldn’t help it! It just sat quietly and never gave any indication that it was dying and then it kinda imploded on itwelf. That sucks. My thumb is truly black!!My eyes are itchy. It’s late and I’d like to go to bed soon. I won’t because my son is out and I stay awake, even when I tell mysefl that he is a grown man, oh well, I guess hell always be my little kid. I think I’ll eat a few blueberries and turnin after I finish this up. Mmm…that sounds good. And that’s my five minutess.

Almost every day, I have Joslyn here with me. Soon, my nephew Bryce will be joining us for  two or three days a week. Bryce is 2 years old and Joslyn is 17 months old. This means I must entertain them. But sometimes it gets hard. Sometimes I rely on ….GASP!….television.

I searched today and this is what is out there! I might like to watch this with Hubs!

I just have a coupla things to post. First…For Bluepaintred and all the others who requested a picture of my new love… BEHOLD!!

(Soon to be mounted on the wall above it)

Oh yeah, Slick, see the big bad mean watchdog? He’ll bite you if you try and take it.

Secondly,Babygirl bought me a new book. It’s called “Ipods for Dummies”. I can play solitaire and listen to the songs that she loaded for me. I have yet to download a single song myself. I am inept.

And thirdly….My puppy has decided that his shit is the greatest thing in the world. Now…How do I get him to stop trying to eat it? My dog is a freak.

Hubs is calling……I gotta go see what is different about “Night In the Museum” on Blue-Ray. Oh yeah…did I mention that I got a Blue-Ray player FREE with the television? YAY,ME!!!

Thursday night, my television died. Not a tube or plug or anything replaceable. Just died. Totally D.E.A.D.

There is one thing that Hubs and I have discovered in the 27 years we have been married, and that is, if we buy a Sharp tv, it will last forever. Our first set lasted 12 years. This one has been around for 15. The boys had one in their room that was still working after 8 years when they gave it away to make room for their HD television. Yes it will have a beautifully clear picture with precise color and contrast until the day it dies. But when it dies, it goes with a flourish! Sometimes it involves a blue flame, sometimes lots of smoke, and sometimes a boom.

Thursday was a little different. I was watching a scary movie and at the last 15 minutes, the screen went black. However, the signal was still coming through the cable box and it made a weird pulsing sound….kind of like a heartbeat. Thump….thump….thump….and it freaked me out. Then I realized that it was the last dying heartbeats of my beloved television.

Hubs cannot survive without a tv. It is his drug of choice for drowning me out. Faced with the prospect of conversing with me for an entire weekend (or longer) we raced to the nearest BestBuy to look at the televisions that I have been pricing. I carefully followed the sales and all the writeups in Consumer Reports. The Sharp Aquos was the one I had been drooling over. I thought that maybe this was a little too much to hope for. I mean, it’s not like we planned to make a purchase of this magnitude. I thought we’d get something a little cheaper.

Nope….I got my wish. It’s an early birthday present for me. I am SO HAPPY!!

You know, if I ever leave him, Hubs will be so sad. I will take my tv, my music and my puppy. And leave him with three kids that will never leave the house!! Bwahahahaha!!!

Yeah okay.
Its here.

People please! I am only one woman! I cannot be expected to do everything that is demanded of me. I check my email every day and I am ever so popular.  Lemme tell ya about it!

I can’t live without Hanes t-shirts. I must slim down in two days, perhaps by using colon cleanse! I can join a gym for a limited time only or maybe I just say ‘fuck it’ and order myself some soup samples!

I can change myself into an ebay millionaire, a nurse, a cop or a mystery shopper. All I need to do is respond within 24 hours to be on my way to realizing my dreams!

I am repeatedly asked to fill out surveys, buy business cards, or buy ringtones. Don’t these assholes know that I have better things to do with my time? Important things like shave my legs, eat a pudding cup, pluck my chin hairs or take a shit while no one is in the house to interrupt me!

And I get these requests for pictures. “Send me your picture! I’ll send you mine!” I keep telling MattMan and Mr Fabulous to stop sending me these requests because guys, it just wouldn’t happen! Mainly because I think the Black Singles in my area have dibs on those!

The only one that is remotely interesting is for hunting knives. FINALLY!  An offer I can use!

Now if I can only find the people that send me all this shit, I’d have a serious use for a nice sharp gutting knife!!

Last week, Shelli did a little thing called “Freewriting”. Here’s what that means: 

Freewriting is a popular technique used by writers to practice writing in general, or to collect their initial thoughts and ideas on a writing topic. It is often used as a preliminary to more formal writing.

Technique

The technique involves continuous writing, usually for a predetermined period of time (often 5, 10, or 15 minutes). Writing is done without regard to spelling, grammar, etc., and no corrections are made. If the writer reaches a point where they cannot think of anything to write, then they write that they cannot think of anything, until they find another line of thought. The writer allows himself or herself to stray off topic, and to just let their thoughts lead them wherever they may. At times a writer may also do a focused freewrite where a chosen topic structures their thoughts. Expanding from this topic, their thoughts may stray to make connections and create more abstract views on the topic. This technique helps them to explore a particular subject before putting their ideas into a more basic context.

Freewriting is often done on a daily basis as a part of the writer’s daily routine. Also, students in many writing courses are assigned to do such daily writing exercises.

Blah, blah, blah. Basically it is diarrhea of the brain. Let an idea pop in and type it out. It seemed like an interesting thing to do so a few of us will be doing this (kind of like Wordless Wednesdays) We will be using a five minute time. If you’d like to join us, let us know and we’ll link you.

So far it is Finn, Shelli and the Absurdist (and me) so check them out after you finish here,K?   Ready? Go!

We just got back from Best Buys where we boutgh t a TV. Why do men always think bigger is better? They will deliver ti on saturday.What will I do wihtout tv?I really must fill out those passort forms or Babygirl will kill me.That truffle was mighty tasty. Too bad I can’t have another.The baby’s not coming tomorrow. Mote time on the treadmill i guess.There’s too mush dust i n this room I gootta get on that.I wonder what Teri is doing? Hi teri! OMG! That pup sure can fart! I’m dying !  I have a big smudge on my glasses. It is annoying me. I can’t stand not editing this shit. I’d like to fix this mess. Speaking of mess, my hair is a mess. I don’t care Im going to bed soon anyway. Ding!

Can you understand any of it? That was fun. Try it. It sure takes the pressure off posting!!

You’ve seen this around and you’ve probably done it yourself. If not, then here’s how it goes. Go to each site:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RandomThe first article title is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Now take your picture, put the band name and title on it, then post it! Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

Here’s mine!

I’m sending a shoutout to my girl Teri and my man MixedNut. Although I’ve seen this everywhere, I saw it with those two first!

I am so glad I shampooed my carpets recently and let me tell ya why….

Today it drizzled cold, wet sleet. That alone wasn’t the problem. But Babygirl was out with her friends before work and she stopped in to grab a few things.  Her friends came in with her (they had been walking) Along with them came the wet hems of their jeans, dragging along my floor and the mud on the bottoms of their shoes.

Bandit doesn’t like the cold. Bandit doesn’t like the wet. I take him outside and he quickly makes a token squirt and runs for the door. Since I am cold too, I allow this. As I take my shoes and coat off, Bandit quickly pops a squat and fills my house with the smell–nay, STENCH– of puppy poo! Thank you, punkin!

Joslyn spent the weekend with her mom and dad learning a very valuable lesson…how to drink out of a juice box. She did this at my house (I know…What was I thinking to give it to her in the first place?) She squeezes the box and sprays juice everywhere! I rush to clean it up before I get a stain and……

the pup gets so excited by the baby laughing and me yelling that again, he pops a squat so that he can piss–only the size of a quarter, but it’s still a spot!

 And how did I find this hidden treasure?  I stepped in it! Because I took my shoes off so as to avoid tracking mud into my house from when I took the dog out to piss and poop which he saved to put on my carpet!!!

Anyone remember “Bad luck Schleprock”? That’s me.   

“So kalt, mir ist kalt”*.…Rammstein “Keine Lust”

*”So frigid, I’m cold…”*

So I’m sitting here and I am FREEZING!!  I don’t know why. I shouldn’t be. I’ve got on jeans,warm, wooly socks and a hoodie jacket with the hood pulled up (to prevent chill down my neck.) I have a blanket over my lap and the heat is set to 70 degrees. Beside me is a mug of hot cocoa.

I am still fucking cold. My nipples are so hard I could cut diamonds. No Shit!

I can be bundled to the hilt, but if my thighs get cold, forget it. I will shiver until I can warm them up. My feet used to be the part that got cold first but since I quit smoking, I guess that my circulation got better. My hands and feet tend to be quite toasty now.

I think I’ll go get the heating pad and just tell Hubs I’m using it because my back hurts.

Hey, I’m not above lying for heat!!