This  is a 7 Things Meme, which basically means that I’m supposed to list seven random things about myself. Stacy tagged me a week or so ago (God bless her little heart!) <–spoken with sarcasm! Step back-It might get big or messy…maybe both!

  1. I forgot to eat dinner tonight. Seriously. How does one do that? Son2 and Babygirl didn’t want to eat at home. Hubs and Son1 wanted to eat meat.(It’s Friday when I am doing this-I don’t eat meat on Fridays in Lent) so I figured I would wait until something good came to mind and then suddenly it was 10 pm!

  2. Although I am not a great cook (as many of you know) I am currently hooked on the Food Channel. I like to watch “Good Eats” “Iron Chef” “Unwrapped” and “Dinner Impossible”.

  3. About an hour ago,I trimmed one of my toenails too short. It kind of hurts and I hope it won’t become ingrown. What? Isn’t that random enough for you?

  4. I have Mr Fabulous’s penis in a box under my bed. I SWEAR TO GOSH! Actually it was the ginormous dildo that he used for part of his Halloween costume. I must remember to mail it to the girl with the sweetest tits!

  5. The index finger and thumb of my left hand are orange.I was eating Doritos. Mmmm!

  6. The song that sums me up is probably “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink-182. Yeah, I’ve been pretty juvenile today. And I said “Oh yeah? So’s your Mom!” to somebody in a sissy fight.

  7. The socks I am currently wearing are ‘quitters’.Why am I wearing them anyway? Because they are so fucking comfortable and I’m only going to bed soon anyway.

Time for the 7 Meme Rules:

• Link to the person who tagged you
• Post the rules on your blog.
• Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
• Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
• Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.I am tagging: NO ONE!!!!

The reason no one is getting tagged is because y’all bitch and moan about doing memes yet you steal them from each other like pens from the bank! (Me included!) So steal it and get your ya-yas out. It’s okay to feel like your doing something immoral….I won’t tell….unless you tag me next time!!

Friday has rolled around yet again. I’m hopping back on the horse with a Freewrite.That way I can dump the crap in my head.  Will I stop at five minutes?  I don’t know for sure. Let’s just see where the river flows to….

What is freewriting? Freewriting is writing whatever comes to mind, usually writing for a predetermined amount of time without regard to spelling, grammar, structure, etc. and no editing is done. We have chosen five minutes for right now, we will add or subtract from that in the weeks to come as we see fit.

 Well, this past week was torture. Dad still isn’t doing well but I’m much better. Thanks to everyyone who gave a shit. Really. On a lighter note, i was asked recently, if I could do anything right now-without consideration to anything else-what would i do? I also gave this answer in the crazy 8’s meme. I would be a bounty hunter. Woul;dn’t that be a kick-ass job? Tracknig down the fugitives, running stake-outs , and carrying a gun? I would be like that chick Domino ( minus the addiction part) I wouldn’t look that great but still….it’s a fantasy!

Or maybe a tarapeze artist….OOh! that would be fun…except I’d be exposed to clowns and they are seriously fucked up. I hate them. I mean why look that creepy in a job that supposed to make kids laugh?  Next time you see one, ask them why they must traumatized kids like that. I’ll be awaiting a response!

Now for the group lovin’….Shelli, Randi, Kyra, Trishk, Shortie, Robin, Absurdist, and Stacy. Did I forget you? Let me know!

To all of my Fanfuckintastic friends:

You have no idea of the emotions I felt reading your responses to yesterday’s post. Your kind words mean the world to me. I don’t intend to post a blow by blow account of what is happening here. I will keep that close until the appropriate time.

When we went to see Dad last night, we were fully expecting to say our goodbyes. Dad had been in heart failure at one point but managed to pull through. With the weakened condition of his ravaged body, we don’t expect that to happen too many more times. When we arrived at the hospital, however, he was sitting up, eating his dinner and knew who we were. But it was clear that all wasn’t well. He thought we were all on vacation in Florida, and that there were spiders in his room. While we were ecstatic to see this, the emotional toll of doing a complete about-face was almost too much for me.

This was when I lost my shit. I damn near collapsed outside of Dad’s room when we were leaving.This was what became too much for Hubs to bear.

My family and I are doing the best we can in this situation. Life goes on as we all know. I did manage to slip away for a minute or two here and there and I did visit a few of you (although I may not have commented.) When I did stop here, I was warmed repeatedly by your encouraging thoughts.

I will be printing up my comment page and carrying it in my pocket. That way all I have to do is to unfold it to receive your virtual hugs. EVERY SINGLE ONE IS APPRECIATED!

All I can say is “Thank you all so very, very much. 

PS: Grant, your comment was such a deviation from the norm that I almost peed my pants! I desperately needed a laugh and you provided one! Thanks! 

I’m searching for steel, and I’m asking my friends to send me a bit.

I need to be strong emotionally for a while. I learned tonight that I may be crushed by what is coming. Hubs actually said the words “Please don’t fail me now. I can’t do this without you.” All I wanted was to be held and comforted myself. I know this will be hard.

Hubs and I are okay. My kids are good too. My father-in-law is now on the roller coaster of ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’. Tonight the ‘bad’ was almost as bad as it can get. Dad has been wonderful to me and I love him so much that my heart may burst. It will hurt when he goes. But I need to be strong for Hubs. He is the oldest son. His best friend is his Dad.

I need strength.

Some guy tagged me to do this. (I guess I will since I currently have NO LIFE!) 

It’s called Crazy 8’s. Now pay attention because I’m only doing this ONCE!

8 Things I’m Passionate About -Music, movies, books, family, kids, friends, my hubs, nail polish (I love it and it must be a certain kind) -Not necessarily in that order.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die -Learn Japanese, visit Japan, parasail, scuba dive around the Great Barrier Reef, See Rammstein perform live, Become a Grandmother (SON1), have ALL three of my kids move out, become a bounty hunter.

8 Things I Say Often -”Fab, I promise to call in this week!” “Fuck you” “Bite me” “Don’t touch that!” “Bandit No!” “I don’t wanna hear it!” “I forgot!” “Oh yes, there”

8 books I’ve Read Recently -PA driver’s Manual, “Lisey’s Story” and “Blaze” both by Stephen King, “My Boring-Ass Life” by Kevin Smith, “Dirt:The Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band” by Motley Crue, “Brother Odd” by Dean Koontz, and the last Harry Potter book by JK Rowling. That’s all. And I’m not finished with 3 of them.

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over -”Ohne Dich” and”Rosenrot” by Rammstein, “Spirit in the Sky” byNorman Greenbaum, “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison, “Alone I Break” by Korn, “Cry Baby” by Janis Joplin, “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones, and “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden.

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends- HUMOR! Sincerity, selflessness, generosity, honesty and willingness to gossip behind someone’s back-even at a funeral or in church.They must also be enthusiastic about singing my praises at every opportunity. Oh, and did I mention HUMOR?

8 People I Think Should Do Crazy 8’s -Grant, Stacy (cuz payback is a bitch and so am I), Trukindog, Teri, Lynda and Blondeblogger and anyone else who hasn’t  been tagged yet. BE HONEST! If you weren’t tagged yet, DO the fucker already!!

What do you do when you are called on to do something that requires a skill that you don’t possess? This keeps happening to me and I don’t know if there is anything a person can do about it.

I am not creative-VISUALLY. I know how I want things to look (sometimes) but I don’t know how to make that happen. When it came time to come up with a  look for my blog I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Between Peggy and Babygirl, we came up with what you see before you. Was that the last time I was called on for this? No.

Recently, someone had a contest that required creativity. Again, I had nothing. Not even the littlest germ of an idea. When I see the entries revealed I will look at them and say”Why didn’t I think of that?” or “I know how to do that!”.

It’s like being in an argument and not having the  perfect comeback until three days later. All of a sudden you think,”Oh yeah? Well too bad you got that disease from the whore your husband’s fucking!” Only you’re in the shower and nobody is home to hear your sudden burst of brilliance.

I happen to own several knick-knack shelves, pictures and frames, different colors of this and that, and they are all sitting in my basement packed away. I know I like them. I know that they fit in with the colors of my decor or the theme I have in mind, but I don’t know where to put them. Just the thought of doing this is staggering to my imagination. Therefore, I have several expanses of blank wall in my home. I don’t have the  money to hire someone to do it for me either.

Now I can get a new header from Miss Kyra (she of the bodacious tatas) I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what works with my theme. Do I have a theme? I DON’T KNOW!

This was always a problem in school. I would get great grades until project time rolled around. Instead of a volcano that spewed lava or a hurricane machine or a poster presentation of the lifecycle of a peanut, I would hand in the top of a carrot in a dish with new growth of green out of the top. I’d get comments like “If you’d just put a  little more effort into it….” I just didn’t have it in me.

As an adult, I know you can find out that you have an undiscovered talent for something. But is there a way to “learn” a talent? I can play the piano, but not enough that I would consider it a talent. It’s more of a capability.

What do you have? What do you not have and want? Is there an answer to the search for talent?  I’d like to know!

I stole this meme from Nobody–a long time ago! I’m posting it now!

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. It’s better than green cheese.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Smoked? No.

3. Do you own a gun? Yes. It shoots cookie dough out in different shapes.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? I never noticed a drink in Sonic the Hedgehog.

5. Do you get nervous before doctors appointments? Only the dentist.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they are pinkish, tube-y bits of meat-ish pleasure.

7. Favorite Christmas song? Merry Christmas Baby(I Don’t Want to Fight) by the Ramones

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I prefer a shot of Southern Comfort but since it is somewhat unacceptable, I settle for coffee sweet and light.

9. Can you do push ups? I can do push.

10. What do you order at Starbucks? I order them to lower their prices. They usually don’t comply so I walk the fuck out.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Amethyst and diamond earrings arranged in the shape of orchids.

12. How do you eat your eggs? Slowly and joyfully.

13. Do you have A.D.D.? I did last week. Anal Discharge Disease is not fun.

14. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? I’m a kind and loving person all of the time and it gets in the way of my mean disposition.

15. Your eye color? After the beatings, they are a beautiful shade of purple that fades to a greenish yellow.

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment…Shannon speaks loudly. There’s not enough SoCo in my soda. I need to buy a bigger bottle of SoCo.

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? Nothing, nothing and nothing. What? It was too cold for me to leave my cave!

18. three drinks you regularly drink? Southern Comfort and Coke, Alka-Seltzer for the hangover, and Coffee to get through the day.

19. Current worry right now? That I will finish this drink before I finish this meme.

20. Current hate right now? The gremlin that’s watching me from the corner of the room.

21. Favorite place to be? In the basement between the water heater and the dryer.

22. How did you bring in the New Years? I didn’t bring it in yet. I’m still in denial.

23. Where would you like to go?I’d like to go to Hell and visit Tug.

24. Name three people who will complete this? Someone who needs a post, someone who has good answers, someone like me.

25. Do you own slippers? Several. Jack the Pumkin King, white ones, purple ones and black ones.

26. What shirt are you wearing? Several. A green cammy, a red sweater, and a tan sweater. It’s cold.

27. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I fall out of bed. And they show the stains more than the other ones.

28. Can you whistle? From my mouth, nose or my pussy? Yes. Guess which one.

29. Favorite color?(s) Black, red, green, yellow, purple, orange, blue,  grey and white.

30. Would you be a pirate? Yarr!

31. What songs do you sing in the shower? If I sing in the shower, I get water up my nose and in my mouth and come perilously close to drowning. Therefore I try not to.

32. Favorite girl’s name? Andi, Jo, Billie and Bobbi.

33. Favorite boy’s name? Adrian, Leslie, Michel,  and Chris.

34. What’s in your pocket right now? Lint, $5 I cheated Babygirl out of, and my hand as I search.

35. Last thing that made you laugh? Bandit tried to eat Son1’s big, fat pug Maggie and almost succeeded.

36. Most frequently dialed phone number? Milmont Pizza.

37. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I was curled up on the couch with my feet under me and I got a phone call that was important (I had been waiting for it)I got up to answer only to find out that my leg was “dead asleep”. It crumbled under me, breaking my foot. I walked on it for 3 days before going to the hospital. I needed to have it re-broken to set.

38. Do you love where you live? No. I live in the shadow of my brother. It is a lonely existence. What? OH! Yes! I love this town and my house! I thought you meant… never mind.

39. How many tv’s do you have? Two flat screens,two regular and one 6″ screen tv that I can watch when I am in the basement. ( Between the water heater and the dryer)

40. Who is your loudest friend? What? SHANNON! SHUT UP!!!!  My loudest friend? Nope. No one’s loud.

41. How many dogs do you have? I have one. My Bandit. Son1 has a pug named Maggie but although Son1 lives with me, Maggie does not. She lives with the girlfriend.

42. What are you thrilled about right now? I’m thrilled that Maggie doesn’t live with me. She and Bandit together are too much to imagine!

43. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes. Kyra and Turnbaby.

44. What is your favorite book? “Sex on the Beach- A Mixer’s Manual” (a gift from DutchBitch)

45. What is your favorite candy? Young handsome men.

46. Favorite Sports Team? the Olympic Clam Diving Team.

47. What song do you want played at your funeral? “Good Riddance” by Green Day and “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum.

48. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Watching a Japanese chef make a chocolate sauce that contained hot chili peppers.

49. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Please don’t pee on the floor Bandit! I’m coming!

50.  I seem to have lost a question! It’s your lucky day!

Normally on a Friday, I would have “Freewrite” here. I don’t think anyone else did it today either. But let me just say,

I FEEL BETTER!!!

I went to bed early last night (so I never did a post) and wonder of wonders……SNOW! Enough snow that the schools are closed. That means no kids over here for me! I told Babygirl to shut off her alarm and ran back to my bed before it could get cold! I got to sleep in! YAY!

So…No “Freewrite”. I’m taking a snow day. I think I’ll have a hot cup of coffee and watch Hubs do the manly job of shoveling. Maybe I’ll even ‘warm him up’ when he gets in!

Have a great Friday everyone!

It is only Wednesday afternoon as I type this and I’m wondering…..

Could this week get any worse?

First the flu. Man, has it got me in it’s grip! I feel like my head will explode. My chest is wheezy, my nose and my ass are runny, and I feel like crying to anyone and everyone who will listen.

Then, I got a new phone. That alone is not a bad thing, but since I am sick, I can barely focus  enough to figure out the buttons. Did you ever notice that the icons on a phone are fucking small?

Third, my so-called friends tagged me for memes. I won’t name names, FAB AND STACY! I can hardly wait to do them <–SCARCASM,people!

Fourth(and OMG is this the best!) Joslyn’s sister has lice. LOVELY!  I know, I know! It is a normal thing for kids to get this. I know it’s not the end of the world. I was the one who spoke these platitudes to Jo’s mom. But yet….I find myself itchy. You do too, I’ll bet! Just the word lice is enough to make the most stalwart among us turn into a scratching machine!

Well, her poor mom checked Jo thoroughly and sent her over so that she could take the day off of work to exterminate the house. What she told me was the most horrible thing I could imagine!

Any mom who has dealt with this, knows that for the most part, combing through the hair is just a pain in the ass. But imagine this…

Jo’s sister told her mom that her head itched. Mom thought that she was stalling at bed time. Finally, she gave in and washed her hair, thinking that it would shut up the girl. Now,you know you don’t send a kid to bed with wet hair. So she blow dried it. Anyone know where this is going?

You got it! The heat from the hair dryer made the nits hatch. Now there are actual BUGS not just EGGS! Jo’s mom was freaking out!!!(I was too when she told me the other night!!) I have never heard of anything so horrendous in my whole life!! Needless to say, her poor young mom hasn’t gotten much sleep.

I laughed my ass off. (After the initial screaming and gagging!) I mean seriously, it wasn’t happening to me! It’s not like anyone was dying for Christ’s sake! And then as fast as I started laughing I stopped. I had forgotten the most important lesson in life.

Karma is a bitch. Could this week get any worse? I’m afraid I may find out!

I’m still sick.

I’m not happy.

I guess you could say it’s the “Same shit. Different day.”