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Filed under: Friends, ineptitude, kids, lessons, miscellaneous, other shit
It is only Wednesday afternoon as I type this and I’m wondering…..
Could this week get any worse?
First the flu. Man, has it got me in it’s grip! I feel like my head will explode. My chest is wheezy, my nose and my ass are runny, and I feel like crying to anyone and everyone who will listen.
Then, I got a new phone. That alone is not a bad thing, but since I am sick, I can barely focus enough to figure out the buttons. Did you ever notice that the icons on a phone are fucking small?
Third, my so-called friends tagged me for memes. I won’t name names, FAB AND STACY! I can hardly wait to do them <–SCARCASM,people!
Fourth(and OMG is this the best!) Joslyn’s sister has lice. LOVELY! I know, I know! It is a normal thing for kids to get this. I know it’s not the end of the world. I was the one who spoke these platitudes to Jo’s mom. But yet….I find myself itchy. You do too, I’ll bet! Just the word lice is enough to make the most stalwart among us turn into a scratching machine!
Well, her poor mom checked Jo thoroughly and sent her over so that she could take the day off of work to exterminate the house. What she told me was the most horrible thing I could imagine!
Any mom who has dealt with this, knows that for the most part, combing through the hair is just a pain in the ass. But imagine this…
Jo’s sister told her mom that her head itched. Mom thought that she was stalling at bed time. Finally, she gave in and washed her hair, thinking that it would shut up the girl. Now,you know you don’t send a kid to bed with wet hair. So she blow dried it. Anyone know where this is going?
You got it! The heat from the hair dryer made the nits hatch. Now there are actual BUGS not just EGGS! Jo’s mom was freaking out!!!(I was too when she told me the other night!!) I have never heard of anything so horrendous in my whole life!! Needless to say, her poor young mom hasn’t gotten much sleep.
I laughed my ass off. (After the initial screaming and gagging!) I mean seriously, it wasn’t happening to me! It’s not like anyone was dying for Christ’s sake! And then as fast as I started laughing I stopped. I had forgotten the most important lesson in life.
Karma is a bitch. Could this week get any worse? I’m afraid I may find out!
22 Comments »
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Fantastagirl
said:
on February 20, 2008 at 10:06 pmOMG - I’d laugh but then i’d be called at work tomorrow and have to do that deep clean at my house.
Metalmom
said:
on February 20, 2008 at 10:13 pmFantastagirl-Go ahead,laugh! I dare you!
Oh Jeez! Never mind-you have young’uns!
Matt-Man
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 08:26 amI hate when my Karma runs over my Dogma. Get well soon. Cheers!!
Matt-Man’s last blog post..John McCain: Sex, Lies, and Viagra-Gate
Teri
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 08:38 amthis is normal for kids to get? thank god I never got it. every time I hear about someone having lice it makes me want to gag.
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 08:55 amMattMan-You are too funny!
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 08:57 amTeri-Lots of kids get it and it’s lost a lot of the stigma that it had when we were little. It’s just not the end of the world when it happens.
the108
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 12:20 pmYou know, lice doesn’t creep me out more than, say, a five foot long tape worm crawling up your windpipe and out your nose.
That’s really gross.
the108’s last blog post..the109 speaks out
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 12:42 pmthe108-Eww! Now that was just wrong!
Didn’t you know my tummy is delicate?? 
Grant
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 01:34 pmLast Sunday a Japanese waitress asked if I wanted lice with my meal. I said yes, but she brought me a bown of white grains instead. I took it out of her tip.
It can always get worse. For example, you could have a fondness for hot Japanese women and a creepy vibe(tm) that automatically repels them. Or your family could be destroyed by Giant Atomic Chickens(tm). And they could have lice.
Grant’s last blog post..Busy
Sybil Law
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 01:53 pmHey! I have to say - my own daughter got lice from school (from a kid who got it and gave it repeatedly, apparently), and after trying some of the “prescribed” stuff from the doctors, and scratching my own self raw (I am probably the worst person to ever have to deal with live!), I found this stuff online: http://www.nitmix.com/. I know I sound like I work for them, but it was so, so awesome and natural and it worked! Not harmful for the kid or anything. I seriously gave myself scabs and itched like a crazy person (even though I did not have lice), and this entire site put me at ease.
Anyway - I have been there (unfortunately), and it truly doesn’t freak me out like it did (although - ick - still… haha). That stuff right there saved my sanity. Highly recommended.
On second thought: I should work for them!
Good luck.
Sybil Law’s last blog post..Portable Sybil
Tug
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 04:17 pmDAMN girl. It’s got to get better, doesn’t it?
um, YES. YES is the correct answer.
Feel better!
Tug’s last blog post..Bullets. ‘Cause I’m busy & shit.
Lynda
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 04:23 pmThat’s kind of funny! I remember my mom combing my hair with a lice comb, but fortunately, I never had the little buggers! (Knocks on wood hoping she never does!)
Lynda’s last blog post..Lucky Star
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 05:05 pmGrant-Lice is vely good wif meal.You try,Joe. You riw wikey!
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 05:07 pmTug-I think ‘better’ is starting to happen. At least my ass is feeling better!
Metalmom
said:
on February 21, 2008 at 05:10 pmLynda-I was pregnant with Babygirl when my sons both got them. My MIL flat out refused to help me or comb me out and so did MY OWN MOTHER!! My hair was to the middle of my back at the time! They demanded that I stay away from their homes (BITCHES!) Thank God for Joslyn’s Grandmother (who is a friend from back in the day!) She came to the rescue and I love her for that!
Michael
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 12:05 amHope you feel better soon, my head is itching now thanks.
Michael’s last blog post..In your face
Metalmom
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 09:52 amMichael-Thank God it’s only itchy! Can you imagine if it were little bugs???
~ Stacy ~
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 12:28 pmOMG! That very nearly freaked me out enough to almost forget that you threatened me. I mean, what’s a little meme between friends?
Heh.
You know what’s really freaky about this lice story? Last night I dreamed about microscopic, red, killer bugs that were speed-eating people right before my eyes. Talk about nightmares! *shudder*
I hate microscopic bugs. My son got lice from someone in school one day (I think he was in 2nd grade), and I went all crazy with my debugging spree. It took me 24 hrs to bag and spray and vacuum and launder EVERYTHING!
That poor woman. I can relate. ‘Course, I laughed first too.
~ Stacy ~’s last blog post..FF #3: Egads!
Metalmom
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 01:12 pmStacy~I know right? I laughed my ass off. Then I realized that her baby comes to my house and all the laughter stopped!! Now I get to call her kids my little “cooties”!
Metalmom
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 01:14 pmSybil Law-How did this comment get overlooked? I don’t know! Anyhoo… I will seriously make a note of this stuff because the fact that I have other people’s kids in my house means that the odds of it happening here are pretty good!
Miss Britt
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 01:21 pmYou had me at runny ass.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..A Letter To My Body
Metalmom
said:
on February 22, 2008 at 04:39 pmMiss Britt-I would have never taken you for one who enjoys runny asses!