I saw this at Robin’s and since some of the answers tie into what I did today, I decided to do it this way! 
What’s on your mind? My hair…..Oh wait, that’s on my head! On my mind….let’s see….I wonder if I can have quick sex in time to watch a movie without Hubs knowing he’s being rushed……Oh hell yes I can!

Where is your significant other? Taking a shower and shaving in anticipation of his wild night of ‘quickie’!

Have you ever made out in a basement? Made out? Yes. Done it? Yes. Gotten pregnant? Yes to that too.
 

Is your driveway steep? Steep enough for skiing? No, of course not. Steep enough to make me stumble if I’m drinking? YES!

Name 4 things you did today?  1) Found cute jeans in my size, 2) Tried them on and they fit, 3) Squealed like a 14 year old,  4) Was so happy that I bought two pair!

Suprising? Yes This never happens to me!!! (ps They were from the junior’s department!!!!!! BONUS!)

Have you ever been tied up? Didn’t you see this picture?

Have you ever had 2 dates in one night? Two dates? I once had a whole bowl of dates before bed and I woke up with diahrrea!

What have you eaten today? Coffee and Pixie Stix for breakfast, salad for lunch, chili for second lunch, ice cream for dinner and goldfish for evening snack. I haven’t decided what my midnight snack will be. 

Which shoe do you put on first? The one without dog poo from the middle-of -the night walkies.

Do you get distracted easily? Not usually, but I….Did you see that??

As a mom, I’ve been a chaperone on many school trips. Living as close to Philadelphia as we do, this means alot of museum trips and historical venues. The one place that I enjoyed the most, I had the pleasure of visiting twice-once when I was 12 years old and once  ten years later at 22. This was the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

At twelve, we view these trips as a day out of class. They are a welcome diversion from the everyday routine of school. We don’t appreciate the importance of what we are seeing.

At twenty-two, I went on a day trip to this museum with another couple. Each of us had a toddler in a stroller. Needless to say, this was sort of rushed because of feedings, diaper changes and nap times. Also, do you have any idea how amplified a bored toddler’s voice can be in a setting like this? I highly discourage a visit such as this.

In all the years since, my kids have been there, but without me. I managed to go on every trip except the one I wanted the most.

On Friday, this will change.

Babygirl has asked me to join her class on a trip to the art museum. I cannnot convey the thrill that this gives me. Son2 and I have a special bond in our love of Salvador Dali. Son1 has a secret love of the Botticelli art. (I say secret because he often teases his brother about his love of art and claims that it is a sissy thing) I have yet to learn what Babygirl thinks of the more traditional arts.

I know that she loves photography. She also has a talent for creating art-whether with paint, sculpting, charcoal, or crayon. She is much like me. In school, I would draw and paint, but in my shyness, I never showed it to anyone, much less my mother. Was I afraid of laughter? Of disapproval? No. It was more like the fear that I wouldn’t measure up to expectations.

On Friday, as we roam the halls together, I hope to learn something about my daughter. I want to watch her as she sees these things with fresh eyes. I want to see joy light her eyes as she beholds the things that she has only seen in books. I want to relive the wonder that I felt at twelve years old. I was too young to understand what passion was being lit in my soul. However she is sixteen. She is old enough to understand.

While talking to a friend today, the topic of ‘aloneness’ came up. For a change, we happened to meet up on a day that neither of us had any kids with us.

She mentioned that she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her laundry was finished. Floors vacuumed. Fingerprints cleaned up. After years of whining that she needed some time to herself, she didn’t know what to do when she finally got it.

You know what I did? I was busy all day. I did trivial things, like a jigsaw puzzle. I did important things, like faxing and making doctor appointments for Babygirl. I did mundane things, like shower and shave my legs. Between all of these things, I did laundry, went for three walks with the dog and read a little.

Hubs came home, ate his dinner, and said his muscles were aching from climbing stairs and ladders. He went to bed at six. Babygirl was out with her softball team and later she met with friends. The boys both ran out of the house as soon as they could.

And me? I was alone again. Oddly enough, I was happy with the situation. I’ve blogged a bit, played with the dog, and ate some ice cream.

Normally, when midnight comes around, I begin to fret that won’t be able to fall asleep. Tonight I am writing this post. I am more relaxed than I can remember being for some time. I feel comfortable in my skin. I liked my own company today. I was active. My brain was stimulated. I feel like my batteries were recharged.

Best of all, I feel like going to bed soon. Not only that, but I feel almost positive that I will sleep….deeply. Somehow words don’t seem enough to describe this feeling. I am unaccustomed to this, but I would like to have some more of it.

I wish I could share it with you.

Yesterday, I received an unexpected mention in a post written by Ms. Sexiness herself, DutchBitch. It seems that the Queen of Dutchlandia was giving out awards to the blogs she considered most worthy of her reading time.

Guess what? I am worthy! I am in good company too. I hope you stop by her place to say hello and see who else made the cut! 

The rules of the award are as follows:

1. Identify the originator of this award, and link so she can get her well-deserved traffic. That would be Kayla at Project Mommy.

2. Pass on at least 10 Excellent Blog Awards.

By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, you have to award it to 10 more people who’s blog’s you find Excellent Award worthy. You can give it to as many people as you want but please award at least 10.

Now I am listing (not in any type of order) my personal worthy blogs.

Bluepaintred, Finn, Shelli, FlipFlopMomma, Grant, Trukindog, Kyra, Nobody, Fantastagirl, and Absurdist.

 Now go forth and multiply!……or something like that.

********************

In other news…..

It has come to my attention that not everyone in the world is aware that there is a HUGE party coming up in May. That party is TequilaCon’08. Don’t let the name fool you. It’s not all about tequila, although if you want it to be, then okay. Many of you DO  know about it and are coming to Philadelphia just to meet me!!!! (Humor me a little,’kay?) I am seriously excited to meet many of you and Hubs has sworn me to my best behavior (so no group sex, drunken puking in alleyways, or dog fights–I know, I was looking forward to that too!)

If you are anywhere on the East Coast, maybe you could join us. Even if you’re not on the East Coast,you can come too. All the details are posted at runjenrun so go there, contact her, and get in line to meet your FAVORITE blogger…..Whattaya mean, “Who?”…..ME!!!!!

Recently, Hubs got new phones  for Babygirl and me and had them added to his business account. This was considered the best thing since …..well, since ever. Babygirl would get unlimited texting (which she really needed-or so she said) I on the other hand, would get unlimited use on the weekend (Now I can call Mr Fabulous and Turnbaby on Sunday nights!)

He picked out new phones and surprised us with them. “Surprised” isn’t quite the word I would use. They were “functional”. (Code for UGLY!) Now, I personally didn’t complain. I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Babygirl, on the other  hand, stated flatly that she would not be seen even holding this monstrosity. Daddy took them back and got us pretty phones. These new ones needed a plan different from the plan he had gotten. So he got another plan too.

My new number is a different area code so we waited to see if there would be roaming charges. However, Babygirl got right into the groove of using her mad texting skillz. Even when her dominant hand was in a splint, she never missed a beat. The texting goes on before school, after school, during break at work, and interspersed through homework time.

The bill came yesterday. Of course our provider fucked it up. (I won’t use the name but it begins with ’spr’ and ends with ‘int’ ) They billed us for the original plan (Just Hubs-for business). And they billed us for a plan compatable with the ‘ugly phones’.  And they billed us for the current plan for the pretty phones. (Following me?) Over a THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!

After we cleaned up the shit in our pants, hubs jumped on the phone to have a civilized conversation with customer service. (I would have made merchant marines blush) Now listen to this!  They were expecting the call! NO SHIT! Our account was red-flagged “expect these folks to rip us a new one!” Anyway….it was fixed. No harm-no foul. We spoke to a rep that spoke English clearly and who dealt with us efficiently. What are the odds of that?

Now here’s an interesting tidbit. Babygirl sent almost 8,000 text messages. EIGHT THOUSAND!!!  Are we bad parents? We didn’t tell her that the bill was straightened out. We showed her the bill for a grand and let her shit herself too.  Did she? NO.

“Daddy, you’re just gonna have to call them up. I distinctly asked for unlimited texting and it should be in the package. Fix it.”

And she proceded to text her girlfriend. Did Hubs flinch? Of course not! We’re talking about Daddy’s girl here!

Deep breath.

I did laundry today. No big deal right?  I didn’t have a lot to do, maybe three loads. So I did some towels, some whites and a load of darks. Only I did the darks first.

Son1, the clothes horse, has an awesome navy blue zip-front sweater that looks dynamite on him. He wore it for Easter. The last time I washed it, it aggravated me and I told him to hand wash it. I forgot about that. I looked at the label today and it says “machine washable-like colors” So I did. Here’s the aggravation: It sheds lint. Not just a spot or two. Huge balls of black fluff the size of a golf ball!

It was everywhere in that load of laundry. I shook out the first tee shirt and lint flew everywhere in my basement. It landed on my peach colored blouse, a load of whites, and all over my hair. Now I was annoyed. I took out the next shirt, and shook that too. Now there is more lint blowing around and the breeze has blown the first batch even further around! Now I am angry.

I took the tee shirts to the dryer and out of the corner of my eye, I see that I am being followed by a black thing moving very quickly. A FUCKING SPIDER!!! I scream and scamper away and it is still following me! I jump into a chair that is down there and look down.

It’s a fucking ball of lint. It had been carried on the breeze that I caused just walking. Now I am PISSED!!!

I stalked upstairs-all the while saying some words that could have me excommunicated as a Catholic! As I turn to close the basement door, I notice that there are black lint footprints that I have brought up on the soles of my socks. Not only that but it is stuck to the legs of my jeans from the knees down!!

Later, I take the second load of clothes out of the washer. This would be the towels. They too are covered in lint.

Why does this shit happen to me? All I wanted to do was wash a couple of loads of laundry. For once I wasn’t complaining about doing my kids’ laundry. I actually OFFERED! The best of intentions and all that shit! I think God is just fucking with me. I think He is toying with me. He is giving me a bunch of petty aggravations and soon He will bless me with something cool to compensate for such pranks.

Right, God?……. Right? ……

Where’s Ashton Kutcher?

Sunday night was trivia night on Turnbaby’s radio show. I like trivia. I have a gift for remembering stupid shit. But ask me to make a doctor’s appointment for you or tell me that a bill needs to be paid PRONTO and I will forget that I ever heard it.  This tends to get me into a lot of trouble.

But that is not what this post is about. If you have been here alot, (okay maybe ever) you might know that I like my music loud, fast and angry. (Kind of like my sex) This doesn’t mean that I have no knowledge of other types of music. But I have noticed something more recently. During the trivia quizzes, I have been getting alot of those answers right! I am talking specifically about 80’s music.

I really hate 80’s music. If I hear it on the radio, I’d rather drive in silence. Seriously. I make alot of jokes about not liking Duran Duran, or the Pet Shop Boys but I asked myself…WHY? I opened my ears to listen and I noticed that some of this music isn’t half bad. I know all the words.I know the riffs. I know the performers. But why don’t I like it?

OVERKILL.

When these songs were new, they played on the radio constantly. MTV was just as new as the videos they played. The songs were put into heavy rotation. Lots of coming-of-age movies that were set in the 80’s used all of those same songs too. I became disgusted with listening to them and gave up on radio and videos in favor of casettes and this new thing called CDs. During movies, I would tune them out during the montage that seemed to be a requirement for the films. I realized that I missed huge chunks of movies because of the music. It was usually my cue to take a bathroom or snack break.

So I am wondering, is there anything that was ruined for you by overkill? A single movie played on tv constantly? A TV show that reruns repeatedly? What has been done to death for you?

This week was pretty crazy in the Metalmom house. I had kids every day of the week, different numbers every day and different ages every day. It was going well, until I realized that this was a foreshadowing of the summer to come. (Hide all the guns now! I may get an idea to use one!) I became a little depressed at the thought and this also led to my being short-tempered and frustrated. I realized that I must entertain these kids throughout June, July and August. The older they get, the harder this gets.

Coloring books and crayons, stories, and videos will only get me so far. What will I do when they tire of this? I thought that I had come up with a solution….

See? Easy-peasy! I must thank Turnbaby for the idea. (Hm…maybe I shouldn’t mention that…..she is a lawyer!) On the other hand, it kinda backfired on me…..

Yeah, that’s me. I’m in the middle of my ‘nineteenth nervous breakdown’. I was looking for  the shelter of ‘mother’s little helper’. I prayed “I wanna be sedated!” Tied up, getting my hair pulled, and being poked used to have such exquisite connotations. Now it is quite literal.

Don’t worry. With a careful combover, I can hide the bald spot, and the doctor assures me that the bruises will fade in time. With the excellent pharmaceuticals available nowadays, I find myself in a drugged optimism, joyously awaiting June!!

Thank God I got paid for this!

*See the cute little puppy in the background? He was waiting for the opportunity to pee  RIGHT THERE!