It’s that time of year again. Air is fresh, the birds are singing, and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of…….SHUT THE FUCK UP! I was being serious for a minute!

 Jeez! You guys are awful!

As I was saying….thoughts of PROMS. Tonight, my Babygirl will be headed off to her Soph Hop. She will be the belle of the ball (of course). She picked out and bought the dress herself and I must say, that she did an incredible job of it!

In a few more weeks, she will attend her friend’s Junior Prom. And then a few weeks after that she will go to Handsome’s Senior Prom. Whew! I haven’t seen a social calendar like that since “Gone With The Wind”!

I know that a few of you have kids the same age. Even some of the younger kids now have 8th Grade dances and ‘Spring Flings”.  The bottom line is this-

Watch out for the kids on the roads for the next few weekends. For some this is the first ‘big’ night with mom or dad’s car. This is the first ‘adult’ occasion for them. So be extra careful as you pull out onto the highways. Be a little patient as the young drivers take their time through intersections.

And may everyone have fun and be safe.

The weather was beautiful. The temperature was just right. I wanted the windows open to let in the fresh springtime air.

I opened the drapes. They were dusty. I decided that I should wash them. I had no babies here so this was the perfect opportunity. I returned to open the windows and then I noticed that the glass was dirty. A winter’s worth of dust and Hub’s smoking,(yes, he still does that….but let’s not go there!) had gathered on the panes. I needed to wash them because it detracted from the beauty of the sunshine.

Well, as long as the indoor windows were getting cleaned I may as well clean the storm windows and the screens. It would only take an extra few minutes but it would pay off in the end. Hmmm….I have to remove the blinds so that I can get to the storm windows. That’s okay, I’ll soak them in the downstairs bath tub. A simple soak, dry and hang them back up. No prob.

In order to get to the brackets holding the blinds, I have to move a hanging plant. As long as the bathroom is steamy, I may as well treat the plant with a little humidity. And since I have a few clippings, I’ll repot them (as long as the plant is down)

After cleaning the screens, my bathtub was covered in a black film that wouldn’t just rinse away. It needed to be scrubbed. On my hands and knees, I cleaned the tub until it gleamed.

I was a busy little bee. All of the tasks got done. One by one, my windows were returned to sparkling clarity and non-dusty shine. I was proud of myself. I got it all done with no interference from anyone.

My house smelled fresh. The sunshine dappled through the trees and into my living room. The curtains looked brighter. My house looked more cheerful (or maybe it was my attitude) I sat down.

I sat down.

I sat down.

I couldn’t fucking get back up!

My back had locked up. So there I sat until Hubs came home. He went back out and picked up dinner. We ate burgers and then I ate Percocet. And Advil. And did I mention Percocet?

Today, me and my buddy Perc (as I like to call him) just hung out in my bedroom. We watched television and laughed at the ho’s on Maury. We also saw something about Pope Benny, (but I don’t quite remember what it was) Later, we watched the Hillary/Obama debate (but we didn’t understand a word of it, even after twenty minutes.)

Oh yeah, and I called the doctor. Steroid injections will begin again. *Sigh*

All because I was enjoying the weather.

I have a weird relationship with my mom.

I love her to bits. We have tons of laughs when we are together. We like to eat out, play scrabble when we just stay in, and we like to tease Dad. When we shop together, I forget  how much I hate to shop. She is highly intelligent and so very generous to everyone she knows.

On the other hand, she can annoy the shit out of me. She will smile and in a sweet voice, ’give advice’ that will cut you to bone. And she has a tendency to be uber-critical of people. Especially the women in my brothers’ lives. She will say things like “L. is psycho. She is a bitch. She is horrible.” She will also say that “J. has ballooned up to 300 pounds! Seriously, she’s like a house!” None of these things is true.  Plus,I happen to have very good relationships  with both L. and J.

She also used to work in a well-known restaurant. Therefore, whenever we eat out, she tends to complain about every.single.thing.! She wouldn’t have added this seasoning. This should never be presented to the customer looking like that. And she does it LOUDLY.

You may be tempted to say it is just a quirk of old age,but she has been like this for the past thirty years. She is only in her mid sixties. I dread thinking of what will happen when she is forgetful and hard of hearing!

There are days when I will cringe at the ring of the telephone because I know it will be her. And I feel ashamed of feeling that way.

Today was not one of those days.

She came over and we had lunch together. She loved the soup that I made for lunch. She didn’t notice any imaginary spots on my spoons or glasses. We laughed and laughed and I was relaxed the entire time!!

When she left I did not heave a sigh of relief.(Which has been known to happen) I felt a little sad as I watched her get into her car and drive away. But I will admit that I smiled for the rest of the day.

I hope she did too.

I don’t know about you, but my mama always told me that when you say you’re sorry, you should mean it. In order to mean it, you should fully intend not to do or say the offending thing again.

Am I right? Did I miss something? Was my mom lying? Does she now owe me an apology?

I won’t name any names, but this is getting on my last motherfucking nerve. Someone tells me that they will clean their room and it only gets halfway done. When I confront the offender, I get “I’m sorry.”

Someone will move a garbage bag in front of the kitchen door, in order to leave the house. Why wasn’t it taken out? “I’m sorry.”

Someone spills sugar on the countertop in their mad rush to leave the house in the morning. Do they clean it up? “I’m sorry”

Wet towels lay on the floor. Dishes sit next to the sink. We’re late for something again. The door is not pulled shut all the way. One cookie is left in a bag on the table. The potato chips are not clipped closed.

The list goes on and on.

This isn’t every day. This isn’t all at one time. But even one thing a day, tends to snowball. I become “the Nag” yet again.

I don’t want to be THAT mom. I don’t want to be THAT wife.

Why am I put into this situation time after time? If I say nothing, doesn’t that imply that I’m okay with being treated this way? If I say nothing, doesn’t that imply that it is okay to live like animals?

ARRRGGGHH!!!!

Frustration seems an inadequate word to use about how I feel on this subject.

I’d say I’m sorry for venting all of this here, but then I’d be lying to you. You know I’ll bitch and moan again.

I’m sorry – I don’t live in paradise.

My week was yucky. I haad no kids wich in itself is usually a good thing. But on sunday and Monday, I pretty much had no internet and I got pissed off and started drinking to calm my nerves so on Tuesday, I was hungover and wearing sunglasses. I did some laundry and not much else. Okay, I lie. I sipped water and took aspirin. On Wednesday (the high point of my wek)I was interviewed by Absurdist and that was a ton of fun! Thursday, my doctor said I gained two pounds. WTF? I hate him. He’s a liar. Now its Friday. *sigh* Tomorrow I’m sleeping in late with Nobody*. That’ s all I have ot say about that.

* From Nobody’s Thursday post: “I really hope that some of you will join me in my protest of protests. Here’s how it’s gonna happen: We’re going to have a sleep in on Saturday morning. We will display our apathy of these ridiculous protests by ignoring them and sleeping in. ” The man is brilliant!

So that’s it for a freewrite about my week with a bonus snippet of Nobody. Links will appear as I find them. Have a great weekend!

What is freewriting? Freewriting is writing whatever comes to mind, usually writing for a predetermined amount of time without regard to spelling, grammar, structure, etc. and no editing is done. We have chosen five minutes for right now, we will add or subtract from that in the weeks to come as we see fit.

Go see Shiny! He did it too!

I’ve been scratching my head alot lately, and NO! I don’t have lice! I’ve been watching the news.

*Nine year old kids are plotting to kill their teacher because one of them got corrected.

*Teenage girls beating up another because they want to put a video on YouTube. They want the attention.

*Olympic torch bearers are being beaten and trampled during what is probably the proudest moment of their lives. Not because of something that they did, but to make a point to someone who doesn’t give a shit.

I certainly understand the outrage over the conflict between the government of China and the Dali Lama. We as human beings must not tolerate these atrocities, or our acceptance makes us accomplices to this behavior. However, does that justify jumping a torch bearer? These are Americans on American soil who are being pushed down to the ground. These are Americans doing the pushing in order to make a point. Do the Chinese really give a shit? No. I think they are sitting back watching and laughing at the anarchy they are causing worldwide. We should find another way–a more peaceful way– of making our disapproval known.

And these children…What makes them think this behavior is okay? I blame the parents for not teaching right from wrong. I blame them for not knowing what is going on in their homes while they are not there. I know that you can’t be everywhere all the time. I know that kids do things all the time that their parents are not aware of. But they need to be taught and punished for what they do. These kids get no consequences for their actions.

I also blame television. I blame the “adults” who are shown on TV, beating an innocent person in an attempt to get attention. These are the “adults” setting the examples. These are the people showing us that this is the way to make a point.

When the news is over, do you shut off the television and and go about your evening? Or do you sit with your kids and tell them that not all adults act this way. Do you tell them that you agree with the message but not the way that the point is being made?

Or are we all going to hell in the proverbial handbasket?

What do firearms, MILFs and nailpolish have in common?

Tune in to the Absurdist on Wednesday for the answer to this question and many more as the Absurdist herself interviews the one and only Metalmom for the next installment of “20 Questions”

 We now return to your regularly scheduled programming….

Three things:

1.  Don’t start drinking hard liquor  at noon. It gets harder to follow instructions. (And it makes walking kind of hard when you’re doing laundry.)

2.  I don’t know who loves Babygirl’s boyfriend more right now, she or me. He fixed quite a few glitches in my computer and so far , so good.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I wanted to catch up on a few more things that I didn’t do today but……

3.  ……I went to the eye doctor and she dilated my pupils. (If I had known that was going to happen, I would have just smoked the weed instead of drinking !) When I get this done, it tends to stay with me for HOURS! Therefore, I am having trouble seeing my monitor clearly. I currently have my nose touching the screen and it’s not very comfortable!

 Oh,well. What can ya do? I think I’ll go to bed soon and pretend that Monday never happened.

On Friday, I took the trip to the art museum. This was a great experience and I really enjoyed every minute of it. If you ever have an opportunity to go to an art museum, I highly recommend having a personal tour guide (Or are they called ‘docents’?) They are trained to point out details that you wouldn’t ordinarily look for and they also know random facts that are quite interesting. I learned that this painting by Salvador Dali:

 Soft Construction with Boiled Beans-Premonition of Civil War

was a depiction of the Spanish Civil War-even though there isn’t an outright illustration of war in it. I learned that Japanese tea houses had short doors so that guests were forced to enter on their hands and knees in order to show respect. And I learned that no matter how roomy and comfortable your chic boots are, DO NOT WEAR THEM ON A CLASS TRIP! (I dealt with blisters on my poor feet.)

I also learned that Babygirl is a fan of Andy Warhol, and more of the photographic arts. She gets along with her peers and a certain guy in her class makes puppy eyes at her whenever he thinks she is not looking. I learned that her teacher respects her opinions and thinks that she is very talented in her creative writing.(Just like her momma!!)

And finally, I learned that leaving the puppy in the care of Son2 for the day, does not mean that he will miss me any less. I walked in the door and he damned near killed me trying to get me to rub his neck! (The puppy-not my son!)

On Saturday, I learned that cleaning up my computer isn’t necessarily a good thing. Now I am not recognized by a few of my favorite sites. I will have this situation remedied some time this week. (It’s killing me-now I have to talk to Hubs!) However, I can get into my blogs and email alot faster and I can stay on with fewer crashes!! YAY!

So that’s what I learned. All in all, it was a good couple of days.  What did you do?