Death to Bo-Bo

This is a Bo-Bo:

Bo-Bo is a terry-cloth plush toy that is sold at most pet stores for cats and dogs. If you’ve ever seen the PETCO commercial, it is the one dragged by the daschund through the store. Bandit just adores them. He had one from the day we brought him home. He slept with it, chewed on it, and learned to shake his head with it in his mouth to beat us with it when he wanted attention. Eventually, he hollowed out the head. I sewed it but just wasn’t the same. So we went out last Sunday and bought  him a new one.

He was in heaven. All other toys took a back seat to Bo-Bo. Again, he took it everywhere and even reverted to sleeping with it like a teddy bear. Then on Wednesday night he did this:

On the left you see the severed ear. On the right you see the ’squeaker’ that made the ever-so -joyful noise that told me that Bandit was busy and not getting into trouble. I took Bo-Bo away and intended to sew the hole up. However, while I was in the shower on Thursday morning, Bandit climbed on a chair and got the toy from the table. He loved the hell out of Bo-Bo. How do I know this? you might ask. I know because signs of the loving were everywhere. I should have taken a picture before I cleaned the mess. This only a small amount of what I found EVERYWHERE!!

Poor Bo-Bo never stood a chance. Bandit ripped him a new hole. It was a sad day.

Now look at this puppy. I ask you….Does this look like the face of a diabolical killer who enjoys slow torture and dismemberment?

She Loves You, Yeah,Yeah,Yeah…..

DutchBitch loves meeeeee!

Sometimes the best awards are the ones that come to you unexpectedly, out of the blue. I got up today expecting to be bummed out because I am without water (due to the construction) between 9am and 2pm. Instead, because I couldn’t do all the things I normally do (read: housework) I hung out on the blogs and lo and behold! I got a virtual hug! TA-DAAA! Not bummed!! Therefore I am sending some out willy-nilly myself!

Mr Fabulous-Maybe if I spread the love, he’ll leave my underage daughter alone!

NYCWD-Because I love cereal, and he makes me smile.

Britt-Because when you are so busy trying to be strong for others, you need to be reminded that someone loves you too.

Avitable-For being there for Britt in a way we all want to be.

Absurdist-Because jury duty can take alot out you.

Teri-For sending out a search party.

Flipflopmomma-For thinking that I’d look good in a jumpsuit!

Bubblewench-Because the guy who squeezed her boobs was an asshole.

Libragirl-For hanging out with me all morning when I was bored.to.tears.

And most importantly- To Wayne-who went above and beyond the call of duty untangling the mess that was “Don’t Wanna Hear It”. If it weren’t for you being there, I wouldn’t be here!!

Okay, kids. Now go pay it forward!!!

Promised Prom Pics

I can’t remember whether or not I told all of you that Babygirl is no longer seeing “Handsome”, her beau of nearly a year and a half.  She is okay with it (it was her decision) It is just hard because he is my best friend’s son, and they will see each other FOR.EV.ER.
 
Her new guy is a friend that has been around for quite some time. He is a nice guy too. I think all of these fellas have wonderful taste. After all, they choose my baby!
 
Last week, she went to BF’s junior prom. And I have to say, she did an incredible job of pulling herself together. She picked out the dress on her own (no help from me-except to pay for it!) Isn’t it gorgeous?

She made an appointment to have her hair done. The salon she chose was to cut her hair and give her an updo. They neglected to tell a young girl of her age that the cut would be $25.00 and that the updo would be $75.00! Luckily, they called to confirm her appointment and I happened to ask how much it would cost (I wanted to make sure she took enough money with her) Holy shit!!  She had no idea!  I could tell by the way all the color drained from her face! Son1’s girlfriend came through with the name of a friend who would do the whole thing for $65.00. Whew!

 

BF came over to get her and brought along her flowers – a tastefully delicate wrist corsage.

 

Aren’t they a handsome couple? Am I just being a biased mother? Naaah, she’s gorgeous!

Monster Trucks

See that hole? The one with the metal plate? That’s in front of my house. What you see there is the beginning of a job that will continue until July. The water company is replacing a line that runs the length of my street. Lucky me!!! It is a busy street and busier intersection, so all day and all night I get to hear “thunk thunk-thunk thunk-thunk-thunk”. And guess what else? Bandit is afraid of the sound and whimpers sometimes during the night (waking me up)

After a night of blissfully interrupted sleep, I awaken to the rumbling of these:

There is a generator that is turned on that sounds as though there is a helicopter parked on my lawn. The rumble vibrates the storm door and all of the windows. Then the jack hammers start with their “chackachackachacka”. This sound will continue ALL.DAY.LONG.

You wanna know what else happens all day long? Bandit sits on my lap trembling in fear. It’s like having an infant around here again. If I do dishes, he is sitting on my feet. If I vacuum, he is following closely behind. If I sit down to read, he is there beside me. And most annoyingly, when I try to go on the computer, he wants to sit on my lap. He is not the tiny little puppy that once managed to snuggle up and stay there all day. NO!! His ass slides off to the side now, or his head hangs under the arm of the chair. This is uncomfortable and it tends to put my legs on pins and needles!

This will drive me crazier than I already am!!

July can’t come fast enough for me!

My Fabby Nights

Sunday night I had the opportunity to hang out with one of my favorite internet friends, Mr Fabulous. I co-hosted his Sunday night show, Pointless Drivel Live. We discussed the many ways I warp little kids. He tested my knowledge of celebrities-dead and alive.( I hit that one out of the park) and we made a bet involving an alcohol-related taste-test that I can’t wait to win. The time flew by much too quickly and if you are ever invited to be his guest, I recommend that you jump at the opportunity.

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A few weeks ago, NYCWD bestowed “Snacked-Upon” status on me for my post regarding the dreaded wedding songs. I neglected to thank him (since I hadn’t been blogging regularly) so I thank you now, Dawg! And also a huge thanks to Lynda for nominating me for the honor! *sniff* I’m verklempt! Tawk amongst yourselves!

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Prom was Saturday. Babygirl was an angel. And yes, photos will be posted….soon….I promise!

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Also on Saturday, I went out to dinner with my Hubs. The food was great, and we had a wonderful time together.I’d like to thank DutchBitch for the drink book. It was the night to try Blind Melon. I got trashed. I LOVE THEM ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY KIDS!!! What? I said ALMOST! The recipe :

1 oz vodka
1 oz Southern Comfort (yummy)
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Midori

pour over ice and top off glass with cranberry juice. OMG! Heaven! (and it’s great for your urinary tract health!) Who says drinking isn’t good for you??

While I was gone…

So…………..

My computer had a few glitches. Some of you experienced them and asked about them months ago. I went to my provider and they fixed them. The problem was that the “fix” lasted all of two hours before happening again. Therefore, Somebody introduced me to the knight in shining armor, who, not knowing me from Adam, agreed to help me switch providers. A simple plan, no? Well, this, that and the other happened and it turned into a quest worthy of the Holy Grail. (The “Grail” being my blog) This man in his infinite patience is still entering my back door and tweaking my system. (That’s what Karl said!) I am patient and I hope you are too. This will be over shortly and I can return to the bitchiness that is “Don’t Wanna Hear It”.

In my time away, I have missed telling my own account of TequilaCon (I think you’ve heard them all anyway) I could have told you about the large family party held in my house by my son and his girlfriend. I’ve been mad at Hubs for big things, little things,and all the in between things. I missed a post I wanted to write about my Dad for his 65th Birthday and a post for my Mom on Mother’s Day,

If you wanna hear about them, shoot me an email and once I get rolling again, I can fill you in. If you absolutely can’t wait, then join me on Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern as I co-host PointlessDrivel Live with the troublemaker extraordinaire, Mr Fabulous. I am sure he will discuss (or disgust) his plans for driving me insane by marrying my dear, sweet, innocent Babygirl. Or maybe he will just discuss (or disgust) relationships that include sex details that are like hearing about your parents having sex! BLECH!!!

In any event I hope to be back soon. And thank you to all who gave a shit and asked me if I was okay. The only ax murderer around here has been me. I wasn’t lucky enough to be kidnapped and taken to Aruba. And if you’d like to hear what other speculations were out there, go visit Teri. FUNNY SHIT, TERI!!!

TequilaCon 2008

TequilaCon has finally passed
Everyone there had a blast.
YOU were missed, it made me sad,
But here’s some things that made me glad:

As I entered the room, I saw Miss Britt
dressed in yellow and strutting her shit.
Adam was there with Dawg and Poppy
Hilly was on her way to “sloppy”

Karl has a hot lil heinie
but not as cute as our man Shiny
Finn is gorgeous as can be
and Becky’s boobs have how many D’s???

Libragirl and her friend Robyn
With BubbleWench were seen hobnobbin’
Dave2 made us tags and buttons
they were great and so was Dustin.

And now we have my dear friend Shelli–
I laughed so hard, I hurt my belly.
She rubbed her tits, calling,”GOOOOOOOGLE ME!!”
and was seen sending a drunk text (or three!)

And finally to Super Jen….
YOU ROCK!!
and I can’t wait to do this again!

This Sucks

I’m having technical difficulties.
I can’t even edit this post.
Neddless to say…..

I AM PISSED!!!!

Please be patient.