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Once upon a time, Hubs did a job that required him to get up in the middle of the night to go to work. He worked in businesses that had to be closed in order for him to work, or in areas where motor traffic would be a danger to him. The point is, he’d leave me alone in the wee hours.
Babygirl had just been born, but she was a very good newborn, who slept through the night. In fact, she slept through the night until she was two. This meant that even though I was awake at two, three or four am , I had nothing to do.
Why did I need something to do? Because I find it hard to sleep alone.
I can sleep in the bed alone when I am sick or when I am exhausted. I know that Hubs is in the next room and it’s comforting. I can go to sleep when I know that he is getting up to go to work. He will leave at five or six and I can definitely go right back to sleep. But those late night jobs were sometimes in areas that left him vulnerable to crime or where he was working alone with no backup in case of injury and that thought kept me awake.
He left a short time ago. He left to work in another state and he will stay overnight and come home Friday. It is raining, so I will sit here typing this while I worry about him driving on the highway. I will most likely fall asleep again around 8am. That is when I expect him to call and let me know that he made it to his destination.
After all this time being married, I certainly enjoy being able to stretch out on the bed. I like the comfort of the “middle”. I can fall asleep with the TV on if I feel like doing so. But I miss the certainty that come with knowing exactly where he is. Not in a “hovering wife” kind of way, but differently. I find it hard to explain.
Tonght (or more precisely this morning), I have finished doing laundry and will now fold it. I am just about finished packing for vacation. My house is pretty much clean and the dishes are done. What is left?
What’s left is to snuggle with my puppy and wait for the phone call that will finally put me back to sleep.
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Finn said:
on July 24, 2008 at 9:23 AMAww, that’s so sweet. I actually prefer to sleep alone these days because Mister does gymnastics all night long and, when the Chrone’s is acting up, he snores!
But I’ve been where you are too when he had to jump up at 3am to catch the bad guys.
Metalmom said:
on July 24, 2008 at 9:38 AMFinn-Hubs snores (like an amplified BEAR!) I have trouble sleeping with the silence and that’s why I like the TV set to snooze.
Froggywoogie said:
on July 24, 2008 at 9:53 AMNothing can be merely explained with very few words but I’ll do it for the sake of my comment:
Me thinks you are both a little insecure with yourself and still VERY MUCH in love with hubby after all these years, which is a delight to witness, even through the www
Metalmom said:
on July 24, 2008 at 11:58 AMFroggywoogie-GET OUT OF MY HEAD! How dare you be so perceptive! (I think you are 100% right!)
Froggywoogie said:
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