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I wanted to post something frivolous, but instead my brain was bombarded with questions that just keep swirling round and round…….
Why do families go crazy with greed when it comes to inheritance? Not just monetary greed, either. Some people seem to think that their memories of the deceased are more important than someone else’s.
Why does a daughter with no sons need a man’s cuff links or tie pin? Shouldn’t they be given to someone who will use them? Just because a son doesn’t have a curio cabinet, does that mean he is not entitled to have some of his mother’s collectable knick-knacks?
Why is it considered wrong for someone to throw their hands up and decide that rather than fight with their siblings, they would prefer to sell something and split the money with their vultures family even though it will cause temporary hardship to themself?
Why is it acceptable for four people to decide what should be done for six? Do the other two get no opinion? Maybe they are the two who have been run over all of their lives by the bulldozers of the dominant personalities…..or maybe they just missed ‘that meeting’.
I am disappointed in my in-laws. As close and loving as they been on the surface, suddenly true colors are being seen.
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Philly said:
on August 5, 2008 at 8:39 AMBrings out the worst in people, amazing isn’t it?
#1
Phillys last blog post..Tantilizing Tuesday
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 8:52 AMPhilly #1-I know that it happens all the time, but I thought “Not our family…”
Finn said:
on August 5, 2008 at 8:54 AMI hear this all the time and never, never understand it.
Finns last blog post..Wanting
whall said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:19 AMI haven’t experienced it first hand but have heard how bad it can be. It has initiated pre-emptive disussions in my own families to walk through posessions ahead of time.
whalls last blog post..Vista Search Annoyance #1
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:25 AMFinn- I’ll never get it either.
delmer said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:27 AMWhen my parents die (and I’m thinking it’ll be about 30 years from now) it’s just going to be me and my sibs sorting things out — no spouses.
We all seem to lack the greed gene.
delmers last blog post..My Sunday In Photos
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:28 AMWhall-We thought we had done this too. Unfortunately I have heard “Mom only said that so you would stop asking” and “Dad never knew how much it meant to ME” and the worst- “They weren’t in their right mind when they said that”!
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:30 AMdelmer-This IS only the siblings!!
Loving Annie said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:31 AMDeaths and the accompnaying fighting over money and who ws more important to the deceased and really knew what they wanted/how it should bge done, becomes truly revolting. The sudden clawing for every tiny thing, the eliminating some people in the family over others, the injustices, the materialism, the insensitivity, the true colors flying – it’s really creepy what possible money and self-righteousness brings out in people who feel entitled. Fair, logical, kind, reasonable rarely enters into it.
Sorry that your in-laws have succumberd to this modus operandii.
Loving Annies last blog post..I’m Angry – Is it Safe to Say so ?
Teri said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:45 AMI hate when people act this way. It’s like the person didn’t mean anything but their “stuff” sure does.
When my mom passes I’m telling my sister that we should sell or donate most of her stuff. Only the very sentimental stuff we’ll deal with, which isn’t much. We’re not into the stuff anyway. Our memories are worth more.
I hope everything works out!
Teris last blog post..More Skyline
delmer said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:46 AMI was very lucky when it came to getting the family I got. I see this more and more as time goes by.
None of us fight, any of us would give any other anything they have. My parents weren’t the type that led any of us to need therapy later in life (marriages took care of that).
The men in my family aren’t the best at touchy-feely things. But I can tell we’re all trying.
delmers last blog post..My Sunday In Photos
Slick said:
on August 5, 2008 at 9:52 AMUgh…Trisha’s family was embroiled in an inheritance fight when her grandfather passed away.
I don’t know why families act like that shit….
Slicks last blog post..Men On Scooters…..
Miss Britt said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:06 AMAdam and I were just talking about this at lunch yesterday.
In some cases, people just suck.
BUT? Hearing how you’ve talked about THESE people before?
I think it is more about people having different grieving process and kind of losing their shit. Ya know?
Miss Britts last blog post..Is This What They Mean By “Rediscovering Your Marriage”?
Fantastagirl said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:36 AMAnd this is why I have requested that my parents write down who gets what. We’ve had the opportunity to witness some pretty bad stuff.
best of luck – but if something is important to the hubby – tell him to speak up.
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:46 AMLovingAnnie- “Fair, logical, kind, reasonable rarely enters into it.” I think you just hit the nail on the head!
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:48 AMTeri- Memories are most important. This is why Hubs and I really don’t want much. I only asked for MIL’s cookbook. That was cuz I called her every night while I made dinner for the first two years I was married. I couldn’t cook and I borrowed the hell out of that thing!
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:49 AMdelmer-Your family sounds like a treasure. I hope it is always that way!
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:50 AMSlick- But Trish’s family worked through it, right? Right?
Robin said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:52 AMIt’s really sad how people can get, I don’t understand it.
Robins last blog post..Top 5 Possible Jobs
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:52 AMMiss Britt- I think I needed to be reminded of this. I have been crazy in love with Hubs’ family (for the most part) and I know I am luckier than most when it comes to in-laws. I sincerely hope it is only the grief acting out! Thanks
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:54 AMFantastagirl-All was written down and it’s still being argued over! I am praying that Hubs speaks up. He’d rather let it go and move on. But I know that down the road he’ll be sorry and it’ll be too late to do anything about it.
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 10:54 AMRobin -Me neither!
Shelli said:
on August 5, 2008 at 12:07 PMI agree. Grieving affects people differently. I know that I wanted to hold on to every single thing my dad ever touched or wore or treasured. I wanted those things because they still had “him” on them. My brother took my dad’s tool belt (Dad was a carpenter) and he vacuumed it all out, getting rid of the sawdust and smell of my dad. I was so angry with him. He also took all of my dad’s tools. Something that I feel should have been divided between me and my other bother as well. I know Sam would have treasured having a tool/tools that belonged to his grandpa.
You do get past it. It just takes some time.
Shellis last blog post..Me? White Trash Mom? You Betcha!
Grant said:
on August 5, 2008 at 12:45 PMI know why, but it will cost you $5 to find out.
Grants last blog post..Modified Plans
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 1:02 PMShelli- Is there a time frame for ‘getting over it’? I’d like to know when it’ll be done!
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 1:03 PMGrant-You are such a goof and you always make me laugh! Now here’s a $10 to go away!
Froggywoogie said:
on August 5, 2008 at 2:13 PMWhen I heard of deceased wills saying they were donating it all to charities and not leaving anything to families I used to be in shock, then I understood why. What you’re saying is just another example.
So sad.
That makes you understand why Civilization is so fragile.
Big hugs
Froggywoogies last blog post..As One
Metalmom said:
on August 5, 2008 at 4:36 PMFroggywoogie-Dad would NEVER donate to anyone. He claimed he worked too damn hard for what he had. I hope the family settles this soon. I’d hate to see civilization crumble before our very eyes!