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I was on the phone tonight with my brother (the older of the two) and it was so weird, but natural at the same time. We don’t usually talk unless it’s important. We both believe that “no news is good news” and we are content to leave things that way. The strange thing is, that even though we don’t ‘chat’ often or even visit (He lives 5 minutes away), we never seem to be missing anything that is going on in each other’s lives.
His kids are new teenagers. (13 and 14) I have been there, done that. My kids are older. He hasn’t grown up so much that he doesn’t remember what it’s like. Therefore we have a ‘touch’ spot for reference. He gets what I am going through and I get what his life is like.
We are the “responsible” ones. We have families. We have good kids. We have wonderful relationships with our spouses. When it comes to the other brother and the sister, we both get equally frustrated with their choices in child rearing, relationships, drinking, womanizing, you get the drift… I get to deal with her and he gets to deal with him. It is as fair as you get in that situation.
We were on the phone for an hour and a half, talking about the kids growing up so fast, How is work?, How’s your honey?, Have you visited Mom lately?, Did you watch the Phillies the other night? Nothing and everything.
We got ready to hang up and just before good-bye, he said, “Love you, Sis.” I said “Love you too.”
I know how he feels. He knows how I feel. We don’t say it often, but we know.
It was nice to hear it tonight.
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Tug said:
on August 7, 2008 at 9:55 PMThat is SO my younger brother and I…all but he doesn’t have kids (but his girlfriend does, so he’s finding that awesome & I love how excited he is about it). He’s the one that just went to NYC & totally spent the whole trip teaching my daughter about the whole Yankee experience. Brothers can be so awesome…
Tugs last blog post..Life is short…
Fantastagirl said:
on August 7, 2008 at 10:04 PMYou are lucky.
I have that relationship with my youngest brother – now that he is expecting his first baby in November. He told me that he really respects the way I parent, and he hopes he can be half as good as us – which of course made me a teary-eyed dope. We also have the same opinions on our other 3 siblings – which makes it easy to get along.
Metalmom said:
on August 7, 2008 at 10:11 PMTug-My bro is going camping with his family tomorrow and I could tell that he won’t sleep tonight. He’s more excited than the kids! He’s an awesome dad.
Metalmom said:
on August 7, 2008 at 10:13 PMFantastagirl-I got teary-eyed myself. All I could think of was “Where’s Metalmom’s edge gone?” I guess he can get away making me blubber…after all, I made him cry alot growing up!
Amber said:
on August 8, 2008 at 12:01 AMOkay, you need to check your email because I FINALLY responded. Hopefully it’s long enough to make up for the three days that it sat in my gmail inbox with a gold star, telling me I needed to reply – then being pulled in a hundred different directions.
Reading this entry…
It just caused a chain reaction of emotions:
Jealousy – you can talk to your brother, hear him laugh, hug him, yell at his kids… whatever.
Mushy Heart – because that is the sweetest thing I’ve read all day.
Hope – for all the other people out there who have good relationships with their siblings, yet take it for granted that they’ll be there tomorrow.
Pride – that you have the kind of relationship with your brother where you can say, “I love you” and both of you know one another means it. That you can have hour and a half conversations… then go for days without talking, but always knowing that you are there for each other. That you both have the peace and contentment that come from a secure relationship like that.
I know you needed that connection to family badly as of late. I’m so glad you got it.
*BIG HUGS*
(Now go check your damn email, woman!)
Metalmom said:
on August 8, 2008 at 11:56 AMAmber- The family connection thing? You are so right! I needed a good connection after all the shit going on!
*running away to read my email!*
Teri said:
on August 8, 2008 at 2:04 PMI find I talk more to my sister now that she lives so far away. when they live so close you know they are around the corner, therefore, you don’t talk as much.
Metalmom said:
on August 8, 2008 at 2:06 PMTeri-You might have something there. “Lostmahead” used to live within walking distance from me and we barely ever saw each other. I moved further away and we see each other more. Interesting……
whall said:
on August 8, 2008 at 2:29 PMYay, I can get to your site w/my bb again and I come here and I read a great story. Win-win!
Sorry for the domain scare.
whalls last blog post..The master of my own domain
Froggywoogie said:
on August 8, 2008 at 2:29 PMIt happens some family members get along, and it’s great to hear…
Now,
I love you SteelMom
Will you have some Kleenex with that?
Metalmom said:
on August 8, 2008 at 3:03 PMWhall-My first thought was “NOOO!! NOT AGAIN!!!” But you fixed it all up. All is right with the world. (I’m glad you liked the post.)
Metalmom said:
on August 8, 2008 at 3:04 PMFroggywoogie-*sniff* Stop teasing!
UnkeyMonkey Michael said:
on August 8, 2008 at 4:36 PMI have 2 sisters. They are not speaking to each other. I try to talk to them both, but since i hate talking on the phone, it’s usually written. Every once in a while, we will throw in a “Love ya!” It feels weird to write it, but you’re right, it is nice to hear.
When i talk to them, there is always a heaviness in my heart that i’m not getting to watch my nieces and nephews grow up. We live in 3 different states.
Sibling relationships can be so complex!
UnkeyMonkey Michaels last blog post..The Art Of Shawn Barber, featured on LA Ink
Metalmom said:
on August 8, 2008 at 6:00 PMUnkeyMonkey- This is where I stand with my sister. It’s just the tip of the iceberg! Now THAT’S complex!
http://dontwannahearit.com/2007/09/27/angers-burnin-inside-me/
Grant said:
on August 9, 2008 at 9:16 AMLove – puke.
Grants last blog post..888 is the new 666