I like a joke as much as the next person. I don't take things very seriously and I hope you don't either. Hope you didn't come here to whine 'cause I don't wanna hear it!
I want to post something. I need to post something. This blank screen is mocking me…..
“Oh Metalmom! What’s wrong? You have opinions on everything under the sun. How can you not spew one forth now?” (For some reason, it the voice of Colonel Klink from Hogan’s heroes.)
This is true. I have a lot of views that I never express because the people I am with either don’t care or they don’t understand.
“Come on, little girly-girl! Tell us a story! Tell us about the time in high school when you stole the car!”
This is a story that I haven’t shared with many folks (other than the ones who were with me.)
“Well, fine! Then tell us about the book fetish!”
Really, now. I don’t think that this is the time or place for tha–
“Or how about the time you stole the candy?”
But-
“What are you? Chicken?”
Noo, but–
“At a loss for words?”
*Sigh*
The truth of the matter is that I have a migraine just trying to come forward and it is making me fuzzy with the details I want to convey. Damn this stupid brain! For once I think I have a lot on my mind and nowhere to unload it right now. So I guess it will have to wait…
I screwed up, not in a horrible way, but it was enough for Hubs to be embarassed. This led me to wonder,
Babygirl went to a checkup for her braces. A bill had come at the beginning of the month but I was under the impression that we could pay that at the time we came into the office.(For some reason, I thought we had discussed that with the orthodontist) Well, we parked the car and Hubs asked me if I had a bill in my hand. I answered yes. Then he asked “When was the payment due?” I told him my impression and he got flustered.
His fear was that the receptionist would make a scene and he would be embarassed. I told him to stay the hell in the car.
I went in, I explained my assness, and paid the bill. No harm-no foul.
So what was the big deal??
I understand not wanting to be embarassed, but it seemed such a trivial thing to me. It led me think about what embarasses me. I came to realize that not much does. But I can say that SBD’s will cause me to run and hide. (What is an SBD? A “Silent But Deadly” gaseous explosion from between the butt cheeks — or a fart, in other words.) Everyone farts, but still…..it can be cringe-worthy.
I know that if I sing out loud in a store, my boys will disown me. I know that if I talk to Babygirl’s friends as if I am a teenager, I will be shunned. Both of these things are small potatoes when it comes to the big picture of life, but I am curious to know if there is something that others may ignore that seems like the end of the world to you?
Normally, the blogosphere is a vast wasteland of nothingness on the weekend. Everyone is busy with their lives, their children, catching up with yardwork and household chores that take a back seat to their jobs Monday through Friday.
Since I have no life (at least until late afternoon) on Saturdays, I tend to travel hither and yon reading bookmarked posts or trying out new links.
This weekend, I have to give thumbs up to some of you for the posts that you did. We certainly were a feisty, informative, and pissed off group! You guys gave me much to read, much to laugh about and much to think about.
The top five were (in no particular order):
1. NYCWD-He gave a well written post about doctors, pharmacists and EMTS and some of the obligations they have to us and their prospective oaths.
2. Dave2-He certainly called foul on John McCain’s claim that he “resolved the POW/MIA issue”. This was an eye-opener to me because I didn’t realize that it was ever resolved!
3. FlipFlopMomma-The end of world is at hand and now I have all the concrete evidence I could ever need to convince me of this thanks to her tireless research into the ‘facts’!
4. MattMan-He put the stories of Sarah Palin’s anointing by Pastor Thomas Muthee into an explanaton I could finally understand.
5. Sista#1 from Holy Crappers- She exposed the ridiculous requests of teachers (Yes, the one’s who are teaching our youngsters!) All I will say is, there are some real asshats out there!
Thank you to all of you for entertaining and educating me.
It was still dark. I could hear Bandit jingling his collar. It was time to go out.
I opened my eyes and peered through the darkness to the clock. 4:53 am. Damn. The breeze coming through the open window told me that I wasn’t going to be happy.
I pulled on sweats and tucked in the hem of my nightgown. (You might think “who cares?” but let me tell you, four of my neighbors are leaving for work at that time of the morning!) I slipped on my flip flops and went into the yard.
Sweet Mother Mary! It was chilly! My nips hardened so quickly, it hurt!
Bandit must have sensed my impatience because he hurried through his pee and quickly copped a squat. Business finished, he raced me to the door.
It was a good thing that Hubs had decided to use the bathroom. Bandit and I jumped onto the bed, found Hubs’ warm spot and snuggled in to warm each other.
Today was the first morning that it felt like fall. I shiver just thinking about what’s to come!
I am a bitch. Not only am I a bitch but I love to bitch.
Sometimes when I’m feeling nasty (or maybe PMS-y) I just revel in it. I will turn on The View just so I can bitch about what a twit Elizabeth Hasselbeck is. Or I will turn on Maury Povich so that I can see what kind of inbred morons are fighting over “Who’s your Daddy?”
After a day of bitching indulgence, my family comes home. This is when I (regrettably) take it out on EVERYBODY. Everything that comes out of my husband’s mouth is suddenly patronizing. Everything my kids say is taken as an insult. None of them can do a damn thing right in my eyes.
Once upon a time I stated to my doctor that I can “hear the shrill come into my voice” and I know that it is time for anti-depressants. They keep me on an even keel (so to speak) I really haven’t been ‘over-the-top’ in a long time.
This week? PMS. I know it is. I can feel the difference. My nerves feel especially raw.
I’m just looking for a fight. I had to turn off all political news shows. I can’t stand it. Everyone on TV is a fucking idiot today. The world is full of idiots today.
* Today is the first day of fall. Ugh. The leaves will begin dropping soon.
**Today I began my new babysitting assignment. Christian is 8 months old and OMG! I have never had such a good baby! His sister Alexa is 3. She is a very curious little girl who just wants to see what is in every cabinet, drawer, closed bedroom, and refrigerator. There is no reason other than , “I duss wookin”. After two weeks to myself, the quiet and sleeping in late, I will admit that they kicked my ass today. We walked, we played, and walked and played some more. I am dead tired. 7:30am comes awfully fast when you are confronted by kids that aren’t your own!
***Just when he caught up with his bill paying and was due to pick up his health benefits, Son2 got laid off. There are so many things that have happened to this kid. Not all of them were good by a long shot. Out of respect for his privacy I have never gone into what they were, but let me just say that he had finally cleared up a string of bad luck that seemed like it would never end. He was becoming a responsible adult and tax paying member of society. I wish he could just catch a break for once.
****This is all that is happening here. I read no blogs today. I don’t think I can concentrate long enough to try reading some tonight. Since the kids won’t be back until Wednesday, I’ll catch up with everyone tomorrow. After I catch some much needed beauty rest. I am feeling like a sweaty old hag right now!
Who’s on first? What’s on second? I don’t know is on third?
Am I the only one old enough to know that that is a famous Abbott and Costello routine?
ANYWAY!…..
We are going through some business with my son and since he is 22, no one wants to talk to mom. He is an adult now. Now everything is being handled like a relay. It is a royal pain in the ass!
Man on the phone to Son2:”Do you have information about___?”
Son2:”Mom, do we have the information about __?”
Me:”Yes, here it is.”
Son2 to Man on the phone:”Yes, I have it. Here it is.”
Are you following me? This is serious business involving his tribal registration and the IRS and a trust fund. Since it involves the government, you can just imagine the bullshit, red tape and headache we are going through.
Does Mom know anything? Nooo…! Should this have been handled 5 years ago BEFORE he turned 18? Yes….! Did anyone listen to me? NO!!!
Mom is an uneducated moron.
Mom is sitting here saying “I told you so!”
Mom is ready to throw her hands in the air (and wave them like she just don’t care!)
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