Another year has come to an end and I for one am glad to see it go.

As far as the good…We spent some pretty cool family time. We had not one, but two awesome vacations. We saw Cheech and Chong. The boys got to see the Phillies win the Championship and the Eagles make it to the playoffs. We had a birth in the family and a few wonderful family party gatherings. I got to meet some of you face to face. (For me, this was the best part of the year!)

As for the bad… We lost my FIL, and a good friend. Work is tight, but I think we’ll survive. I can think of more than a few others who can fill this section with much, much more. All in all, I got off easy.

And then there is the ugly…My sister and I are still on the outs although it is a fragile detente. I would like to see things change, but since it has been this way for the past few years, I am not hopeful. My back is still an ugly issue but I hope this will come to an end soon too. Yet again, I am glad that this is only as bad as it is.

To those who have a lot of ‘goods’, thank your lucky stars. Be grateful because our fortunes hang on a delicate thread that can break on a whim of fate. Gather your joys so that they can carry you through the tough times.

To those who have the ‘bads’ and ‘uglys’ full, I hope 2009 brings you relief, resolution, or comfort. This is the time for us to be optimistic. The new year is here, a clean slate full of promise.

It is up to us to fill it with hope.

What is it that I am feeling? My head doesn’t hurt …..technically. It feels like I have a tight hat on, squeezing my nugget. My ears are hypersensitive right now too. I have three kids here with me today  and they are actually quite good. The legos have come out to play. They played a board game and did a few ’seek-n-find’s. We watched “Wall*e” (ugh!) But for some reason, just the sound of their voices and their laughter are like the grating of nails on a blackboard.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I only had three hours of sleep last night.

I was exhausted and I knew that if I had gone to bed at seven, I would have gotten up at ten and not been able to go back to sleep. So I stayed awake and watched “The Thirteenth Warrior” with Hubs. We went to bed at one and I tossed and turned. I looked at the clock at two and I was still awake when Son2 came home from work at two thirty.

Finally, I slept. Hubs’ alarm went off at six and Bandit was ready to go out. I was up for the day. J got dropped off shortly after six. She went to sleep on my chair so I nodded in and out of sleep until Alex and her brother came at eight.

I feel kinda wired. It’s the type of feeling I get when the crash is coming. I get that sudden burst of energy,  my hands twitchy from caffeine.The kids are here for one more hour. I have to fix dinner but that’s no big deal. I think tonight I will sleep as soon as I crash. If I wake up at three, so be it.

I hate when my sleep rhythm gets screwed up.

I was asked “What is it with you and sleep?” My answer was that if you are deprived of something, it becomes the thing that you crave. I love my sleep. I love that feeling of lying on crisp, fresh-smelling sheets. I love the weight of the blankets upon me. I love the feeling I get of falling ever so gently….getting drawn into the darkness…..the peace …the oblivion…………..

Now that the holidays have passed, things are starting to return to normal. Hubs and Son1 have returned to work. Son2 is home in his bed every night. Babygirl is hasn’t returned to school, but all in all, it’s back to the routine.

I did enjoy sleeping in. Now I’m crawling out of bed and groping my way to the coffee pot. I enjoyed playing with Bandit and having him cuddled up beside me. I liked sitting to watch a movie without regarding whether or not a child was in the room. Now, I’m doing laundry, cooking dinners and watching kids again.

I wasn’t the only one who had their routine interrupted. I’m sure all of you did too, in some way or another. My friend Lostmahead also had things change. She worked extra hours to make money for gifts and so that she could afford to take off for a day or two if she chose to. This meant that she sacrificed time. Time spent with her family.

Time spent with me.

You see, we try to spend an hour or two together once or twice a week. We discuss our jobs, our families, our husbands and the idiots we come in contact with during the day. We have a nice cup of tea and sometimes we have a lunch of warmed up leftovers. It is time spent with another adult.

I missed it terribly.

Lostmahead came over today. We had our tea and conversation. We heard about each other’s holidays. We exchanged Christmas gifts.

But the gift I loved the most was not the set of kitchen towels.

It was the gift of her friendship.

Yesterday, Hubs and I went to BB to get a refund on my laptop. (It was $150 cheaper the week after we bought it) We walked in and the lines inside the store were unbelievable! People were there to exchange gifts and to redeem their gift cards and to take advantage of the awesome sales. Hubs and I made our way to the customer service desk and got in line.

Immediately behind us, a young African American girl got in line (I’ll call her Sweetie). She was holding a large box containing the new laptop that her mother was surprising her with. Ahead of us stood a man I will call Douche. Douche stood with someone that he knew and he was spouting his opinions quite loudly. His poor friend could only nod. There were no breaks for him to speak.

Soon a mom got in line with her demons children. They climbed the ropes and pulled on the woman’s arms and she could only sigh with tiredness. Sweetie moved back and told the mom to take her place in line. This happened again with a man whose leg was in a cast. All the while, Sweetie held her heavy box tight in her arms. When the man protested, she replied, “I came here to buy headphones with my mama and instead she told me to choose a laptop. I really need one for school and I was surprised. Right now, I could stand in line all day and smile the whole time, that’s how happy I am!”

Hearing that, I smiled for her.

Meanwhile, Douche was explaining why rap music would never last in history. He declared that “none of the rap or R&B performers had any talent. Why didn’t they go back to shooting each other in the street?” I started to say something but Hubs held me back (He hates confrontation) I seethed while holding my tongue. Sweetie wasn’t the only African American nearby. All looked at Douche with disgust while he opened his ass mouth.

His turn came and he began to aim his venom at the poor girl at the counter who tried to tell him that he was trying to make a return with the wrong receipt. (Of course, HE couldn’t be wrong!) His friend shook his hand as he was leaving the store. Douche turned to his wife (sister,girlfriend,whatever) and said “Oh I can’t stand him! He’s such an asshole!”

It takes one to know one.

This episode stayed with me all day.I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand how someone can be so oblivious to their surroundings. How can they say such hateful things during the holiday season while surrounded by strangers? At the other end of the spectrum, there was Sweetie, with her beautiful smile bursting with happiness.

I guess her smile was there to cancel out the ugliness.

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Just a quick note…our friend Trukindog has a pooch that wants to be part of Spike’s pack, so go here and vote for Jesse!

Okay! Now I am rested and not hung over. I am a little achy but it’s nothing that half a perc can’t handle. So, do you want to hear about my day?

First of all, this was the first year that we didn’t get up before nine. My kids are old enough to sleep in. I was sleeping on the couch when Son1 came down the stairs like a child. “Mommy!! Wake up! It’s Mismis!!” (What a doofus!) He was followed by his brother and sister all smiling and ready to go. We all got our coffee and settled down to our presents.

I was excited to give Hubs his gift. He gave us not a single suggestion for a gift and it made things very stressful for me. I am not the most creative person when it comes to gifts. I asked for ideas and he just shrugged his shoulders. Finally, one day I searched for something in my room and came upon the box containing his father’s funeral flag. It was folded up and packed in a box just sitting on the bottom of the closet. I got the idea to get a storage case for it. Babygirl picked one up for me and together we ironed and folded the flag. It was HUGE. It took us quite a while but we managed. When Hubs saw a triangle-shaped package with his name on it, he looked quite puzzled. But when he opened it, he smiled. I don’t know if the kids noticed it, but I saw that his eyes watered up and I knew that my idea had been a good one.

Then it was my turn. There was a large box that I was told to open. It was a flat monitor. I was thrilled because the monitor on our computer is huge and weighs about thirty pounds. It is so old but has been rebuilt by a friend. The new one is sleek and sexy. This was enough to make me very happy. But my gifts weren’t finished yet. I got some clothes and some good-smellers. And then once more there was a large box with my name on it. Hmm….what could this be???

 THIS IS MINE!!!!!!!

This is the surprise that requires me to give Hubs lots and lots of secks. LOTS of secks. This is why my back hurts. That’s okay because his does too and at least he is sharing his meds because I’m all out! I played with my new friend enough to do yesterday’s quick post and to visit on Facebook. Today, as you can tell, I can add the pictures. I hope to figure out how to hook up my camera to show you more. My task for today and tomorrow is to clean up my blogroll and transfer a few details…if Hubs will only give up the big computer for a few minutes. Now that I’m no longer there, he has disappeared into the den himself. Maybe I can talk him into blogging too! Or maybe not….he’d probably just blog lies about how horrible his wife is and how much she nags him and how much of a bitch she is. You know how men can be……LIARS!  Oh, but not you men out there in the blogosphere……I know you are all honest and loving and ……Yeah, right!

Last night we saw my family and it wasn’t as horrible as it could have been. My brother told me that it meant alot to him that I talked to him for his birthday because no one else remembered. I almost cried. My sister was sober. Her ‘assfriend’ was there but I ignored him.

I gave my three-year-old nephew two huge Tonka trucks because he was my Pollyanna. He yelled out,”A FUCKIN TRUCKIN!!” My brother said he yelled “A dumpin truckin” but we all know what we heard. He was so excited and for this particular nephew to be loud was a big deal. He is extremely shy and quiet and we barely hear him. This was the height of my holiday.

We came home late. We were tired and toasted. So we put on our thick, warm pajamas, made a few drinks and got toasty in the quiet house. Somewhere along the line, we ended up in bed….

and that is all the details you are going to get, because if I told you more, this would be a porn site.

OMG!! I am so fucking happy!

I got a new toy and I am learning how to use it. This is a test post without pictures or detals. When I have time to read the instruction manual ( without being too hungover to see the small print!) I’ll tell everyone all about it. Let’s  just say that I got my Christmas wishes fulfilled…so far. We’ll see what happens when I see my sister and my family tonight!

Last night Hub’s family was here and we had a blast. Most of the ones who were parents left early to play “Santa” but we still managed to have company until midnight. I tried a recipe for Margheritas (which was awesome) and when that ran out I just had a several shots of tequila. Little ones ran hither and yon in my house and ended up playing with play-doh and legos on my bed. My sisters-in-law thought I was crazy to allow that, but the kids were great and no messes or damage was done. (that I have found so far!)

My  kids were happy with their gifts. Everyone got what they asked for. And when it comes to shopping for each other, they really seem to know each other well. The gifts they got suited their personalities well and they got presents that I would have never considered. When it came to clothing, they never asked me for each other’s sizes, and yet everything was perfect!

Well, that’s all I’ve got, so I’m going back to the manual. I need to learn how to get better at surfing and using this mouse pad thingy. I’ll catch up with y’all later.

Have an awesome day!

MUAH!! 

After all these years, I have just learned that alot of the holiday preparations depend on me. Normally I don’t mind. I take on these tasks joyfully. This year, however, I am having a bit of trouble with it all.

I usually start my decorating and cards and shopping right after Halloween. This year, I was busy getting shots in my back. Not to worry. I told myself that I wouldn’t be so achy afterwards and then I’d be ready to kick ass and do it all.

That didn’t happen. I’ve been sore. I’ve had babies. This means that I put things off. I would get done whatever I could during the weekend. (This translates to “Hubs was home and I did diddlysquat”.)

Last week I had no kids. I began wrapping the presents. When I got tired of that, I started painting a cabinet in my bathroom and some baseboards. I was decorating. I was rearranging furniture. I was busy! In between all of that, I shopped some more with Hubs. He must have really worked hard driving the car and pulling out cash to pay because once we got home, he had to lay on the couch. Poor bastard.

Of course all of my regular wifely duties were done too. I did laundry. I took out the dog and fed him. I vacuumed. I made my bed. I was Wonder Woman!!

Yesterday, I blew out my back and lost a day of productivity because I was drugged and in bed watching “The Incredibles” It must have helped because I awoke with my back feeling much better. I finished the last of the wrapping and I will be decorating the tree soon.

I will not bitch at Hubs. I’m not allowed to.

He got me something ( okay, some thingS) that I really, really, really wanted and that cost some bucks. I owe him big. I owe him secks….

Lots and lots of secks……

So my friends, I will be away till after the holidays. I hope you all have wonderful times with whomever you choose to be with. I wish you no drama, no tears, and no flu. I wish you lots of laughter, lots of wine, and lots of love.

Lots and lots and lots of love (and secks)!!!!

This post originally ran last December 8th. Since this is precisely what I am doing today and tomorrow, I think it is appropriate to run it again.

Wrapping-Not Rapping

I’m knee-deep in paper, my house is a mess.

Boxes and bows and tissues make stress.

Today I am wrapping,

I wish I was napping

But enjoy it? I do! I confess.

I want to bake cookies, If I have the time.

(At one time I could do it-way back in my prime!)

But I fear not today,

The time’s slipping away.

While I sit here just trying to rhyme!

Tonight we will look for a tree

My Hubs, Babygirl and me.

I’ll be decking the halls

and hanging some balls

That’s my day and it’s full as you see!

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Today’s lucky interviewee is Rachel at Libragirl. Go find out about her tattoos and alleged drug use!

So Monday I went to the doctor’s office with Hubs for our follow-up visit. I have had only minimal relief from the shot series. Hubs is also faring little better. This means we move on to the next level.

Just after New Year’s we will both undergo a Rhizotomy. This is a procedure that will cauterize the troublesome nerve endings in the lower back. Hubs has had this before and was pain-free for two and a half years. This is the first time for me and I am scared out of my mind.

You see, the procedure is done like this: I am on my stomach in the OR and I will be put to sleep. The doctor will place needles in the general area of the nerves along one side of the spine. And then…ready for this?….HE WAKES ME UP!!!  You read that right! That’s the time we play a game called “Does this hurt? How bout now?” He will very gently move those needles until he can find the troublesome nerve and re-create the back pain that I get. When we find it, he will put me back to sleep and burn the endings of those nerves.

Hubs has already told me that this is very painful. He also said that sometimes it makes your legs and back spasm (during the procedure) But Hubs has a high tolerance for pain. I DO NOT!!!  I like my drugs for a reason!

So you can see why I am scared. But I am looking forward to being pain-free afterward. You may wonder why Hubs needs this again. Unfortunately, nerves are tricky little devils and they tend to grow back. But two and a half years is a lifetime for me where pain is concerned and if I don’t need the meds for that long, I’ll be a big girl and suck it up.

The doctor and Hubs both knew it would come to this point. But our insurance wouldn’t let us skip to the end. We have to do a series of cortisone shots and then a series of shots directly into the space between the discs. That is eight procedures! And now this ( but this will happen twice-once down the left and once down the right) And the procedure that would alleviate ALL of this isn’t covered by the insurance at all yet! I don’t understand why the companies will pay out for all this shit and the pain meds when I could get one procedure and not need anything else?

Oh and?…The first treatment will be…..JANUARY 2!!!!  What a way to ring in the new year! I can hardly wait!

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I am playing David Frost to Giggle Pixie’s Nixon today. With my insightful questioning, we get to the root of what really makes her tick….or at least why she won’t use public restrooms!!   Go check it out!