There are so many memes out there. We’ve seen them on other people’s blogs and Facebook. We’ve all been tagged time and again. But how do we really feel about them?

I may see one posted on someone’s blog and think, “Oh no. Here it comes.” I read them. I laugh at the answers. I agree with what many of you say. And then I wait.

I wait for the inevitable tag.

I get tagged by this one and that one and I sigh and I think “I hate this!” And then I procrastinate. I put it off because I have other posts already written. I put if off because I am busy or because looking at all those questions simply overwhelm me. I start to think “If I post this, I’ll have to tag someone and everyone hates them!” I also think, ” I’ll be jumping on the bandwagon and I’m not a follower”.

And while I procrastinate, everyone is getting theirs done and posted.

Eventually, I have nothing new to say. Nothing new is going on in my life. I have no new post. But I have a meme filed away.

And I give in. I respond. I have a good time doing it. I’m glad I was tagged. It gives me post fodder.

But I won’t tag anymore. Why? Because after reading so many responses, I can’t remember who among us has done them! I know that there are so many of us out there who say, “I hate those things. I won’t do a meme” and yet….given a dry patch…..we reach into the well….

So…..be honest. How do you feel about memes? Do you like to read them? Do you like to answer them?

Shortly after I published yesterday’s post, I got a phone call from one of my favorite nieces, Donna.*

“Aunt C ? Are you busy tomorrow? I was called into work and I wondered if you could watch Noah for me?”

Can I watch Noah??? Hellz yeah! You see, Noah is the cutest little four month old that I know. I haven’t seen very much of him and this was my chance to cuddle, kiss and hug something that wasn’t going to lick my face or hump my leg! Not only that, but he would be a welcome distraction to my current boredom.

At 7am he got dropped off. He smiled, cooed, farted, and played the day away. I’ve never had such a pleasant baby.

At noon, Lostmahead stopped in for tea. She too had a chance to cuddle. (Hey, I share!) As she was holding Noah, I noticed that he looked very familiar….like a photograph I had seen before. It took me a second of trying to imagine his face in a frame of some kind but it wasn’t coming to me…..until…..I noticed that he looked like my own son!

I wear a locket with pictures of Sons 1 and 2. Noah looked just like Son1!

The more I looked at Noah, I noticed more than just a resemblance to my son, however. In his profile, he looked just like his dad. When he smiled, he looked like his mom when she was a baby.(Back when I babysat her) While he slept, he looked like Donna’s brother. While pooping, like my SIL when she doesn’t agree with me.

It’s been a long time since I was holding a new member of the family…on either side. I can’t remember the last time I noticed all the family genes in just one little child. It was nice to notice that when I looked into his eyes as he was drinking his bottle, I could see my FIL, his great-grandfather.

It was a moment of wonder to realize that the family ties are still strong and that they still run deep.

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* Why is Donna one of my favorite nieces? Her birthday is the same day as mine, February 12. Notice, I said “one” of my favorite nieces. That is because Donna and I share our birthday with my other niece, Sabrina. How’s that for a “family tie”!!

We’ve all heard the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” How often is that true for you?

I think of it alot lately.

When I babysit, and I have kids running around crying or stinking, I think of the moms who send their kids off to school everyday. They count on the time without them to do laundry, clean their houses, grocery shop, hell, even to just shower, shave their legs or take an uninterrupted shit! But they are in a quiet house and that’s where I wish to be for that one day.

Moms show up here to spend a stolen minute or two while their baby is napping, eager to hear the ‘voice’ of another grown-up, eager to live vicariously through another’s eyes. These days when I have no kids here, I bitch about being bored. All of my laundry is finished. I am surfing the internet, watching saved television shows or maybe a ‘real’ movie (not some animation-of-the-moment) They read my posts and that’s where they wish to be for that one day.

I wish I was you. ..going to a job every day. I wish I was you. ..cleaning up toys and tiny fingerprints, just being busy.

You wish you were me….polishing my nails, or plucking my eyebrows. You wish you were me….having quiet to read a book or take a nap.

But if the roles actually were reversed, would you eventually get tired of the quiet? Would you wish someone would come home so you’d have someone to talk to? Would you look at a pile of videos or a pile of books and think “God I am still bored” ?

Would I tire of going to a job every day that I have grown to hate? Would I tire of seeing the sneakers on the floor and the sandwich under the couch?

Yeah, the grass is always greener.

Everyone loses a day here or there. “Oh really? It’s only Tuesday?”  “OMG! I have doctor’s appointment! I thought it was tomorrow!” It’s normal and it happens to us all.

I’ve lost a week.

I have been on my toes to remember Lostmahead’s birthday. On Friday. Of THIS week, not last week. As the week moved on, I was antsy to get out and get her gift. I had ten days ahead of me. There was no rush.

I made appointments for Hubs and Son1–for Friday, the 23rd–except I said “Friday, the 28th” (Which is Wednesday)  I still thought it was a week later. It got me into trouble with my kid. Son1 arranged to take off work on the 28th. Since he would be home, his girl Shenanigans made doctor appointments for herself and her daughter (she doesn’t drive) When I reminded Son1 about Friday, he freaked! I don’t blame him. The only reason I had made the appointment for him in the first place, was because he and Hubs would be seeing the same guy. Needless to say, I won’t make any more dates for him.

I am reminding Hubs about the car, house and business payments that are due this week……not.

It is a pain in the ass. As soon as I say it out loud, I suddenly realize that I’ve done it again. Is it old age? Shut the fuck up!! I am not that old….yet! Is it early onset Alzheimer’s?? Son2 likes to bust my chops that it’s exactly that.

My theory is that while I was sedated for my back procedure, an elaborate prank was played. The world got together and said,”Hey! Let’s fuck with Metalmom and pretend last week never happened! We all get a ‘do over’ and she will think she’s lost her mind! Whattayasay? ”

Well, ha ha ha….great trick everybody. You got me good. Oh! I’m laughing at it. I’m a sport. Woo, that was a good one!

Okay, joke’s over. Really. You can stop now. Gimme back my week.

I’m screaming at the television again. That guy Rod Blagojevich is just pissing me off and he’s not even talking to me!!

I never used to follow politics until maybe 4-5 years ago. Now I try to catch Meet the Press, Face the Nation and Inside Washington as much as I can. This annoys Hubs because I yell, I curse, and I give myself a headache listening to some of the idiotic ideas that are discussed.

Well, it’s not the weekend. It’s not night either. It’s 11am and guess what’s on? THE VIEW.

Why do I even have this dreck on? I was watching Rachel Ray, that’s why. I was too lazy to change the channel. Then I look up and Blago is being interviewed by “Barbara in a box” (Barbara Walters was in Claifornia and doing the interview remotely)

I have to give BW props for trying to get an answer–ANY answer–out of him. But it seemed that all this tool could say was “Wah! They won’t let my witnesses testify!”

“Did you really say what was on the tape?”  “If I could call witnesses, they would prove my innocence!”

“Why did you try to sell Obama’s position?”  “My witnesses could  tell you that I didn’t”

“Is it true that you considered Oprah Winfrey for the position?”  “She’s a powerful woman and my witnesses could have told you that.”

Blah blah witnesses blah blah wah, I’m innocent! Ask my buddies! Wah wah, blah, blah WITNESSES!! 

Why can’t these interviewers–even Barbara Walters–say “Um…yeah, we heard you THE FIRST SEVENTEEN TIMES! Say it once more and this interview is finished!”? It made her look less than professional as she simply repeated the same question over and over. He merely repeated his asinine mantra and instead of learning anything new, instead of hearing any part of his side of the story the viewing public was treated to juvenile antics amounting to nothing more than “Did not! Did not! Lalalala! I can’t hear you!” 

I want….. to eat.

This is very different from saying “I am hungry”. The truth is that I am not hungry. This totally sucks. I want…something. I don’t know what.

Usually, I have a craving. Milk, yogurt, ice cream or cheese cravings signal a need for more dairy in my diet. If I want fruit salad or a regular salad, it usually signals to me that I haven’t been eating enough vegetables. The same with bread or cereal.(Lack of fiber) My cravings are usually very easy to read. And they normally are accurate about what my diet is lacking.

Except today. I want……I don’t know.

I went out for breakfast today. I had a huge Belgian waffle with fresh, warm blueberries. I had a small bowl of cottage cheese. I had a well-rounded meal. However, 2 short hours later, I wanted ’something’.

You wanna know what else I noticed? I am bored. This is not good. ‘Boredom eating’ is treacherous to me. I am bored frequently in the winter. *Sigh* Not good.

I’ve been food shopping. I have a variety of chips, crisps and crackers. I have a box of chocolates. I have apples, oranges and grapefruit in the house. I have sherbet in the freezer.

I want………none of the above.

It might be a texture thing. I need to chew. Like a hoagie or a steak. Like a chocolate cake. Like strawberry pie. Like a bag full of Skittles. Like pepperoni and cheese. Like  a bowl of buttery popcorn….

I want…….this craving to pass!

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Speaking of I want…

I want to wish Adam a very happy birthday with many more to follow.

May you have one wish come true for every hair on your entire body. That’s alot of wishes!! 

I have been tagged by jGrrl. I wanted to call her a bitch for doing it but……having nothing else to blog about, I am forced to say thanks for giving me something to post about!

List 10 honest things about yourself – and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!  Then tag 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap. Simple. Or not.

I have seen this around and can’t remember who has done it already. So if you haven’t been tagged, grab this baby and do it!

1. I’ve always been very good at spelling. I was in a spelling bee in sixth grade and crashed and burned on the first word…..AGENDA. I knew how to spell it, but when I said it out loud, I called the “G” a “J”. This is something I continue to do when I spell aloud. I don’t know why.

2.  I  have a “black thumb”. I love plants to look at and to smell. I like the calm I get from weeding or repotting. However, I kill everything….even cacti and ferns. I seriously need a ‘resurrection’ plant.

3.  I like liver. I like liver with fried onions. I like liverwurst. I like pate. I LIKE LIVER!

4.  I spent two weeks of every summer with my Grandmother until the age of 17. Then I got married. I have seen my grandmom maybe 10 times since 1980 even though she lives half an hour away from me. Now she is 94 and she doesn’t know me.

5.  When I was 13, I heard my parents come home from a night of drinking. After the babysitter left, I heard an argument and a bang. I don’t remember anything else but I went back to sleep. The next day, my mom had her jaw wired shut because it was broken. So was the back door. The story is that she had fallen and caught the doorknob.  I used to wonder, but as an adult and seeing how my parents are when they are together, I believe that she really DID fall.

6.  When I was in the 8th grade, the pope celebrated a Youth Mass in our city. My godmother bought me a beautiful outfit (dress slacks, top, and wrap-around sweater).  I outgrew the pants and the shirt finally got too thin to wear by 11th grade. I still have the sweater and I can take it out and it still fits.

7.  I have a collection of teapots. I don’t know how it started. When my MIL died, her daughters didn’t want a cream and red ceramic teapot with a warmer. So they tossed it to me. At first I thought it was crappy but after moving it while cleaning to a spot on my china cabinet, I realized it was beautiful and now I cherish it. Since my best friend and I have tea often, my mom gave me a fine porcelain set and I also have a set of 3″ tall tea pots in my knick knack shelf.

8.  I have seen just about every Clint Eastwood movie except for “Gran Torino” and “Million Dollar Baby”

9.  I consider Joslyn’s grandmother to be a friend….just not a close friend. When she got remarried, her honeymoon was in Jamaica. During this important time of her life, she found a driftwood sculpture of a lizard and brought it home for me along with two thimbles for my thimble collection. I was amazed that she thought of me at all!

10. I went on one blind date. He was oriental, spoke crappy English, was a disco dweeb and was 6″ shorter than I was. We went out on a double date with my girlfriend and her guy and after dinner he tried to grope me. I kneed him in his tiny dick. I never went on a blind date again and I never forgave my girlfriend for that. I still bust her chops about it.

I have Tupperware. Really, girls, who doesn’t? Oh, it may be called ‘Rubbermaid’ or ‘ZipLock Storage containers’. Whatever. It’s for your leftovers.

I have very little storage in my closet-disguised-as-a-kitchen. I need storage for all of my appliances because I have zero counter space. This means that one of my lower cabinets is for my Tupperware as well as my pitchers, microwave accessories and my toaster oven. I try my best to keep it organized. However….

Sometimes, I am forced to ask one of my kids to help clear up the leftovers. As any mom knows, this means that they will grab the container on the bottom. It is undoubtedly the largest one and even though it is only going to be filled a small serving of mashed potatoes, they will use the gallon size container. Will they put the stack back into the cabinet neatly? NOOOO! Usually they just toss them in willy-nilly.

When the cabinet is neat, something is piled on the toaster oven. I usually take everything out in one smooth movement and put it back that way as well. It doesn’t make a mess that way.

Not Hubs. He ‘helped’ me by putting away the toaster oven.

ON TOP OF THE CONTAINERS.

When they began to tumble out of the cabinet, he tried to slam the door shut real fast so they wouldn’t fall out. But he wasn’t fast enough. Out they tumbled. And they separated into a few shorter stacks and rolled across the floor.

“WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ALL THIS SHIT??”

“Well, because I use them…for leftovers. Leave it alone. I’ll get it.”

*Slamming shit and throwing shit* “BUT WHY DO YOU NEED SO MUCH???”

“I use all of them at one time or another and sometimes, I still run out. Now, get away and let me fix this.”

*More slamming and he’s still in my way*

Then…the unthinkable…

He started throwing some away!!!

“Get the fuck out of my kitchen now! Jesus! Just leave it alone!!!!”

Finally, he stomped away, muttering something about a ‘crazy-ass wife who keeps all kinds of shit no person needs.’

The only man I want in my kitchen is an Iron Chef.

I hate the cold. Not just this year with it’s unholy blasts of arctic winds, but every year. It is a standing joke among my family and friends that I “stop going out in November and stay in until May”

This isn’t far from the truth.

When I have little ones here, I don’t go out. Because I don’t drive, it is a pain in the ass to dress them in layer upon layer only for them to cry about having to pee or crying because their diaper has suddenly filled with shit. Then I have to peel them out of those clothes to remedy those situations. Sometimes young moms forget that their kids aren’t going to be in their stifling hot cars all day and they will need a coat or a hat or gloves. (Yes, I have had kids dropped off in blanket sleepers, a onesie and little else…in January)

I hate the ice. If it is icy, I am afraid of falling while out walking. You see, my middle name is not Grace so this is more than just a possibility. I have broken more than a few bones in my life and I am fearful of slipping and breaking a wrist or ankle.

I hate the wind. Because of my back, if my shirt isn’t tucked into my jeans, I risk having a stray breeze blowing up into my jacket and causing spasms in my lower back. They can make me stand still on the sidewalk gasping to catch my breath in their intensity.

Yet there is something exhilarating about feeling a crisp wind blowing redness into my cheeks. To borrow a phrase from Fantastagirl’s daughter Tink, “my boogers will freeze”….or at least the nose hairs will. I like sweeping snow from my steps and the front walkway. (Not shoveling….sweeping!) I love the feeling of snowflakes falling gently on my face. I love the muffled silence that it brings.

The cold also means snuggling up in fluffy jammies or cozy sweats under a crocheted blanket on the couch. It means a mug of hot cocoa with the little marshmallows melting on the top. It means the smell of a nice stew or a pot of soup cooking on the stove for dinner.

It is the second part of my feelings that I must keep secret, hidden from my family. If they knew that I liked sweeping the snow, it would become my new job. If they knew that I liked lying on the couch, they would stop believing me when I say that I’m only lying there because I have a headache or cramps. (teehee)

Just don’t tell anyone, ‘kay?

Dear Mr Obama,

Now that all of the hoopla has come to an end, it is time to get down to business. I would never presume to tell you how to do your job. I just want you to know what impacts me, personally.

Remember that bailouts haven’t done diddly to ease up the recession. Whatever course you choose, please make ‘big business’ accountable for their actions just like everyone else. They have made it far too difficult for folks like my Hubs to keep honest, hard working people employed. We simply can’t afford to pay them or keep up their insurance.

I understand that research is necessary to find solutions to things like the depletion of the ozone layer,  overpopulation and fuel resources. But don’t just throw money at them. I could have done without the knowledge that “cows fart methane and it is helping the hole in the ozone layer to grow.” Make sure that the research isn’t just a means to keep a science department in business.

I understand the need for unemployment benefits and welfare. But please find a way to identify those who abuse the system. I have seen too many instances of girls having babies just to keep getting WIC and welfare. Make drug testing a requirement for getting these benefits. Maybe it will weed out some of the losers who are living off of our hard-earned money.

If we must keep up a military presence in other countries, make sure that we aren’t doing it to promote our own agendas. These are other countries, not ours. They have been raised differently. They have different ideals and beliefs. Having spent time in other countries, you know first hand that this is true. If a country doesn’t want us there, don’t send those young men and women into a hostile environment.

Please make health care one of your priorities. I have two parents who aren’t getting any younger. I may be called upon to care for them. My husband and I are just recovering from our own health issues. One of my sons isn’t employed right now and paying out of pocket costs is impossible for him. God help us if we lose what little insurance we have.

I know that there are many other issues on your plate. I know that others are worse off than I am and they have concerns of their own. This is just what I think about the most….as a wife, as a mother, and as a citizen.

May God give you the strength to do your job to the best of your abilities. May He give you the wisdom to choose the path that we as a nation need to follow. May He give you the courage to stand up for your convictions. And may He give Michele the steel needed to be the wife of the President of the United States.

Sincerely,

Metalmom