Minnesota- Bitterly cold. Abundant sunshine. High around -5F. Winds WNW at 5 to 10 mph.
I thought that was pretty damn cold. Just trying to imagine it made my joints ache. So I looked around the internet to see what everyone else was getting.
Chicago- Bitterly cold. Intervals of clouds and sunshine. Dangerous wind chills may approach -25F. High near 0F. Winds WNW at 15 to 25 mph
-25?? Jeez!! Do I consider that to be ‘bitterly cold’? Oh, hell, no! I think that qualifies as ‘fucking cold’! Then I tried to think about a place that would be colder than that. Hmm….Maybe Alaska?
Anchorage, Alaska- Rain and snow showers in the morning. The rain and snow will change to rain showers in the afternoon. Temps nearly steady in the mid 30s. Winds ESE at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of precip 60%.
MID 30s!!! Did someone forget to send Alaska the memo stating that it was WINTER?? Where do they get off being warmer than Chicago? After I recovered from my surprise, I turned on the television to see what was happening in my neck of the woods
Philadelphia,PA-Sunny to partly cloudy. Colder. High around 25F. Winds WNW at 10 to 20 mph.
The weatherman tossed around words like “bitter winter weather”, “freezing conditions”, and my favorite- “dangerously cold”. For 25 degrees? I don’t think so. In my opinion, it’s cold. But is it ‘dangerous’? Nah! Compared to Chicago, it’s damn near summertime!
Why do they hype this shit up? Why isn’t ‘cold’ acceptable? What words will they use when Philadelphia is covered by ten feet of snow and the wind is blowing forty miles an hour? What new word will describe -30?
I propose “blizzardly freezious”.