In our quest to cut tiny corners in our budget, everyone  is doing their part. Rather than using the name brands of some products, we have begun using the store brand.  I use many more coupons, Babygirl did her own nails and hair for the prom, Hubs has cut back on the snack consumption, and the boys are refilling the gallon water bottles instead of buying a new one every day.

But I expect everyone to help out, and that includes Bandit.

What? you ask. How can a dog cut corners? Lemme tell you.

As a pup, Bandit preferred to chew up hard objects. Baseballs, large beef  bones and “kong” toys were his choice. But when it came to his food, he preferred softer fare. No canned food for him. And even though he really loves the larger “cube” shaped food, we found a happy medium in the stuff that looks like ground meat. This stuff is just a bit pricier so we looked for something different.

We came upon a kibble that we had tried once before. I thought that perhaps he had outgrown his dislike for the harder food.

Nope. He flat out refused to eat it. We let it sit, thinking that if he got hungry enough, he would eat. Nope again. Not wanting to waste the entire bag, I began mixing in some leftover mashed potatoes and gravy. With just a coating  on the kibble, wouldn’t he eat it? I mean how smart can a dog be?

Do you see that????  He licked the potatoes from each piece and kept them out of the bowl! Not only that, but he lined the fuckers up in a row!!!! I would never lie to you guys and you know that. When I saw him do this yesterday, I was amazed. It sat there all day so that as my family came in the door, I could show them. Otherwise, I would have been considered crazy. (No comments from the peanut gallery!)

Like a good housefrau, I cleaned it all up after everyone saw it. And then I immediately regretted it. “Oh, shit! I should have taken a picture and posted about it! Damn.”  My disapppointment was palpable.

Imagine my surprise when it happened again today! This time I was prepared. Now you all have photographic proof.  Damn! I should have made a video!!

There’s always tomorrow. Animal Planet, here comes Bandit!!

Hubs and I had left the house on Sunday morning. Babygirl was home with Son2 who had just gotten out of bed as we were leaving for the shore. They waved goodbye to us, eager to be without adults in house to tell them what to do.

We drove along for about 15 minutes enjoying the sunshine on such a beautiful day. And then my phone rang.

Who could it be? Home? But we just left! What could Son2 want me for so soon? He never calls me for ‘no reason’ so I got a little nervous as I answered the call.

“What’s wrong? Are you both okay?”

“Yeah, mom. Babygirl is in the shower and I’m getting ready to have coffee.”

“So? Why are you calling? What do you need?”

“Um….A bird got into the house. AH!  It’s flying all over!! Whoa!”

“How the hell did that happen?? Get it out before it shits all over!!”

“But mom! Oh, wait. Never mind. It just flew out the door.”

He calmed down enough to tell me that he was sitting on the couch when he heard a little ‘thump’ on the screen. When he looked, he saw nothing, but when he sat back down, he saw the bird take a circle in the living room. He followed as it flew into the kitchen and made itself comfortable sitting on the edge of an open cabinet door. Of course I laughed at him for being flustered. I made sure he was calmed down enough and then I hung up the phone.

And then it occurred to me.

Why did he call me? I’m afraid of a freaking spider in the corner of my ceiling! What would I do if I saw a bird in my house??

Hey, I was on the highway in another state! What the hell did he expect me to do?  Turn around and come home to help his sorry ass??  He’s twenty-three!!

And the ‘guard dog’?  He went to his bed and locked himself away.

I was up so late on Friday. Drinking and laughing with all of my friends is more taxing on my body now that I am forty-seven of a certain age. I woke up Saturday a mere five hours after changing my blood over to alcohol. Babygirl was going out for the day and I wanted to see her off.  And then I laid on the couch to watch a movie and promptly went back to sleep. I repeated this process twice more before feeling ‘normal’.

Hubs came into the living room, where I sat uploading  pictures of my friends. As I squinted my dry, gritty eyes, he said, “Hey. Wanna go to the shore tomorrow? We can go visit Chris and his wife in Avalon. Maybe we’ll throw caution to the wind and stay overnight”.

We never do anything like that so I agreed.

We woke up early, hastily threw a bag of clothes together, let the kids know our plans, and hit the road. Traffic was light, the sun was bright, and I felt all right! We talked, we sang with the radio, and just enjoyed each other’s company. We got to his friend Chris’ place with no problem but instead of parking the car, we kept on going.

“Hey! That’s his house! What are you doing?”

“I suddenly feel like hanging out alone. Is that okay with you? Let’s drive further, get a room, go out tonight and head home tomorrow.”

I was shocked, but hey, I’m easy. So we went and did exactly that.

By the time we got to the beach we wanted, and checked into our room, I was beginning to get a headache. We decided to lay down and take a nap before going out. Of course, we needed to ‘relax’ properly before sleeping. 

We woke up, showered and dressed to head out to dinner. The entire time it was like we were a young couple on our first trip without the kids! We laughed, walked around the room in various stages of undress, and generally revelled in our ‘alone-ness”

After a great dinner, we went to a club where a band was playing, the people were dancing and the alcohol flowed. OMG!!  I couldn’t believe how fast the drinks hit us, but after only a few, we went back to our room, ‘relaxed’ some more and slept….

….until 4:38am when a car alarm went off in the parking lot below us. Our heads were pounding, the bed was still spinning, and then sleep……

At 7, I got up and got into the shower. But I forgot the body wash. So I used the little 2”x4″  hotel soap, careful to keep it from getting lost  in my creases! Shit! I also forgot the shampoo! The hairspray from the night before made a waterproof coating on my hair that the hotel soap just couldn’t penetrate. My hair felt awful and I panicked thinking that I would have to go out looking like Medusa! I came out the bathroom and spotted dish washing liquid on the little kitchen sink.

“It can cut grease, so maybe it can cut through this goop on my head”

So I used it. At first it didn’t lather and I thought “Oh great. This isn’t going to work either”. But it did. I covered my wet hair with a bandana and we had breakfast before heading home.

The humidity got worse the closer we got to home. All along my hairline I could feel the beads of sweat forming. When I started feeling the sweat on my neck, all I could picture was all of that dish detergent foaming where I couldn’t see it.

When I got home, I felt so dirty…….yes because of the dish detergent hair treatment…..and also because I was a “dirty, dirty girl” 

I wish that all of you can have the opportunity to ‘date’ your lover. Be strangers, be virgins, be ‘professionals’….whatever your fantasy….just do it. …on the spur of the moment….

It’s a dream come true.

Just don’t forget your shampoo!

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting with old friends………very old friends. These were the friends that knew me before high school…..before boobs….before my confidence. (I’m talking 33 years ago)

Okay, y’all can stop laughing and shut the fuck up. Please!  Alright, it’s not that funny. Oh, COME ON! Wait until it’s your turn to be this age!!

Anyhoo…..

Thanks to the invention of Facebook, I have become reacquainted with so many friends from grade school. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve also hooked up with my high school friends too. I am still friends with more than a couple of those girls, and we tend to get together now and then, but it is very different from the gang I literally grew up with.

When I see their names come up with ‘friend requests’ , I smile as the memories come flooding back. If you had asked me twenty years ago if I would want to have drinks with some of these girls, I might have hesitated in answering you. Now, I will jump at the chance. One of us observed that when we receive ‘friend requests’ from high school friends, we sometimes hesitate as we consider whether or not to reconnect with some people. But when the name is someone from grade school, we agree to it immediately– without a moment’s hesitation.

My old friend Donna came to pick me up. We asked about each other’s families and our parents. We wondered what everyone would be like when we met up. A short time later, we entered the restaurant. Sitting at the counter was a girl that I had gone to school with for eight-plus years. We didn’t always travel in the same circles back then, but last night it felt as if we had.  One by one, our group grew larger. We hugged — actually we squeezed– in our joy at seeing each other.

We moved to a dining room that had other couples having dinner. Maybe we should have gone table to table to apologize because as we reminisced, our laughter grew louder and louder!  We passed around our class pictures. We recalled trouble makers, favorite teachers and the nuns who never hesitated to give us a whack with the “Board of Education” when it was required. We remembered those of us who have passed on, and those who were unable to join us.

Some revelations were made. Some of us confessed that we were intimidated by others. Some of the quiet ones became more vocal. The guys who wouldn’t have been caught dead talking to a girl, openly instigated many laughs. I was told by one friend that when she would hang with me, she felt like one of  the “cool kids” because that was her conception of me. (I must admit that I was shocked by this because I had always felt like one of the biggest dorks!)

The time flew by so quickly, and saying goodbye was difficult. But it was late and we were exhausted and, well, damn! We aren’t as young as we used to be!!

It was a night I will always remember and we have every intention of doing this a little more frequently. I hope that those who are out of state will let us know when they are back in the area so we can include them in our shenanigans!

At the end of every day, my husband pulls his work van up the driveway. As soon as he does, Bandit runs to the back door. At the sound of the slamming door, Bandit freaks out, knowing that Hubs will open the back door and let him into the yard and  play with him. He allows Bandit to run wild, chase sticks and jump up on Hubs in joy. It is a ritual that is anticipated by both.

The other day, the truck pulled in and the door slammed. The dog was going crazy, but Hubs didn’t open the back door. Instead, Hubs had run into our neighbor, John, who was in his driveway having a cigarette. The two men talked for awhile and as I looked out the window, both of their heads hung down, sharing some sadness. I assumed that John’s wife had left him. They have been having problems and the “divorce” word has been spoken. I turned away from the window, not wanting to be caught intruding on them.

When Hubs came in, he picked up the routine from where it was left off. He took Bandit out to play but fun time was cut conspicuously short. He came back into the house and sat on the couch beside me and heaved a heavy sigh.

“Did she leave him?” I asked. Hubs replied, “No she didn’t. John lost his job.”

John worked for a large company and made a respectable amount of money. He paid his ex-wife alimony. He has two boys, one in high school and one out, both with cell phones, video games and ipods.  He bought his current wife a new house, in a new neighborhood, and she wanted for nothing. This past winter, John injured his back at work. He spent many weeks receiving disability. Those payments didn’t cover all of his expenses. When he finally returned to work, he got the word that his job had been terminated.

When John and his wife moved into the house across the driveway, I will admit that I was jealous. Hubs and I had looked at the house and found that it was out of our price range. When his wife decided that she was “fat” she got a gastric bypass. Again, I was jealous. To my eyes, she was getting the easy way out of weight loss. When his older son threw a tantrum and didn’t want to live with him anymore, he was given a plane ticket to his mother in California. I thought that it must be nice to have the money available to buy that ticket instead of dealing with a seventeen year old. And when the economy changed, I was jealous that he had a job that seemed so secure when our own seemed to teeter on the edge.

The tables have turned. We  are the ones who are, if not ‘well off’ , are not deeply in debt. Our relationship is strong, and I will stick by Hubs through thick and thin. John cannot say the same. It’s more than possible that he might look out of his window and be jealous of what I have.

I feel a stab of guilt for having felt envious of them. And now I feel a stab of sadness.

There but for the grace of God…..

Late Friday afternoon, I got a phone call from Hubs.

“I just got a call from the limo driver. He’s running a little late but he’ll be there very soon.”

WHAT??  The prom was on Saturday night. We kept forgetting the exact date and I have never quite gotten used to the idea of a prom being on a Saturday night. Did I screw things up?  That is a pricey mistake!  Over $700 pricey!!  I felt like throwing up. I ran to the contract we had signed. No, it wasn’t me!  THANK GOD!  After calling the company, it was cleared up. It was a clerical error on their side. Whew!

Saturday was extremely dark all day. We watched the sky all day waiting for the inevitable downpour that we were sure was coming. Twice during the afternoon, we saw the sky totally clear up and sun peaked through only to be swallowed by clouds again. It was hot and sticky. The humidity was a nightmare. But Babygirl left her hair plain and that turned out to be a wise move. She had no curls to droop or frizz.

The limo finally  came and so did all of the couples. One by one, each princess appeared. Their escorts looked uncomfortable (which was expected.) The sun made a spectacular entrance. I think all of us mothers heaved a huge sigh of relief. We took all of the required photos, both here at my house and then at a rose garden. The group of kids that went to the garden after us was told that they were trespassing so I guess we dodged that bullet!

My little girl went off with her friends and her special fella. She came home with a camera full of pictures, full of stories, and with a head full of memories. After waiting up for her return, I was exhausted.

I locked the door and shut off the outdoor light. I turned off the television and the lamps and I made my way to my room where I finally lay my head on my pillow….and I slept.

I need my rest. We do this again in two weeks for “fella’s” senior prom!

Sunday, May 17 through May 23 is National EMS Week.

My life has been blessed enough that I have never needed to call for emergency aid. Many, many others are not so lucky. But if I did need someone,  no matter the hour, or the weather, an EMT would most likely be dispatched to my home.

These men and women are angels here on earth. I am not saying that they are perfect humans. Far from it. They are very human indeed. They have families. They have responsibilities. They have flaws like everyone else. But when the signal goes out, when someone is in need, all of that is put on a back burner. They focus on the matter at hand.

They see humanity at its worst. The violence, the hatred, death. They also see humanity at its most vulnerable. The injured, the scared, the dying. And they see the families. Mothers crying over their children, children scared because “daddy is hurt” They see these  things and move on. And they carry them in their hearts and heads.

I have the privilege of knowing more than a few of these heroes. Every one will deny that title, but it cannot be changed.

They are heroes. Hug one if you know one and say thank you.

I took this from Finn because I have nothing of interest to blog about today.

8 things I am looking forward to
1. Going to Kentucky in June to see lots of blogger friends
2. Going out with grade school friends for drinks
3. Babygirl’s Junior Prom
4. Babygirl going to the Senior Prom
5. Summer
6. Vacation
7. “Transformers 3″
8. “Where the Wild Things Are”

8 things I did yesterday
1. Showered
2.Vacuumed
3. Cooked dinner
4. Dug through a box of childhood photos
5. Took a walk
6. Danced to Bauhaus “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”
7. Twisted my ankle while dancing
8. Cried while my ankle swelled.

8 things I wish I could do
1. Dance without hurting myself or others
2. Cook
3. Work somewhere interesting
4. Speak Chinese
5. Jump into a mosh pit
6. Lose weight a little faster
7. Travel around more to see friends
8. Take better pictures

8 shows I watch
1. Harper’s Island
2. True Blood
3. Saving Grace
4. Rescue Me
5. Breaking Bad
6. Desperate Housewives
7. Metalocalypse
8. House

8 tags * I’m not tagging anyone but I give you my 8 Favorite things to listen to
1. Rammstein
2.Children of Bodom
3. Korn
4. Kelly Clarkson
5. The Killers
6. Godsmack
7. Aerosmith
8. Rob Zombie

About two months ago, I began making contact with a few grade school buddies. I was in  contact with one who was in touch with a few others and they knew a few others, and so on and so on….like the old shampoo commercial. I eventually found myself back in contact with roughly 3/4 of the entire class of girls. Since we came from a  very large parish, we are talking about 50-60 girls. Before I knew it, the guys started making themselves known. Now we are almost half of the entire class!

My high school was all girls and almost all of us went there. The guys went to the boys school next door. At my 20 year reunion, it was both schools. I was surprised to find myself approached by several of the guys I had gone to grade school with! We had all changed but underneath we were all the same goofy kids we once were. By the end of the night, we made the obligatory “Let’s keep in touch!” and “We really should get together!” , but we never did.

That is changing. This weekend I will be gathering with all the gals. I am so very excited to see them all again. But  to be totally honest I am also a little nervous. Some of these were the “cliques”. I was kind of freaked out to hear from them. They remembered all kinds of things that we had shared as kids, but I remembered the fights, the name calling, the exclusions. On the other hand, there was also the “best friends” that I had spent so many happy times at class picnics, sleepovers, and dances. It is actually the “best friends” that I am particularly  nervous about.

At graduation, we left the cocoon we had inhabited for so many years. We moved on to high school and although we still saw each other every day in the halls or in classes, we could have easily been a million miles apart. We  were separated by new friendships, new clubs, new activities and of course boyfriends. We all did this. It is a normal part of growing up.

So why do I feel guilty?  I don’t remember ever consciously making excuses for not hanging out together but I feel as though I was the one who abandoned these friends. We had simply drifted apart.

Saturday night, I will have the opportunity to ask these girls what happened. I can ask if they feel the same way. And we can make new connections.

It will be like finding a treasure in the attic. I will find an long-forgotten gem. I will dust it off, and place it somewhere that I can enjoy it in my present life.

And it will sparkle.

Thank you, Sam