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You wanna know what’s on my nerves? My parents. More precisely, their lack of logic where cell phones are concerned. Lemme splain….(Go get a cup of coffee, change the baby, grab a pillow, whatever. This might be long….I’ll wait….)
My parents went on vacation for two weeks. They do this every fall. During those two weeks, I leave them alone. My brothers sometimes take their kids and join them for one weekend of fishing. This has been going on for years. A couple of years ago, we got them a cell phone. Just a basic, no bells-and-whistles phone. It gives us peace of mind to know that if they had an emergency, they wouldn’t be stranded.
Flash forward…..
I am in the hospital a few days into their vacation. I don’t know how, but they heard and I got a call from mom.
“Hello? It’s me Mommy. What’s wrong with you?” Just like that. Not an inflection of concern. It was more like I was annoying her or interrupting her vacation. The signal to the hospital was horrible and I blurted out, “I’m going to lose my connection. Hubs will call your cell” . No sooner had I said that, the signal was indeed lost.
We rushed to call her back because if we didn’t….well, you know parents…..! No answer. No voice mail. This number is temporarily unavailable.
Their phone was not on.
Oh well, if I was dying, I’d leave it to my brothers to give them hell for not being at the funeral, you know?
So I got out of the hospital and within a day or two it was like nothing had ever happened. On day three, my youngest brother called.
Our grandmother, Dad’s mom, was in the hospital. She is 93 and, while not sickly, she is frail. Plus, my Aunt Anna who just passed was her eldest daughter. It has taken a toll on her. Anyway, she has a blood clot. It may cause trouble this minute, this week or never. (This is the same thing that killed my aunt very suddenly) But regardless, Dad needs to know. NOW. Because what if…..? My brother is panicked. What if she is dying right now? What do we do??
He came to my house. We called my sister and other brother. They are both at work so we get no response right away. While we wait for them to contact us, my cousin calls to say that Mom-Mom is resting, and stable, but to still come and see her “in case”. My brother said, “That’s it. I know where they are. Let’s drive to the shore and get them” I know this is the only thing that will calm him down so I agree to go. My sis showed up and the three of us hit the road.
We stopped at the hospital, which was midway between home and the shore. Mom-Mom is tired. But she is stable and they will let her go home in a day or two. This calms us down a great deal and since we have seen her and told her how much she is loved, if something-God forbid- should happen, we have seen her. Now Dan is angry. Dad should be there. Why aren’t they answering? We are GOING TO GET HIM. There will be NO DISCUSSION. And so we hit the road yet again.
When we got to the shore, Mom and Dad were surprised to see us. After we tag-team yelled at them, we found out why the phone was off.
When they go out to surf fish, they don’t want it to get wet. So they leave it in the house. They turn off the ringer when they go to bed. They sometimes forget to turn it back on.
I understand that parents get older and they forget things. But if they forgot to pack a sweater, they would turn around and drive back for it. If they were afraid that they left the iron plugged in, they would call one of us or a neighbor to check. But they don’t see the urgency involved in having the cell phone.
While we stayed and had dinner with them, Mom begins telling us ‘a funny story’. While surf fishing, the tide started to come in. So mom moved their bait and cooler back further in the sand. Dad was going to walk back for the rods, but waited for the waves to go out a little more before he got his shoes wet. After a second, they realize that the tide is coming in too fast and the waves won’t be heading out again. Dad wades in to get their rods. And then…..his feet get sucked into the mud. My mom-all five feet of her- wades out to help dad (who is 6’3″) Like she can do anything!! Eventually they get unstuck and look back at their cooler and notice that they are on a tiny mound of sand surrounded by ocean!
They manage to wade in waist-deep water back to the shore but they are soaked in frigid ocean water in the cold October wind.
“Well, we came right home and had coffee and started a fire. I was so happy that we didn’t lose those rods because together, they cost us $125.00! Isn’t that so funny? We had to buy new shoes!! HAHAHA!”
We were dumbfounded. We weren’t laughing.
If they had HAD THEIR FUCKING PHONE, THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CALL FOR HELP IF THEY HAD BEEN REALLY STUCK!!!
Ugh! Well, we were ‘over-reacting’ and our nerves were just frazzled because Mom-Mom was in the hospital.
I don’t think so. When people tell me that as our parents age, they become the children and we become the parents. I always took this to mean that we would take care of their day-to-day needs, clean them when they become incontinent, make sure that they don’t hurt themselves or start a fire. I didn’t know it would include yelling at them for being so thoughtless, so irrresponsible, more interested in getting their fucking fishing rods than getting out of the ocean!
That day was a cruel slap in the face. It was coming down to us to notify my dad that his mother was ill. It meant worrying enough to drive two hours to find them. And it now means that we have to double check on them more. They are not incapacitated in any outward way, but I am afraid that we will have to be on the lookout for the signs. The slip of memory. The lapse of judgement.
*SIGH*
It’s scary when the future is the huge wall that I slam into face first.
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HoosierGirl said:
on November 9, 2009 at 9:19 PMOh wow…I can totally relate. I just recently convinced my parents to keep their cell phones on during the day, instead of just turning them on when THEY need to make a call.
And don’t even get me started about my dad and his memory……This is the guy who used to SCREAM at me about being punctual and doing things correctly. It takes all my willpower not to point out his mistakes in the most vicious of ways.
Your parents sound fun. Of course other people say that about MY parents…..
J.
Metalmom said:
on November 9, 2009 at 9:51 PMHoosierGirl-FUN???? OMG! They actually are alot of fun but they refuse to admit that they are getting older….unless it works to their advantage! This freaked me out far too much because it was such a little thing. What about when it gets to be a big thing??
C.
Tug said:
on November 9, 2009 at 10:35 PMOne thing you always need to remember…PEOPLE LIVED THROUGH A HELLUVA LOT OF SHIT before cell phones. I HATE that my mom freaks out if I’m not answering a phone 24/7. I HATE that I worry about my daughter if she’s not answering hers.
Watch them, but remember that they’ve not always had a cell, so not remembering it isn’t a big deal. Let them live…don’t “overparent” them, just as you didn’t ever want to be over-parented.
((hugs))
Metalmom said:
on November 9, 2009 at 11:03 PMTug-I know that pre-cell eras were harder, but back then, you couldn’t reach people and they died.Only a stink would tip a neighbor off to the neglected person.My parents aren’t that old. Dad is only 17 years older than me! They have grown used to all the other gadgets out there and it seems to me that if they can remember to pin their fishing license to their shirt, then they can remember to put the phone in a pocket! But I do understand what you are saying.
Fantastagirl said:
on November 9, 2009 at 11:36 PMI’m glad Mom-Mom will be okay and is recovering…
That said – I’m also glad that you can’t reach through the computer and smack me…
But I LOVE LOVE LOVE that your parents are fishing in the ocean, having fun and enjoying life! I wish my parents would have some fun once in a while… they could use it!
*Ducking out of the way* Now go turn on your parents cell phone and tell them to answer it!
Robin said:
on November 10, 2009 at 9:44 AMI can totally see my parents changing and it’s freaking me out, how does one deal with not having the big strong “we’ll fix it” parents always there to take care of everything? I can’t take care of shit!
Metalmom said:
on November 10, 2009 at 10:02 AMFantastagirl-I do love the fact that they are happy and healthy enough to enjoy life the way that they do. I truly do not begrudge them that. They have earned that happiness. What I worry about is the fact that they refuse to acknowledge that perhaps fishing ALONE on a deserted stretch of beach was not the wisest thing. If Dad had not been able to get free, I can’t imagine what Mom would have done.They aren’t as young as they used to be-especially physically.
Metalmom said:
on November 10, 2009 at 10:06 AMRobin-It is a little scary when Dad offers advice on some things. He still believes that a person should be trusted on their word and that as a senior citizen, he is entitled to things that he SHOULD be. He doesn’t understand how far the world has changed-not counting technology! If we offer advice to the contrary, we are ‘poo-poo’ed away.
Grant said:
on November 10, 2009 at 10:17 AMYears from now, Babygirl will be writing her own blog post about how you’re stuck in the 2000′s and still have a mobile phone and refuse to have the Internet brain implant like normal people and that even if she gets it for you you’ll just turn it off or ignore it.
Metalmom said:
on November 10, 2009 at 10:26 AMGrant-
You just gave me a reason to be wearing Depends!! Thanks for the laugh today. It was needed!! 
phinz said:
on November 10, 2009 at 2:29 PMAt least your parents will HAVE a cell phone. Mine don’t want them. They both now have one in each of their cars, but only because it came with it. *sigh*
Glad Mom-mom’s doing well.
Thanks for the comment on my blog as well! I’m done interning and have more time now to read & comment!
Metalmom said:
on November 10, 2009 at 7:45 PMPhinz-My parent’s phone has call waiting, texting, voice mail and speed dial–not much more than that.But they still only know how to call and to answer. Oh well..And I’m just getting back to reading and commenting myself so I know what that’s like.
Sybil Law said:
on November 10, 2009 at 7:56 PMParents can be ultra irritating when it comes to technology, for sure. My own dad has all these surgeries coming up (and has had one, already), and while they totally get and use the cell phone… Well, my mom is the idiot who says things to me like, “Oh, you know when so – and – so died”, and I have no clue what she’s talking about. She does that crap ALL THE TIME. She thinks I already know this vital info, but the fact is, I don’t, because she is just now telling me! It irritates me to no end!
I gotta say, though – I mean, I know you were ultra frustrated, and I completely get it, but I agree with Tug a bit – we went eons without cell phones, and they’d have checked their phone eventually, right?
*Ducking*
DutchBitch said:
on November 11, 2009 at 4:08 AMOMG I hear ya! When I really need to reach my Mom on her cellphone it is never on. I can’t seem to explain how she should text or listen to her voicemail, she refuses to even try on the basis of “I am too old for that shit”…
And then when she’s got it on and it’s ringing, she always thinks initially it’s someone else’s phone that is ringing until someone points out it is actually hers (which usually makes her too late and the call has stopped by the time she finds it in her purse and picks up)
Metalmom said:
on November 11, 2009 at 8:51 AMSybilLaw-There has been so many occasions (good ones, too!) that my Mom will say “Oh everyone asked where you were last weekend” Where? At the ______. (You can fill that in with birthday, Christening, anniversary party.) Why didn’t I hear? Because Mom ‘forgot’ to pass on the invitation! I know that technology has made things different from years ago, but we have it and it should be USED!
Metalmom said:
on November 11, 2009 at 8:54 AMDutchBitch-I see older people doing that all.the.time!! And my Dad loves to use the “I’m too old” card alot! But only when it’s in his favor.
Marty said:
on November 13, 2009 at 10:53 PMPerhaps chips can be implanted in parent’s skulls. Sort of like Lo-Jack for old people.
Philly said:
on November 15, 2009 at 7:30 AMWelcome to my world!! Oh girl, this is only the beginning, start stocking up on the alcohol now
Metalmom said:
on November 16, 2009 at 5:53 PMMarty-Put a patent on that idea Marty. You’d be rich and famous!
Metalmom said:
on November 16, 2009 at 5:54 PMPhilly-I have a feeling I will hang out alot with Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Sam Adams!