Monday February 08th 2010, 11:45 AM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,ineptitude,lessons,weather,Winter


It’s Snow Picnic

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Just a few observations…

* You shovel your walk and dig out your car. You put the snow in the street. The plow pushes it back and buries your car. So you dig out your car. You put the snow in the street. The plow pushes…

*If your shovel broke on Saturday or Sunday, GO TO THE FUCKING HOME DEPOT AND BUY A NEW ONE TODAY!!  Don’t wait until Tuesday afternoon when the next storm starts. Oh, and while you’re there? GRAB A GODDAMNED BAG OF SALT!

*The snow comes and everyone runs out and buys up all the milk and bread. If you can’t drive down a street in your little freaking Prius, what makes you think that delivery trucks will be able to fit through? If the cashier says “We have no milk and bread.” Don’t ask if she is hiding some in the back for tomorrow’s shoppers. Yeah, she’s hiding it…..fuck head.

asshat

*If you park your car under a tree or other area in which it is possible that snow will fall on it, turn off your fucking car alarm. If it goes off at three in the morning again, you’d better not let it honk for an hour. If you do, I will pour water over your car doors and windows and your front steps.

*The roads are narrower due to the snow piles. They are narrower for everyone. This means MOVE THE FUCK OVER if you see another car coming. Your Hummer is an asshole’s behemoth. Don’t be so freaking selfish!

*Are you an exerciser? Are you a mom? Stay out of the street! Can you skip the shit for ONE DAY??  Slip on the ice while we are driving and you deserve to be run over. If you have to take the kids out in the stroller, don’t make them a party to your idiocy. I saw cars fishtailing. Who’s to say that one wouldn’t plow into that stroller with your beautiful twins in it?  You don’t know me, but you ruined my day just knowing you were responsible for those little angels.

[BIG INHALE]

 We now return you to your regular blog reading….




10 Comments »

  1. Robin said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 12:50 PM

    It’s fun, isn’t it?

  2. Grant said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 1:34 PM

    Fortunately it doesn’t snow much here, but whenever threatened with snow, Atlantans buy up all the milk, bread, and TP. I guess those milk sandwiches really give people the trots.

  3. Metalmom said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    Robin-This is why I stay indoors. I don’t want to catch the “stupids”. l-)

  4. Metalmom said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    Grant-=)) MILK SANDWICHES!!! :)) That has to be the only explanation!!

  5. Sybil Law said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    I am hoping to get true snowfall so I can bitch, too!!

  6. Metalmom said:

    on February 8, 2010 at 9:37 PM

    SybilLaw-Come on! I know a certain ‘wench’ who will come out to play in the snow with us!! We got pounded with 30″ and it is going to snow on Tuesday afternoon, all night and part of Wednesday…..If you don’t hear from me, send someone to dig me out!!….

  7. Dawn said:

    on February 9, 2010 at 6:48 PM

    Luv it…Luv it…Luv it!!! I’m a snow bunny but in a fun sorta way – not gonna run(not into exercise at all) or drive my butt to the store – what’s on the cupboard and in the fridge is good enough!!! I just wanna get out there with my super cool sled that about 3/4 of my body fits on and SLIDE!!! Then inside for hot cocoa and a fire in the fireplace!!! But OMG – did I laugh at this one cause it’s soooo DANG TRUE!!!!:)):))

  8. Metalmom said:

    on February 9, 2010 at 8:51 PM

    Dawn-These folks drove me up the wall with all their dumbfuckery. Especially JoggerMom. I swear, the next time, I will make a citizen’s arrest and charge her with operating a stroller without a functioning brain!!

  9. HoosierGirl said:

    on February 10, 2010 at 9:38 AM

    Is the snow making someone a little grumpy? I think somebody needs to add some Bailey’s to her hot chocolate.

    J.

  10. Metalmom said:

    on February 10, 2010 at 9:52 AM

    HoosierGirl-I don’t mind the snow per se. It is the stupid-ass motherfuckers that just seem to hide indoors until snow gives them permission to come out of the woodwork! Or maybe they are out there every day, just spread out across the world for everyone’s enjoyment. It’s just that on snow days, they are stuck in their home towns…?

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