Friday April 09th 2010, 9:38 AM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,Grief,ineptitude,kids,owies

Reversal of Fortune

To me she was a job, a few extra bucks, some company during the day.

To mom, she is a precious babe, who needs to be shielded from knowing all the sordid details of her dad and his family.

To dad, she is a link to mom, a pawn in a vicious game that involves innocent kids and not-so-innocent adults.

I went to pick up Mack and found her leaving the school with her Grandmom. I grabbed my cell phone and confronted the woman who was clutching the little girl tightly. Trying hard to stay calm, I called Mom , but got no answer. She was still busy at the courthouse, filing papers and dealing with her lawyer. Grandmom tells me that the custody has changed. My services are no longer needed as she will be taking Mack home with her.

Oh fuck no you are not.

I refused to relinquish my right to that poor girl. “You may not walk off this school property with that kid until I have spoken to her mom. I will call 9-1-1 and also tell the school what you are doing unless you can show me, in writing, what rights you have.”

She couldn’t produce a thing.

Mackenzie-bright child that she is- suggested that Grandmom drive me home. “Then you can see where Miss Chris lives!”  Oh yes. I quickly jumped on the idea and also mentioned that in the meantime we would try to reach Mack’s mom. Maybe  Grandmom would leave Mack with me and once she knew where I lived, she would agree to pick her up if indeed the custody agreement was in her favor.

Finally Mom called me. Yes, unfortunately, the custody agreement is changed but it won’t go into effect until Friday. Mack stays with me. Grandmom was not happy….not one bit.  She dropped us off at my house. ” I hope you understand the position that I am in.” I said. “I simply have to follow the letter of the law. My ass is on the line here.”

“I understand” she said and she smiled. It was a cold smile that did not reach her eyes. I was an accomplice of the enemy.


Mackenzie wanted to leave with Grandmom, and when denied, she cried her eyes out for the second time in a day.

Mom came to get Mack a few hours later and we had a chance to talk. The child was asleep on my couch, having sobbed herself to sleep. Mom told me the whole story. It involved violence and restraining orders. It involved a woman who had worked for several lawyers and knew many judges personally. It involved a man who not only had many run-ins with the law, but was also friendly with others in law enforcement. It  involved a young mother without the money, resources and connections that the opposing side had. Even with police reports and photographic evidence of violence that occurred when kids were in the house, the judge ignored the pleas and is allowing Grandmom to take Mack to and from school again. Dad  is allowed to have Mack on the weekends when he will party it up and leave the child with Grandmom.  Mom is allowed to cry bitter tears of frustration at a system corrupted by who you do and do not know.

And Mack is allowed to fall through the cracks…. along with her younger brother and sister. She has already learned to tell her mom that if she can’t have her own way, she will go live with Dad or Grandmom.

I may have lost a job, but this child has lost so much more.


  1. Finn said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    Crap. This pisses me off to no end. Single mothers get the shaft every time because so many times they have no support system. And then the fathers always seem to have their mothers right there pitching in. How does that happen?

    Poor little Mack. Poor mom.


  2. DutchBitch said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    It’s such a crying damn shame to hear that so many countries (including ours) have judicial systems that say they are putting the childs needs first but still succumb to such pressure, knowing the right people, bribery and stuff…

    And I also hate hate hate it when parents are more obsessed by hurting eachother and coming out on top than the needs of their own flesh and blood…

    Poor Mack…

  3. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Finn-I hate it too. But on the other hand there are so many times that a single dad has no rights because of “kids need a mom”. I just wish that judges would keep “strings” out of family courts.

  4. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    DutchBitch-I know. What I hate are the men who fuck every girl that comes along and then obsess when their wife finally leaves. That man don’t want her back. He just wants to be the big guy that “no one walks away from”

  5. Sybil Law said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 2:25 PM

    Mother fuck.
    I am so, sooo pissed.

  6. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    SybilLaw-Well put. It’s heinous. :(

  7. teri said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    this makes me want to sob because I think of my own sister and her children and what her ex could have done and it would have destroyed me.

    I will pray for them and hope that the circumstances change in her favor. no upstanding parent and her child should have to go through this.

    I’m so thankful you stood your ground and were there for both her and the little one.

  8. shiny said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    … and this is precisely why I think you’re really damn good at what you do. And why the job must be hellish on some days, but also why there are families that are lucky to have you.

  9. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    teri-I could cry right now, knowing that as I type this, she is on her way to her ‘dad’. I hope things change too. She is trying to contact our state rep to see if she has any way of changing the pull the ‘father’ seems to have.

  10. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 3:33 PM

    shiny-*blush* Thank you my friend. Some days are absolute horrors but others are incredibly rewarding. It isn’t for the faint of heart!

  11. BlondeBlogger said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    Oh, Chris, this made me cry. That poor little girl. Her poor mother. I can’t imagine how you must feel, having her come into your heart and caring for her only to have it end like this. I know you must be so worried for her and her mom. Sending up HUGE prayers for them and for you!

  12. Metalmom said:

    on April 9, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    BlondeBlogger-I feel so helpless. Plus I think she is very close in age to Son1. I automatically fell into “mom mode”. I wanted to help her, I wanted to kill the grandmom, I wanted her to move in with me and I wanted to give her all my money so she could take the kids and run. She is so young and the kids are so young…..I know what MY frustration level is and I can’t even begin to imagine what SHE is feeling. :(

  13. Coal Miner's Granddaughter said:

    on April 13, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    Oh, well, fuck. That sucks. That makes me want to punch somebody. I wish I knew the answer.


  14. Metalmom said:

    on April 13, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    CMG-Seriously. We should grab up all our blogger friends and kick some ass!

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