I was just sitting here, bored, and wondering what I should post about. Well, I decided to give you all some little factoids from my former jobs…
I worked in a movie theater where roaches and mice were an every day occurence. (We shared a building with a bus terminal) Those roaches showed up even during the day and they had wings!! GAG! The mice weren’t shy either. Since bug spray, rat traps or glue traps never seemed to deter them, I kept oven cleaner behind the counter. They didn’t like that stuff. My can sat within reach…along with a baseball bat to break the fingers of the asses who would try to reach over the counter when it got busy. I used the oven cleaner and the bat too many times to count. True story.
I worked in a little film developing place (Like a Fotomat) This was located in a hallway within the above mentioned bus terminal. One wall was made completely of glass and since the trolleys discharged passengers at the head of the hallway, all those people would look into the windows every day. Some would stop to fix their hair or makeup in the one mirror that covered one of the pillars. They would adjust their boobs or balls as if no one could see them. I know exactly what a fish in a tank feels like. True story.
I worked in a deli where I had grown up buying candy. Since I knew the owner, after hours we’d stand in the parking lot shooting the breeze enjoying a soda for a bit. One night, while we discussed the progress of a new employee, he stood with his foot resting up on the bumper of his car. One of his fucking testicles dropped out of his shorts and just hung there. I tried so fucking hard to get out of that conversation so I could go home and bleach my poor eyes. True story.
I worked taking care of my friend Linda, who was paralyzed on one side of her body, putting her to bed and dressing her in the morning. On the very first night that I was on my own, I dropped her, wedging her between the wall, bed and wheelchair. At first I apologized profusely. But then I realized that the sounds she was making wasn’t crying at all. She was laughing her ass off at my panic. I tried getting her off of the floor but was not having much success. I yelled “You told me you weighed 150 pounds! You’re closer to 180!! Heifer!” At that, she laughed even harder and then so did I. When we calmed down, she revealed that her son was home, in his room in the basement and I could call him to pick her up. I don’t know what I would have done if any of it had happened differently. True story.