Monday October 18th 2010, 12:47 PM
Filed under: Hubs,laughs,Movies,other shit


Movie Moments

Yesterday, Hubs took me to the movies. We like to go to the movies once a month or so, depending on what is out there. I think the last one we saw was “The Expendables” (I have an opinion on that that I will let you in on in a second) But this time we went to see “Red”. I was so excited at seeing this because so many of my favorite stars were in it and I wanted to see Helen Mirren blow some shit up.

“Red” ……”Retired: Extremely Dangerous”

We (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘he’) thought the movie was supposed to start at 1:40. When we got there, we learned that it was actually going to start at 2:10. That’s a nice long wait. However, this gave us an opportunity to do something that we rarely do….get seats that were dead center of the theater. I love those seats. I am not assaulted by the soundtrack that booms out of speakers directly on one side of me. I see the entire screen head-on rather than off to the side. I don’t have to tilt my head back because I am too close and I don’t get distracted by the doors opening and closing because I am too far back. We also managed to take our time at the concession stand. We didn’t feel rushed by lots of people who were all anxious to see the same movie at the same time trying to get popcorn from the same poor harried girl. I have a feeling we will do that again some time.

The next thing I noticed, was that this was “Senior Citizen Time” . We went to the movie so early because we had no other plans for the day. It was something to do. But we were surrounded by old people!  “Oh dear”, “My Goodness” and “Well that was violent!”  was heard more than once during the movie. It was a far cry from hearing someone yelling “Fuck Yeah!” when the bad guy gets blown up! A young guy dared to speak during the beginning of the film (it’s one of my peeves and I was highly annoyed.) An old fellow turned around and yelled out ,”If ya wanna talk you can walk the hell out. I sure as hell don’t wanna listen to you talk about cool the movie is. WE KNOW. WE’RE WATCHING IT TOO!”  That is the best thing about old people. They’re too old to give a fuck about making a scene!

This movie was great. If you’ve ever seen an action movie with Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, or Bruce Willis, you need to see this one. They haven’t lost a thing. It had a smart premise, it was well acted, the stunts weren’t ‘over-the-top’ and it was funny. Helen Mirren? Funny, funny lady and she was a gem as spy who missed killing people. To see her in an evening gown and army boots shooting a machine gun was a joy.

 Now this is where I need to tell you about “The Expendables”. I feel that a comparison needs to be made. We saw that one and I was disappointed in it. The story line was ‘meh’ , but I didn’t expect much because it was written by Sly Stallone. I expected big booms and corny “I’ll-fuck-you-up” dialog. But…..I thought they tried too hard. The booms were too big and unbelievable. Stallone as a hero just doesn’t cut it anymore. Mickey Rourke was under used in it as was Jason Statham. I don’t know why it wasn’t better. It had all the old action stars and had the potential to be a really great flick. “Red” was just better. Go see it.

Now the last thing.

Why do we have to sit through the end credits to get one last tidbit? The first few movies that did it actually dangled a carrot of what was going to come in the future. Then it turned into a somewhat funny joke. Now, it’s just stupid and annoying. Everyone jumps out of their seat and makes their way to the exits where they all stand around-blocking the aisles- to see if something is going to be there at the end. “The lights didn’t come on yet! That means a “last scene” ” . I’m tired of them and they have to stop. How about this?  The end. Cast: list the main actors. “Last scene” and then all the other credits. DONE!

Fade to Black.




12 Comments »

  1. Sybil Law said:

    on October 18, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    “That is the best thing about old people. They’re too old to give a fuck about making a scene!”

    I guess I’ve been an old person all my life! :)

    The Expendables never looked good to me. Usually, when they pack in so many stars, it ends up being a complete letdown.
    Sybil Law´s last blog post ..I am like sunshine- lollipops and rainbows

  2. Metalmom said:

    on October 18, 2010 at 6:42 PM

    SybilLaw-You, my dear, are one in a million. You would leave your seat, punch the kid in the junk, and pour your soda over his head. You don’t care about scenes!

  3. teri said:

    on October 19, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    I’m glad you like Red. Can’t wait to see it when it comes on cable.

    I had no interest in the other one. seemed like a guy flick to me and too much blowing people up, etc.
    teri´s last blog post ..Bad body image

  4. Metalmom said:

    on October 19, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    teri- I like action flicks and Hubs seems to think that is all that plays in theaters! I like Statham, Rourke, and Lundgren. The problem was that they were playing their roles (again, as retired operatives) as though they were still in their twenties and thirties. In “Red” they are still acting as spies and action heroes, but they have ‘real’ problems like thier backs ache or they get winded. You should see it.

  5. Lynda said:

    on October 21, 2010 at 3:24 AM

    Now I want to go see a movie with an old person. :((

  6. Karl said:

    on October 21, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    I wish they’d have an announcement up-front, like: “Don’t leave at the credits…there’s one more scene.” That final scene was funny after “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Extra scenes are now a pain in the ass. I don’t WANNA sit through the credits.
    Karl´s last blog post ..I Own No Purple Apparel

  7. delmer said:

    on October 22, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    There was a line in Community, last night, about old people who don’t give a crap and what a threat they are to young people.

    I’d buy tickets for seniors if they can be counted on to keep young whipper-snappers from talking or pulling cell phones out.
    delmer´s last blog post ..Anybody remember this

  8. Metalmom said:

    on October 24, 2010 at 12:48 PM

    Lynda-Take your dad. LOL

  9. Metalmom said:

    on October 24, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    Karl-I can only think of two-Ferris Beuhler and Pirates of the Carribean- that were actually worth waiting for. I’d prefer to leave, but Hubs is afraid of missing….I don’t know what!

  10. Metalmom said:

    on October 24, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    Delmer-They are a mixed blessing. They will yell at the “whippersnappers”, but they also turn to each other and say “WHAT’S THAT ACTOR’S NAME?” or “DO YOU WANT MORE POPCORN?” so that the every one in the theater can hear them!!

  11. Stacy said:

    on October 30, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    Amen on the ‘tidbits’! (Or ‘Easter Eggs’, as I’ve been told they’re called.) If I don’t feel like sitting around to wait and see, I’ll just ask one of the theater attendants if there’s going to be one after the credits. They usually wander in to pick up trash as the credits are rolling.
    Stacy´s last blog post ..Site currently under construction…

  12. marty said:

    on November 5, 2010 at 12:10 AM

    I’m practicing being old cause old people get away with a lot of stuff cause they’re old. They can be rude, shoplift and fart in public without any ramifications.

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