I am thankful for the laughter of friends

the old and the new ones,

I pray it never ends.

I am thankful for work (for Hubs more than me)

I wish jobs for all of you

so we could be worry-free.

I am thankful for  a roof that shelters my head

for my tv, my laptop

and my comfy new bed.

I am thankful for family, for those far and near

for the love that I feel

for those I hold dear.

I wish you all happiness and health on this day

Hug your loved ones real tight

On this Thanksgiving Day

Many of my friends are grandparents. They have married children who are expanding the family trees. I see their pictures on Facebook or when we go out together. “Look my beautiful grandbabies!”  “My grand kids make me so happy” “Oh yes, they are expecting very soon”. These are a few of the greetings I see each day.

I don’t begrudge any of them. Far from it. I rejoice because when my friends are happy, I am happy. I love children and a baby’s smile is one of life’s most beautiful things.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel left by the roadside.

Son1 is going to be thirty this year. He loves children and has wanted to have a child of his own since he turned twenty. This past summer, he and Shenanigans decided that they are ready. They just want to put aside a bit more money, but if it happens sooner, they will be happy with that. I could barely contain my happiness when they told me. But until then, I have Shenanigan’s daughter Jazz to ‘practice’ with.

This weekend I was her “Mom-Mom” and I watched with pride as she was Confirmed. I took out my camera and snapped away and took videos. I smiled ear to ear as she spent her time with the Cardinal. I watched the pride on my son’s face. He is the only father she has ever known. I know that he will be an awesome dad because he has shown us all as he is raising Jazz.

 He already has such a beautiful family……

Well, lets’s see where to start…..

My meds are readjusting. I don’t feel like doing anything and I lost interest in the blog and writing for a bit. I’m sure it will level out soon, but until it does, I won’t be here much. And now that I said that, I just feel……blank. That’s the only way to describe it. The new meds will fix that. (I hope)

In other news, Babygirl’s roommate is leaving school. She is too homesick and did not put any effort into meeting new people or experiencing new things. Babygirl tried to include her as much as possible in her own activities, as did other girls in the dorm, but Julia just closed herself off. Now she is very obviously counting down the days until she leaves. This is very disheartening to my girl. She has also taken the television and coffee maker back home already as part of moving things out a bit at a time. (Shitty move in my opinion) Babygirl has already made arrangements with another friend to move in after the holidays. Neither girl can wait and they are already good friends and they spend lots of time together. Good for them.

And in Facebook World, I have my first ‘real’ drama. One friend from grade school (who is very narrow minded and intolerant in his Republican beliefs) made a comment on another friend’s wall.  Friend #2 commented back and thus began a personal attack on friend #2.  Friend #1 turned it into a dirty rant. This isn’t the first time he has done this to someone. I realized that I didn’t need such a negative person in my life and I ‘unfriended’ him. Now he is making a point of telling everyone that I did it and whatthefuckever.  I am so saddened by this…….NOT!

There was something else going on too, but I’ll wait until tomorrow to write that. I need a purpose to move myself out of these weird funks and that will be my impetus. Until then, know that I am here, and I’m okay, and I am moving forward…..slowly but surely…..