Tuesday February 08th 2011, 11:26 AM
Filed under: assholes,Friends,Grief

Chasing the Dragon

“MOM! Oh, Jesus! MOM! “

My son’s voice sent chills down my spine. The last time I heard him sound like that, his best friend’s brother had died.  His footstep running down the stairs accompanied his voice. “What’s wrong?”, I asked.

“Mom, D is using heroin. Oh my God, Mom! What the fuck is wrong with him? Why that?”

Heroin is what killed his friend’s brother. I made him sit and tell me what was going on. My heart broke with every word my son told me. More than the words, the disappointment and grief on Son2’s face was like a knife in my gut.

Roughly five years ago, we all would have worried about M. His mother and two older brothers were users. M would disappear with his girlfriend, a well-known user. None of his friends liked the girl and Son2 was the happiest when he found out that M was finished with her. M gave up smoking pot and now all he does is occasionally drink. He is dating a model and is working and happy and far away from the nasty scene. Unfortunately, ‘the girl’ moved on to D. Knowing how his friends felt about her, he kept their relationship a secret.

On the surface, things were going great with D. He bought a house with his brother and commenced fixing it up. He has a great job and a hot car and according to him, ‘the girl’ had cleaned up her act and only weeks ago, revealed that she was expecting. Lately however, it has come to light that he hasn’t been to work. ‘The girl’ inherited $80,000 and they were binging. One of their friends stayed with them for a few days and learned that the mortgage hadn’t been paid on the house. He found out that D was using, and spent the mortgage money.

This morning, he called their circle of friends.

These young men have stiffened their spines. They rallied around D, and told him to get clean. D, relieved that his secret is out, agreed. They called three rehab hospitals and were told that they weren’t taking in new patients today because of the Super Bowl. What kind of bullshit is that?? Seriously?   My son has a friend who works in such a place and managed to have some strings pulled. He called out of work to be there.

It is Super Bowl Sunday. These guys should be drinking beer and eating pizza and wings. They shouldn’t be committing their friend to a hospital. They shouldn’t be breaking news like this to a mother, that her son is going away for a while. They shouldn’t be telling a friend that his brother has put their home and his credit in jeopardy. They shouldn’t be throwing a friend’s girlfriend out of the house.

They should be laughing and high-fiving.

Not hugging and crying.

** D is admitted to a rehab for 3-10 days of ‘assisted detox’. After that, he will be part of  inpatient treatment for 30 days. It was shocking to hear that ‘the girl’ lost the baby on Saturday, and more shocking that she lost it again on Monday. The guys are exhausted but have committed themselves to taking turns being there for his family and helping his brother to take care of the house before things get worse. Though it has been only 48 hours since the first sentence, locks have been changed, D’s job is secure and insurance is taken care of. I can’t tell you all how proud I am of these guys  for pulling together like this. They’ve been together since diapers and this is what family is about. Send some prayers their way. ~MM


  1. Megan said:

    on February 8, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    They are good friends. Yes, this IS what family is about. And we are your blog family, so of course prayers will be said. xo
    Megan´s last blog post ..Scheduled

  2. bubblewench said:

    on February 8, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Wow. That just sends chills down my spine. I’m so glad your boys familied up (yes it is a word, I said so!) and are taking care of their own.

    bubblewench´s last blog post ..Not just another Saturday night…

  3. Metalmom said:

    on February 8, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Megan-Thank you Blog-sister :*

  4. Metalmom said:

    on February 8, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    bubblewench-This group of boys has been through too much shit. “Familied-up” is an excellent term. :)

  5. Sybil Law said:

    on February 8, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    It’s what friendship is about, though, for sure.
    Definite prayers.
    Sybil Law´s last blog post ..Taco School

  6. Metalmom said:

    on February 9, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    SybilLaw-It is a tough test of friendship too. Gut reaction was to distance themselves but I’m glad they’re in it to win it.

  7. Robin said:

    on February 9, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    Wow, how intense, I’m sorry your son had to go through that, I can’t imagine.
    Robin´s last blog post ..Protected- All The Hate

  8. Metalmom said:

    on February 9, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Robin-In my darkest dreams I never imagined that any of my kids would have to do things like this. :(

  9. Coal Miner's Granddaughter said:

    on February 10, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Your son is amazing and, with a friend like that, I think D will have a great future if he sticks to being clean.

    Great job, Mom!
    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog post ..A Love Letter For Egypt

  10. Grant said:

    on February 11, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    Family is apparently about having a lot of people who can make you feel bad. I don’t recommend having one. Just look at how happy I am.
    Grant´s last blog post ..Urgent Matter

  11. teri said:

    on February 14, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    So glad they are so close and don’t take any shit from each other. I’ll be praying for everyone. Hopefully he will get clean and stay that way.
    teri´s last blog post ..Bad body image

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