One of the responsibilities of having our own business is dealing directly with our customers. Hubs does this daily when he discusses the work they want done, when he goes over blueprints, and when he does the actual work in their offices, stores, and most importantly, in their homes. There have been so very many times when we have helped build a store, wired in the offices and then helped the owners build and wire their own homes. Relationships are built and this leads to word-of-mouth advertising and reputation-building. These things are priceless.

I hope I can be professional enough……

I, on the other hand, have become the voice of our company. I am the first voice they hear when they contact us. They tell me what they want, when they need it and depend on me to get that information to Hubs. I deal with the secretaries and wives frequently over the years, but still….we aren’t friends and we don’t really know each other.

I hope I can remember to watch my language……

On Saturday night, we are going to a dinner party being held by a client to celebrate the completion of their new home. Everyone-from contractors, carpenters, plumbers, painters, etc- has been invited. Hubs knows these people., some of them for years. I know no one.

I hope I don’t embarrass Hubs….

I try to avoid these things as much as possible. For one thing, these people are all strangers to me. For another, many of them are soccer moms. My kids are all grown. They discuss day care, camps, dance class and tutors. They get their nails done and hair highlighted and go for massages. Me? I took off my “Union blue” nail polish this morning and now I am looking at blue cuticles that I hope will fade by the weekend. I have to go shopping for a pair of dress slacks (HATE THAT SHIT!!!) and pray that I find some!

I hope I don’t spill my food or drink on myself…….

I am not looking forward to this. It is only Wednesday and I am already feeling the fear. Of  what? I’m not sure. Will I have something to contribute to the conversations? Will I have anything in common with these women? If this hostess does a seating chart (yes they do stuff like that) will I sit near enough to my husband? I don’t hover or stick like glue to him, but I like that I can casually touch his sleeve in passing to feel a little more grounded.

I hope my breath don’t stink……

I didn’t even feel this level of angst when I was meeting all of my blogger friends for the first time.

I hope I don’t accidently fart…….

I wish I had something worth blogging about. But I have nothing. The same thing is happening every day…..

I get up, walk on the treadmill, shower, eat and watch a movie. I do some paperwork, play with the dog or walk the dog, watch a movie and make dinner. I do laundry, straighten up the house and then hang out with hubs. This is the extent of it. Sometime I change around the order of doing things, but basically that is it.  I am sick and tired of winter and I want spring to come.

This week, I’ll be headed to the Philadelphia Union’s first  home game of the season. I am, of course, so very excited.

In April, Bubblewench, Libragirl, Bellaventa and I will travel to DC and North Virginia to hang out with Shiny, Cissa Fireheart and my dear friend BlondeBlogger. I can’t wait to hug her in person. Of course I’ll be able to post about that!

Also in April, I will once again team up with Bubblewench to head to Cincinnati to see our partner in crime, SybilLaw. Then with a bit of luck we will kidnap her and visit MattMan. Ah……I’ve never been so excited about illegal activities in my life!! 

Who can we call for bail?

Last Monday, Hubs came home from work with a scrape on the bridge of his nose.  This is a normal thing when he is using his CPAP machine when he goes to bed. However, he hasn’t been using it lately due to the head colds that are making the rounds of our family.   Babygirl happened to notice it and she asked what happened. “I don’t know. I probably just scratched it wiping spider webs out of my way.” This is a normal thing too. (So no bells and whistles are going off although, hmmm….it’s odd for someone not to know how a scrape the size of a dime got on the middle of their face…..)

And so….end of conversation….

Flash forward to Sunday night. We did our usual get-ready-for-the-week planning. You know-what jobs need to be done, what bills to pay, what appointments are coming up, etc. He put some paperwork into his office and came back out. “Hey, if we get anything from “P” Hospital, let me know.”

We have no reason to go to “P” Hospital. It isn’t local. No one’s been sick or had an emergency. Maybe for a work contract?

“Remember the scrape I got last week? Well…..”

He proceded to tell me about looking at a job. He had pulled down a ladder to the attic area and a two-by-four had slid out, hitting him on the bridge of his nose. He fell backwards and through a sheet of drywall. According to him, he was looking up one minute and waking up to smelling salts the next! The home-owner insisted that he go to the hospital to be checked out. (He had a slight concussion) The homeowner also drove him home in his work truck and parked in our driveway. (I sortof remember seeing this, but just assumed that Hubs was talking to someone that he knew who pulled into the driveway to chat.)

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME????  YOU ASS!!! ”

He couldn’t understand why I was upset. I remembered how he didn’t want to go grocery shopping, how he stayed home on Tuesday, and how he gave Son1 a  day of work. He was under doctor’s orders to take it easy for the next few days. His excuse was that he didn’t want to upset Babygirl when she asked him about the scrape. His excuse was that he didn’t want me to worry.

This is my biggest fear. More than spiders or fire, I fear that something will happen to him at work, rendering him incapacitated or God forbid-worse. Of course he didn’t want me to worry, but knowing what the problem was, I would have watched him carefully and gotten past it. Now, I find myself second-guessing the way I look at him.

How could I not see that he was keeping something from me? I kind of did, but like him, I didn’t want to push it in front of Babygirl. But why didn’t I ask him again later? When he stayed home from work, he claimed a sinus headache. Since I’ve been battling one for weeks, I accepted that. But why didn’t I say more when he wouldn’t take anything for it?

I stayed up the other night wondering if I have become complacent in our relationship. I always thought that I never take him for granted. Well, maybe I do. Maybe I just need to tweak my game. In the past few days, I look into his eyes more. I find myself listening ‘harder’ when he talks to me. When he sneaks up behind me to kiss my neck, I let it linger, even though I’m cooking or folding laundry.

I always considered the ‘little things’ to be important. Now I know that the ‘tiny things’ are important too.

The signs of spring are sprouting everywhere. Babygirl and I were out to

enjoy the warmth.

The trees are starting to bloom as well as the crocuses.

Even Iron Man was outdoors in the flowers.

I can’t wait until it’s here to stay…..

Last week I fell off the face of the earth.

After bowling on Monday, I felt fabulous.  I can’t tell you how many times Hubs looked at me and just said “What?”. It appears that I was grinning from ear to ear over the fact that I was pain free after a day of lifting, twisting and throwing the heavy balls around. Tuesday, I was kind of tired in a sleepy kind of way. And Wednesday, I had a followup visit with my doctor, in which I smiled some  more about the new meds. But I coughed while in the chair and he looked into my ears, nose and throat.

“You have a sinus infection.”

“Are you sure? I feel okay, aside from a little sleepy.”

“Nope. You have a post nasal drip, redness in the nose and throat, and I heard a little something in your chest.”

He gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. It was too late to fill it, so we decided that Hubs would pick it up for me the next day. I went home and did a few things. By eight o’clock, I was dead tired. By nine, my throat hurt, and by ten, I had a temperature of 101* and the chills. The chills stuck around for the day and the fever for two more. When I woke up, I almost cried. My head hurt so bad that a cough felt like a bomb exploding. My humidifier once again became my best friend. Even the neti pot did nothing to move the gunk out of my head.

I went under the radar and locked myself away from humanity.

I stayed in my bed. I took my medicine on time. I blew my nose and coughed up lungs. I tried eating, but what’s the use? I can’t taste a damn thing. When the chills got to be too much for me, Bandit pressed himself tight against my thigh. Thank God because, my skin hurt to touch and the thought of a hot shower made me cringe. After four days, I got up, ate and showered. I changed the sheets and put on some real clothes and a spot of makeup.

I feel human again.

I am back to doing laundry. I went outside for a walk yesterday. I even cooked dinner once more. I still can’t taste anything and every morning I wake up with a glorious mouth of slime and cotton all over my teeth and gums, but I can breathe once more and I can cough without peeing my pants. (Progress)

Now my son has it. Now my Hubs is fighting it. Babygirl is coming home tomorrow.

I am bleaching my house.

Gotta go……..