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Click the link. I don’t know why I can’t embed the video.
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Three bloggers walk into a bar…..
Wait, let’s try this again….
A bouncer, a mullet-wearing trucker, and an Aryan brother…..
No. This is not the opening of a joke so maybe I should start at the beginning……
After leaving the city of Pittsburgh, Bubblewench and I made our way to Cincinnati, where we picked the third of our little travelling group, Sybil Law. We chilled out with Sybil overnight (which included a small corner bar, a trip out the door – withholding name to avoid embarrassment *bw*-and a rough night of ”omg, I shouldn’t have had so much to drink”) The following day we went to visit MattMan (you can read about it here)
Due to the fact that MattMan passed out fell asleep, we called it an early night there, but ended up at the bar across the parking lot from our dive lovely accommodations. We walked in and immediately, Sybil was beset by a tatted up douchenozzle a patron of the establishment. We outside for a smoke (and to get away from him) but he followed us outside. Sybil made sure to say “I’m married” but he heard “I’m ready to jump on your dick” He actually thought that the key to her panties was “I am an Aryan brother”. That’s all she needed to hear. Suddenly the ‘bitch’ was unleashed. She proceeded to tell him the many ways that his beliefs were wrong. This argument continued for the remainder of the night. (Interspersed with “If you weren’t so cute, I’d hit you” and “You look like you wanna kick me in the balls”) Of course they were followed by Bubba the huge bouncer. He made sure that SonnyBoy kept his distance.
In the meantime, BW made friends with the bartender who promptly started hooking us up with lemondrops. (OMG!!) And me? Gary, the mullet-wearing trucker had taken a shine to me and not so subtly reminded me that “what happens on the road, stays on the road” DUDE! Are you fucking kidding me??? I could have been on the road for 10 years of celibacy and I STILL wouldn’t have looked at you twice!!! (But I did let him buy me a drink.)
We decided we’d had enough and went to our room. We laughed and agreed that we couldn’t wait to head back to Cincinnati.
Yeah, she’s hurtin’ but we all were. But it’s my blog and I choose not to show you my
“hurt face” hahaha
Once upon a time, I had a date with a girl. Her name was Becky (aka Hellohahanarf) She had a smile that lit up the room and a laugh that bubbled up from her toes. For the chance to be with her for just one night, I traveled across the state of Pennsylvania to the city of Pittsburgh. The things that Miss Becky showed me changed the way I look at churches, beer, and lego people.
Bubblewench and I drove for a whole day. That particular day began with rain….it was the tail end of the tornado storms that had raged through the midwest at the end of April.
We arrived at our hotel which also happened to be where the NRA were holding their convention. (“Are you here for the gun show?” “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…!”) The hotel room was awesome but we barely had time to check in before the phone call came for us to cross the parking lot and join Becky at her job. She showed us where she works her magic by day:
Apparently her job is high stress because she makes sure that the office is stocked with clear fluids.
She took us through the building and introduced all of the suckers hard working employees who were still there past 4pm on a Friday afternoon. She even showed us the desk where all the important work gets done:
After our tour, we freshened up and Becky came to get us. She took us to the place that all good girls should go – to Church. This place was incredible and the hummus was huminahuminagood! Becky even got a motorboat in church! Then we met up with her friend Young William and his friend Alfredo. We had tons of laughs and headed to the Hofbrauhaus where the crowd was kinda young.
The highlight of the night for me, however, was the trip to see the skyline. The view was amazing.
One thing we noticed, is that Pittsburgh is full of easily found businesses. We saw the “Food Store” “The Deli” “the Italian Bread Place” and even ate in “Eggs R Us” (and for some reason, the pictures of that great diner are missing)
Let me tell you, if you are ever in Pittsburgh, hook up with Becky. She loves her hometown and is chock-full of interesting trivia that you won’t get on any other type of guided tour. She made me and Bubblewench feel like VIP visitors to her town. I wish we had had more time to stay and visit, but she crammed so much into the few hours we spent with her. I can’t wait to visit again.
Thanks Becky. You’re the best Becky in Beckyland!!
*Be sure to click to see the videos!
I have quite a few posts that are started. Many of them contain photos and tell of my travels with Bubblewench. However, something else happened that is sucking alot of my time.
Bandit has a little brother. Two weeks ago, a friend of Son2 posted this picture on Facebook:
It was a cute little pup that looked just like my Bandit. She had rescued it from someone who was going to take him to the pound. She described him as “smart, housebroken, good with kids” and at a year and a half of age, he wouldn’t be growing much more. After a bit of thought, I called Hubs and he agreed to the adoption. We went to pick him up and were greeted by the sweetest little fella.
He is small. We found out that he is part chihuahua….the part that barks. At least he only does it when there is someone strange around or when he gets excited playing. It is tolerable. He is a cuddler and he is frisky. We threw names about because no one knew what his name was. Sparky? Skittles? Outlaw? Smoky? None had suited him. Finally Babygirl, in desperation, said “Oh hell. He’ll probably answer to something stupid, like ‘Mordecai’.” With that, the pup ran over to her and got excited. We tried it again and again and each time, he had a reaction. And so, his name is Mordecai.
Bandit has taken the new arrival in stride. He has taught Mordecai to stay downstairs. He is teaching him to be more calm when on the leash. And Mordecai is teaching Bandit to play with another dog, stop being a scaredy-cat, and to share ‘mommy’s’ attention.
Bandit sighs alot and gives me the equivalent of an exaggerated ‘eyeroll’ when Mordecai misbehaves.
They both went to the vet for shots and unfortunately, Mordecai had a slight reaction. The injection site hurt enough to make him yelp in pain when touched. I was ready to ‘wait it out’ but Bandit was behaving strangely. He offered Mordecai his ball and his bones. He licked his face and sniffed his neck gently. They say that animals can sense when things are wrong and the fact that Bandit seemed “worried” about his new buddy, made me take this more seriously. I called the animal ER and they told me that benedryl would hold him over til the morning. His regular vet told me to give him baby tylenol which worked wonders.
Today is the first day that I could sit quietly and do this properly. I plan on catching up with the other posts soon. I haven’t forgotten the blog nor any of you.
**PS, Grant, I got the cards and loved them. I’m just the ignorant bitch who hasn’t responded. Therefore, you are getting a public apology. Love you.
I wanted to post something, but I was at a loss for words. (WHAT ? ME?) But as I wandered through the blogosphere, I found that MattMan’s girl, Schmoop had done a better job than I could have. Therefore, here is my gift to you.
PS. Yes, I drank some Wild Irish Rose…..I have no esophagus left after the burning…..