Friday June 10th 2011, 9:54 AM
Filed under: business,Hubs,ineptitude,lessons,mail,Uncategorized

Lick It

Summer isn’t even official yet and already I am dealing with frizzy hair (from the humidity), underboob sweat (from the humidity) and lack of momentum ( from the humidity).

I have planted flowers in my garden. I have trained the dogs not to bark at every damned thing. I’ve done lunch with some friends and breakfast with another.

I have also fucked up.

Babygirl needed to pay $22 for a hole in her dorm screen – which wasn’t her fault and which was reported for repair repeatedly. I know we could have fought it, but it was worth the money to make it just go away. And so I wrote the check, dutifully put it into an envelope and stamped it. Hubs took it to the post office.

Yesterday, Babygirl got an email stating that they got a copy of the work order in the unsealed envelope with no check.

I have been wracking my brain trying to remember if I sealed the envelope. No, this isn’t something that I automatically do. I gag something awful if I have to lick an envelope. I know that I could have dampened a sponge or napkin to do it. I’m fucking lazy. Sue me.  Normally, I hand it to Hubs and say “It’s ready to go, just seal it”  Normally, Hubs double checks to see if it needs sealing. Did we both fuck up? It’s possible. So we aren’t placing blame, although I have a sinking feeling it was me.

I called the bank, mainly to put a “stop check”, but was informed that I need to close the account and reopen another and start all over.

Fuck my life.

Due to the glorious advances of modern technology, it is super-duper easy to print checks using a laser printer. They have my address which was printed on the check.  They have my signature, because I signed the check. So, sometime today, I need to go to the bank – with Hubs – to do this shit. We will get a new account, new checks, and new ATM cards. I’m sure there will be new charges for this.

All because someone didn’t lick it.


  1. Karl said:

    on June 10, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Ugh, getting new accounts, ATM cards, etc. is such a major headache. I never knew you had an aversion to licking.
    Karl´s last blog post ..You Can Be Sure the iPhone 5 is Coming Very Soon

  2. Metalmom said:

    on June 10, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    Karl-Some glues have a flavor but the ones that just taste like glue? *gag* No. I give them to Hubs because he’s good with his tongue! ;)

  3. Sybil Law said:

    on June 10, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    No more bragging about your oral skillz.
    Sybil Law´s last blog post ..So

  4. ~ Stacy ~ said:

    on June 12, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    That truly bites. I had to do the same thing a few years back, when someone at the local Pizza Hut took my information off of one of my checks, went to my bank, filled out and signed a withdraw slip, and cleaned out my entire account. …all while I was out of town, visiting my mother in Mississippi. Nice.

    So, this thief didn’t even need a nifty laser printer. All she had to do was take my information through the drive-thru. Stupid-ass bank teller didn’t even ask for ID.

    Anyway, seems to me we shouldn’t even use checks anymore, especially since our account #, name, address, and telephone # is printed directly on them. Something needs to change.
    ~ Stacy ~´s last blog post ..The Winds of Chaos

  5. Metalmom said:

    on June 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    SybilLaw-I got mad skillz.

  6. Metalmom said:

    on June 12, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Stacy-The chick at the bank told us that too. Hubs hates using credit cards online. Checks are making their way out. the banks recommend paying online or using money orders, which can also be a pain in the ass. Of course lots of that involves your social security number which is likewise unsafe. Oh the joys of technology.

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