Thursday May 17th 2012, 11:34 PM
Filed under: family,Grandmother,happy,ineptitude,lessons,love

Smiles and Tears

Again I have lapsed, my friends. My life is very busy. I have lots to do and have rediscovered the joy of reading in a quiet house. I haven’t actually watched a movie in quite some time and even most of my nighttime shows are caught in a random hour here and there.

My days are spent with Logan, mostly at his house. This isn’t an excuse. Why? Because I am offering no excuses. This is more of an explanation of my happiness. The child truly is sunshine. He rarely cries-even while teething! So far, we have two bottom teeth, accompanied by lots of chewing and drool. He has now started baby food and so far, it seems that squash is a favorite.

Carrots are definitely not a favorite.

We play, we laugh, and oh, my do I smile!  I recently realized just how much I smile when I was getting ready to go out. I was putting on eyeliner and as I looked into the soul-sucking   magnifying mirror, I noticed fine lines at crease of my eyes. I always had a few, but these are deeper. Know what? I am not freaked out by them. On the contrary, I am embracing them. They are my badge of grandmotherhood.

Logan has also learned to crawl. This happened two weeks ago. This week, he is pulling himself up….on the steps, on the coffee table, the couch, the dogs…you name it, he is the Edmund Hillary of the house.

And as long as I am telling you all of this, I may as well jump in and tell you what happened today.

Babygirl is home for the summer and her new roommate drove an hour today to hang out and have dinner with her. Just in case they were eating here, I made meatballs and sausage for sandwiches. Logan settled in for his nap and Babygirl went upstairs to get her shower. I sat right beside Logan on the couch. Normally we snuggle up together on the couch or on the floor. Sometimes I can get him to sleep in his car seat. Today, though, I was sitting beside him. He slept for an hour before I remembered that the meatballs were still in the oven. I could smell that they were done or needed to be turned. Either way, they needed attention. Since Logan still had about half an hour in his usual nap time, I jumped from the couch and ran to the kitchen. I opened the oven, stirred the meat around and was ready to close it up and return when I heard the thud.

He rolled off the couch.

I never leave that child alone! I toss him into the pack-n-play, the car seat, the floor….but never on the couch. The one time I did….for only 30 seconds….

He cried then. Oh, yes, he did. He looked at me bewildered by this new sensation of pain. I cradled him in my arms and kissed him, tasting his tears on my lips. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t take it away for him. I cried as he cried. And after all the boogers were wiped from his nose, he smiled. He hugged me and snuggled up. We looked out the front door at the cars passing by. When there was lull in the cars he looked at me and I saw it….

… egg on his forehead.

I cried a little more as I tried to hold an ice pack to his head. He cried a little more as he tried to avoid it.

Then his dad came home early.  (Of course!)  I could tell he wanted to yell at me. He knew it was an accident. But he also knew that he was the one who would have to tell Shenanigans.  I felt even worse, knowing that she would freak out about it.  He packed up Logan’s stuff and ran out to pick up Shenanigans at work. I cried a little more in the bathroom, rinsed off my face and finished dinner. I found it very hard to feed myself.

I talked to Son1 tonight. Shenanigans was a little upset, but as he said, she will get over it. Logan comes back tomorrow, and I will admit that I feel a little nervous. After all these years of caring for kids, Logan isn’t the first one to roll off the couch. He isn’t the first to get a goose egg. I’m sure he won’t be the last. But the fact that this is his first lump, his first real bruise…..and it happened at my house…it rattled me.

Tomorrow I’ll get back on that horse again, and laugh and sing and play……

And nap on the floor, right beside him.


  1. Sybil Law said:

    on May 18, 2012 at 7:29 AM

    Awwww. Gilda fell off our bed (which, at the time, was a 4 poster HIGH off the floor) and I felt like the WORST MOM IN THE WORLD. I still do, when I think of it. So I know I can’t ease your pain, but holy crap. Awwww. That’s all I’ve got.
    He’s okay, though. So is Gilda. She’s survived 10 years so far, so we’re all good. :)

  2. Metalmom said:

    on May 18, 2012 at 8:03 AM

    SybilLaw-Oh it was horrible. I’ve never felt so bad in my whole life. Except for the time I threw fake puke off the balcony and my friend made these noises like “BLUGH…BLUUUUUGH” and then people started puking….LOL

  3. Megan said:

    on May 18, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Since Mack was delayed in everything because of the stroke, I thought it was perfectly safe to stick him in the middle of the big bed while I ran and took a quick shower.

    Thud. Kid picked right then to learn how to roll over. Oh, the guilt.

    It happens, despite our best efforts. Life’s like that. Onward…!

  4. Metalmom said:

    on May 18, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    Megan-Okay, that would be worse. I’d die a hundred deaths in my guilt if that were me. Yes, it happens. It would be cool if it didn’t!!

  5. bluepaintred said:

    on May 22, 2012 at 1:00 AM

    parker picked the worst time to roll for the first time too. Micah , parker and I were in the change room at the pool. I laid parker on the wooden bench, and assumed Micah was watching him, and Micah assumed I was watching him. I had my shirt over my head (changing into my suit) when I heard him land face first on the tile over concrete floor. He hit so hard he pushed his brand new baby tooth back into his gums. It was so horrible.

    but.. I guess no matter how careful we are, we are still human.

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