Wednesday July 25th 2012, 4:16 PM
Filed under: happy,ineptitude,laughs,owies


Splits Are For Kids

What a great day.

I had a migraine last night. Rather than fight it, I took a tylenolPM, put on my jammies and crawled into bed at 8pm. Tuesday ended while I slept and I awoke to a beautiful Wednesday twelve hours later. Hot coffee and quiet time. Laundry running and Style network full of my guilty pleasures-How Do I Look?, Jerseylicious, and Supernanny. Just before I wanted to get in the shower, Babygirl wanted to go for a walk, so we leashed up the doggies and took a nice walk to Dunkin’ Donuts. I came home a bit sweaty and started dinner.

I had wanted to make beef stew in the crock pot, but since it was already afternoon, I figured I’d make it on the stovetop. I simply wanted to cook the carrots a little before adding everything else. And so, they merrily simmered….and simmered. Hubs came home early and we had a brief conversation. Babygirl was leaving for a baseball game and work and I said goodbye. I prepared to get into the shower…..again. Then I remembered the carrots.

The water had boiled away and the carrots were now fried. Hubs was still in the office and didn’t notice. I got rid of the burnt ones and cut up new ones. It was no big deal. I stalled until they boiled and then shut them off.  Now I had nothing to worry about.

I got into the shower and just enjoyed it. I stayed under the spray longer than usual, shaving my legs and feeling the heat on my back. It was glorious!

Cleaned and refreshed, I went into the kitchen to finally finish the stew. Onions, beef, potatoes all went into the pot. It smelled great already. Hubs and I sat in the living room to relax for a bit.

Before I knew it, my boys came in the door. Son2 was running right out to the MLS All-Star Game. But Son1 was here too. Apparently he was looking for jumper cables because the work truck seemed to be slowing down. Hubs went looking down the basement for the cables only to find…..

The basement had flooded.

Due to the roots in the line from trees and bushes, we have the plumber come out every now and then to clear the line. It’s that time again. Any laundry that had been sorted and waiting washing, was now soaking in two inches of water. The laundry I ran this morning? Yeah, that water. The long shower I took? That water too. The shower that Son1 was currently taking? Yup, that water too. Oh yeah, I think one or two of us may have used the toilet today too.

Hubs plunged out the line as best he could. It began draining again. The sump pump kicked on and sucked the water down. The dehumidifier came on to do its job. All I had to do was sweep some of the water toward the floor drain. I rolled up my pants and began.

Slowly, but surely, the water went away. I stepped backwards to push a pile of whites away from the flow of water and my foot began to slide….

I tried to brace myself with the broom…and continued to slide…

OMG! I’m falling into a split!!!!!

I started to laugh at the absurdity. I couldn’t stop. Instead of taking the hurt, I fell backward on my ass and kept right on laughing.

Now, with my ass soaked to the skin, I got up, went upstairs and changed. Before heading back to the basement, I noticed how yummy it smelled. My stomach growled and I realized that I hadn’t eaten today. Mmm….stew….

The basement finally clean, clothes running once more in the washer, Son2 gone to the game and Son1 on his way home, I went to check my stew.

I had been distracted for too long. The stew had dried and begun to burn.

The wonderful smell of stew lingered tantalizingly. The potatoes? Overboiled and mushy. The beef? Somewhat seared. Carrots? Brown.

I sighed deeply. Hubs scooped some stew up and began to eat it. “If I don’t like it, I’ll just throw it out.” he said. Just like that. And eat it, he did. Was he simply too tired and hungry to care? I think so.

I reached into the cabinet for my own dish, and noticed a pain. I turned and almost stepped on my dog. I noticed another pain. After a once over of all my body parts, I discovered a swollen and jammed thumb, slightly tweaked back, shoulder pain and a possibly bruised butt.

I still need to go food shopping tonight. I hope I manage to get it done before the worst of the aches start!  In spite of it all, without sarcasm, I can still say,

What a great day.

 




4 Comments »

  1. Sybil Law said:

    on July 25, 2012 at 8:14 PM

    Hahahaha – I’m glad you weren’t more seriously hurt, but that splits story was funny Sorry about the stew though. That’s no laughing matter.

  2. Metalmom said:

    on July 25, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    SybilLaw-I am dead serious when I say I laughed. Now I am feeling hurts all over. My thumb hurts like a bitch. Likewise the shoulder. SO disappointed about the stew.

  3. Stacy said:

    on July 25, 2012 at 10:55 PM

    You did the Broom Slide Boogie! \:d/

    That’s awesome. Really. Where are the hidden cameras when you need them? ;)

    The real tragedy was the stew. I think that might have given me cause to cry. Either that, or get drunk. :d

    So, I twisted my ankle on Monday. Just thought I’d share so you’d know there were other clumsy people in the world. ;) I was reading the judge’s ruling on my case as I walked out the front door of the court house and forgot there were steps out there. Two of ‘em. Damn it. Nearly face-planted on the pavement.

    Hope your aches go away soon!

    *hugs*

  4. Megan said:

    on July 26, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    It’s good when you can roll with the bullshit a particular day hands out.

    I’m kinda bummed that you didn’t make the split; I was totally rooting for you! Without pain, of course.

    Hope you’re feeling OK today. :)

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