Wednesday November 02nd 2011, 11:37 AM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,business


R-E-S-P-E-C-T

As my husband’s business partner, I deal with a myriad of things. I send out emails, write up the billing, catch the faxes that come and go, and search the internet for supplies that are hard to find at our local supply houses. The most important thing, however, is answering the phone. I am the voice of the company. Customers call me to ask if this is the correct business for their needs. They call when they electrical emergencies and even for something as trivial as flipping a switch on their fuse boxes.

Today, I got a call from a guy who needed to reschedule an appointment. This isn’t usually a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal in this case either. The big deal stemmed from the attitude I subjected to.

This condescending asshat used words like ‘honey’ and ‘sweetie’. There was also, the “Can he call me between 2 and 3? Not earlier because I’ll be at lunch and not later, because I’ll be going home. I don’t take calls because I will be working at home this evening.”  Worst of all, he said “I’m sure that you can have him call me back. I’d rather talk to him. I’m pretty sure that you’re not the one who can tell me what the scheduling looks like.”

EXCUSE ME?

This guy doesn’t know me from Adam. Who calls a business and talks to the employees like this? Just because we are a small business, it doesn’t give a person the right to assume so much. I guess he doesn’t realize that I wrote his number on a napkin which I promptly used to blow my nose. Too bad his last name was a little too complicated for me to remember. Oh, and as for the Friday afternoon appointment? Hubs will be enticed to stay with me for a little ‘afternoon delight’ and on Saturday, we may need to visit the baby.

Hey, guy! Find someone else to put your fancy flat screen on the wall for you. You wouldn’t be the first one I’ve kicked to the curb. Even millionaires need to learn a little respect when they call this company. We have a reputation for being clean, polite and respectful to all of our customers. We only ask for the same in return.





Friday August 19th 2011, 12:27 PM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,Budget/Spending,ineptitude,travel


Don’t Go There! NEVER Go There!

I have been dying to do this post but having thrown out my back immediately upon my return home from vacation, I was to disconnected to do so.

ANYWAY….

We got to the shore on Wednesday and it was Babygirl’s BF’s birthday. I was excited because this was his 20th and he was with us for vacation. In June, Hubs and I had gone to a restaurant and the food was indescribable. I was excited to go back and share this with the kids because BF will eat anything and Hubs and Babygirl were ready for the great steaks and superb mashed potatoes.

We went to LUNA. (Oh yes, there is the name) It is a few blocks off the beaten path and it is a restaurant with an adjoining club that has live music and dancing.  I felt like it was a well kept secret.

I was wrong. Apparently we were the ones not in the loop.

We got there and ordered drinks and appetizers. My drink was fabulous and the salads were incredible. However, when Hubs and Babygirl ordered their steaks and mashed potatoes, we were told there were no mashed potatoes. Strike one.

And so, as we waited, we took the time to notice the other diners. A table of eight twenty-somethings drinking beer. A family of six behind us with a two year old that was getting itchy. Another family of about ten. The place had full tables.  The wait staff was hopping, filling glasses, taking orders, refilling drinks. Hubs had three drinks and turned to me. “These drinks are really weak.” Strike two.

The family with the two year old left. We chalked it up to the kid becoming hard to handle. The twenty-somethings left. We figured that they had eaten already and were just done drinking in this particular place. Another couple came in and ordered salads. And still we sat waiting. The waiter (who barely spoke English) came over and told us that he was sorry about the wait. He refilled our glasses and we waited. By this point we had been there for nearly 45 minutes. They make all their meals fresh so we thought this would be considered normal. Strike three.

Before we knew it, we were noticing that the wait staff was saying the same thing to all the other tables. (Sorry about the wait. Your order is almost ready) Finally it was just us and another table. The couple finished their salads and left. The hostess was running in and out of the kitchen. It was obvious that she was upset about something. The wait staff looked at each other as if they had no idea how to proceed. Hubs was on his fifth drink and still unfazed. Strike four.

We joined in the exodus, asking for our bill and leaving.

As we were leaving, another group was outside deciding on whether or not to eat there. Babygirl turned to one girl and said “No. Just walk away and eat somewhere else.”

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was in LUNA. It is a very intimate type of place. The food is incredibly good. It isn’t very expensive. Some of the food is not the run-of-mill Italian fare. I had been psyched to share this place with Babygirl and BF. So much for a birthday celebration. By the time we left, it was nearly 9pm. We walked to another favorite restaurant and ate dinner in a mostly empty room….not exactly festive.

Two nights later, Hubs and I were in a taxi discussing with the driver our plans for dinner. He suggested a few places and Hubs asked his opinion of LUNA.  “Oh God! Don’t go there!! They must have the most brilliant PR because it looks like a great place. Too bad they have one of the worst management in Wildwood!”

Before he said that, Hubs and I were actually considering that it may have been a fluke…the chef was sick or fired or quit mid-shift. To hear that opinion spoken so vehemently stated by the driver….. Well, it seems that the one dinner that Hubs and I enjoyed was actually an anomaly.

Want to eat somewhere good in Wildwood NJ? Ask a cabbie.





Tuesday August 02nd 2011, 12:44 PM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,Budget/Spending,business,fantasy,ineptitude,lessons,questions


My Opinion on Spending

Does anyone remember the news reports a few years ago about how the government spends its money? You know, $450 for a $45 hammer?  $75 for a single nail? Has anything been done about that?

With all the talk about balancing the budget and making cuts, I began to think. Just like my doctor gave me little baby steps to lose weight in a manner that wouldn’t hurt, why can’t the government do the same? I mean, I know that when you are talking about the word ‘trillions’ or even ‘billions’ , the cost of a hammer or nail is a drop in the bucket. But let me put it like this:

A man works at Home Depot (or Lowes or Ace Hardware). Business is down, and in order to save their business they let the man go. Now there is no income for the man to feed his four kids. Now they are forced onto welfare and of course the government is cutting all kinds of programs so he still can’t make ends meet. His kids get ill from poor nutrition, they lose their home, and the downward spiral doesn’t end.

Now, if the government would pay $45 for that hammer -say at a Home Depot – that frees up $405. More money spent in Home Depot, man keeps his job, pays for his insurance to take care of the kid, keeps his house, etc.

I’m sure there are flaws in my logic. I am not an accountant or financial adviser. But I am a housewife. When the bills get too high,  I make changes. I shop for the best prices. If I can get that hammer somewhere else, I damn well won’t spend $450 for it!  If I need to meet someone for lunch to talk business, I will go to say, Applebee’s , rather than a four star restaurant…because I don’t have the money for it!

This is just a little step. But if every sector of government did little things, took baby steps, in the end it would add up. I am not talking about program cuts, I am talking about the wasteful spending. Little steps among every congressman and representative could add up to millions if not billions. If they started there, I think that the American public would feel alot differently about the goings-on in Washington. Maybe if we all demanded an itemized spending list from each of our officials and said NO to what we feel is unexcusable, then maybe, just maybe, things could work out.

That’s just my opinion.





Wednesday July 13th 2011, 4:19 PM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,computers,ineptitude


Screwed the Pooch

I fucked up. Yeah, again, so shut up.

I have Black Tie protection on my laptop. Or I should say that I had it. It expired in December. However, I got a renewal notice in the mail a couple of months ago and since I always renew, I went online and renewed it. Or I should say that I thought I renewed it. I am having a problem with my USB ports and took the laptop to Best Buy to have it serviced. My charger is also beat so I wanted that replaced also. Imagine my surprise when they told me that I had no coverage! “But you guys have my money!”  The ‘geek’ went online and said that I have no coverage but my daughter did.

Um…what? We never got the service for my daughter because the techs at her college would cover her problems for free, plus if they looked at it once, it would nullify the Black Tie protection anyway. So ‘geek’ told me to call customer service and sort it out.

I called yesterday and I was told that since my coverage was expired since December, I can’t transfer the coverage. Okay. I can deal with that. It pisses me off, but I understand. I just want my money back. When I ordered the protection plan, it was credited to my daughter’s laptop. I was given a  number and told to go online and explain it in an email.

Today, I went online and couldn’t find the place where I was supposed to do this. And so, I called their number once more. Now they want my daughter’s receipt for her laptop. They want info on my daughter’s computer. Why? I don’t understand why this is so difficult. Now, I don’t have to send an email. Now I have to write a letter of intent (to cancel the coverage) I have to explain all of this in writing and include the receipt for kid’s laptop, four part numbers and other shit.

Hoops, people. Fucking hoops. I don’t have the patience for this shit.

The harder I tried to explain to these folks, the harder it seemed to get. The guy kept interrupting me and trying to interpret what I was saying before I finished my explanation. Did he understand me? I couldn’t tell you. But I kept getting more and more confused. We were both speaking English and yet I felt like I was speaking gibberish!

My head hurts really bad now. I want to scream at the top of my lungs.





Tuesday July 05th 2011, 10:27 PM
Filed under: assholes,lessons,other shit,questions


Who’s To Say?

I am not writing this to say that Casey Anthony is guilty or not guilty. I believe that has been decided in a Florida courtroom. I am, however, writing this about the outcome and the resulting outrage.

It is MY opinion that Nancy Grace whipped the public into a frenzy in the many months that this was in the news. It is MY opinion that she helped fan every rumor into what many perceived as “facts”.  Did she kill her daughter? We will never know. Did she lie? Definitely.

WE are not the jury. WE may have sat in front of our televisions for the past weeks hanging on every word. But did we listen with unbiased ears? If we took the word “CHILD” or “MOTHER” out of the equation, would there still be the outrage? The thought of a mother killing her child cuts to the very heart of every other mother. No one can imagine doing that to their OWN child. But that is beside the point. The jury followed the law. Circumstantial evidence is not enough to convict someone. No one witnessed Caylee’s death. Even the coroner could not say exactly how Caylee died.

And so, if a few of my friends on Facebook are to be believed, at 9pm, we should be lighting our front lights for Caylee. Why?  It won’t change the verdict. It won’t bring the little girl back.

If – God forbid – someone I know or love ever needs a jury trial, I am terrified of who would be chosen as a jury. Do I want someone who will ‘assume’ guilt the way that many on television or Twitter have? Do I want someone who gets all their news from Joy Behar, Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper or the myriad other talking heads? Hell no!

I want someone who will look at the facts. I want someone who will follow the letter of the law. I want someone who will take an oath to uphold justice.

I want someone willing to make the hard choices. I don’t envy those jurists for one minute. They will be despised by millions for doing their duty as Americans.





Thursday May 26th 2011, 2:55 PM
Filed under: assholes,Friends,laughs,other shit,travel


Three bloggers walk into a bar….

Three bloggers walk into a bar…..

Wait, let’s try this again….

A bouncer, a mullet-wearing trucker, and an Aryan brother…..

No. This is not the opening of a joke so maybe I should start at the beginning……

After leaving the city of Pittsburgh, Bubblewench and I made our way to Cincinnati, where we picked the third of our little travelling group, Sybil Law. We chilled out with Sybil overnight (which included a small corner bar, a trip out the door – withholding name to avoid embarrassment *bw*-and a rough night of  “omg, I shouldn’t have had so much to drink”)  The following day we went to visit MattMan (you can read about it here)

Due to the fact that MattMan passed out fell asleep, we called it an early night there, but ended up at the bar across the parking lot from our dive lovely accommodations. We walked in and immediately, Sybil was beset by a tatted up douchenozzle a patron of the establishment. We outside for a smoke (and to get away from him) but he followed us outside. Sybil made sure to say “I’m married” but he heard “I’m ready to jump on your dick”  He actually thought that the key to her panties was “I am an Aryan brother”. That’s all she needed to hear. Suddenly the ‘bitch’ was unleashed.  She proceeded to tell him the many ways that his beliefs were wrong. This argument continued for the remainder of  the night. (Interspersed with “If you weren’t so cute, I’d hit you” and “You look like you wanna kick me in the balls”) Of course they were followed by Bubba the huge bouncer. He made sure that SonnyBoy kept his distance.

In the meantime, BW made friends with the bartender who promptly started hooking us up with lemondrops. (OMG!!)  And me? Gary, the mullet-wearing trucker had taken a shine to me and not so subtly reminded me that “what happens on the road, stays on the road”  DUDE! Are you fucking kidding me???  I could have been on the road for 10 years of celibacy and I STILL wouldn’t have looked at you twice!!!  (But I did let him buy me a drink.)

We decided we’d had enough and went to our room. We laughed and agreed that we  couldn’t wait to head back to Cincinnati.

Yeah, she’s hurtin’ but we all were. But it’s my blog and I choose not to show you my

“hurt face”  hahaha





Tuesday February 08th 2011, 11:26 AM
Filed under: assholes,Friends,Grief


Chasing the Dragon

“MOM! Oh, Jesus! MOM! “

My son’s voice sent chills down my spine. The last time I heard him sound like that, his best friend’s brother had died.  His footstep running down the stairs accompanied his voice. “What’s wrong?”, I asked.

“Mom, D is using heroin. Oh my God, Mom! What the fuck is wrong with him? Why that?”

Heroin is what killed his friend’s brother. I made him sit and tell me what was going on. My heart broke with every word my son told me. More than the words, the disappointment and grief on Son2’s face was like a knife in my gut.

Roughly five years ago, we all would have worried about M. His mother and two older brothers were users. M would disappear with his girlfriend, a well-known user. None of his friends liked the girl and Son2 was the happiest when he found out that M was finished with her. M gave up smoking pot and now all he does is occasionally drink. He is dating a model and is working and happy and far away from the nasty scene. Unfortunately, ‘the girl’ moved on to D. Knowing how his friends felt about her, he kept their relationship a secret.

On the surface, things were going great with D. He bought a house with his brother and commenced fixing it up. He has a great job and a hot car and according to him, ‘the girl’ had cleaned up her act and only weeks ago, revealed that she was expecting. Lately however, it has come to light that he hasn’t been to work. ‘The girl’ inherited $80,000 and they were binging. One of their friends stayed with them for a few days and learned that the mortgage hadn’t been paid on the house. He found out that D was using, and spent the mortgage money.

This morning, he called their circle of friends.

These young men have stiffened their spines. They rallied around D, and told him to get clean. D, relieved that his secret is out, agreed. They called three rehab hospitals and were told that they weren’t taking in new patients today because of the Super Bowl. What kind of bullshit is that?? Seriously?   My son has a friend who works in such a place and managed to have some strings pulled. He called out of work to be there.

It is Super Bowl Sunday. These guys should be drinking beer and eating pizza and wings. They shouldn’t be committing their friend to a hospital. They shouldn’t be breaking news like this to a mother, that her son is going away for a while. They shouldn’t be telling a friend that his brother has put their home and his credit in jeopardy. They shouldn’t be throwing a friend’s girlfriend out of the house.

They should be laughing and high-fiving.

Not hugging and crying.

** D is admitted to a rehab for 3-10 days of ‘assisted detox’. After that, he will be part of  inpatient treatment for 30 days. It was shocking to hear that ‘the girl’ lost the baby on Saturday, and more shocking that she lost it again on Monday. The guys are exhausted but have committed themselves to taking turns being there for his family and helping his brother to take care of the house before things get worse. Though it has been only 48 hours since the first sentence, locks have been changed, D’s job is secure and insurance is taken care of. I can’t tell you all how proud I am of these guys  for pulling together like this. They’ve been together since diapers and this is what family is about. Send some prayers their way. ~MM





Monday December 06th 2010, 7:27 PM
Filed under: assholes,fashion,holiday,lessons,other shit


Happy Holidays?

This weekend I did some shopping at the King of Prussia mall with Son1 and Shenanigans. I was there once upon a time…..like when it opened “the Court” section in 1981. Back then, I was the mom of one-year-old Son1 and I was relatively broke. I went with a girlfriend who tried to talk me into spending $25 for a pair of white cotton ‘granny panties’ that said “Bloomingdale’s”.  In all the interim years, the only thing that never changed about that mall was that it consisted of the higher end stores.

Flash forward to this Saturday.  It was obvious from the parking lot that things were very different from the mall less than a couple of miles away from my house. The parking lot was full of Volvos, BMW’s and Hummers. Groups of shoppers were leaving the mall laden with bags from Michael Kors, Coach, and Tiffany’s.  The girls headed into the malls wore their high heels and pricey boots. The guys were well-coifed and looked like ads from GQ Magazine. I felt out of place, even though I actually “dressed up” to go shopping!

The three of us had a great time. We window shopped, pointing out things for our “wish” lists. We imagined the ways that our homes would look if we could afford the things that were sold in some of the artsy stores. We stopped for lunch and ate Cajun food, something we talk about doing but never have the opportunity to do.  While we ate, we watched the people who walked by us. Not only were the stores, and prices ‘higher’, but the shoppers were…..I don’t know the exact word…..

Girls walked by looking down their noses at each other, they pulled merchandise from racks and shelves, and then threw them back with disdain, as though cashmere sweaters weren’t good enough to touch their skin. The guys were in two groups, the ones who absolutely loved shopping and knew where to go and what to buy and the ones who were only there to kill time. Little kids whined until they got whatever they wanted and the parents……

The parents all seemed like they were somewhere else mentally. It was like a ‘chore’ to be there. They were on their phones arguing about whether to get the kids what they wanted or to get them what they needed to go on vacation. Some argued with their kids “No, they only have that bag in brown……But it’s not in black…..What do you want to do?….Fine, then ask your father to take you….I don’t care really….Don’t come home, it’s his night….”

The lights were bright and twinkling. The music wasn’t too loud but it was quite festive. Babies sat on Santa’s lap.

If I could ignore everyone except Son1 and Shenanigans, I could be in the holiday spirit. If I let the others in, I could be depressed by the lack of …. would it be ‘lack of humanity’?  a ‘lack of joy’?  a ‘lack of family warmth’?  People pushed by us without a single “Excuse me” It was normal to hear “Tsk!” , followed by the loud-whisper “OMG, did you see that? How rude!”

I ignored the outside world. I enjoyed my day with Son1 and Shenanigan. I am going shopping tomorrow with an old friend. We’ll be going to a different mall. I am curious to see if this is normal behavior this year, or if this weekend’s adventure was an anomaly.  I hope that people aren’t so indifferent this season…….





Sunday June 06th 2010, 8:17 PM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,HOT,Hubs,kids,other shit,questions


The “20 Questions” Bitch

Dear Neighbor,

I’m sorry if you think I was rude.  I was sweating my ass off in the sun. I was picking up grass divots while you stood there asking me if  “it’s a hot job?”   You may be a professor of Criminal Justice, but you are as stupid as a rock.  I tried to be polite….really I did. I just didn’t feel the need to tell you how hard Hubby and I were working when it was obvious that we were soaked with sweat.  It was obvious from the shovels and the bags of mulch.

I also tried to be nice to your kids, who kept coming over to ask why we were digging in the dirt, where is my dog, did I squirt Hubby with the hose (Is that how he got wet?)  They are kids and I really couldn’t tell them to go the fuck away.  Besides, how could they know any better when their mother was the one who started the game “20 Questions”?

When you finally went away, I could still hear your whiny, nasal voice cajoling your kids into behaving. “Wanna go in the house? Wanna put on your bathing suit? Why don’t we go get your bathing suit? If we do, you can play in the pool. Do you wanna do that?”  WTF?  You say, “Get in the house and get your bathing suit so we can swim.  No? Fine,  get in the house and take a nap!”  How could you let them walk all over you like that? Why let them get into the pool with their clothes on? You’re a spineless jelly-fish. 

Your spiel never let up. “Here’s the rules! Here’s the rules!” and then “Take turns or else! One…..Two……Eric, take turns now! One…..Two…..”  THE NEXT ONE IS FUCKING THREE!!!!  Now smack his ass and take him into the house, for Chrissake!!!!

Every day we are out there and every day you say, “I should borrow your husband to do my yard”   No, bitch. You have the asshole landscapers who mow your lawns at 8am on a Sunday morning. They are the shitheads who blow all the leaves from your property onto my lawn, which gets cleaned up BY ME!

Don’t you dare ever ask me why the neighbors are so ‘standoffish’  I may have to tell the truth and tell you that it’s all you baby!!

You know that saying,  “Good fences make good neighbors”?  I wish I could build a fucking brick wall.

Not So Cordially,

Metalmom





Friday May 07th 2010, 11:27 PM
Filed under: assholes,birthday,family,holiday,Hubs,other shit


No Answer

The phone was ringing but I didn’t answer it.  The caller ID said it was “Sis”.  Why didn’t I answer it?  Because tomorrow is my Dad’s birthday. She will tell me that I have to be there. I hate being told that I have to do anything.  Not only that but she will also tell me what I have to bring.  I haven’t been food shopping for my own family in two weeks.  I really don’t want to go into a store just to get stuff for a salad.

Will I miss Dad’s birthday?  Not really.  I’ll call him in the morning and I will say “Happy Birthday”.  I’ll tell him to have a great day and that I’ll see him on Sunday, when I stop by to visit my Mom for Mother’s day.  He’ll be cool with that.  He understands.

What I won’t miss is the gathering with the family.

 I won’t have to listen to my brothers busting on my sister. You see,  she really has no sense of humor and takes things way too seriously. They will tease her and move onto other subjects, but she will brood and drink and think of all the things she should have said and drink some more and then start whining to her daughter who will whine to my mom who will bitch at my brothers.

I won’t have to watch my husband sit in a corner waiting for the opportunity to leave.  He doesn’t watch sports….any sports. My dad and brothers will flick between games or else they will be chased outside by mom where they will sit and talk about sports. And then my brothers will start asking me “What’s his problem?”

I won’t miss my mom asking why I never told her this or that, when I actually made it a point to tell her what is happening in my life.

I know, I am lucky to have my parents. I am lucky to have my family.

I simply prefer to be lucky in small doses.