Every Saturday morning, as I drink my coffee, I catch up on my feeds from the week. There is always something new to make me smile, laugh or think. But imagine my surprise when I saw this:

This honor was bestowed on me by none other than Fantastagirl. She truly gave me the “warm fuzzies”! Thanks Fantastagirl!

And now, it is time for me to pass it on. There is only one rule : Don’t give it to someone who already has received it, that way we can all share the love.

I am giving this to two of my favorite men-Avitable and Karl. Both of these guys have great blogs. But today’s post (written by Avitable and posted at Karl’s) was….umm… well, it was…OMG! Just go over there and check it out. I have never laughed so hard in my life!!

To Loving Annie-She never has a bad thing to say about anyone, and when it comes to blogging, it is a huge deal!

To Jezebel-This is one funny, funny lady! I don’t think she has felt loved or appreciated lately and she needs to know that I like her!

And to Whall-There is nothing sexier than a funny man and he is it. Every time I read his blog or his comments through the bloggerhood, I laugh. Can one man really contain that much humor?

So there you have you have it, cats and kittens. check out those blogs and see why I love them.  **Let me know if you need bleach for your eyes or brain.

*********

In other news, Lisa has been sprung from the hospital just in time for the Bead Expo. YAY!! Just because she’s out, it doesn’t mean that we can slack off with the good mojo! Keep sending it her way! Love ya, Lisa!!

I have a wedding to go to soon. September 5th to be exact. While I am happy for the bride and groom, and the chance to get out with Hubs, I have also been dreading it. Why?

I have to dress “nice”.

I am a jeans and tee shirt girl. I also like sweats. But Metalmom + dresses = hot mess. Usually. I got lucky. This time it won’t be a pitiful sight.

My BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD came through for me.

We had planned on dress shopping today. It was a job I dreaded with every atom in my body. I was prepared for disappointment, anger and depression. Instead, when she picked me up, we stopped back at her house to pick up her daughter. “Hey, why don’t you try on the dress I wore to  my nephew’s wedding?” she asked.  Usually this trick doesn’t work. She likes her dresses long and I like mine short. (Hey, I have great legs! I like to show ‘em off!)  She likes browns, tans, and black. I like reds, blues, and even yellow.  She will cover up as much as possible and I will show it all off. We don’t normally agree.

Well, if you knew her, you’d know that we weren’t going to get out of the house until I humored her and tried it on. So we went to her room. She searched the closet for the black dress (I was only marginally interested. I knew it was sexy, but I didn’t think it would fit me.) Guess what? IT DID!!!!  Not only that, but she pulled out another dress for me to try on for shits and giggles. THAT FIT TOO!!

So now I have two dresses to choose from. Yay!

Plus! Just so we didn’t waste the rest of the afternoon, we went to the mall anyway and I found shoes! And other things to wear with the dress (underwear) I was more than happy because I didn’t have to try everything on for her approval.  She is a girly-girl who likes to shop. She loves to try on and she loves to see what I try on. She will go to a bazillion stores just to see what her options are. Not me. So I was blessed that I didn’t have to shop in eight different stores because I “might find something better in store three or five”. I went into store one, found shoes, bought ‘em and walked out. I went into the next store, found a bra that I liked - in my size!- and again, I walked out.

Done! Just like that!

That kind of shit never happens to me. It may take a month of constant searching for me to find something that I can tolerate putting on let alone wear into the public eye. It is a rare thing to find an entire outfit with the minimum of aggravation. You ladies know what I’m talking about.

She’s coming over tomorrow so that she can see the whole shebang. You know, the dress, the shoes, the foundations…. I’ll put them on. Not to humor her this time. This time I’ll try them on like a fashion show so that she can help me choose. Maybe I’ll let her take pictures and I’ll let you guys help me too.

Hmmm…there’s an ideer!

On Monday, August 18, at 12:01 am, an event of epic proportions will commence.

No….not the Summer Olympics. That was last week.

No….not the X-Games.That was the beginning of the month.

Miss Britt and Karl will be quitting…..not blogging!! SMOKING!! Yep, you heard me! Some of you out there will be joining them in this endeavor. And y’know what I have to say about that?

 FUCK YEAH!!!  YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I am a former smoker. And I know it takes a lot of hard work. My Hubs still smokes, that assho–well, this isn’t about him.

It’s about all those who will soon be turning into edgy, bitchy, nasty animals. Nicotine withdrawal is horrible. So bear with them when their posts get nasty. Stand by them when they twitter about how much they want a  smoke in their mouth. And don’t give up on them when their only response to your encouraging comments is “BITE ME!”.

** Seriously, can anyone imagine what it will be like to talk to

Britt and not hear the deep, lung-exploding

inhale???   Me neither! I can hardly wait!!

Really, everyone who is quitting is deserving of my respect. I hope it isn’t too stressful for you. I wish all of you success.

Oh, and if you do succeed?…….I will stick my tongue down your throat, allow you to video it and put it on your blog.  Now go forth and smoke no more!

I responded to Libragirl……*refer to (D).

A) Four places that I go to over and over: The Library (for the books), Acme (for the food), CVS (for the drugs), the Co-Op(local market for anything I forgot at Acme).

B) Four of my favorite places to eat: Charlie Browns, the Olive Garden, Neil’s Steakhouse, and Mom’s house

C) Four places I would rather be right now: Amsterdam - with Dutchbitch and Jill showing me around, In the mountains of New Mexico, visiting the sites in Japan, On a beach in Tahiti.

D) Four people I think will respond: Any man will respond if you cup his balls.

E) Four TV shows I watch over and over: Saving Grace (Love Holly Hunter) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Leave it To Beaver, LA Ink

Since I cheated with (D), I’ll throw in an (F)

F) Four Movies you watch repeatedly: The Princess Bride, City of Lost Children, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, The Devil’s Rejects.

Take one now….pass it around…..

If you were here while I was gone, please step forward…….Don’t act like you’re innocent! Step up and accept the consequences!…….Fine. You’ve forced my hand and I now have to name names…..

Flipflopmomma, I only gave you guys four rules and you broke almost every one! Thanks for not pooping in the sink! But did you really have to invite those frat boys with you? How young were they? Eighteen? (Shit-Good for you!)

LovingAnnie, you tried to clean up the evidence–I can tell you did—but there were still signs of mayhem everywhere.  Froggywoogie, a hole in the back yard filled with water is not the same as a Jacuzzi! Apparently the Rottweiller that tagged along with Delmer fell in and was more than a little hungry. Luckily for everyone on my blogroll, he ate one of the assassins (the other was given Grant’s address–and I swear I don’t know who did that!)

Turnbaby, don’t sit there smiling smugly as if you did nothing! So you didn’t find any vodka left. Girl, you sure do have a nose for the bourbon though! Well, I hope you enjoyed the case that you found. It was supposed to be your Christmas present, so no gift for you!!

Now for the threesome! Yes, I know it was you DutchBitch, BubbleWench and Slick! I found the pictures on my camera of DB resting her head on BW’s boobies while Slick filmed it! I didn’t know that’s the type of DVD you were looking for! BW-you gave yourself away by leaving your tiki mug behind. And btw, Slick, “Redneck Rondayvoo” is not a good name for the movie!

Teri, I am ashamed of you! I heard rumors of you and Dick Small  locked in the bathroom. I didn’t want to believe it. Annie tried to clean it, but I can still see “Teri Loves Dick” written on the wall! I hope you at least had the sense to wait until MixedNut showed up with the condoms! Speaking of Mixed….the beer distributor keeps calling to ask for those kegs back. And did it have to be a Zydeco band? That is just weird!

Sista#2–putting cheese into the popcorn popper will NOT make cheese puffs! You owe me a new popper!

This is going to be the last time I leave you freaks the keys to my world! You simply can’t be trusted!

*********************

Oh, and can someone pick up Nobody? He’s still passed out naked on my front lawn! Thanks for leaving this photographic evidence of his debauchery. Mrs Nobody is gonna love this!

Remember when you were a kid and you spent a day or two home sick? Remember what it was like to go back to school and everything was ‘normal’ but it felt ‘different’?

That’s how I’m feeling today.

While things were busy happening here at home, other things were happening in the blog-world. I missed it. Not all of it, mind you, but a bit. I didn’t have time to read every post every day. The majority of my ‘regulars’ were read. A few were commented on. But more than a few, I read and immediately forgot. This isn’t because what was written was forgettable. I would say that it is because there were other more immediately pressing things intruding on my thoughts.

I missed whatever went on among my friends that caused a rift. Was it serious? Was it irreparable? I don’t know.  I hope it is all better. Someone’s computer was sick and it left them offline for a while. Did I notice? No. Someone wrote posts trying to relay her feelings without actually “saying” what it was (for reasons all her own.) But did I “hear” what she was saying? No. Someone went to a convention and reported all the goings-on  that he saw. But I missed that too!

(At this point, I will say that I’m not linking these friends because I seriously don’t think I can remember who wrote what! And besides, we’re such a tightly entwined cyberfamily, that I think we all know who is who.)

ANYhoo…..

I kind of feel like I have returned to school only to hear that so-and-so broke up with her boyfriend, or Mrs. Teacher had a meltdown, or what’s-his-name got suspended. I hear it, after the fact, too late to weigh in,  too late to be part of the surprised, too late to comfort, too late to be “in the loop”.

And now it is time for summer vacation. What will I miss in the week ahead? I hope that all that I miss is good news. I hope that when I get back, I can catch up on things more easily than this time!

I’m getting old. We all are, and this is not news. It’s just that I really feel it today.

Yesterday, George Carlin’s death was all over the place, on the news, on my yahoo feeds, and  in several blogs-even my own. I grew up with him as many of you did. Thinking of him brought up several great memories for me. I listened to his albums with my Dad as a kid. Yes….I said as a kid. Where did the time go?

Today, I received an invitation to a wedding shower. Son2’s friend is getting married soon and this is a shower for the bride-to-be. I remember this boy’s first grade class picture. I remember him skinning his knees playing with my son. Now he’s getting married. He already has a two year old daughter. Where did the time go?

This guy is not the first of either of my sons’ friends to have a child or to get married. But since my sons are friends with the same group of kids since childhood, many of those who married are twenty-five to thirty years old. This particular friend is one of the younger group. The group who is 23 years old…the age of Son2.

Twenty-three. When I was twenty-three, I had two little boys. When I was twenty-three, I still lived in an apartment. At twenty-three, it was a huge deal to go out without the kids.

Twenty-three was half my life ago. Where did the time go?

Someday soon, my own boys will be the ones getting married. Babygirl will be out of high school and moving on to college in two years. Maybe I’ll even be a grandmom. Where did the time go?

I’m getting old…….

We remember DJ and New York City’s Watchdog.

Hug your kids extra tight.

Sunday is my one year Blogaversary,but since it is also Father’s Day, I’m posting this today.

One year……It seems to have gone by so fast, which is strange because when I was waiting for the holidays or for vacation, it seemed to c.r.a.w.l. by. I have learned alot of things about my blogging friends but more than that, I have learned about myself.

I have learned that even though everyone complains about memes and never wants to be tagged, they sure do jump at the opportunity to do one  and thus save themselves from a “dry day”.

I have learned that I have been to the doctors alot this past year, mostly for myself. Thankfully, I got the job done and I’ll be cool for another year or two.*knock wood!*

I have learned that although I have considered myself to be a fairly easy-going person, alot of things piss me the hell off. The difference is that before I blogged, many of these things went unexpressed. This led to mood swings that were borderline psychotic. Now that I can spew forth through my keyboard, I find myself relaxing more than I can ever remember doing.

I have learned that when your world comes crashing down around you, your friends are there to help pick you up. I have seen the depths of despair and the heights of joy through the eyes of my friends. I have seen the generosity of strangers. And I have seen you open your hearts to me and to each other.

I have learned that I am crazy in love with my family. Only the ones you love can make you become a raving lunatic. Only the ones you love can hurt you so very deeply. Only the ones you love can make your heart swell with pride. Only the ones you love ever see you in your jammies, with last night’s mascara running across your eyes, with that white gunk on the side of your lips, while dragon fumes escape your mouth and all the while STILL give you a hug and kiss in the morning!

Blogging has become so personal and simultaneously public to me. I have made some of the best friends. You make me laugh. You make me cry. You let me know that I am not the  only one out there who feels like a dork.

And you let me know that some days,  though I may be the only one in the house, when an outburst of laughter is heard, it’s just me….being silly with my friends.

I was busy doing some stuff , like checking some emails and such, and a headline caught my eye. It mentioned Facebook and since I hang out there (with many of you!)  I decided to click the link. Look what I found ! Go ahead, I’ll wait…..

(elevator Muzak here)

You’re back? Did you read it? I was always aware that there was some sharing going on because FB is a business when you get right down to it. I just wasn’t aware of how much sharing there is!

Yes, I’m guilty of taking quizzes and asking my friends to play along too. Yes, I sent virtual gifts, drinks and hugs. I will be taking a hard look at what’s on my profile page.

Yeah, today I’ll be cleaning house over there. Not leaving….just  cleaning.