There isn’t much going on here that is exciting for y’all. I’ve just been spending time with Hubs and Bandit. The weather has been pretty crappy. (Not as crappy as everyone dealing with the flooding and the tornadoes. What’s up with that??) It’s just been cold and then hot. It’s been cloudy and there’s no way to tell what is rain and what isn’t. It just sucks.
We visited Holly for Easter. That was pretty nice. We got a motel room and spent Saturday night first having dinner with her and the boyfriend and then just chilling in the hotel. For Easter, we went out for breadfast together and then back to the dorm for “trip one” of bringing her stuff home. I think next year, she’d better not pack everything that she owns!
Today I packed for the next adventure…Pittsburgh PA, to visit with Becky, aka Hellohahanarf. I’ve never been to Pittsburgh long enough to look around so this is exciting for me. From there, we will go to Cincinnati to kidnap SybilLaw to join our little caravan. And the final leg of our trip will take us to Bagwine OH and a party with MattMan and his gal Schmoop. This will be an epic gathering. Following Bagwine, we will take Sybil home and party with Sodapop and Laci. Hubs has already said that this is the last time I can take off on him for this year. (We’ll see about that…)
And so. I never finished this yesterday and I sit here with the news on…..looking at the horrid devastation that visited Alabama, Georgia, and many other southern states. There are also severe weather warnings for the state of Pennsylvania and of course that is for when Bubblewench and I hit the road. Don’t worry, she is a very safe driver and will stop rather than drive through the crap. I’m taking you with me, so I’ll update when I can.
The dinner party was okay. I looked good, didn’t fart or swear, and only had one glass of wine. That’s all I’ma say ’bout that.
Now, onto NoVa Con.
A group of bloggers gathered in Chantilly, VA this weekend. I rode down with Bubblewench, Bellaventa, and Libragirl. As soon as we pulled up to get Bella and Libra, the shenanigans began and they didn’t end until some time on Sunday. I laughed so much that I hope I managed to burn more than a couple of calories!
We got there, checked into our room and headed off to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. We saw lots of airplanes and such and I was more impressed with the trip than I thought I was going to be. We went to a store for alcohol and to eat lunch and then back to the hotel for cocktails, showers and naps.
The naps never happened.
After showers, Ren called and said “Hey, let’s hang out!” And with that, NoVa Con was on. CissaFireheart also wanted to hang out and so they both came to our room and we got our drink on. We took pictures, shared lots of laugh and then there was a knock on the door. BlondeBlogger and her man Matt were there! Yay! I have waited for what seemed to be a lifetime to hug my ‘soul sister’ and at last the moment was here. We hugged and in the middle of such a group of folks, I would find myself just looking at her, drinking up the sight of her and storing away mental pictures and memories of her beautiful laughter. A pint of tequila, some rum and cherry vodka later……..
Dinner time came so fast, but that only meant MORE bloggers! We met with Poppy and Dawg (and Mrs Poppy’s Mom, and a few of Cissa’s friends) We went to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook at your table. It was incredible. Mr. Shiny joined us and I have to say, he gives great hug. Whall was there via Skype on Ren’s ipad and we passed him around to say hello. As the ipad got to the end of the table, a shout went up….
Whall was with us! He had been in DC since Thursday and Ren had managed to keep it under wraps. No one-and I mean no one-had a clue that he was actually in town. It was the best prank ever.
After closing the restaurant, everyone went back to our suite. We all hung out on the fold out bed laughing, talking and causing mayhem. The group of young kids in the suite next door was bothered by OUR noise. We were told “Think of the children” when their chaperones scolded us! We called SybilLaw and left a great voice mail. And we took pictures……lots and lots of pictures…..
Things finally broke up and we promised to meet the next day for breakfast and shopping.
Unfortunately, NoVaCon had to come to an end. Some went on to a kite fest, others (us) went shopping and GeoCaching and still others got a jump on the traffic and began their way home. It was the best time ever, full of great friends, great times and great food and drink. It went so well that we are planning on making this an annual celebration. Keep this time of year clear on your calendar so that you can join us in 2012!
I wish I had something worth blogging about. But I have nothing. The same thing is happening every day…..
I get up, walk on the treadmill, shower, eat and watch a movie. I do some paperwork, play with the dog or walk the dog, watch a movie and make dinner. I do laundry, straighten up the house and then hang out with hubs. This is the extent of it. Sometime I change around the order of doing things, but basically that is it. I am sick and tired of winter and I want spring to come.
This week, I’ll be headed to the Philadelphia Union’s first home game of the season. I am, of course, so very excited.
Also in April, I will once again team up with Bubblewench to head to Cincinnati to see our partner in crime, SybilLaw. Then with a bit of luck we will kidnap her and visit MattMan. Ah……I’ve never been so excited about illegal activities in my life!!
My son’s voice sent chills down my spine. The last time I heard him sound like that, his best friend’s brother had died. His footstep running down the stairs accompanied his voice. “What’s wrong?”, I asked.
“Mom, D is using heroin. Oh my God, Mom! What the fuck is wrong with him? Why that?”
Heroin is what killed his friend’s brother. I made him sit and tell me what was going on. My heart broke with every word my son told me. More than the words, the disappointment and grief on Son2’s face was like a knife in my gut.
Roughly five years ago, we all would have worried about M. His mother and two older brothers were users. M would disappear with his girlfriend, a well-known user. None of his friends liked the girl and Son2 was the happiest when he found out that M was finished with her. M gave up smoking pot and now all he does is occasionally drink. He is dating a model and is working and happy and far away from the nasty scene. Unfortunately, ‘the girl’ moved on to D. Knowing how his friends felt about her, he kept their relationship a secret.
On the surface, things were going great with D. He bought a house with his brother and commenced fixing it up. He has a great job and a hot car and according to him, ‘the girl’ had cleaned up her act and only weeks ago, revealed that she was expecting. Lately however, it has come to light that he hasn’t been to work. ‘The girl’ inherited $80,000 and they were binging. One of their friends stayed with them for a few days and learned that the mortgage hadn’t been paid on the house. He found out that D was using, and spent the mortgage money.
This morning, he called their circle of friends.
These young men have stiffened their spines. They rallied around D, and told him to get clean. D, relieved that his secret is out, agreed. They called three rehab hospitals and were told that they weren’t taking in new patients today because of the Super Bowl. What kind of bullshit is that?? Seriously? My son has a friend who works in such a place and managed to have some strings pulled. He called out of work to be there.
It is Super Bowl Sunday. These guys should be drinking beer and eating pizza and wings. They shouldn’t be committing their friend to a hospital. They shouldn’t be breaking news like this to a mother, that her son is going away for a while. They shouldn’t be telling a friend that his brother has put their home and his credit in jeopardy. They shouldn’t be throwing a friend’s girlfriend out of the house.
They should be laughing and high-fiving.
Not hugging and crying.
** D is admitted to a rehab for 3-10 days of ‘assisted detox’. After that, he will be part of inpatient treatment for 30 days. It was shocking to hear that ‘the girl’ lost the baby on Saturday, and more shocking that she lost it again on Monday. The guys are exhausted but have committed themselves to taking turns being there for his family and helping his brother to take care of the house before things get worse. Though it has been only 48 hours since the first sentence, locks have been changed, D’s job is secure and insurance is taken care of. I can’t tell you all how proud I am of these guys for pulling together like this. They’ve been together since diapers and this is what family is about. Send some prayers their way. ~MM
I learned three things this weekend that may seem little to most of you, but that are kinda big to me……
Three…..I was told by a teenage boy–who is not related to me–that it was fun shopping with me. I was in Claire’s with his mom and sister. (Shopping for an eleven year old girl who is overwhelmed by the number of sparklies is a joy I have gladly given up!) We giggled together over the stupid sunglasses and furry hats. I threatened to tell a girl that he liked her. He threatened to act like I was a cougar hunting young cubs. This is a kid that only a few short months ago, was more annoying than the sound of nails on a blackboard. It made me smile….a lot.
Two….I found out that my exercising is starting to pay off again. I have gone from a 44D to 42C. This was somewhat exasperating. I needed to return two bras that I had bought last month and I only expected to exchange them. My friend talked me into trying on two different styles. They didn’t fit me for some odd reason and she begged to see what the problem was. Before I knew it, she was throwing bra after bra over the dressing room door. “Humor me”, she said over and over again. I was getting pissed and I felt like a teenager bra shopping with her mom. I was fed up. She said “humor me” one more and time and I told her that this was the last time. She handed me three more bras that were smaller. They cupped my boobs firmly and yet cradled them way above my belly button. They are pretty. They are floral. They are silky. And she said “I told you so.” Bitch. Yeah, I’ll let her get away with it….this time.
One….Hubs woke up in one of those rare moods. He was playful and I wasn’t. I got dressed to go out, and as I started to put on my coat, I noticed I had a spot on my blouse. And so, I changed. He thought it was funny that I was getting ticked off about the spot. Whatever. Oh and before I put my coat back on, I wanted to rinse my mouth with mouthwash. As I did, I dribbled down the front of the new shirt. He roared with laughter. It was at this point that I was ready to pull on my pajamas and go back to bed. I was still sleepy and not in the mood for playing around. He came to the bathroom door and hugged me. “Why are you getting so upset?” he asked me. “I feel like an ass and you’re laughing.” And then he said….
“I love the way you make me laugh. I love you and you’re so cute.”
Yeah, that one was the number one thing…….That and the french toast he bought me for breakfast.
Yesterday, I had lunch with Bubblewench. It is a very special person that takes a day off of work, and then drives over here just to have lunch and a few laughs with me. I’m so happy to call her my friend.
Sunday was one of those lazy days. Hubs and I stayed in bed until nine or so and then moved to the living room. He made some eggs and I made some coffee. The sun was shining and I opened the drapes to let some of it in.
“Wow,” I thought. “It’s too nice to stay in.” And so I got dressed with the intention of perhaps going for a walk with Bandit. Hubs, however, was still walking around in boxers and a robe. “Maybe you would like to walk with us? We could stop at Dunkin’ Donuts” And so, with the promise of cream-filled baked goods, he started for the bedroom to change. But something outside caught his eye.
“Who’s that outside?” I looked to see a man and woman climbing off of a motorcycle. No one I know travels that way and I told Hubs that they couldn’t possibly be coming to our house. “Maybe she got a wedgie and needed to pull over to fix it. Maybe they’re lost. Maybe they are visiting the old lady across the street.” The possibilities were endless…..
“Nah, Chris. I think they’re coming here.” He quickly made a dash for the bedroom, leaving me to answer the door for these strangers.
But they weren’t strangers! At least one of them wasn’t anyway. It was a woman who had been my best friend in seventh and eighth grade! We hadn’t seen each other since 1982. Since both of her parents had died, I had no way of tracking her down. The last thing that I had heard was that she had married and moved to Delaware.
I ran out the door, and wrapped my arms around her. We laughed. We cried. And we hugged some more. I asked what had brought her to my doorstep. She responded with the old line “I was in the neighborhood.” But I knew that the twinkle in her eye betrayed her lie. She has no family in the area any more and she has lost touch with most of our friends also.
She had made the hour and a half ride just to see me. (As I said, the weather was gorgeous.)
She came into my home with her husband (number 2!) Hubs came out dressed (at last) and we sat down to catch up.
The men sat back, content to listen to our reminiscences, our peals of laughter, our catching up with lives, families and jobs. We spoke of how the old neighborhood changed, of who we still spoke to and who we missed. We recalled sneaking her dad’s whiskey to mix with cranberry juice way back when. We recalled stealing my dad’s smokes to puff while we drank in her back yard.
She was the one in the seat next to me on the first roller coaster I ever got on. She was the one who helped me eat a two pound chocolate ‘kiss’. She introduced me to comedy albums (her favorite was Gabe Kaplan and mine was Steve Martin) I took the blame when we were out past curfew, and I asked her stay overnight when I knew that her dad was plastered and arguing with her mom.
Our time together flew by too fast. We made plans to visit at her home. I will definitely see her when our classmates get together again.
And we will now blow up each other’s phones shooting the shit and becoming best friends all over again……
My son went away for the weekend and turned off the air conditioner in his room. It is a small room and his queen size bed sits below the window. Well, while the AC was off this weekend, it leaked…into his room. Not only did water run down the wall wetting the carpet, but it soaked a quarter of the mattress through to part of the box spring. Now what? Is there any way to dry it out? Do we write it off and try to come up with the money for a new bed? It’s the last thing we can afford right now. I felt so bad for Son2. He had worked all day in the heat, humidity and sun. He had come home long enough to shower, throw food into his face and run to his second job, where Monday is one of the busiest nights of the week. All he wanted to do was crash into his bed. Instead, at one in the morning, I was helping him soak up some of the water and later crying about his shitty luck.
My daughter wants to go to Colorado with her Man and his family in January. They enjoy snowboarding and that is exactly what they will be doing. His parents will be paying for everything but the air fare. When you look at the price of tickets to lots of places, or even the cost of a ski pass to our local Pocono Mountain resorts, the air fare will be cheaper. We can’t really afford that either. I added tears for her to the tears for my son.
I looked into the mirror this weekend and saw my hair. I stop dying my hair every summer because of vacations. If I dye it, the dye fades quickly in the sun or washes out in the chlorine of the pools. It also gives my crappy hair a break from the chemicals. This year, the white hair is more prominent than usual. Hubs likes it. Now I face the prospect of letting the gray grow in. I am cutting back on things and hair dye is not a ‘necessary’ expense. I feel old when I look at myself. Hubs thinks it’s pretty. Oh the indecision….
Our business is slow. But at least we have something. Babygirl may be headed to college, but she can get a job to help out with school expenses or to get herself a plane ticket. She has earned the money to buy her own back-to-school clothes and many of her supplies. Son2 has plenty of his own expenses, and that is the reason for two jobs. But at least he has money to go to the Union soccer games once, sometimes twice, a week (we paid for half of his season tickets for last Christmas-when we had a streak of good income) He can buy a new bed for himself, if he has to. Dying my hair? Well, shit. I won’t be the end of the world if I look my age. Yanno?
My friend’s husband is losing his job-along with 700 other families- when their plant closes.
My friend has little kids, kids who can’t get jobs to help pay for their school supplies. Her kids are too young to fully understand the way their parents will have to cut corners. Her husband will be dealing with the stress and depression that comes with looking for a job and providing for his family. She will deal with standing by her man, saving every penny she can and the heartbreaking task of telling her children “no” far too often than “yes”
I feel so guilty moaning about a plane ticket, a bed, and worst of all HAIR DYE! These things pale in the face of the troubles in front of others.
I light a candle and pray everyday for my friends. I pray for our own financial stability and health. I pray that some of you get back good test results. I hope that you don’t lose your insurance, your car, your home. I pray that you get that job you interviewed for. I pray that this love is the one that lasts.
And I’ve added another friend to my litany of prayers. My dear friend, I hope that something good comes your way soon.
Like many of you, I went to a party this weekend. Like many of those parties, this party involved a pool, a barbecue, drinks, food and friends. This party was different in only one way…
I knew when the invitation was given, that it would be attended by many women……many gay women. That’s not a big deal to me. I don’t tend to think of people like that. It’s none of my business and besides, people are people, y’know? I mention it only because of where this post is going.
I’ve been to other parties where I only know one or two people. There is usually that initial awkwardness, you know, the one in which you get a feel for the humor (or lack of). The one in which you get to know the boundaries, so that you don’t cross it….
I didn’t need to do that this time.
As soon as I got there, I felt as if I were a long lost friend. My friend Skittles and I were the only two straight women there. We tend to get carried away with our laughter and joking and I was a tad afraid of making an inappropriate joke. I was secretly counting on Skittles to keep me in check. But immediately upon our arrival, the laughs began and they never stopped.
The sun beat down on us and the pool was too inviting. A few girls went in and I joined them. If it were another party, I would have hemmed and hawed. I would have been self-conscious about my ‘bathing suit body’. Not here. If it were another party, I would have been on the look-out for the ‘judges’…..those women who, whether on purpose or not, judge the amount of skin that shows, making judgements that “she’s a whore” or “she’s a prude”. Those women who watch every person you talk to and make judgements that perhaps “she’s flirting with my man” when in reality you are discussing sports. Those women who mentally tally up how long you have known the hostess to assure themselves that they are “better friends” with her.
Like I said…if it were another party.
All of these things were a non-issue. They didn’t worry about their bodies and by extension, neither did I. We discussed all kinds of things. I spoke to the significant others and didn’t feel like I had to time the conversation out of fear of what their mate would think. We put sunscreen on each other. You know how touching a man always seem to skew into a ‘sexy touch’? Not here. It was simply women making sure no one got sunburned.
I relaxed….truly relaxed. This was so incredibly different. Even with family, I am tense. I worry that I will say or do something to earn Mom’s disapproval, or I will hurt my sister’s feelings. I feel the judgement – even after thirty years of marriage – of my sisters-in-law. Even with some friends, I feel like my house, hostess skills or cooking doesn’t measure up.
These women accepted me for who I am, and I felt the love.
And then I felt the heartache of knowing that they could be themselves…..but only among others of the same mindset. They discussed how hard it is to find a club that is ‘gay-friendly’. How hard it must be to have to plan a get-together based on where they will feel ‘welcomed’! It made me sad to know that so many people will never know these wonderful, smart, funny women because they can’t set aside the issue of sexual orientation. It made me sad to know that they will go to other parties and be the ones who are judged.