Wednesday June 03rd 2009, 9:29 PM
Filed under: Grant,Honors,laughs

Grant is Cool

The other day, I found this among my comments:

“Daughter’s panties = incest. Face plant into puppy crotch = bestiality.

Okay, this post meets with my approval. Good work. Come get your award.”

So I did.


Did I ever tell you that I absolutely love Grant?  Well, I do. And Japanese bunnies are nice too. :d

Oh, and Grant? Those words brought in hella many hits!!!!


Friday May 15th 2009, 10:15 PM
Filed under: Honors,love,owies

Hidden Heroes


Sunday, May 17 through May 23 is National EMS Week.

My life has been blessed enough that I have never needed to call for emergency aid. Many, many others are not so lucky. But if I did need someone,  no matter the hour, or the weather, an EMT would most likely be dispatched to my home.

These men and women are angels here on earth. I am not saying that they are perfect humans. Far from it. They are very human indeed. They have families. They have responsibilities. They have flaws like everyone else. But when the signal goes out, when someone is in need, all of that is put on a back burner. They focus on the matter at hand.

They see humanity at its worst. The violence, the hatred, death. They also see humanity at its most vulnerable. The injured, the scared, the dying. And they see the families. Mothers crying over their children, children scared because “daddy is hurt” They see these  things and move on. And they carry them in their hearts and heads.

I have the privilege of knowing more than a few of these heroes. Every one will deny that title, but it cannot be changed.

They are heroes. Hug one if you know one and say thank you.

Thursday April 30th 2009, 8:54 AM
Filed under: celebration,happy,Honors,kids

A Letter

Tonight, Hubs and I attended Award Night at Babygirl’s high school. This particular night centered on the arts sector of the school.

All of the hallways were lined with all types of artistic creations. Ceramic torsos, graphic art illustrations, and wood crafts. Paintings, sketches, and carvings. And of course, photography. All of them showed incredible talent, but it was the photography that we were there to see, because my baby was being awarded a letter for Photography/Television. This was the photo that she had displayed:


We sat through the chamber music that was displayed and then took our seats in the auditorium, where we were treated to “The Silvertones”  which is a choral group that was thisclose to being caught up in the Italian earthquake recently. They are reportedly an award winning group among high schools, but really? I don’t get it. I heard clashing tones in varying rhythm speeds and nothing in English. Am I uncouth? You betcha! But I digress….

Babygirl and the other kids who were also receiving awards were called up onstage to receive their letters and certificates. She didn’t want her face shown so this is what you get (She is the one on the left in the blue blouse):


And this?  This is the letter she earned. Can you tell how incredibly proud we are?


Tuesday February 17th 2009, 8:03 PM
Filed under: celebration,Friends,happy,Honors,love

Hey, Little Buddy!

I recently got an award from Miss Amber. Apparently, she feels like she could count on me to help dispose of the bodies. And you know what? I probably would too!

This is a great opportunity to thank the bloggers that I consider to be great friends. In the words of Ozzie Osbourne, ” I love you all, but you’re all fucking mad!”

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Award up to ten other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your awardees on their blogs.

The first award will go to my friend Teri. I was so sick and I put this message on Facebook:

Chris is dying….i just know it….farewell, my friends…..

Right away, I got this response:

Teri at 9:27am February 17
*sobbing* NO, don’t go…..what will I do without you………*hysterical sobbing*
She also says things like this:
Teri at 2:31pm February 15
I heard on the streets that you’re a skanky ho. But I didn’t believe it so I popped him between the eyes and he will be telling no more tales.
See what I mean? Teri, you are my #1, go-to girl!
Other recipients, who are equally important to me are:
Whall– Without you, I’d be nowhere….literally.
Sam-I can send you a message making fun of your pain and you laugh.
GigglePixie-Anyone who likes Guiness, gobstoppers, and gluteus maximus can roll with me anytime!
Janelle-Music and cookies. Yes, I can be bribed.
LovingAnnie-Who else would take all of her blogging friends along for sumptuous meals or nights in a 5-star hotel?

Robin– Because after much deep thought, she has epiphanies like “At least now I know I can do whatever I want for the rest of my life, if I’m already going to hell”. (This means she’d most likely help  me do something illegal!)

Trukindog-Any man who can love a dog like a child is A-okay with me!

HoosierGirl-Even though she is new to the madness of this blog, she has proven to be a good sport and that is important if you want to hang with me!

And finally, BlondeBlogger-For reasons to numerous to count-both public and private.

Monday January 19th 2009, 5:07 PM
Filed under: celebration,Honors,other shit,weather

Did You Know…..?

The President becomes “President” at 12:00 noon. Oath or no oath. If the festivities are ahead of schedule and the oath is administered at 11:49, he will still not be president until noon. Likewise, if they are running late and the oath isn’t administered until 12:10, he has already been president for ten minutes.

I never knew that. So I decided to see what else I didn’t know and I came upon a few interesting tidbits.

1. George Washington’s speech was only 135 words. William Henry Harrison’s was 8,445 words!

2. John Q. Adams was the first to be sworn in wearing long trousers (1825).

3. William McKinley’s was the first inauguration recorded by motion picture (1897), Harry Truman’s was the first to be televised (1949) and Bill Clinton’s was the first televised via Internet (1997)

4. Lyndon Johnson was the first and so far the only one to be sworn in by a woman. (1963)

**== **== **==

10 Facts About Barack Obama

1. He collects Spiderman and Conan the Barbarian comic books.

2. He has read every “Harry Potter” book.

3. He can bench press 200 lbs. (ooh HOT!)

4. He likes to play Scrabble and poker.

5. He doesn’t drink coffee (heathen!!) and rarely drinks alcohol.

6. He uses an Apple Mac laptop.

7. He hates the fashion of jeans sagging below the butt. (They should be abolished!)

8. He took Michele to see “Do The Right Thing” for their first date.

9. He has tried pot and cocaine. (I like that he admits this).

10. His specialty as a cook is chili (He can cook for me. I like chili!)

**== **== **==


Between 1789 and 1993, 35 inaugurations had clear weather. During 10 it rained, and 7 had snow.The warmest inauguration was Ronald Reagan’s first (Jan.20,1981) It was 55*. The coldest was Reagan’s second (Jan 21,1985). It was 7*

**== **== **==

I didn’t just pull all of these factoids out of my ass, y’know. I used

Sunday September 28th 2008, 2:13 PM
Filed under: Friends,Honors,lessons,other shit,questions

Thumbs Up!

Normally, the blogosphere is a vast wasteland of nothingness on the weekend. Everyone is busy with their lives, their children, catching up with yardwork and household chores that take a back seat to their jobs Monday through Friday.

Since I have no life (at least until late afternoon) on Saturdays, I tend to travel hither and yon reading bookmarked posts or trying out new links.


This weekend, I have to give thumbs up to some of you for the posts that you did. We certainly were a feisty, informative, and pissed off group! You guys gave me much to read, much to laugh about and much to think about.

The top five were (in no particular order):

1.  NYCWD-He gave a well written post about doctors, pharmacists and EMTS and some of the obligations they have to us and their prospective oaths.

2.  Dave2-He certainly called foul on John McCain’s claim that he “resolved the POW/MIA issue”. This was an eye-opener to me because I didn’t realize that it was ever resolved!

3.  FlipFlopMomma-The end of world is at hand and now I have all the concrete evidence I could ever need to convince me of this thanks to her tireless research into the ‘facts’!

4.  MattMan-He put the stories of Sarah Palin’s anointing  by Pastor Thomas Muthee into an explanaton I could finally understand.

5.  Sista#1 from Holy Crappers– She exposed the ridiculous requests of teachers (Yes, the one’s who are teaching our youngsters!) All I will say is, there are some real asshats out there!

Thank you to all of you for entertaining and educating me. 

Tuesday September 16th 2008, 8:27 PM
Filed under: celebration,Friends,happy,Honors,Hubs,sex

Banging and Rutting

Two things that don’t show up together any more are “Metalmom” and “interracial gang bang”, so imagine my surprise when I saw that in my links!

I tend to catch a lot of porn links in my spam web. (Along with all the online drug links I could ever want or need!) So I almost left it alone. I mean, really, do I want to click on a link like that and contract a CTD (Computer transmitted disease)?

But then I noticed it was from my friend NYCWD. He loves me more than an interracial gang bang! (Do I really want to know how he can compare us? Umm….NO! I’ll take his word for it!  :))  )


Even though I have already gotten one of these, I will still pass this along to others. I had a hard time choosing before, so this one goes out to the ones I left out last time.


Sistas #1 and#2- Holy Crappers

Insane Mama

I love you guys too!


Hey! Guess what I saw tonight while walking through a park with Hubs? DEER! Four of them! Just standing there in a clearing, looking at us. I thought they were small (and assumed they were young) Apparently they were female and Hubs said “Get the fuck of out of here! Rutting season is close and we don’t want to run into a male!”


We hauled ass out of there really quick!

Saturday August 23rd 2008, 1:17 PM
Filed under: Fantastagirl,Friends,happy,Honors

I’m Grinning Ear to Ear!

Every Saturday morning, as I drink my coffee, I catch up on my feeds from the week. There is always something new to make me smile, laugh or think. But imagine my surprise when I saw this:


This honor was bestowed on me by none other than Fantastagirl. She truly gave me the “warm fuzzies”! Thanks Fantastagirl!

And now, it is time for me to pass it on. There is only one rule : Don’t give it to someone who already has received it, that way we can all share the love.

I am giving this to two of my favorite men-Avitable and Karl. Both of these guys have great blogs. But today’s post (written by Avitable and posted at Karl’s) was….umm… well, it was…OMG! Just go over there and check it out. I have never laughed so hard in my life!!

To Loving Annie-She never has a bad thing to say about anyone, and when it comes to blogging, it is a huge deal!

To Jezebel-This is one funny, funny lady! I don’t think she has felt loved or appreciated lately and she needs to know that I like her!

And to Whall-There is nothing sexier than a funny man and he is it. Every time I read his blog or his comments through the bloggerhood, I laugh. Can one man really contain that much humor?

So there you have you have it, cats and kittens. check out those blogs and see why I love them.  **Let me know if you need bleach for your eyes or brain.


In other news, Lisa has been sprung from the hospital just in time for the Bead Expo. YAY!! Just because she’s out, it doesn’t mean that we can slack off with the good mojo! Keep sending it her way! Love ya, Lisa!!

Thursday May 29th 2008, 2:36 PM
Filed under: Friends,Honors,love,Uncategorized

She Loves You, Yeah,Yeah,Yeah…..


DutchBitch loves meeeeee!

Sometimes the best awards are the ones that come to you unexpectedly, out of the blue. I got up today expecting to be bummed out because I am without water (due to the construction) between 9am and 2pm. Instead, because I couldn’t do all the things I normally do (read: housework) I hung out on the blogs and lo and behold! I got a virtual hug! TA-DAAA! Not bummed!! Therefore I am sending some out willy-nilly myself!

Mr Fabulous-Maybe if I spread the love, he’ll leave my underage daughter alone!

NYCWD-Because I love cereal, and he makes me smile.

Britt-Because when you are so busy trying to be strong for others, you need to be reminded that someone loves you too.

Avitable-For being there for Britt in a way we all want to be.

Absurdist-Because jury duty can take alot out you.

Teri-For sending out a search party.

Flipflopmomma-For thinking that I’d look good in a jumpsuit!

Bubblewench-Because the guy who squeezed her boobs was an asshole.

Libragirl-For hanging out with me all morning when I was

And most importantly- To Wayne-who went above and beyond the call of duty untangling the mess that was “Don’t Wanna Hear It”. If it weren’t for you being there, I wouldn’t be here!!

Okay, kids. Now go pay it forward!!!

Tuesday April 08th 2008, 7:31 PM
Filed under: Absurdist,Friends,Honors,miscellaneous,other shit,questions

This Week on the “Absurdist”

What do firearms, MILFs and nailpolish have in common?


Tune in to the Absurdist on Wednesday for the answer to this question and many more as the Absurdist herself interviews the one and only Metalmom for the next installment of “20 Questions”

 We now return to your regularly scheduled programming….