Normally, the blogosphere is a vast wasteland of nothingness on the weekend. Everyone is busy with their lives, their children, catching up with yardwork and household chores that take a back seat to their jobs Monday through Friday.

Since I have no life (at least until late afternoon) on Saturdays, I tend to travel hither and yon reading bookmarked posts or trying out new links.

This weekend, I have to give thumbs up to some of you for the posts that you did. We certainly were a feisty, informative, and pissed off group! You guys gave me much to read, much to laugh about and much to think about.

The top five were (in no particular order):

1.  NYCWD-He gave a well written post about doctors, pharmacists and EMTS and some of the obligations they have to us and their prospective oaths.

2.  Dave2-He certainly called foul on John McCain’s claim that he “resolved the POW/MIA issue”. This was an eye-opener to me because I didn’t realize that it was ever resolved!

3.  FlipFlopMomma-The end of world is at hand and now I have all the concrete evidence I could ever need to convince me of this thanks to her tireless research into the ‘facts’!

4.  MattMan-He put the stories of Sarah Palin’s anointing  by Pastor Thomas Muthee into an explanaton I could finally understand.

5.  Sista#1 from Holy Crappers- She exposed the ridiculous requests of teachers (Yes, the one’s who are teaching our youngsters!) All I will say is, there are some real asshats out there!

Thank you to all of you for entertaining and educating me. 

Two things that don’t show up together any more are “Metalmom” and “interracial gang bang”, so imagine my surprise when I saw that in my links!

I tend to catch a lot of porn links in my spam web. (Along with all the online drug links I could ever want or need!) So I almost left it alone. I mean, really, do I want to click on a link like that and contract a CTD (Computer transmitted disease)?

But then I noticed it was from my friend NYCWD. He loves me more than an interracial gang bang! (Do I really want to know how he can compare us? Umm….NO! I’ll take his word for it!    )

Delmer

Sistas #1 and#2- Holy Crappers

Insane Mama

I love you guys too!

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Hey! Guess what I saw tonight while walking through a park with Hubs? DEER! Four of them! Just standing there in a clearing, looking at us. I thought they were small (and assumed they were young) Apparently they were female and Hubs said “Get the fuck of out of here! Rutting season is close and we don’t want to run into a male!”

We hauled ass out of there really quick!

Every Saturday morning, as I drink my coffee, I catch up on my feeds from the week. There is always something new to make me smile, laugh or think. But imagine my surprise when I saw this:

This honor was bestowed on me by none other than Fantastagirl. She truly gave me the “warm fuzzies”! Thanks Fantastagirl!

And now, it is time for me to pass it on. There is only one rule : Don’t give it to someone who already has received it, that way we can all share the love.

I am giving this to two of my favorite men-Avitable and Karl. Both of these guys have great blogs. But today’s post (written by Avitable and posted at Karl’s) was….umm… well, it was…OMG! Just go over there and check it out. I have never laughed so hard in my life!!

To Loving Annie-She never has a bad thing to say about anyone, and when it comes to blogging, it is a huge deal!

To Jezebel-This is one funny, funny lady! I don’t think she has felt loved or appreciated lately and she needs to know that I like her!

And to Whall-There is nothing sexier than a funny man and he is it. Every time I read his blog or his comments through the bloggerhood, I laugh. Can one man really contain that much humor?

So there you have you have it, cats and kittens. check out those blogs and see why I love them.  **Let me know if you need bleach for your eyes or brain.

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In other news, Lisa has been sprung from the hospital just in time for the Bead Expo. YAY!! Just because she’s out, it doesn’t mean that we can slack off with the good mojo! Keep sending it her way! Love ya, Lisa!!

DutchBitch loves meeeeee!

Sometimes the best awards are the ones that come to you unexpectedly, out of the blue. I got up today expecting to be bummed out because I am without water (due to the construction) between 9am and 2pm. Instead, because I couldn’t do all the things I normally do (read: housework) I hung out on the blogs and lo and behold! I got a virtual hug! TA-DAAA! Not bummed!! Therefore I am sending some out willy-nilly myself!

Mr Fabulous-Maybe if I spread the love, he’ll leave my underage daughter alone!

NYCWD-Because I love cereal, and he makes me smile.

Britt-Because when you are so busy trying to be strong for others, you need to be reminded that someone loves you too.

Avitable-For being there for Britt in a way we all want to be.

Absurdist-Because jury duty can take alot out you.

Teri-For sending out a search party.

Flipflopmomma-For thinking that I’d look good in a jumpsuit!

Bubblewench-Because the guy who squeezed her boobs was an asshole.

Libragirl-For hanging out with me all morning when I was bored.to.tears.

And most importantly- To Wayne-who went above and beyond the call of duty untangling the mess that was “Don’t Wanna Hear It”. If it weren’t for you being there, I wouldn’t be here!!

Okay, kids. Now go pay it forward!!!

What do firearms, MILFs and nailpolish have in common?

Tune in to the Absurdist on Wednesday for the answer to this question and many more as the Absurdist herself interviews the one and only Metalmom for the next installment of “20 Questions”

 We now return to your regularly scheduled programming….

Yesterday, I received an unexpected mention in a post written by Ms. Sexiness herself, DutchBitch. It seems that the Queen of Dutchlandia was giving out awards to the blogs she considered most worthy of her reading time.

Guess what? I am worthy! I am in good company too. I hope you stop by her place to say hello and see who else made the cut! 

The rules of the award are as follows:

1. Identify the originator of this award, and link so she can get her well-deserved traffic. That would be Kayla at Project Mommy.

2. Pass on at least 10 Excellent Blog Awards.

By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, you have to award it to 10 more people who’s blog’s you find Excellent Award worthy. You can give it to as many people as you want but please award at least 10.

Now I am listing (not in any type of order) my personal worthy blogs.

Bluepaintred, Finn, Shelli, FlipFlopMomma, Grant, Trukindog, Kyra, Nobody, Fantastagirl, and Absurdist.

 Now go forth and multiply!……or something like that.

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In other news…..

It has come to my attention that not everyone in the world is aware that there is a HUGE party coming up in May. That party is TequilaCon’08. Don’t let the name fool you. It’s not all about tequila, although if you want it to be, then okay. Many of you DO  know about it and are coming to Philadelphia just to meet me!!!! (Humor me a little,’kay?) I am seriously excited to meet many of you and Hubs has sworn me to my best behavior (so no group sex, drunken puking in alleyways, or dog fights–I know, I was looking forward to that too!)

If you are anywhere on the East Coast, maybe you could join us. Even if you’re not on the East Coast,you can come too. All the details are posted at runjenrun so go there, contact her, and get in line to meet your FAVORITE blogger…..Whattaya mean, “Who?”…..ME!!!!!

Gather around boys(and girls). After the cooking post, I thought I would give you a little treat. A little girl on girl….wink,wink, nudge,nudge! I wanna tell you about my favorite hunny….

 Many of you know my scrumptious friend, DutchBitch. If you don’t, lemme tell ya…You don’t know what you’re missing. She is the girl I wanna be gay for. I  happen to know that #42 on her list of things to know about her is that if you fuck with her, she’ll fuck back (ooh!) and she hails from Dutchlandia .Not only is she a smart, take-charge bitch, but she has the hots to back that up. We can only dream of licking her stiletto-heeled boots!

Anyway, (before I get too hot!) I wanted to tell you about a great contest going on at The Dutch Files.

On February 27, she will be celebrating her  **th birthday. As part of her celebration, she will give us the opportunity to worship her hotness. The best offering of adoration will be granted a prize! Though  she hasn’t announced the prizes yet, I can attest to fact that she gives great prize.

 This is all you have to do:  ANYTHING YOU WANT!(as long as it is “postable”) This means video, audio, picture, sonnet, nude artwork, or artwork done in the nude…ANYTHING! Judging will be done by a panel of judges (willing to be bribed) All entries must be submitted by midnight,  February 20, 2008.

That’s all there is to it. Be a submissive and show her all the loving you can. Or the lust…Yes…lust is gooood!

I hope I pimped this right….I’d hate to be punished for doing a bad job….Mistress might have to spank me for it…..yes….like that…

I am a writer! To me that seems so weird. I was told repeatedly during school that I couldn’t write a shopping list much less an essay!! PPFFLLTTTT!!! (That goes out to Mrs. Panepinto and Mrs. Prieto!)

I have been awarded this:       by Shelli. She is too kind!!

Those people I’ve given this award to are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honor, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc., etc. Let’s send a roar through the blogosphere! The image at the top right can be copied and pasted onto other blogs. Also, a small size of the award for sidebars can be found over at the writing circle site.

My three things are:

A.   Write what you feel. If you are depressed, go with it. Sometimes it helps to let things out. Do you think you are the only one who feels this way? Think again. Your writing may help someone understand  themselves or others better.

B.   Don’t censor your opinions for the benefit of your readers.(Unless you are a g-rated blog!)You are entitled to your own opinions and if it is your blog, you can say what you want!

C.   Don’t forget that commenting is an important part of blogging too–even if it’s just “I feel the same” or “Nice post” it helps us to know that our point got across. And if you disagree? Fine. Just make your comment and move on without name calling or bigotry.

My writing tips pertain mostly to blogging, but isn’t that what we’re all here doing?And blogging IS writing!

And now ……*drumroll please*

 To Miss Britt for her post “A Glass House With a View”     To MattMan for his most recent posts involving a webcam, singing and Lindsay Roberts.     To Janna for any post containing a list. That girl can tun a phrase (and a stomach!)   To Stacy for her post “Random Mindfulness”, which took me back to a very happy time in my life.   And to LovingAnnie for her wonderfully well written erotica. Although Annie has given up that particular blog, she continues to wite on an equally great blog “The Adventures of Loving Annie”

Check out all of them. If you don’t want to roam, then check out the posts mentioned. Don’t argue with me. Just do it. Seriously. I have on nice shoes and I’d hate to get them all dirty from putting my foot up your ass!

SHOO!

OH MY GOD!!

I can’t believe I’m writing Friday’s post already! This week has gone by so fast I didn’t realize it was almost the weekend! I have gone through some changes. I was a tad angry this week -OKAY! OKAY! I was more than that-I was PISSED! But now, after all is said and done, I’m feeling a bit pleasant….euphoric? No, that’s just absurd. Euphoria only happens when I have sex….or take ecstasy…or have sex while taking ecstasy….but anyway, I’m in a good place,mood-wise.

Some odds and ends:

*I make Finn smile! She has given me a Smile Award!(WAY COOL!) So I will take one now and pass some around to…..FlipFlopMomma, Nobody, Lorelai, and newbies Schmoop (MattMan’s main squeeze) and Amber (yes, you’ve made me laugh already!)

*Joslyn is a much happier child. The tantrums have become few and far between. She naps without a bottle. And she gets rid of her own diapers! (She says”MY CHASH” when it’s time to throw them out!)

*I actually had time to make two loaves of zucchini bread on Tuesday and a pot of homemade Mushroom Soup on Wednesday!! (Lostmahead wouldn’t let me use the ‘magical’ mushrooms-that would have been fucking awesome!)

*My nails got done -finally! I used metallic pink-WHAT ELSE?

*Oh yeah! Something pretty cool is going to happen next week but I can’t tell you what it is yet.You’ll just have to be surprised!

*Hmmm…happy….baking….being fond of the kid….Jeez if I didn’t know better, I might think I’ve had an attitude adjustment!

HA!!! Just fuckin’ witchas!!! Like THAT’S gonna happen!!!

I have been asked to do an interview again. I feel like like Paris Hilton — all slutty and stuff! This time the questions come from Mr Fabulous who knows a thing or two about celebrity. (His name is FABULOUS!) There are other things to tell, so I’d best get started!

1. If I was your next door neighbor, what would I most likely say that I like best about living next door to you, and what would I say I dislike most about living next door to you? The best thing would be that there would never be a dull moment.You could watch me swat skeeters while I rake leaves or peek into my windows and watch me clean house in the nude. The worst thing would be that you could peek into my windows and watch me clean house in the nude. Oh, and occasionally, you’d hear me let loose a string of expletives so bad you’d grow your hair back.

2. If you had to pick one song to define you, what would it be? If you had to pick one song to define me, what would it be? “I’m A Bitch I’m A Lover” would pretty much sum me up and for you, I’d go with “Crazy Train” By Ozzy Osbourne.

3. In a movie about the blogosphere, who would play you and who would play me? Feel free to make any other casting decisions you want to. Hmm. I would be Jessica Biel (I LURVE HER!) DutchBitch (your fiancee) would be Jessica Alba, the role of Janna (your stalker) would be played by Angelina Jolie and for comic relief, Bluepaintred would be played by Tina Fey. You would be played by George Clooney (LOL!!!) And at some point in this movie (since it is fantasy) we’d all fall into a giant tub of jello and wrestle.

4. Do you think science will one day be able to biogenetically engineer a flying cat, and if so, do you think it will be mostly a pet for the home, or will there be military applications for such an animal? How much would you be willing to pay for a flying cat? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT??? I HAD TO LOOK UP TOO MANY WORDS AND THEN –CAT!??? I hate cats. There are no uses for cats other than as a wallet or pillow case. I would only pay to exterminate them. (Before the firestorm–please refer to the name of this blog–thank you)

5. Have you ever met any bloggers? Which three bloggers would you most like to meet? Well, not yet. But in the very near future (like two weeks) I will be meeting “Family Tree Junkie” Teri. We’re taking a mini tour of Philadelphia wall murals. (Graffiti? Maybe, you’ll have to wait to see the photos) I can’t pick three!! I’d like to meet every one of you!!

******************************************************************************* BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!!

Mr Fabulous once asked me what my tattoo looked like.He also asked what Kokopelli was. Here’s the answer:

My tattoo is a depiction of Kokopelli, “a hunchbacked, dancing fluteplayer. He is generally believed to have been a fertility symbol”

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STILL MORE!!

Have you voted for Pointless-Drivel as Best Humor blog? GO! And the show!Pointless-Drivel Live! It’s on tonight — 7 : oo pm ET LISTEN, and CALL IN!!!

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There you have it — a Fabarama of fun! What better way to spend a Sunday?