Sunday January 16th 2011, 10:20 PM
Filed under: fashion,Friends,happy,Hubs,laughs,love,weight


Three Little Things

I learned three things this weekend that may seem little to most of you, but that are kinda big to me……

Three…..I was told by a teenage boy–who is not related to me–that it was fun shopping with me. I was in Claire’s with his mom and sister. (Shopping for an eleven year old girl who is overwhelmed by the number of sparklies is a joy I have gladly given up!) We giggled together over the stupid sunglasses and furry hats. I threatened to tell a girl that he liked her. He threatened to act like I was a cougar hunting young cubs. This is a kid that only a few short months ago, was more annoying than the sound of nails on a blackboard. It made me smile….a lot.

Two….I found out that my exercising is starting to pay off again. I have gone from a 44D to 42C. This was somewhat exasperating. I needed to return two bras that I had bought last month and I only expected to exchange them. My friend talked me into trying on two different styles. They didn’t fit me for some odd reason and she begged to see what the problem was. Before I knew it, she was throwing bra after bra over the dressing room door. “Humor me”, she said over and over again. I was getting pissed and I felt like a teenager bra shopping with her mom. I was fed up. She said “humor me” one more and time and I told her that this was the last time. She handed me three more bras that were smaller. They cupped my boobs firmly and yet cradled them way above my belly button. They are pretty. They are floral. They are silky. And she said “I told you so.”  Bitch.  Yeah, I’ll let her get away with it….this time.

One….Hubs woke up in one of those rare moods. He was playful and I wasn’t. I got dressed to go out, and as I started to put on my coat, I noticed I had a spot on my blouse. And so, I changed. He thought it was funny that I was getting ticked off about the spot. Whatever. Oh and before I put my coat back on, I wanted to rinse my mouth with mouthwash. As I did, I dribbled down the front of the new shirt. He roared with laughter. It was at this point that I was ready to pull on my pajamas and go back to bed. I was still sleepy and not in the mood for playing around. He came to the bathroom door and hugged me. “Why are you getting so upset?” he asked me. “I feel like an ass and you’re laughing.”  And then he said….

“I love the way you make me laugh. I love you and you’re so cute.”

Yeah, that one was the number one thing…….That and the french toast he bought me for breakfast. :)





Thursday January 06th 2011, 2:06 PM
Filed under: doctors,Hubs,owies


Down Again

I managed to spend three days feeling like a normal person. Laundry got done, dishes got washed, floors vacuumed and bills paid. We used every last bit of ‘dinner’ food in the cupboards, fridge and freezer. Hubs and I planned a ‘circle run’  for last night (CVS, Acme and the mall to pick up an order for Babygirl)  Unfortunately, I woke up with a headache. Thank God it wasn’t a migraine, but it was just enough to make concentration difficult. By the time Hubs got home, the nausea had joined in.

Apparently, I was not as ‘over’ the virus of the holidays.

We did the CVS and got all of my prescriptions. We shopped at the ACME and managed to get all that we needed, even though I found myself staring at the shelves. But I was hard-pressed to keep my stomach where it belonged.  Hubs took me home and once the groceries were put away, I went to bed.

It was barely 8:30. I woke up twelve hours later, kissed Hubs goodbye as he left for work and slept again until 11:30 today.

The doctor says this is something going around. There is not much to do but stick to clear fluids…lots and lots of fluids.It appears to last an average of two weeks. If the fever of last week returns, then I have to call him. I hate waiting games.

I find it amazing that the body can be strong and capable one minute and the next, it is nearly crippled by pain or illness. I spent three days feeling happy that I was done being sick, only to get a headache and suddenly I feel too weak to lift my head or stand longer than a minute or three. (Yes I told the doctor, and he laughed. This is common.)

I can’t remember the last time I was hit with a virus that just seemed to cling.  It would be sweet if I could be guaranteed that this would be the ONLY sickness I’d have for the forthcoming year!





Wednesday December 01st 2010, 7:59 PM
Filed under: Hubs,miscellaneous


The Cave

For the first time in my thirty years of marriage, I have new bedroom furniture. When we got married, we bought a new bed, but the bureau was Hub’s while he grew up. From friends and family, we got bits and pieces here and there through the years. We always figured that there was a need for the money elsewhere, and as long as our clothes were put away, it was all good.

There was a local furniture store going out of business and I watched as the prices got slashed for clearance. All I wanted was a chair for the living room. Hubs has been asking for a recliner for years and since we had some “found” money, I suggested we go there and see if there was anything worth buying left on the showroom floor.

We strolled around the store and were surprised to see so many full living room sets. But upstairs held the treasures that I wanted to see…..bedroom sets and recliners!

We checked everything out and were stunned to see that full bedroom sets were far cheaper than we had anticipated. Before I knew it, Hubs had abandoned the search for a chair and was instead looking at the sets.  One by one was ruled out until finally, we had decided between two. The saleslady came to us with numbers and we asked for the best she could do. After consulting with the manager (of course. They are like car salesmen with that ploy…) She came back with a “good” price but we offered her a thousand less. AND THEY ACCEPTED IT!  With a bargain like that, we decided to buy a bigger mattress and box spring too!

And so, I got a new cherry wood bedroom set for Christmas.

 I also have new drapes. They are the same deep shade of red as the pillow cases. I love them. It makes my room feel warm, which it really needed, considering that the walls were white. (I will be painting them beige after Christmas)  Hubs and I were excited that the drapes made the room very dark and cave-like in the middle of the afternoon. This is important to Hubs, especially when he works on night jobs or emergency calls and then needs to make up his sleep during the day. It’s also important to me when I have a migraine and I try to lie in the dark.

There is a drawback that is really hard for me to deal with. It is so dark that my internal clock is out of whack. I have a very hard time waking up in the morning. It is far too easy for me to roll over and go back to sleep. Unless I have something important to do, I lie there and watch tv or play on the laptop.

Ah, the life of leisure is a bitch.

**PS  I still need a recliner!!

 





Monday October 18th 2010, 12:47 PM
Filed under: Hubs,laughs,Movies,other shit


Movie Moments

Yesterday, Hubs took me to the movies. We like to go to the movies once a month or so, depending on what is out there. I think the last one we saw was “The Expendables” (I have an opinion on that that I will let you in on in a second) But this time we went to see “Red”. I was so excited at seeing this because so many of my favorite stars were in it and I wanted to see Helen Mirren blow some shit up.

“Red” ……”Retired: Extremely Dangerous”

We (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘he’) thought the movie was supposed to start at 1:40. When we got there, we learned that it was actually going to start at 2:10. That’s a nice long wait. However, this gave us an opportunity to do something that we rarely do….get seats that were dead center of the theater. I love those seats. I am not assaulted by the soundtrack that booms out of speakers directly on one side of me. I see the entire screen head-on rather than off to the side. I don’t have to tilt my head back because I am too close and I don’t get distracted by the doors opening and closing because I am too far back. We also managed to take our time at the concession stand. We didn’t feel rushed by lots of people who were all anxious to see the same movie at the same time trying to get popcorn from the same poor harried girl. I have a feeling we will do that again some time.

The next thing I noticed, was that this was “Senior Citizen Time” . We went to the movie so early because we had no other plans for the day. It was something to do. But we were surrounded by old people!  “Oh dear”, “My Goodness” and “Well that was violent!”  was heard more than once during the movie. It was a far cry from hearing someone yelling “Fuck Yeah!” when the bad guy gets blown up! A young guy dared to speak during the beginning of the film (it’s one of my peeves and I was highly annoyed.) An old fellow turned around and yelled out ,”If ya wanna talk you can walk the hell out. I sure as hell don’t wanna listen to you talk about cool the movie is. WE KNOW. WE’RE WATCHING IT TOO!”  That is the best thing about old people. They’re too old to give a fuck about making a scene!

This movie was great. If you’ve ever seen an action movie with Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, or Bruce Willis, you need to see this one. They haven’t lost a thing. It had a smart premise, it was well acted, the stunts weren’t ‘over-the-top’ and it was funny. Helen Mirren? Funny, funny lady and she was a gem as spy who missed killing people. To see her in an evening gown and army boots shooting a machine gun was a joy.

 Now this is where I need to tell you about “The Expendables”. I feel that a comparison needs to be made. We saw that one and I was disappointed in it. The story line was ‘meh’ , but I didn’t expect much because it was written by Sly Stallone. I expected big booms and corny “I’ll-fuck-you-up” dialog. But…..I thought they tried too hard. The booms were too big and unbelievable. Stallone as a hero just doesn’t cut it anymore. Mickey Rourke was under used in it as was Jason Statham. I don’t know why it wasn’t better. It had all the old action stars and had the potential to be a really great flick. “Red” was just better. Go see it.

Now the last thing.

Why do we have to sit through the end credits to get one last tidbit? The first few movies that did it actually dangled a carrot of what was going to come in the future. Then it turned into a somewhat funny joke. Now, it’s just stupid and annoying. Everyone jumps out of their seat and makes their way to the exits where they all stand around-blocking the aisles- to see if something is going to be there at the end. “The lights didn’t come on yet! That means a “last scene” ” . I’m tired of them and they have to stop. How about this?  The end. Cast: list the main actors. “Last scene” and then all the other credits. DONE!

Fade to Black.





Monday August 16th 2010, 1:24 PM
Filed under: business,Hubs,ineptitude,other shit


Could You Repeat That Please?

I was sitting on the bed, surrounded by all the invoices saying that my bill was now in collection. (I say “I’m only paying $50 and the hospital says “No, it’s $100 and the insurance company says “Hmm…let’s see….)

Hubs comes home from work while I am in the middle of  ‘negotiations’ and begins to open his mail and messages in the office. I shut the bedroom door so that I can hear myself think and concentrate.

Phone: “Ma’am, can you give me your account number?”

Me: “123-4567-890”

Hubs: (popping his head into the room.) “Who are you on the phone with?”

Phone: “Ma’am, could you repeat the last four digits?”

Hubs: “Who is it?

Me: (gesturing furiously to please wait) “7890”

Hubs: “Is that the plumber?”

Me: “No, it’s not! Can you wait a minute?

Phone: ” That’s not the number? ”

Me: “That’s the number!”

Hubs: “It’s the plumber?”

I swear to God I did not make that up. I’m not that clever.

But I might be clever enough to poison his dinner tonight.

ps: The bill is no longer in collection and I’m only paying $50. Yay me!





Sunday August 08th 2010, 8:02 PM
Filed under: celebration,happy,Hubs,love


Little Things

Sometimes I am so tired I need to get into bed before nine o’clock. I lie there flirting with sleep, never quite getting there.

And then you come into the room. You grab the blankets off of me. You kick me as you get comfortable. You fall asleep before I do, but as soon as I hear your snores, I am lulled into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sometimes I don’t want you to look at me naked. I have gained too many pounds that I  have struggled to lose- or at least tone.

And then you join me in the shower. You wash my hair and rub your soapy hands over all my jelly bulges. You joke about the bulge that presses into my back……the one that is your belly.  We laugh and it echoes off the tiles.

Sometimes I need you to be out of the house. I need time to clean. I need time to vacuum without having to ask you to lift your feet. I need time to shower off the sweat before you get home. Sometimes I just like the quiet.

And then you pull the truck into the driveway. I still get the flutter of excitement at seeing you come home after an honest day’s work. I can’t wait to hear your voice as you tell me about the day you’ve had.

Sometimes I love going out without you. I like to spend time with my friends….all my girls who are likewise out without their men and the guys who’ve left their wives at home. They are the folks I’ve known forever. When we are together, we relive the salad days of our youth- laughing, drinking, dancing and staying out until the wee hours of the morning.

And then I come home and I see you sleeping, not in the middle of the bed, but over to the side. You’ve saved a spot for me. You roll over as I try to get into the bed quietly. I don’t want to disturb you. But you roll over and put your arm around me, and you ask me if I had fun. I tell you yes and you kiss my neck, and wish me sweet dreams.

It’s been thirty years today.

Sometimes you make me mad and I just want to scream. I wonder how we’ve possibly stayed together when we are so opposite.

And then I remember all the little things. It’s the little things that make a life. It’s the big things that can make or break us. We have a lot of little things to remember when the big things get too big.

It’s the little things that make me smile when I think of you.

I love you, babe.





Sunday August 01st 2010, 7:54 PM
Filed under: computers,family,Grief,Hubs,other shit,travel,weight


Something Old, Something New…..

A few things are happening….just a few ….but they are the type of things that keep me from you, my friends.

Something old…..That would be me. Hubs whisked me away for two nights at the beach. We relaxed, met up with my kids for a day on the beach and dinner, and we shared some drinks and smooches. One morning, we rented bicycles and rode them…..and rode them….and-well you get the drift. We rode for forty-five minutes in one direction, turned around and rode back. Lemme tell you, halfway back, I damn near died. My muscles burned, my body spewed off sweat and I could see my thighs twitch with overuse. Yeppers, kids, I am sadly out of shape. Even though I have been exercising, I have been more about the cardio and abs. Apparently, I must learn to do it all.

Something new…..My laptop needs a new fanbelt. It had been overheating a bit and after ruling out overuse and a recalled battery, I discovered that that was what I needed.  And so, my beloved is off for two weeks getting repaired. Which brings me to….

Something borrowed…..In the meantime, I am typing this post on Babygirl’s laptop. This won’t happen very often, I’m sure. I am afraid of doing anything that would compromise this back-to-school purchase.  So….if anything needs to be spilled on here, I will most likely be borrowing the business computer. Ugh! You know how I feel about that!

And lastly, we have something blue…..That would be me. My cousin is not doing very well with her battle against stomach cancer. We only learned of it shortly before Christmas, and she has already nosedived very quickly. I can only hope that she is spared from too much pain. Life is not very fair.

There is also the ‘countdown’ to August 26. That is the day that Babygirl leaves us for her dorm. Yes, I’m blue but also tickled pink–for her. She is excited and so I am, but damn, I will miss her…..

And there you have it.  That’s what’s happening. It’s what keeps me from you all. I hope to catch up with my blog reading because I want to see what YOU’RE doing this summer!!





Friday July 09th 2010, 9:26 AM
Filed under: business,Hubs,owies,weather


Never Fear…

During the preparations for Christmas, Hubs injured himself.

He is one of those manly men who doesn’t want me to help him carry the Christmas tree from the car to the house.  He carried bags of gifts into the house as well as all the groceries that were needed for the Christmas Eve party. He managed to feel a tweak in his groinal area, but never fear. He’ll go to the doctor “after the holidays-when he can afford to take time off”

And so he did. The doctor’s preliminary diagnosis was hernia, and Hubs should go see a surgeon and get that taken care of.  Never fear. He’ll get it taken care of  “after a few of these jobs-when he can afford to take time off”

Before he could do that, the snows began to blanket the Northeast. Week after week it snowed and each time Hubs went outside to shovel the walk, the steps, the driveway. I followed behind him like some kind of yapping Chihuahua…”Stop! Take a rest! Let Son2 do this! Pay the kid next door!  You’re gonna hurt yourself!  You’re not young anymore!”  But, no. “People need generators. I need to take this work while we have it. Soon I’ll take time off”

No, he did not hurt himself further.  He didn’t hurt his back or his hernia.  He worked at the jobs and made people happy. And between the two of us, since the pain wasn’t there, we pushed it out of our minds.

Then came the graduation party.

He removed bushes and put in a garden. He carried folding tables and chairs. He put in a table leaf and got ice for the coolers.  I was the chihuahua once more. “Please let someone help you!”  “It’s easier to do it myself.  Never fear, I’m fine.”

And then, shortly into the party, he did it. He came to  me and said, “I need to take something and lay down. I won’t be able to stand much longer.”  And then, the hosting duties fell on my shoulders.  He spent the next couple of days lying around. We made a doctor’s appointment and I was satisfied…for a bit.

Then there were horrible storms in our area and suddenly people want generators.  (Generator installation is BIG money and will go a long way to holding us over those times when there is no work and the college tuition payments come due)  He still managed to take it easy and did alot of supervising. But there are still some things that cannot be left to my nephew alone. And so, he carefully did his job.

When he finally saw the doctor, we were surprised at his comments. It doesn’t look like a hernia at all.  It looks as if the muscle is detaching from the bone. This is soooo not good.  Yesterday Hubs got a CAT scan which made him horribly ill.  And now we are awaiting the results. 

Would it have made any difference if he had gone sooner? I don’t know. If it were hernia and it had gotten worse, I could say “I told you so”  but now….I just get to worry. I don’t know  of anyone who had this type of injury.  I don’t know how it is treated or how long recovery will be. I want him to get this taken care of right away, but if he does, he won’t be able to help Babygirl and I get ready for her to move into the dorms. I don’t like the not knowing. Looking things up online can be so confusing or misleading. The doctors are fond of saying “X number of weeks or rehab”  I prefer hearing someone who has been through it that says, “The doctor will say 8 weeks but it’s really more like 6” Somehow, while it is still vague, it is more reassuring.

Never fear, whatever it is, I’ll let you know…..





Sunday June 06th 2010, 8:17 PM
Filed under: Anger,assholes,HOT,Hubs,kids,other shit,questions


The “20 Questions” Bitch

Dear Neighbor,

I’m sorry if you think I was rude.  I was sweating my ass off in the sun. I was picking up grass divots while you stood there asking me if  “it’s a hot job?”   You may be a professor of Criminal Justice, but you are as stupid as a rock.  I tried to be polite….really I did. I just didn’t feel the need to tell you how hard Hubby and I were working when it was obvious that we were soaked with sweat.  It was obvious from the shovels and the bags of mulch.

I also tried to be nice to your kids, who kept coming over to ask why we were digging in the dirt, where is my dog, did I squirt Hubby with the hose (Is that how he got wet?)  They are kids and I really couldn’t tell them to go the fuck away.  Besides, how could they know any better when their mother was the one who started the game “20 Questions”?

When you finally went away, I could still hear your whiny, nasal voice cajoling your kids into behaving. “Wanna go in the house? Wanna put on your bathing suit? Why don’t we go get your bathing suit? If we do, you can play in the pool. Do you wanna do that?”  WTF?  You say, “Get in the house and get your bathing suit so we can swim.  No? Fine,  get in the house and take a nap!”  How could you let them walk all over you like that? Why let them get into the pool with their clothes on? You’re a spineless jelly-fish. 

Your spiel never let up. “Here’s the rules! Here’s the rules!” and then “Take turns or else! One…..Two……Eric, take turns now! One…..Two…..”  THE NEXT ONE IS FUCKING THREE!!!!  Now smack his ass and take him into the house, for Chrissake!!!!

Every day we are out there and every day you say, “I should borrow your husband to do my yard”   No, bitch. You have the asshole landscapers who mow your lawns at 8am on a Sunday morning. They are the shitheads who blow all the leaves from your property onto my lawn, which gets cleaned up BY ME!

Don’t you dare ever ask me why the neighbors are so ‘standoffish’  I may have to tell the truth and tell you that it’s all you baby!!

You know that saying,  “Good fences make good neighbors”?  I wish I could build a fucking brick wall.

Not So Cordially,

Metalmom





Wednesday June 02nd 2010, 7:42 PM
Filed under: celebration,happy,Hubs,other shit,weather,weight


It Only Took Five Years!

Wanna know what I’ve been doing? Huh? Are you on pins and needles?

Don’t lie, motherfuckers.

On Saturday morning, while I started to clean the inside of my windows, Hubs decided to clean the gutters. The debris in them was starting to sprout roots. I got the bright idea to use the ladder after him to clean the outside of the windows. I’ve only been begging him to let me use the ladder for about five years. He seems to think that I’ll kill myself, so I can’t use the ladder without supervision and he won’t supervise. IMPASSE! But this Saturday, since he took it out, I used it, cleaning windows and screens. I was happy.

As I began to wash the front window, I heard a saw. I looked down and there he was, hunched over, sawing away at the mostly dead bushes. I was worried that he would hurt his back, but I held my tongue. I was excited that the bushes were going. I’ve only been begging him to get rid of them for the past five years. By 3pm on Saturday, this is what my house looked like:

Naked house front.

It was hot out and humid. We worked our asses off. After showering, all I wanted was a burger and a beer. I went into his office to suggest a trip to Wendy’s but before I could say a word, he suggested a trip to Charlie Brown’s for some drinks and maybe some appetizers.  I jumped at the chance. I ended up eating a huge sirloin burger and washing it down with Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. Yum.  Then we went home and I watched Union defeat Houston. Woo Hoo!

Debris lines the side of the house.

On Sunday, we went to Home Depot, picked up a few things and got started again. I was finally going to get a garden! And it only took five years of begging!!  We tied up our debris, marked out where we wanted our garden and Hubs began to dig it up. I pulled out some ivy on the other side of the house. Eventually, it was too hot and we quit.

Some of our plant purchases.

Monday, we put down some top soil, fertilized, and began placing our plants. It was hot. We decided to take it easier than we had been but not until we had added a layer of black mulch.  Lostmahead stopped in and I asked her to help me sort my basement. I knew there were curtains that I could be using but I couldn’t find them. We sorted for roughly an hour. I found curtains that I had forgotten that I had! SCORE!  I was so happy. After she left, I began washing the curtains and packing up some stuff for Goodwill that had been buried. This was a productive weekend.

This is not the finished result. We still have more flowers to put in. That’s a lot for two old farts with bad backs!

Tuesday, I  ironed and then hung curtains in every room on the first floor. All of the curtains matched! And it only took five years!!

Wednesday, I cleaned a few closets, packed stuff away (in the empty bins that I discovered in the basement) and found a brand new needlepoint kit that I didn’t know that I had!  As I passed through the room, I noticed our scale. So I stepped on it, expecting to see the same old-same old. Imagine my surprise when I saw that I have broken through a target weight!

And it only took five years!