At my nephew Mark’s school, they post the teacher assignments for each grade. Mark has been waiting anxiously for this information. He kept his fingers crossed that it wasn’t Mrs. Warty-face.

He came to my house today beaming from ear to ear.

“Aunt Metalmom!! Guess what! My teacher this year is Miss Vaughn!”

“Gee, Mark, that’s great! You know what they say about Miss Vaughn, don’t you?”

“Yup! “That Veronica Vaughn is one fine piece of ace”.”

(I was going for ’she’s the nicest third grade teacher’ - REALLY!)

 I think we watched “Billy Madison” one time too many this summer.

The other day, Alex and Mark were here. Since my allergies have been kicking my ass, I took Benadryl and lay on the couch for most of the day letting them watch movies. As I lay there, the house began to shake. My ears were assaulted by a most ungodly noise.

The trucks had returned.

One after another, they came. They came to dig, to haul, to tamp. They came to scoop, to pour, to level.

And yes, this is still the work that we were told would be finished by mid-July!

My niece, who knew I had taken pictures before, asked if she could use my camera. “Sure! Why not?” was my reply. It was a way to pass some time since we could no longer hear the television. Little did I know that she would outdo me in the photography department.

All of the following pictures were taken by my six year old niece Alex. (Who wants to be a photogaffer–or a pitcher-taker)

I think she did an awesome job. I swear I did nothing to help her!

The men smiled as they watched her take picture after picture. I think she has some talent. I think she got it from her favorite aunt in the whole world!

My niece and nephew were here today and one of our activities was making meatballs (or more accurately, making Metalmom’s dinner). I have found that when making meatballs or meatloaf, the kids’ hands work the meat better than I do. (Shut up you pigs!!!)

Mark cracked the egg into the dish while Alex poured in bread crumbs. Then they dug their hands in.

I said,”Okay, hands out so I can add the seasoning.”

No response.

I said, “Hands out of the way, please!”

No response. They were too busy squishing the hell out of the meat.

Finally I said,”Hands up!!”

Mark threw his hands up and yelled, “Alex! Hands up! We’re going to juvey!”

I was so proud that not only did he know what “hands up” meant, but he also knew that he’d end up in juvey for non-compliance!

That’s my boy! Who says I don’t teach the kids useful lessons?

Here is what happened:

Son2 had gone to see the Warped Tour, an all day music fest of several different groups. He had fun, got very tan, only had two beers (he stuck to water because of the heat) Around 4:00, he was observing the mosh pit.  Someone fell in front of him and he reached down to help him up. As he started to stand up, he was struck in the face by someone else’s forearm.

As blood gushed from his face, he was assisted to the first aid tent where he was told “Dude, it’s broke. You need to get that set.”

At 5:15, I was informed of this facial deformity BY TEXT! I freaked out and waited for him to get home. I saw my baby’s beautiful face which now had a nose pointing to the left. No swelling, no difficulty breathing. But I still said “Dude, it’s broke. You need to get that set.”

 We went to the hospital and waited. And were treated to the mess that was Motormouth Man. (I will tell you all about him when I get home! He is a whole post unto himself!) After an hour and a half in the waiting room, Son2 was taken for x-rays. He returned and hour later. At 11:30 pm, the doctor entered the room and informed us, “Dude, it’s broke.You need to get that set.”

He will join us for the beginning of vacation. Later in the week, he will return with Hubs to see an ear/nose/throat man to have the nose mushed back into place. He informed us that it really looks bad but he is honestly having no pain.

The mosh pit injuries have always been my fear for him. He works out his aggressions there as do countless others. I always tell him “Be careful in the pit” as he leaves the house. I didn’t say it yesterday. (I know!! It’s not my fault!) But according to him, he feels like it’s time to give them up. He wasn’t even in the pit! He was watching, and was in the right place at the right time to help someone else’s child from possible injury. He was being the hero for once. And his nose got broken for his efforts. *Sigh* (I’m still proud of him for that though)

So that was my Friday night. The action never stops over here. Today will be our last chats until next week. I don’t need any more action!

In roughly 44 hours, I’m supposed to be checking into the motel for a week of relaxation. Note-I said supposed to be. Son2 just texted me that while in the mosh pit of the Warped Tour, he had his nose broken.

Me: Are you sure it’s broken?

Him: Mom, I look like fucking Owen Wilson! First Aid said go to the hospital and have it rebroken and set. Will you set it for me?

What the fuck am I?? Florence fucking Nightingale??

Oh yeah…..Son2 is the one with NO INSURANCE!

Update later……

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Nose-fractured. Set?-No. Apparently no one in a hospital knows how to set a broken nose. We are leaving for vacation as planned. Son2 and Hubs will come back early to see an ENT so that he can have the nose set (after the swelling goes down.) What a night!

Today was a super day. Bright sunshine, low humidity, decent temperature–a perfect day to be outdoors.

I took the kids to the library where we loaded up on stories for quiet time. Then we crossed the street to the “educational” toy store. They should call this the “Expensive-crap-no-kid-wants-to-play-with-more-than-once Store”.  $13.00  for a game of dominos?? Just because the pieces curve? A pot-holder weaver for fifteen dollars?? Gimme a break! Those things are only 4.00 at the local craft store!

Anyhoo…We got ROCKET BALLOONS!!* These things are the shit! We loved this toy. They are annoyingly loud and fly pretty damn high and far. We just have to be really careful to aim it away from the street (don’t wanna cause an accident!) and away from the house (I now have six trapped up on the roof) and away from the holly bushes (because they will immediately pop) and away from the trees (because now I have three hanging from the branches -unpopped, but unreachable    )

We shot these things everywhere and laughed and had so much fun. I was the one who was disappointed when it was time for the mom to show up!

Will I ever grow up? Prolly not! This was a great day!

*This is not a paid endorsement-but it really should be!

As I was checking my email, I came across this.

It is all about the itch. I read it and could not stop scratching. It was all the power of suggestion. A while back, when Joslyn’s sister got lice, I couldn’t listen to her mom tell me about it without getting the heebee jeebees (read: itchy)

Now it is summer. Tis the season for mosquitoes. I get itchy just imagining what the midwest is going through with all the standing water that is a breeding ground for those pests. My neighbor’s yard sinks in one part and since she empties the kid’s wading pool, it fills with the water and then just sits. I can’t take my kids outside into the back yard without the mosquitoes swarming to the little ones. They look like the poor refugees from those third world countries with the bugs gathering around their faces!

A mosquito bite-be it large or small-is enough to keep me uncomfortable all night long with the desire to scratch. I scratch until I bleed. If my fingernails are cut short, I will scratch until I bruise. But ahhh….the relief I feel when I ‘get’ that special spot. You know, the one that makes the itching stop.

Babygirl doesn’t mind the bites. I have said “Use the bug repellent” as she runs off to softball or to hang outside at a friend’s house. Does she ever listen? No. Why? Because she likes to scratch. She enjoys the sensation she gets when she ‘gets’ that spot.

I can tell her about West Nile Virus. She is 16. She doesn’t care.

This is part of one of her creative writing assignments:

I’d graze the bite with a nail short and rough

flooding me with satisfaction

I’d scratch until  I got enough

of performing my favorite action.

We have a full day planned. First we will have fun with Brownies.

NOT THOSE! These:

And then we’re gonna do this:

And then….

Have a great weekend and I’ll catch up with you all later!

No matter what the calendar or the temperature may tell us, Summer doesn’t officially start for me until the day all the kids are finished school for the summer. Today was the first day that I had a full house of other people’s kids.

The weather cooperated wonderfully. The humidity was down, the sun was shining and rain wasn’t predicted until late afternoon (or “drive time” for all of you commuters) I decided that we were going to take full advantage of this.

We left the house around 10:45. A stroller, a dog, Babygirl and I, and five kids. We looked like a parade walking down the street.We made it three blocks before someone had a ‘blow-out’ on her flipflop. We took a hair rubber band and rigged it just so it would hold long enough for the walk.

And walk we did. We walked and walked and walked. We went to the campus of Swarthmore College where it’s a nice shaded walk with plenty of interesting things for the kids to see.

This is what we did today:

Part of the college campus (Photo taken by my nephew Mark -7)

This and the next are views of the Amphitheater where we stopped to play.

Then I showed them important stuff.

I’m all about educating the yung’uns. This summer, the theme is “green”

They learn by example. See how well he practices?

Those ankle-biters had a good time.

After all the learnin’ and walkin’, we made our way home.

Wanna know what I learned? I’m not as young as I used to be. My legs are killing me.I need a hot bubble bath, a couple of Motrin, and nice comfy bed!

Babygirl asked me a question and honestly, she stumped me. “What does the saying ‘The son of a duck is a floater.’ mean?” Is that a saying? If it is, I’ve never heard it before. But on the subject of ducks….Why do they float if you toss them into the water?

I was eating marshmallows (again) and I was told “Fluffy food, fluffy hips” True? I prefer to think of my hips as poofy.

I was watching TV and I saw a commercial for Sam Adams beer. In it, they talk to a few of the brewers. One is bald and has a long goatee. I think he looks suspiciously like Trukindog. Hmmm…….Trukindog likes beer……Dude, do you have a hobby that you’ve failed to let us in on?

Speaking of watching TV……Did anyone watch “Swingtown”? Whoa!!! Hot show (and hot Grant Show!) Does anyone know where this town is? Not that I want to live there…….but I might want to check out the real estate……for ……research! Yeah, that’s it! That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!