Finn asked, “What do you think about when you’re alone and it’s quiet?’
Okay so, I was sitting here last night. I had taken off my headphones because I wasn’t finding music that matched my mood. Hubs had gone to bed hours before and the kids were also in their beds. Stupid Me had decided to have not one, but two, cups of French Vanilla coffee after dinner and it looked like I was up for a while.
At one point I looked at the clock. It was midnight. My mind was just….buzzing. I don’t know what you would call it, but that’s it. No words, no full thoughts, nothing but static. I wanted to write. If I could just find a topic, somewhere to focus that mental energy, I would be fine.
Nothing. And so I asked my questions.
This morning, I sat to answer them. The television is off and I am alone. All I can hear is the songs of birds and an occasional car going by. Some of the things on my mind are fairly normal…..What to have for dinner? What is the dog chewing on? Where is my other shoe? Where can I find a Bunny for Grant?
But I also noticed something else.
There are alot of ‘shoulds’.
I should do laundry. I should mail those invitations. I should exercise. I should get rid of that chair.
So I turned them off and changed to “I wish”
I wish I could travel more. I wish I had some skills that I could use for employment. I wish I could see my friends more. I wish I had something to do this weekend. I wish Hubs would quit smoking (more than anything in the world.) I wish I could punch Grant in the junk so he’d focus on something other than ‘bunnies’. I wish I wasn’t so lazy.
Well, I can’t change alot of those things overnight, but I can do two of them today.
I’ll call my friends and see if we can do something together this weekend.