Monday October 18th 2010, 12:47 PM
Filed under: Hubs,laughs,Movies,other shit

Movie Moments

Yesterday, Hubs took me to the movies. We like to go to the movies once a month or so, depending on what is out there. I think the last one we saw was “The Expendables” (I have an opinion on that that I will let you in on in a second) But this time we went to see “Red”. I was so excited at seeing this because so many of my favorite stars were in it and I wanted to see Helen Mirren blow some shit up.

“Red” ……”Retired: Extremely Dangerous”

We (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘he’) thought the movie was supposed to start at 1:40. When we got there, we learned that it was actually going to start at 2:10. That’s a nice long wait. However, this gave us an opportunity to do something that we rarely do….get seats that were dead center of the theater. I love those seats. I am not assaulted by the soundtrack that booms out of speakers directly on one side of me. I see the entire screen head-on rather than off to the side. I don’t have to tilt my head back because I am too close and I don’t get distracted by the doors opening and closing because I am too far back. We also managed to take our time at the concession stand. We didn’t feel rushed by lots of people who were all anxious to see the same movie at the same time trying to get popcorn from the same poor harried girl. I have a feeling we will do that again some time.

The next thing I noticed, was that this was “Senior Citizen Time” . We went to the movie so early because we had no other plans for the day. It was something to do. But we were surrounded by old people!  “Oh dear”, “My Goodness” and “Well that was violent!”  was heard more than once during the movie. It was a far cry from hearing someone yelling “Fuck Yeah!” when the bad guy gets blown up! A young guy dared to speak during the beginning of the film (it’s one of my peeves and I was highly annoyed.) An old fellow turned around and yelled out ,”If ya wanna talk you can walk the hell out. I sure as hell don’t wanna listen to you talk about cool the movie is. WE KNOW. WE’RE WATCHING IT TOO!”  That is the best thing about old people. They’re too old to give a fuck about making a scene!

This movie was great. If you’ve ever seen an action movie with Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, or Bruce Willis, you need to see this one. They haven’t lost a thing. It had a smart premise, it was well acted, the stunts weren’t ‘over-the-top’ and it was funny. Helen Mirren? Funny, funny lady and she was a gem as spy who missed killing people. To see her in an evening gown and army boots shooting a machine gun was a joy.

 Now this is where I need to tell you about “The Expendables”. I feel that a comparison needs to be made. We saw that one and I was disappointed in it. The story line was ‘meh’ , but I didn’t expect much because it was written by Sly Stallone. I expected big booms and corny “I’ll-fuck-you-up” dialog. But…..I thought they tried too hard. The booms were too big and unbelievable. Stallone as a hero just doesn’t cut it anymore. Mickey Rourke was under used in it as was Jason Statham. I don’t know why it wasn’t better. It had all the old action stars and had the potential to be a really great flick. “Red” was just better. Go see it.

Now the last thing.

Why do we have to sit through the end credits to get one last tidbit? The first few movies that did it actually dangled a carrot of what was going to come in the future. Then it turned into a somewhat funny joke. Now, it’s just stupid and annoying. Everyone jumps out of their seat and makes their way to the exits where they all stand around-blocking the aisles- to see if something is going to be there at the end. “The lights didn’t come on yet! That means a “last scene” ” . I’m tired of them and they have to stop. How about this?  The end. Cast: list the main actors. “Last scene” and then all the other credits. DONE!

Fade to Black.

Monday April 05th 2010, 9:53 PM
Filed under: Friends,happy,kids,Movies,pets,questions

3D Job Walk

I’ll keep it short and sweet:

ONE:  I went out with a friend on Saturday night. We saw “Clash of the Titans” and had some good food and even better conversation. Even though I had heard less than glowing reviews of the movie, I enjoyed it alot. This time, I managed to remember my earplugs. I heard the entire movie and avoided a nasty headache. Bonus!

TWO:  I have a ‘mini job’.  Just before Christmas, I had taken a little girl, Mackenzie, to school and picked her up afterwards. Well, now because of new ‘custody arrangements’ , her mom is needing me every day. I take her to school, get her afterward, and keep her for a few hours. This is a good thing because it brings in a few extra bucks….and who doesn’t like that?

THREE:  I took my dog for the first ‘long walk’ since I finished having my back procedures. I walked for about half a mile before turning around to start going home.  I will say that I am very happy that I was able to do that without aching, crying or whining. I wish I could say the same about my lazy sweet fatass doggy. Halfway through the walk home, he decided to sit down for a bit and then tried to get me to pick him up and carry him. No way! If I am going to walk away my fat ass and flabby thighs, then he will too!

So, that’s it. Not a whole lot new. Just enough to keep me on my toes. I’ll probably have a bit more in the days to come (Mackenzie is a little spitfire!)

Oh yeah… more thing…..

“Alice in Wonderland” was a high grossing movie. Now “Clash of the Titans” is also making tons of moolah. Well, of course they are making lots of money! I had the option of seeing COTT in regular or 3D.  The difference?  The 3D ticket cost almost double!!  Worth it?  To me it was, but do they make adjustments for that when they announce that a movie is a high grosser?  I don’t know. I just wondered……

Sunday July 20th 2008, 1:50 PM
Filed under: fantasy,Movies,other shit

I Ain’t Clownin’

I have never been one to suffer from coulrophobia-a fear of clowns. I have been to the circus and haven’t had a strong reaction to them. The guy down the shore in the dunk tank–while being nasty in his baiting of passers-by–has never frightened me either. I think I have always hated them strictly on principle. Men in make-up… how very Dee Snyder!


I’ve seen the movie “It” and Tim Curry made me laugh with his sneery threats.


I have also seen “Spawn” and John Leguizamo knocked the clown character into a new era of creepy, sarcastic sadism.



Alas, still not scared.

Perhaps I didn’t find them scary because the character was a clown. I viewed each movie with the understanding that, much like Godzilla was the monster, the clown itself was the character.

Most recently, I have found myself getting…..creeped out. The clowns that creep me out now are men. Men parading as clowns. The first of these was Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding in the Rob Zombie films “House of 1000 Corpses” and “The Devil’s Rejects”. I think he scared me because his character,a member of a sadistic,murderous family, could possibly be real.


Last night, I met the new focus of my clowny fear. Heath Ledger as “the Joker” earned every word of praise that has been heaped upon his portrayal in the current Batman release. His extremely dark sarcasm and over the top expressions were beyond the ‘creeped-out” stage. The fact that it is possible for a person to become insane makes the character downright scary. Just viewing the Joker in the movie trailers has been enough to make me uneasy.


Yes. Even though I felt uneasy with the trailers, I still went to the movie…..AND LOVED EVERY SCARY SECOND OF IT!

*and then I came home and had a bad dream……..a very bad dream……..mission accomplished, Heath.



Wednesday June 25th 2008, 5:55 PM
Filed under: meme,Movies,survey

Movie Mania Meme

Yeah, yeah, yeah….I know. You’ve seen this everywhere and we’ve all stolen it from Avitable. Why argue with genius? He took the top 100 movies of the last 25 years, as stated by Entertainment Weekly. Then he bold-faced the ones that he has seen and asterisked the ones he liked. I’m a copycat, so I did too.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)**
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)**
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)**
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)**
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)**
9. Die Hard (1988)**
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)**
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)****
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)**
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)**
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)**
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)**
21. Schindler’s List (1993)**
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)**
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)**
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)****
34. Fargo (1996)**
35. The Incredibles (2004)****
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)**
37. Pretty Woman (1990)**
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)****
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)****
42. Clueless (1995)**
43. Gladiator (2000)**
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)**
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)**
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)**
50. The Piano (1993)**
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)**
55. Risky Business (1983)**
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)**
58. Ghostbusters (1984)**
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)****
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)**
63. Big (1988)**
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)****
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)**
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)**
72. Thelma and Louise (1991)**
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)**
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)****


82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)**
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)**
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)**
91. Back to the Future (1985)**
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)**
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)****
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut (1999)

Where is Braveheart? What about Stand By Me? Sin City? Shaun of the Dead? 21 Grams? No SuperBad??? ANY MOVIE MADE BEFORE 1980???

But I digress….

Just from this list, I’ve seen seventy-nine. With an average running time of two hours each……that’s one hundred fifty-eight hours. That is roughly six and a half days–almost a week watching just these movies. That is not even counting the time spent watching them over and over again! Add to that the time spent watching so many, many, many, many other movies…..

I need a life!

Sunday March 23rd 2008, 9:50 PM
Filed under: lessons,miscellaneous,Monday,Movies,music,other shit,questions,Turnbaby

Monday Moaning-Overkill

Sunday night was trivia night on Turnbaby’s radio show. I like trivia. I have a gift for remembering stupid shit. But ask me to make a doctor’s appointment for you or tell me that a bill needs to be paid PRONTO and I will forget that I ever heard it.  This tends to get me into a lot of trouble.

But that is not what this post is about. If you have been here alot, (okay maybe ever) you might know that I like my music loud, fast and angry. (Kind of like my sex) This doesn’t mean that I have no knowledge of other types of music. But I have noticed something more recently. During the trivia quizzes, I have been getting alot of those answers right! I am talking specifically about 80’s music.


I really hate 80’s music. If I hear it on the radio, I’d rather drive in silence. Seriously. I make alot of jokes about not liking Duran Duran, or the Pet Shop Boys but I asked myself…WHY? I opened my ears to listen and I noticed that some of this music isn’t half bad. I know all the words.I know the riffs. I know the performers. But why don’t I like it?


When these songs were new, they played on the radio constantly. MTV was just as new as the videos they played. The songs were put into heavy rotation. Lots of coming-of-age movies that were set in the 80’s used all of those same songs too. I became disgusted with listening to them and gave up on radio and videos in favor of casettes and this new thing called CDs. During movies, I would tune them out during the montage that seemed to be a requirement for the films. I realized that I missed huge chunks of movies because of the music. It was usually my cue to take a bathroom or snack break.

So I am wondering, is there anything that was ruined for you by overkill? A single movie played on tv constantly? A TV show that reruns repeatedly? What has been done to death for you?

Monday February 18th 2008, 12:04 AM
Filed under: contest,Friends,happy,meme,Monday,Movies,other shit,questions,quiz,survey,Uncategorized

Monday Movie Mania with Metalmom

 Before I get going on my post, I’d just like to apologize to Miss Britt for beating her down last night at trivia in Turnbaby’s house. She put up a valiant fight as did MixedNut, Hilly, Absurdist and Shiny. The trash talk was all in fun and you, my dear are quite a worthy opponent!


1.  What movie is guaranteed to make you laugh? “Joe Dirt”  I can watch it over and over and still laugh at David Spade’s mullet and Jaime Pressley’s redneck girl. I invariably end up saying “Dang” for the next twenty-four hours!


2. What movie is guaranteed to make you cry? Roberto Begnini’s  “Life is Beautiful”. The scene where he is broadcasting his son’s voice over the PA system to the mom kills me every time.

3.  What movie is underrated? “Four Rooms” It is four vignettes tied together by a maniacal performance by Tim Roth as ‘the bellboy’. It boasts a star-studded cast, eccentric characters and directed by Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Allison Anders, and Alexandre Rockwell.

4.   What movie is overrated? “It’s A Wonderful Life” I know! Christmas classic and everything, I just don’t think it rates being played so frequently for the Holidays. Why not show it all year around? Mind you, I didn’t say I hated it! I just don’t think it’s all that.

5.   Is there a movie that you will wake up for? “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” This is one movie that I don’t own and I LOVE IT! Bette Davis is in all of her demented glory as Jane and Joan Crawford as the bed-ridden Blanche is just too good for me to miss. Yes, I will set a clock and get up at three or four in the morning!


6.  Is there a movie that will put you to sleep? “Patriot Games” with Harrison Ford. We own this and have chosen it together and I have yet to see it all the way through. I love Harrison Ford, but his presence onscreen isn’t enough to keep the sleepys away!

7.   Is there a movie that you have memorized? “The Princess Bride” Who doesn’t have it memorized? It is one great line after another! “Mawidge! Mawidge is whot bwings us heah togever today!” I fuckin’ love this movie!!


8.   Is there a movie that you hate? Oh I’ma die for this! I hold the hate of a thousand burning suns for the movie…..”the Notebook” Yeah, she’s got Alzheimer’s and he loves her and it’s their story he’s reminding her of, but you know that from the beginning and I can’t help but scream “GET ON WITH IT!!” I hate this more than “The English Patient” and I really hate that one too!

9.   What is your favorite movie musical? “Chicago” -Murder, mayhem, trial, deceit and women in the hottest costumes…what’s not to love?

10.  Do you have a favorite ‘bad’ movie? “The Toxic Avenger” It is SO bad that it is good to watch. The acting is horrific, the lighting is atrocious, and the script itself are all so bad I can’t believe that ANYONE actually said the words, “That sounds like a great idea for a movie! Let’s do it!” I watch it in amazement and laugh at the absurdity.

There you go. Some Movie Mania for a Monday. I just got nothing worth bitching about, so I give you a little more insight into Metalmom!

Tuesday January 29th 2008, 10:20 PM
Filed under: desire,ineptitude,miscellaneous,Movies,music,other shit,pets

Odds N Ends–Mostly Odd

I just have a coupla things to post. First…For Bluepaintred and all the others who requested a picture of my new love… BEHOLD!!


(Soon to be mounted on the wall above it)

Oh yeah, Slick, see the big bad mean watchdog? He’ll bite you if you try and take it.

Secondly,Babygirl bought me a new book. It’s called “Ipods for Dummies”. I can play solitaire and listen to the songs that she loaded for me. I have yet to download a single song myself. I am inept.

And thirdly….My puppy has decided that his shit is the greatest thing in the world. Now…How do I get him to stop trying to eat it? My dog is a freak.

Hubs is calling……I gotta go see what is different about “Night In the Museum” on Blue-Ray. Oh yeah…did I mention that I got a Blue-Ray player FREE with the television? YAY,ME!!!

Sunday September 16th 2007, 11:15 PM
Filed under: Anger,family,fireworks,Hubs,love,Monday,Movies,other shit

Monday Moaning-Alone Together



Let the bitching begin!….

I currently hate my husband. (Not seriously) I am sure the men will agree with him and I’m hoping a woman or two agrees with me.

Saturday and Sunday were slow, boring days. Yes the weather was nice. Yes, there was yardwork to be done. Yes, no one was aching or sick. Blah , blah.. We had nothing to do. That’s the problem.

We are polar opposites. He likes the morning, golden oldie music, and no sports. I HATE the morning, love heavy metal music, and I like baseball, hockey and soccer.(And some football-just don’t ask me to have a coherent conversation about it)

Do you want to watch a movie? Ok-What? I don’t know. You pick.(This conversation may be started by either one of us) No matter what movie gets picked , the other one hates it. I like some comedies, foreign films, or dramas(More action than love) He prefers action, cartoons, or ‘Hero’ type movies. I can watch a movie once or twice a month. Hubs, however must worship Ted Turner, because he can watch the same damn movie over and over. Two , three times a week,or several times a month. Will it end differently this time??? NO!!!  Yet he still seems amused or surprised!

He turned on “The Good,The Bad and The Ugly” for the bajillionth time and got engrossed. Well, I love Hubs so I went on the computer to hustle my friends at scrabbulous. I was accused of deserting him! When I got off the computer to do laundry, he decided he wanted to play solitaire and deserted ME!!!

Now, ladies, I know some of you are football widows. And men, well, do you notice that we’re not in the room? Any way …Got a solution? I’ve asked him to play cards with me, but NOOO! NOW WHAT???

Even when you love the person you’re with, what makes you want to STRANGLE them???

Sunday July 22nd 2007, 11:18 PM
Filed under: Anger,business,family,lessons,Monday,Movies,other shit,questions

Monday Moaning (or Fuck You, Mr. Turner)

Monday is here yet again. Today I have a beef, with a Mr. Ted Turner.


 Dear Mr. Turner,

     This weekend I had the misfortune of being stuck on my back . Lucky for me I enjoy television and movies. My entire family enjoys movies immensely and we happen to own hundreds (seriously) in various genres. This was to be the only thing that would save me from total madness.

     You see, Mr. Turner,I have seen my movies repeatedly and this weekend I was looking for something to watch that would not require me to keep getting up and down to change what I was viewing. YOU  made this impossible.

     I thought you owned the rights to thousands of movies and former television shows. If this is true, then could you explain to me why you choose to  show the SAME  50 or so movies over and over again?? Yes, I will admit,these 50 are very good movies but the enjoyment is tarnished after the 6th or 7th time I view them in a WEEK!!  If you own the series of movies, try showing them IN ORDER!! A marathon would be part1,then 2,then 3-Not part 3,then 1 and then 2! If I tune in to enjoy a movie on Tuesday night, what makes you think I also want to watch the same movie at the same time on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday?

     I gave up on the movie channels and tried cartoons because I can be easily amused when I am taking pain meds. I ended up looking at the same 3 episodes of “Billy and Mandy” that you run every other day of the week! Talk about a buzz kill!! What’s on Boomerang? The same 3 episodes of the Flintstones!! What the fuck is your problem? *TIP* you’d be even RICHER if you gave the people what they want! Assholes like you make it easier for me to buy a movie or better yet, a book.

       Will I give up on TV? No. It is my crack. Will I get TiVo? You betcha!! And I’ll watch what I want, when I wanna and you can suck my dick!




 In other news Michael has gotten his new site up and running and you should update your blogroll and make sure you’ve got the new one in there. He’s celebrating by having a contest to win some great prizes , so get over there and check it  out!  Our girl Bluepaintred has opened herself a new site ,too. Blue, you have to cut back on the coffee!! Isn’t one blog plenty?? Go visit this new site of hers. She’ll make you laugh over there  too!                                                                                                                         

Friday July 13th 2007, 12:20 AM
Filed under: family,kids,miscellaneous,Movies


Well Kids, Mommy’s a little dosed up tonight and she’s going to bed in hopes of a better tomorrow.. So I (babygirl) will be your babysitter! SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE F*** UP!

Tonight Mommadukes, Poppadukes, and I hauled ass to see Transformers at our local theater which leaves me to say THAT KICKED SO MUCH ASS!

Lets have a little history lesson before I go on with my tiny movie review.

1984, the year of the album “Beat it” by Micheal Jackson, the “Wheres the beef” phenomenon, and The first apple computer, was also distinguished by a small toy line by Hasbro called Transformers. From 1984 on people went nuts over them.

trans·form·er (trāns-fôr’mər)

  1. One that transforms, or reconstructs itself, into a common and innocuous form, such as a car, an aircraft, a device, or an animal.

Followed by the famous tagline “More Than Meets The Eye” and “Robots In Disguise”.

The Transformers originally featured two main factions battling for control of their home planet, Cybertron. The Autobots, were led by Optimus Prime, and their opponents, the Decepticons, were led by Megatron.

In case you didn’t know. (If you didn’t stick your head in a toilet and FLUSH 12 TIMES!)

Theres robots, fighting, and a plot to boot. Thats great and all but I’m bothered by this:

See how gross, dirty, and sweaty this girl is? Why is it that not once- with all the fighting and mad dust flying around- did she not wipe her eyes and smear her mascara??! Through the whole movie she had perfect mascara! Shia LeBeouf was gross, everyone was gross, even the rest of her was gross, but not the eyes!

Yeah she was gorgeous and such but COME ON?!

This causes me to ask a question.

Maybe shes born with it? Maybe it’s Maybelline?


My mom says you peeps have chickens and I advise you to take them to see it (especially if you got boys!) Not too scary if they are over six. Beat the heat in the cool air conditioned theater! There’s no fat men without shirts like at the pool, but there is yummy Josh Duhamel and Shia Labeouf to feast your eyes on!


Nice chatting with you!