Saturday dawned early…far too early for me.
Five am is no time to wake up when you have a migraine. At first I thought that maybe I was hung over. But as time passed (excruciatingly slow, I might add) I realized that it was going to be worse. I got pukey sick and my head felt like it was crushed by a truck hurt like the dickens. I began to get the chills and then I got the sweats. Eventually Bubblewench and Sybillaw woke up and we decided to get breakfast. I hoped that maybe some pancakes would soak up whatever was breaking out of upsetting my stomach. After eating, we returned to the room where I promptly fell asleep like a dead woman on the couch. I slept so deeply that I heard no one enter or exit the room.
During my slumber, I missed a trip to see the horses, a shopping excursion, a tattoo outing, lunch, and just socializing. But apparently I needed my rest because I awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I was finally ready to go to ConFab!!!
We called for a cab so that Bubblewench could get her drink on with us. (As you can see, we are quite responsible when getting shit-faced). When we arrived at Bliss Manor, some folks were relaxing on the deck, others were by the outdoor bar, and still others were indoors. I got to meet such a supah blogger named….wait for it….DUTCHBITCH!!! Yes! She had made the trip from Dutchlandia. She was every bit as beautiful in person as I knew she would be!
Turnbaby was a busy little bee. No catering for that chick! She gave Martha Stewart a run for the money by making a slew of appetizers, beef tenderloin, and many other mouth-watering joys. Now that my stomach was better, I tried every.single.thing. Miss Turn was incredible, as was Mr Fabulous. They greeted us all and made sure that we all had full glasses, plates and conversations.
The drinks were…..
Ahh, the drinks……How to describe? Maybe this will do:
This was the tip of the iceberg as far as alcohol goes!
And then…..Mr Evil Sadistic Fabulous brought out a tray of concoctions that was the downfall of many a blogger…….JELLO SHOTS!
There was much eating, much-much drinking, laughter, singing, chatting…..as well as tweeting….go figure….
Eventually all good things must come to an end. Since Bubblewench had left with others, Sybillaw and I were left behind. Lucky for us, Lynda was sober enough to drive us to the hotel, where we discovered that neither of us had a key for the room. We banged and complained (loudly) before staggering our way to the lobby for a new one. We got into the room and there was no sign of Bubblewench! She had gone to party with other bloggers in the hotel and that’s why no one opened the door!!
Everyone had a wonderful time. New friends were made and old friendships were tightened. And may I add….the best shirt of the party:
I hope that I have an opportunity to meet all of these folks again. They are a wonderful bunch of people……
But we already knew that.
Drink count for the night: 2 extra superduper strong vodka and cranberry juice (Thanks Sodapop!), 5 bottles of water, 1 shot of moonshine….although I cannot remember if I actually did one. And jello shots: 1 coconut rum, 1 spiced(?) rum, 2 or 3 with vodka and the one made especially for me: Orange jello with Southern Comfort. I think I had 5 or 6…..I can’t remember that either…
The Night Before THE NIGHT
ConFab has come and gone. An excellent time was had by all. I will attempt to tell you of all the fun.
Brad and Liz were the ultimate host and hostess. There was plenty of food and copious amounts of alcohol consumed by one and all. They seemed to be everywhere at once, making sure that everyone had a drink or a plate of food while cooking all sorts of culinary delights. They greeted each and every guest, acting as though we were all “family”. For this, Bubblewench and I rewarded them with a gift from our neck of the woods: Tastykakes. (YUMMY)
After settling in, napping up, and getting pretty, Sybil Law, Bubblewench and I joined the others at Southland for a night of drinks and fun. On the big screen, Becky watched her beloved Penguins win the Stanley Cup. So great was her happiness, that she bought a round of Patron shots for the entire bar to celebrate. And then……
I, a Philadelphia native and Flyers fan, drank a congratulatory toast to the the Penguins. *I hang my head in shame*
Other shenanigans were afoot. Photos were taken (both Friday and Saturday) that showed me more than I ever wanted to know about my friends and their sexual prowess. I’d love to tell you all about it all, but ConFab is like fight club and Vegas….it all stays there.
Can we talk about karaoke? For sure! Brad and Liz are old pros. This is something they do frequently, so of course they jumped in right away. Karl gave his awesome serenade to Brad, Marty was incredible, and there was Coal Miner’s Granddaughter. This seemingly proper and low-keyed woman gave a rousing performance of Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back”. But this was not the one I was most impressed with. Laci, a new friend, stepped onto the stage and sang Bare Naked Ladies’ “One Week” This is a difficult song to sing totally sober. Laci was not. She sang the shit out of that song, not missing a word or a beat. She claims to have skipped a verse but I couldn’t tell.
Unfortunately, I was not feeling my best. It turned out that I was sick, but I didn’t know just how sick until the next morning.
Drink count for the evening: 4 waters, 3 beers, 1 Duck Fart, and 1 shot of Patron silver.
I sat around bored all morning, bored and looking for something to do. Finally, I went out with my friend for a little shopping. I was only gone for an hour! I came home to find out that the biggest event to hit the blogosphere had occurred!
Turnbaby married her funnyman, Mr Fab.
Congratulations,you crazy kids.
May every happiness be yours!
This Just In….
Sunday April 27th 2008, 10:54 PM
Filed under: doctors
This just in……Babygirl. She is finally home. I know ya’ll are prolly sick to death hearing about it, but I missed her something awful. She had a wonderful time, saw many wonderful things, and she claims to have brought home souvenirs for everyone (even though I have yet to see one of them!) She was in one piece, not pregnant and never got cavity searched by customs.
I had a great time hanging out with everyone at Karl’s, Hilly‘s and Fab‘s. (Sorry I missed you Turnbaby, but the kid trumped you on this one.) Jester, you are one seriously funny dude! The prank phone calls?……..pure gold! And VulgarWizard? LOOOVE the accent!
And lastly, My carpets are getting shampooed….and I’M NOT THE ONE DOING IT!!!Son1 will be doing the honors in preparation for the party he is throwing in my house on Saturday. Can I just take a moment to say…. “YEAH!!!!!”
I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to post for tomorrow since I am getting my needles done. Just know this….While you are all going about your jobs, I will be mainlining LEGAL drugs to send me into lala land! Will I be thinking about you? Most definitely……NOT! But no matter what, I’ll be here for HumpDay.
Cheer up….Monday is only 24 hours long.
Tuesday March 25th 2008, 10:21 PM
Filed under: Anger
Recently, Hubs got new phones for Babygirl and me and had them added to his business account. This was considered the best thing since …..well, since ever. Babygirl would get unlimited texting (which she really needed-or so she said) I on the other hand, would get unlimited use on the weekend (Now I can call Mr Fabulous and Turnbaby on Sunday nights!)
He picked out new phones and surprised us with them. “Surprised” isn’t quite the word I would use. They were “functional”. (Code for UGLY!) Now, I personally didn’t complain. I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Babygirl, on the other hand, stated flatly that she would not be seen even holding this monstrosity. Daddy took them back and got us pretty phones. These new ones needed a plan different from the plan he had gotten. So he got another plan too.
My new number is a different area code so we waited to see if there would be roaming charges. However, Babygirl got right into the groove of using her mad texting skillz. Even when her dominant hand was in a splint, she never missed a beat. The texting goes on before school, after school, during break at work, and interspersed through homework time.
The bill came yesterday. Of course our provider fucked it up. (I won’t use the name but it begins with ‘spr’ and ends with ‘int’ ) They billed us for the original plan (Just Hubs-for business). And they billed us for a plan compatable with the ‘ugly phones’. And they billed us for the current plan for the pretty phones. (Following me?) Over a THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!
After we cleaned up the shit in our pants, hubs jumped on the phone to have a civilized conversation with customer service. (I would have made merchant marines blush) Now listen to this! They were expecting the call! NO SHIT! Our account was red-flagged “expect these folks to rip us a new one!” Anyway….it was fixed. No harm-no foul. We spoke to a rep that spoke English clearly and who dealt with us efficiently. What are the odds of that?
Now here’s an interesting tidbit. Babygirl sent almost 8,000 text messages. EIGHT THOUSAND!!! Are we bad parents? We didn’t tell her that the bill was straightened out. We showed her the bill for a grand and let her shit herself too. Did she? NO.
“Daddy, you’re just gonna have to call them up. I distinctly asked for unlimited texting and it should be in the package. Fix it.”
And she proceded to text her girlfriend. Did Hubs flinch? Of course not! We’re talking about Daddy’s girl here!
I don’t have much of a post today but I would like to wish my bud Mr Fabulous a very happy birthday. Don’t plow your head through your cake. Or maybe I should say that if you do, put my slice off to the side first!
I’d like to thank you for making my days so much brighter. Every time I log onto your site, I am guaranteed to laugh or at the very least smile. It has become my own personal challenge to log on and see if I can get to the end of the post without smiling. (I have yet to do that)
No matter how blue I’m feeling, no matter how much I feel like puking from the flu, and no matter how much pain my back gives me, you make it all just that much easier to bear. You make every one of your readers feel like “the in crowd’ and each of your friends feels like they are the “most important” person in your life at any given time.
You call yourself an attention whore. You can be anything you want, honey. We come back time and again because we love you. EVERY BIT OF YOU!
Stop by his place and share the love… Or your skittles… I’m sure he’ll accept both!
Love you, Sweetie!
Sunday March 09th 2008, 12:37 AM
Filed under: birthday
This weekend really sucks. It is pouring outside. I mean buckets!! And the wind started up too. The empty trash cans in my yard are dancing in circles. I had to throw a brick into each to keep them from blowing away! A few of the branches on the trees around my house are tapping against the cable wires. This means my tv and computer keep popping in and out, making any kind of movie watching or blog reading a pain in the ass.
Secondly, Hubs and the boys are working this weekend. They are tryng to catch up with work that was put on hold during the “Flu Outbreak of ’08”.That means it is Me and the Pup just hanging out. What about Babygirl, you ask? She is far too cool to chill with Mom!She will head out with Handsome to his house or else he will come here and they will sit in a corner and giggle into each other’s ears. (BLECH!) Nothing like being the third wheel to your own daughter!
I guess I will spend the day trying to figure out why the audio on my computer sounds like a Spaniard rolling his R’s.The stutter is making me nuts and this is UNACCEPTABLE-especially on a Sunday! This is my time to spend with my compadres. Mi amigos. YOU GUYS!
With any luck, I’ll have it figured out in time to listen to Vulgar Wizard at 1pm , Karl at 5pm, Hilly at 6pm, Mr Fabulous’s Big Birthday Bonanza at 7pm, Turnbaby at 8pm, and Kyra at 9:30pm. God, I’m pathetic! I have absolutely no life on Sundays.
First Fings First
I had a very eventful afternoon yesterday and that is why I was unprepared with a post. (I will try to write one and tell you guys what happened!) But for now I’m going to give you this little nugget that I “borrowed” from Karl.
Speaking of Karl….Did you hear he’s got a show on Blogtalkradio? Check him out on Sundays at 5PM Eastern. He’s the leadoff to an evening of fun with all of your friends, like Hilly (6PM) Fab (7PM) and Turnbaby (8PM) Join us won’t you?
And now, onto the Initial Game…
Here is what you do. Use the 1st letter of your middle name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things…nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you took this from had the same 1st initial.
You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
1. Middle name letter: F
2. Famous artist/band/musician: Foo Fighters
3. 4-letter word: Fuck (Duh!)
4. U.S state: Florida
5. Boy name: Fred
6. Girl name: Frieda
7. Animal: Ferret
8. Something in the kitchen: Fermometer
9. Reason for being late: Food fight
10. Body Part? Flapping Fat
11. Drink? Fanta
12. Something you shout: Fuck Me!!
13. Something you eat? Fajitas
Meme for Stacy
This is a 7 Things Meme, which basically means that I’m supposed to list seven random things about myself. Stacy tagged me a week or so ago (God bless her little heart!) <–spoken with sarcasm! Step back-It might get big or messy…maybe both!
1. I forgot to eat dinner tonight. Seriously. How does one do that? Son2 and Babygirl didn’t want to eat at home. Hubs and Son1 wanted to eat meat.(It’s Friday when I am doing this-I don’t eat meat on Fridays in Lent) so I figured I would wait until something good came to mind and then suddenly it was 10 pm!
2. Although I am not a great cook (as many of you know) I am currently hooked on the Food Channel. I like to watch “Good Eats” “Iron Chef” “Unwrapped” and “Dinner Impossible”.
3. About an hour ago,I trimmed one of my toenails too short. It kind of hurts and I hope it won’t become ingrown. What? Isn’t that random enough for you?
4. I have Mr Fabulous’s penis in a box under my bed. I SWEAR TO GOSH! Actually it was the ginormous dildo that he used for part of his Halloween costume. I must remember to mail it to the girl with the sweetest tits!
5. The index finger and thumb of my left hand are orange.I was eating Doritos. Mmmm!
6. The song that sums me up is probably “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink-182. Yeah, I’ve been pretty juvenile today. And I said “Oh yeah? So’s your Mom!” to somebody in a sissy fight.
7. The socks I am currently wearing are ‘quitters’.Why am I wearing them anyway? Because they are so fucking comfortable and I’m only going to bed soon anyway.
Time for the 7 Meme Rules:
- Link to the person who tagged you
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
- Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
- Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.I am tagging: NO ONE!!!!
The reason no one is getting tagged is because y’all bitch and moan about doing memes yet you steal them from each other like pens from the bank! (Me included!) So steal it and get your ya-yas out. It’s okay to feel like your doing something immoral….I won’t tell….unless you tag me next time!!
Chosen By Fab
Some guy tagged me to do this. (I guess I will since I currently have NO LIFE!)
It’s called Crazy 8’s. Now pay attention because I’m only doing this ONCE!
8 Things I’m Passionate About -Music, movies, books, family, kids, friends, my hubs, nail polish (I love it and it must be a certain kind) -Not necessarily in that order.
8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die -Learn Japanese, visit Japan, parasail, scuba dive around the Great Barrier Reef, See Rammstein perform live, Become a Grandmother (SON1), have ALL three of my kids move out, become a bounty hunter.
8 Things I Say Often -“Fab, I promise to call in this week!” “Fuck you” “Bite me” “Don’t touch that!” “Bandit No!” “I don’t wanna hear it!” “I forgot!” “Oh yes, there”
8 books I’ve Read Recently –PA driver’s Manual, “Lisey’s Story” and “Blaze” both by Stephen King, “My Boring-Ass Life” by Kevin Smith, “Dirt:The Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band” by Motley Crue, “Brother Odd” by Dean Koontz, and the last Harry Potter book by JK Rowling. That’s all. And I’m not finished with 3 of them.
8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over -“Ohne Dich” and”Rosenrot” by Rammstein, “Spirit in the Sky” byNorman Greenbaum, “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison, “Alone I Break” by Korn, “Cry Baby” by Janis Joplin, “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones, and “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden.
8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends- HUMOR! Sincerity, selflessness, generosity, honesty and willingness to gossip behind someone’s back-even at a funeral or in church.They must also be enthusiastic about singing my praises at every opportunity. Oh, and did I mention HUMOR?
8 People I Think Should Do Crazy 8’s –Grant, Stacy (cuz payback is a bitch and so am I), Trukindog, Teri, Lynda and Blondeblogger and anyone else who hasn’t been tagged yet. BE HONEST! If you weren’t tagged yet, DO the fucker already!!