Trukindog wants to know more about me.  Why? Don’t I give enough of myself? All I ever do for people is give, give, give! It used to be just family and very close friends, but now even my bloggin’ buddies are infringing on my generosity. Well, Tdog, you are so lucky that I am still medicated and can’t think of anything better to post!

So here you have a half dozen factoids (not to be confused with hemorrhoids.)

1.  From April through October, I have incredibly healthy fingernails. They grow long and are so strong that even when I press on them, they do not bend. However, after October-without fail-they will break, split and peel. I have used gelatin, extra coats of nail polish and lots of other things to keep them long but it never works.

2.  I have never met a vampire, werewolf, troll, ogre or banshee. I have actually met a witch.

 3.  I love ‘different’ ice cream flavors. While chocolate and vanilla are always nice,I much prefer Moose Tracks, Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia, Rocky Road, and brownie chunk ice creams.

4.  When I met my husband, he had his arms around another girl. The first thing I noticed was his ass.

5.  The second thing I noticed was his forearms. I love a man with muscular forearms like Popeye. Not arms bulging with muscles like a body builder—just ‘working man’ rugged.

6.  All of my siblings and cousins are named after someone else in the family. I am not. My dad liked my first name and my mom liked my middle name. No one else has either name. However, I married into a family in which I am one of three others with the same first name.

Now for the bizniz part of this deal:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. THANK YOU, TRUKINDOG!!

2. Mention the rules on your blog.  Okay, here they are.

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. Did you read them?

4. Tag 6 bloggers and link them. Tug, Cissa, Winter, Nobody, Fantastagirl, and Shiny. Come on guys—admit it…you need blog fodder!

5. Notify taggees by leaving a comment on their blog. I’m going, I’m going!

My week was yucky. I haad no kids wich in itself is usually a good thing. But on sunday and Monday, I pretty much had no internet and I got pissed off and started drinking to calm my nerves so on Tuesday, I was hungover and wearing sunglasses. I did some laundry and not much else. Okay, I lie. I sipped water and took aspirin. On Wednesday (the high point of my wek)I was interviewed by Absurdist and that was a ton of fun! Thursday, my doctor said I gained two pounds. WTF? I hate him. He’s a liar. Now its Friday. *sigh* Tomorrow I’m sleeping in late with Nobody*. That’ s all I have ot say about that.

* From Nobody’s Thursday post: “I really hope that some of you will join me in my protest of protests. Here’s how it’s gonna happen: We’re going to have a sleep in on Saturday morning. We will display our apathy of these ridiculous protests by ignoring them and sleeping in. ” The man is brilliant!

So that’s it for a freewrite about my week with a bonus snippet of Nobody. Links will appear as I find them. Have a great weekend!

What is freewriting? Freewriting is writing whatever comes to mind, usually writing for a predetermined amount of time without regard to spelling, grammar, structure, etc. and no editing is done. We have chosen five minutes for right now, we will add or subtract from that in the weeks to come as we see fit.

Go see Shiny! He did it too!

I stole this meme from Nobody–a long time ago! I’m posting it now!

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. It’s better than green cheese.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Smoked? No.

3. Do you own a gun? Yes. It shoots cookie dough out in different shapes.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? I never noticed a drink in Sonic the Hedgehog.

5. Do you get nervous before doctors appointments? Only the dentist.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they are pinkish, tube-y bits of meat-ish pleasure.

7. Favorite Christmas song? Merry Christmas Baby(I Don’t Want to Fight) by the Ramones

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I prefer a shot of Southern Comfort but since it is somewhat unacceptable, I settle for coffee sweet and light.

9. Can you do push ups? I can do push.

10. What do you order at Starbucks? I order them to lower their prices. They usually don’t comply so I walk the fuck out.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Amethyst and diamond earrings arranged in the shape of orchids.

12. How do you eat your eggs? Slowly and joyfully.

13. Do you have A.D.D.? I did last week. Anal Discharge Disease is not fun.

14. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? I’m a kind and loving person all of the time and it gets in the way of my mean disposition.

15. Your eye color? After the beatings, they are a beautiful shade of purple that fades to a greenish yellow.

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment…Shannon speaks loudly. There’s not enough SoCo in my soda. I need to buy a bigger bottle of SoCo.

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? Nothing, nothing and nothing. What? It was too cold for me to leave my cave!

18. three drinks you regularly drink? Southern Comfort and Coke, Alka-Seltzer for the hangover, and Coffee to get through the day.

19. Current worry right now? That I will finish this drink before I finish this meme.

20. Current hate right now? The gremlin that’s watching me from the corner of the room.

21. Favorite place to be? In the basement between the water heater and the dryer.

22. How did you bring in the New Years? I didn’t bring it in yet. I’m still in denial.

23. Where would you like to go?I’d like to go to Hell and visit Tug.

24. Name three people who will complete this? Someone who needs a post, someone who has good answers, someone like me.

25. Do you own slippers? Several. Jack the Pumkin King, white ones, purple ones and black ones.

26. What shirt are you wearing? Several. A green cammy, a red sweater, and a tan sweater. It’s cold.

27. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I fall out of bed. And they show the stains more than the other ones.

28. Can you whistle? From my mouth, nose or my pussy? Yes. Guess which one.

29. Favorite color?(s) Black, red, green, yellow, purple, orange, blue,  grey and white.

30. Would you be a pirate? Yarr!

31. What songs do you sing in the shower? If I sing in the shower, I get water up my nose and in my mouth and come perilously close to drowning. Therefore I try not to.

32. Favorite girl’s name? Andi, Jo, Billie and Bobbi.

33. Favorite boy’s name? Adrian, Leslie, Michel,  and Chris.

34. What’s in your pocket right now? Lint, $5 I cheated Babygirl out of, and my hand as I search.

35. Last thing that made you laugh? Bandit tried to eat Son1’s big, fat pug Maggie and almost succeeded.

36. Most frequently dialed phone number? Milmont Pizza.

37. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I was curled up on the couch with my feet under me and I got a phone call that was important (I had been waiting for it)I got up to answer only to find out that my leg was “dead asleep”. It crumbled under me, breaking my foot. I walked on it for 3 days before going to the hospital. I needed to have it re-broken to set.

38. Do you love where you live? No. I live in the shadow of my brother. It is a lonely existence. What? OH! Yes! I love this town and my house! I thought you meant… never mind.

39. How many tv’s do you have? Two flat screens,two regular and one 6″ screen tv that I can watch when I am in the basement. ( Between the water heater and the dryer)

40. Who is your loudest friend? What? SHANNON! SHUT UP!!!!  My loudest friend? Nope. No one’s loud.

41. How many dogs do you have? I have one. My Bandit. Son1 has a pug named Maggie but although Son1 lives with me, Maggie does not. She lives with the girlfriend.

42. What are you thrilled about right now? I’m thrilled that Maggie doesn’t live with me. She and Bandit together are too much to imagine!

43. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes. Kyra and Turnbaby.

44. What is your favorite book? “Sex on the Beach- A Mixer’s Manual” (a gift from DutchBitch)

45. What is your favorite candy? Young handsome men.

46. Favorite Sports Team? the Olympic Clam Diving Team.

47. What song do you want played at your funeral? “Good Riddance” by Green Day and “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum.

48. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Watching a Japanese chef make a chocolate sauce that contained hot chili peppers.

49. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Please don’t pee on the floor Bandit! I’m coming!

50.  I seem to have lost a question! It’s your lucky day!

 Thank you to everyone who wished me well this week. I am currently without much of a voice (much to the delight of my family!) On and off I still run a slight fever, and the chills can be a bitch! My head is still very stuffy and I can’t smell much (this is cool because the puppy farts something AWFUL!!! However….

 Somebody took advantage of the fact that I am too sick to play “tag” and he got me anyway. I couldn’t run away fast enough and he tagged me so hard that I fell face-down in the dirt!! Nobody…I will get you one day! I don’t know how or when, BUT I WILL!!!!

Here’s how it works:

Link to the person that tagged you: Nobody

Post the rules on your blog. And here they are:

Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Hmm…7 things…..

1.  If I didn’t dye my hair, I would be 50-60% white–not gray–WHITE.

2.  I didn’t ride a bike until I was 12 years old.

3.  I couldn’t swim until I was 14.

4.  I’m 46 and still don’t drive. (It is my resolution to rectify this situation THIS YEAR!)

5.  I am not very imaginative when left to my own devices. I can decorate a room if I see a picture first or make a craft if I have instructions. Only then do I stand a chance of doing a good job.

6.  I am a pig in private. I will pick my nose, scratch my butt, belch or fart with reckles abandon and enjoy EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!

7.  I lie. Answer #6 should read “I am a pig, even in public…because I don’t give a shit about what you think.” Should I be a lady? DON’T WANNA HEAR IT!!!!

Photo credit is given to Teri and Lostmahead-for taking this as proof that  ‘Yes, I do things like this in public!’

NOW!!!  Here’s the fun part! I am tagging….DutchBitch, Shelli, GeekyTai-Tai, VugarWizard, MattMan, LovingAnnie, and Fantastagirl.

Hey!! Guys!! Stop running so fast! I’m sick! I can’t breathe! Come back!!!……..

Were you here yesterday? No? Okay, then you are excused. I’m at Nobody’s place taking care of business. Come on over.(there might be a party-I’m not promising, but you never know) At the least we can root through his drawers and try on Mrs. Nobody’s clothes!

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One last thing…..16 years ago today, God answered my prayers. After two boys, I thought I was done having babies, but Hubs and I decided to tempt fate one more time and try for a girl. Nine months after trying vigorously, out popped Babygirl. We smiled proudly and haven’t stopped since then!

Happy Birthday,Babygirl! I love you.

Not much is happening over here. Fall has arrived and with it the obligatory raking. That’s what I did. Raked. Alot.

I took Joslyn outside and she ran around while I did my thing. I figured fresh air and sunshine would get her ready for a nap. But first…lunch.

Babyfood just doesn’t cut with her anymore. So she had big girl lunch. She just nibbled. She had only nibbled at breakfast too. I didn’t worry about it. Sometimes a girl just doesn’t feel like a full meal, right? A cookie in her hand and back outside.

I was bagging leaves and twigs and Joslyn sat down on the ground beside me. Eating her cookie. Hubs joined us and we worked side by side  for a few minutes before he asked,”What is she eating?” I looked. MMM…..acorns. And since she was sitting on the grass, there were a couple of spiders hanging around on her too. Can you imagine what it looked like to see a grown woman swatting spiders off a baby while screaming at her husband to “DO SOMETHING DAMMIT!!”

Hubs the Mighty Hero just stood there laughing. I dug the acorns out of her cheeks. (taking lessons from the squirrels, I guess) I took out a wipey and cleaned her hands and said, “No nuts in your mouth!”  She sat back down and started to play with the leaves. I bagged a little bit more of the leaves and checked her again. MMM….twigs. What the fuck? Seriously, I tried to give this kid lunch a mere half hour ago and she wouldn’t touch it!!

She screamed when I took the sticklets out of her hands and mouth. I turned around to find another wipey and there she sat whimpering and licking her fingers like I had taken away her candy. Grubby hands and face, I picked her up and carried her into the house.

So much for yard work and fresh air.

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Tomorrow I will not be home. I am watching Nobody’s house while he is in Las Vegas  doing Godknowswhat with Godknowswho. I got to spend some time with him before he left and I thought I’d let you in on our escapades. So come over to his place tomorrow…..we’ll raid the fridge!

I’m not sure of how to put this. He confuses me. He twists the meanings of my sentences. He is innocent. He has no idea how he tortures my thoughts and words.

He is Nobody.

Nobody is my buddy.Nobody comes to see me.Nobody talks to me. Nobody drops me a line now and then.

See what I mean? On the surface,it sounds pathetic. To anyone new to this particular neighborhood, I sound like I’m bemoaning  my fate as a loner.

I tend to say, “Nobody knows what to do.” “Nobody can find my house.” “Nobody can fix that.” (It sounds like Nobody is all-powerful)

If he and his wife came to my home for dinner,would I then say “Nobody likes my cooking?” “Nobody likes to hang out with me?”

If I spoke to him on the phone and my husband happened to ask who I was speaking to, I would truthfully reply”Nobody.” (Sounds like I’m hiding something now.)

So there you have it. I’m almost confused beyond words. Nobody can help me. (Nobody, as in no one , not Nobody the blogger!)