I like a joke as much as the next person. I don't take things very seriously and I hope you don't either. Hope you didn't come here to whine 'cause I don't wanna hear it!
Every fall, we notice that we get a spider somewhere near our front door. It may make a home between the railing and the little azalea bush or just all over the front of the tall bush. Occasionally, it builds right across our front door, working its web from railing to railing. This isn’t just any spider, it is a big’un.
This isn’t cool. I am deathly afraid of them. They sense this and I think they stalk me.
Son2 works a second job that sees him come home between midnight and 2am. This is no time to find yourself covered in sticky web-especially when you know how big the culprit is. I don’t think the neighbors want to hear a man screaming all the swear words ever created at that time of night!
Don’t believe me? I wouldn’t lie about this shit!! Here, have a gander!
This fellow has prompted Son1 to use this warning to Babygirl and myself:”Get in and shut the door quick, before it eats someone.”
Gather around boys(and girls). After the cooking post, I thought I would give you a little treat. A little girl on girl….wink,wink, nudge,nudge! I wanna tell you about my favorite hunny….
Many of you know my scrumptious friend, DutchBitch. If you don’t, lemme tell ya…You don’t know what you’re missing. She is the girl I wanna be gay for. I happen to know that #42 on her list of things to know about her is that if you fuck with her, she’ll fuck back (ooh!) and she hails from Dutchlandia .Not only is she a smart, take-charge bitch, but she has the hots to back that up. We can only dream of licking her stiletto-heeled boots!
Anyway, (before I get too hot!) I wanted to tell you about a great contest going on at The Dutch Files.
On February 27, she will be celebrating her **th birthday. As part of her celebration, she will give us the opportunity to worship her hotness. The best offering of adoration will be granted a prize! Though she hasn’t announced the prizes yet, I can attest to fact that she gives great prize.
This is all you have to do: ANYTHING YOU WANT!(as long as it is “postable”) This means video, audio, picture, sonnet, nude artwork, or artwork done in the nude…ANYTHING! Judging will be done by a panel of judges (willing to be bribed) All entries must be submitted by midnight, February 20, 2008.
That’s all there is to it. Be a submissive and show her all the loving you can. Or the lust…Yes…lust is gooood!
I hope I pimped this right….I’d hate to be punished for doing a bad job….Mistress might have to spank me for it…..yes….like that…
At the time I thought it was funny. I also thought that alot of us would have a shitload of promises to make good on. You know, the ones that we said would come true “when hell freezes over”.
Hell has come to my house.
No, it’s not winter. No, I’m not fucking all the guys from high school that tried to get into my pants.And no I didn’t hit the lottery. It’s much bigger than all of them combined.
My husband is trying to quit smoking.
When I quit, I did needlepoint to keep my hands busy. Hubs NEEDS something! He has done an excellent job on the yard. He has straightened out his office. He has removed his summer clothes from his drawers. Now he hovers.
He is the hummingbird hovering over me as I type this post. He is reading all of my tidbits on Facebook. He is catching up on my email correspondence too. HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZIER THAN I ALREADY AM!!!!!
Mr Fabulous has gone away so the mice will play. In this case, the mice are Mrs Fabulous and Janna (blogauthor of such gems as Jannaverse, Jantrails and the ever popular Jantics). Yes, boys and girls, the ladies are ruling the roost over there and if you ask me, they are giving the lord of the manor a run for his money in the laughs department. Janna has held up her end of the deal with the devil by posting in Fab’s absence. (A daunting task if you ask me!) Now it’s Mrs Fabulous’s turn .
The elusive Mrs Fabulous will take the helm on Pointless Drivel Live tonight at 7:00PM ET on Blogtalk Radio. You heard me- Mrs Fab will SPEAK! Janna will be co-hosting. This is THE blog event of a lifetime! Make sure to get your list of questions ready and try to get through on the call in line. I guarantee it’ll be packed!
As Janna’s official bodyguard, I must warn you-If any of you damn paparazzi try to get pix of my girl J, I’ll put a hurt on you! So be nice, call in and DON’T ask her about the time she did the thing with that guy at the place! That would be rude!
To hear the show, click here. On the right, click on the bar that says “my radio show”.
Let’s stroll through our little neighborhood and see what sort of things we can find, shall we? *cue sunny music*
Wow! We just entered the street and already there’s something going on! There’s Finn and Lynda taking pictures. Someone forgot to tell Lynda that the webcam should be hooked to the computer first! Are they taking pix of Teri? Come on guys! She’s only bringing in her magazines! A little further on and there’s Stacy and two idiots! Stacy’s waving to…Tug! She must be off to Old Woman Creek again! Bye, Tug!! We walk on and MMM….smell that? Slick must be making spaghetti and meat sauce. I’m getting peckish!
Hey look! A two-family yard sale! Looks like Fantastagirl and the Nobody’s are playing copycats again! Both are doing work on their basements and need to clear some junk. “Hey Fantastagirl! Is it true you fed your kids chocolate bread?” There’s Shelli’s house. She’s not home.(I hear she’s in computer rehab-poor dear!)
What’s that shrieking noise? Oh that’s Mr Fabulous screaming about a gator ate a baby or some shit! Fab, that’s not fear. Ask Peggy. She scared of pencils, or Kapgar who’s a little nervous about the dark coming earlier.Be a man like Michael. He’s not afraid of zombies on the bus!
Watch out! Here comes Blue! She’s chasing down those boys of hers!Blue, send them to Usedtobeme-she can teach them life lessons from her Thursday thirteen. If that don’t work, send them over to Jenny for swimming lessons. Just don’t let them swim in Janna’s pool!! It’s rumored that olive oil and used condoms float in there!(Jeez-I thought that was Avi’s deal!)
Snackie-poo (Or should I say Snackie-PEE?) is talking to DutchBitch. Seems Dutchie got some ’special art’ with pubes attached! EW! Send the art over to LovingAnnie’s house- she’s been touching herself again! CLOSE THOSE CURTAIN’S!!
Well!! Lookie here!! In the last yard there’s a rocking party!! Between Carolyn and Webmiztris, they’ve got the place jumping! Carolyn, the guitar lessons are paying off!You’re catching up with Webby in the talent deparment! I heard that it’s a double celebration over there. Karl turned 41 and MattMan hit the 500th post! Nice job, guys! For crying out loud….”Somebody get ADW away from the alcohol!! She’s eyeballing that stud over there in the assless jeans! Put those eyes back in your head missy!!”
Listen, since we’ve seen everybody, and we’re here at the party, why don’t we grab a beer and join in. We’ll have to do this again sometime! Bye!!
I don’t know what to post. I am currently VERY sleepy. I am also VERY angry (but I’m saving it for Monday Moaning) I am also VERY sad. One of my friends passed away. He led a very full life and had 9 kids and 33 grandkids and 18 great grandkids. ‘Pop’, I’ll miss you.
Since I’m spending so much time with Jocelyn, I’ve been catching you guys here and there during the day. Sometimes I drop in and comment. Other times, I’m interrupted by a child waking from her nap. But I decided that tomorrow I will do something that I had fun with in July.
I will be stalking YOU. I hope you will be on your best behavior (or not). Have you been visiting each other? Have you been fooling around with each other? Who is blogging on company time? And who is walking around nekkid? I’m gonna be the fly on the wall. Beware.
PS: GET YOUR FINGER OFF THAT BUTTON!! NO FAIR DELETING ANY POSTS!!
OK. Those of you who were here yesterday offered very good advice and I believe I’m going to take it. I’ll not divulge the secret identity of who the secret blogger is , nor will I tell them who I am.
HOWEVER-There were a couple of ‘Nosy Nellies’ who asked for dirt on what I saw.Well guess what! I saw saw all of YOU! That’s right. Don’t believe me?
I saw Webmiztris with her hands on her hips, stomping her little foot (cute shoes by BTW) And cursing up a storm over a parking spot….
Shelli-Wears her hair like I do. And she was with the cutest little girl singing happy birthday….
Matt-man-Is having a yardsale (as we speak). He’s trying to unload a red ukulele and a megaphone(?)….
Finn-This poor girl keeps walking back and forth to the front door, waiting for her mattress to get delivered.(Yeah, they’ll show up on time!)….
Blue- WTF?? Committing vehicular homicide (I gotta report this!) in her ‘used to be white’ car. She was so calm that she went ahead and BAKED when when she got home! (she sure is cold-hearted!)
I saw Jenny at the gym. You should see her sweat! Rumors are that she’s been seen with a MUCH younger man!
Miss DutchBitch- OMG! I must have peeked in the wrong window cuz I saw her blogging–ON THE TOILET!!( cute panties)
I caught Tug being “personal” too. She was sniffing her bras!(WTF is up with that??)
Lostmahead has run off with her mom, sis and the kids (there’s a nightmare) to some strange wonderland.( Look for Dutchy while you’re there!)
Stacy was a strange one to peek at. She had these pictures of monkeys linked in and she was looking for bejeebers or some shit. My brain exploded around that point!
And of course I was stalking Mr. Fabulous again.He went to the tailor and found out that the inner freak that we all love is actually the OUTER freak and “He is NOT an animal!”
So there you have it. I saw all of you. I was watching while some of you were leading your normal lives. I saw the others doing some fuckin’ strange stuff! This neighborhood of ours is not as big as we’d like to think, and we are all just a click away from each other. Go ahead–click on someone’s name!– It’s like knocking on their door. Knock–stop in and visit, or play Ding-Dong-Dixie and run away. I guarantee, somebody will see you!
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