Wednesday April 28th 2010, 11:58 AM
Filed under: business,ineptitude,other shit,questions,survey

Who Has An Eye For Color?


See that hot mess above?  That is one wall in my bathroom. I am planning on stripping off all that nasty wallpaper and painting what I find underneath. The problem is the tile. I hate those colors, but I shouldn’t complain. My parents and Son1 both have pink and black *shudder*. I’d hate to deal with that!!

This is where you can help me. I am not blessed with an eye toward decorating or color ‘match’ . So I am looking for suggestions.  I am not even going to try wallpaper. I don’t have the time or money. I just want to paint before the graduation.

I don’t even know what you would call that….Peach and Beige? I guess that’s about right. And the floor is the same two shades. *Gag!*  The opposite wall is this one:


Nice bright shiny white. That will stay. There are lots of trees, and that means that even though there is a window, shade will dominate, so I don’t want to go too dark.

So there you have it. Any suggestions? Anyone?……Anyone?……Beuhler?…….

Monday March 23rd 2009, 7:07 PM
Filed under: meme,survey

Alphabet City

I was tagged by my friend “B” on Facebook, was it last week? I don’t know. What the fuck ever. I’m only doing this because I’m bored. Yay! You benefit!!!

A – Age: 47 At least that’s what my birth certificate says. I feel and act far, far younger!

B – Bed size: Only full because Hubs and I like to cuddle….a lot!

C – Chore You Hate: Cleaning the bathroom. It’s just a pain in the ass.

D – Dad’s Nam
e: Mr. D….It’s just a coincidence that his first name begins with D too.

E – Essential Start Your Day Item


F – Favorite Actor
: Gary Oldman…, love, love “Immortal Beloved” and “Sid and Nancy”

G – Gold or Silver: I love silver but I am allergic to anything other than gold. Even titannium bothers me and only sometimes I can wear surgical steel.

H – Height: 5′ 7″

I – Instrument (s) you play
: I can play a little bit of piano.

J – Job Title: Domestic Diva Extraordinaire and “Meanest Babysitter in the World”

K – Kid(s)
: Son1, Son2 and Babygirl. (And Bandit)

L – Like: Music (Actually it is more like “love” )

M – Mom’s Name: Mrs. D but we call her Mommy


N – Nickname: I’m known as Chris or Chrissy to some, Bitch to others and Metalmom to many, many others. And for Dave and Josh, I’ll tell the truth…..I also hold the title “Queen of Farts”

O – Overnight Hospital Stay Other Than Birth
: Dear Lord! Yes…..I love the food

P – Pet Peeve: Slow walkers. I want to punch them….repeatedly…and hard.

Q – Quote that you like: If you’re not part of the solution, get the fuck out of my way.

R – Righty or Lefty
: Righty tighty

S – Siblings: Two brothers and a sisters….if Dad has others out there, I don’t know about them.

T – Time You Wake Up: When my eyes open. Usually 5:30.

U – Useful tool
: My opposable thumbs

V – Vegetable that you dislike
: Parsnips

W – Ways you run late
: When I tie my shoelaces together it is very hard to run anywhere. I fall down alot, thus making me late.

X – X-rays You’ve Had
: I’ve had them all.

Y – Yummy Foods You Make
: Vegetable soup, baked ziti, and cookies.

Z – Zodiac
: I can tell you nothing about him…he’s never been caught.

Saturday January 31st 2009, 12:48 PM
Filed under: Friends,meme,questions,survey

Who Likes a Meme?

There are so many memes out there. We’ve seen them on other people’s blogs and Facebook. We’ve all been tagged time and again. But how do we really feel about them?

I may see one posted on someone’s blog and think, “Oh no. Here it comes.” I read them. I laugh at the answers. I agree with what many of you say. And then I wait.

I wait for the inevitable tag.

I get tagged by this one and that one and I sigh and I think “I hate this!” And then I procrastinate. I put it off because I have other posts already written. I put if off because I am busy or because looking at all those questions simply overwhelm me. I start to think “If I post this, I’ll have to tag someone and everyone hates them!” I also think, ” I’ll be jumping on the bandwagon and I’m not a follower”.

And while I procrastinate, everyone is getting theirs done and posted.

Eventually, I have nothing new to say. Nothing new is going on in my life. I have no new post. But I have a meme filed away.

And I give in. I respond. I have a good time doing it. I’m glad I was tagged. It gives me post fodder.

But I won’t tag anymore. Why? Because after reading so many responses, I can’t remember who among us has done them! I know that there are so many of us out there who say, “I hate those things. I won’t do a meme” and yet….given a dry patch…..we reach into the well….

So… honest. How do you feel about memes? Do you like to read them? Do you like to answer them?

Wednesday August 20th 2008, 8:07 PM
Filed under: fashion,other shit,survey

Rock the Vote

Okay folks, here are the pictures. I just want to know your opinion of which one looks better.

Dress #1:




The shoes:



And for Finn…..a glimpse of my gams……



Well? Which one looks the best?

Sunday July 13th 2008, 10:54 PM
Filed under: meme,other shit,questions,survey

Meme-I’m Too Tired to Think

I stole this from Robin who stole this from Libragirl and now it’s open to any thieves lurking around here.

1. You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you get?

A Snickers bar and XXX Vitawater. And a pack of salted peanuts.

2. .If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?

A sea urchin because they are prickly and they encourage others to  leave them alone…alot like I do!

3. Who’s your favorite redhead?

Depends…..Have you dyed your hair lately?

4. What do you order when you’re at IHOP?

I order the waitress to spell IHOP and then say “ness”.  (Do it-we’ll wait…Finished?  :))  )

5. Last book you read?

Murder For Hire-The Peruvian Pigeon by Dana Fredsti


6. Describe your mood.

Believe me, you don’t wanna know!
7. Describe the last time you were injured.

I am currently suffering heartache. But other than that, I walked into a wall and bruised my upper arm….don’t ask.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?

The most buoyant one so I could lay on top of them!

9. Rock concert or symphony?

Seriously, if you don’t know the answer to that one, go the fuck back to the picture on the top of the page!!!

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone?

“Three Musicians” by Pablo Picasso on one phone and roses with a skull in the center on the other phone.


11. Favorite soda?

No Coke! Pepsi!

12. What type of shirt are you wearing?

George Carlin t-shirt covered in dirty words and phrases.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation?

I’d like my own personal giant to carry me hither and yon on his back.

14. Most recent movie you have watched in theater?

Hellboy II…and it ROCKED!

15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for.

Ryan Reynolds/Jessica Biel/ Til Lindemann of Rammstein


16. What’s your favorite kind of cake?

BlackForest Cake…..mmm……

17. What did you have for dinner last night?

Hot Roast Beef Sandwich, potato salad and fruit salad.

18. Look to your left, what do you see?

My CD tower……Hello, CDs!

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Maybe my shoes have velcro!

20. Favorite toy as a child?

Knit-a-Row-a-Second knitting machine. I made hats, mittens and scarfs for everyone I knew.It was cool because no one else had one but me.

21. Do you buy your own groceries?

No, I grow my own chocolate, milk and eggs. What do you think? Stupid question……

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?

Yes, they do. And my phones are bugged and there are cameras strategically placed around my home transmitting my every move across the internet. Don’t lie! You’ve seen it!

23. When was the last time you had gummy worms?

My gums have never been wormy! That’s gross!

24. What’s your favorite fruit?

Alan Cumming. I like his last name! Isn’t he fabulous?


25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?

Why the fuck would I want one of those???

26. Do you like running long distances?

I don’t even like walking to the kitchen!

27. Have you ever eaten snow?

Only the yellow kind.

28. What color are your bedsheets?


29. What’s your favorite flower?

Daisies and peach colored roses. I can’t decide.

30. Do you do ballet?

No, but I used to do papier mache.

31. Do you listen to classical music?

Not really, I don’t like the Beatles.

32. What is the first TV Theme song that pops in your head?

Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

33. Do you watch Sponge Bob?

No, but I like Robot Chicken.


34. What temperature is it outside right now?

It’s hotter than inside of my house.

35. Do people consider you smart?

More like a smart-ass.

36. How many piercings do you have?

Both of my ears. (Babygirl reads this! I can’t be honest!!)

37. Are you signed on [to] AIM?


38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?

Who hasn’t?

39. How do you feel about your family?

Next question, please!

40. Do you have an iPod?

Yes, and I love it almost as much as I love my husband.

41. What time do you go to bed?

I go to bed around 10 -ish. I don’t go to sleep  until after midnight sometime.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?

System of a Down-Toxicity

43. What movie do you know every line to?

Joe Dirt…..Life’s a garden,dig it.


44. What is your favorite salad dressing?

Caesar….no, ranch….wait! Thousand Island….ummm Bleu Cheese!!….

45. What do you want for Christmas this year?

A laptop, or a laptop or maybe a laptop. I haven’t really thought about it yet…

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?

Aunt Phyllis lives in Washington State. My sister refuses to live with her though..

47. Do you like hugs?

Oh.My.God!! I hate bugs! They are creepy and I hate them and – What? hugs? Oh shit! Forget it.

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?

I’ve never actually eaten them.

49. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?

MentalMom. What’s up with that shit? There is no “n”!

50. Last person you hugged?

Son1. And he hugged back too!

Wednesday June 25th 2008, 5:55 PM
Filed under: meme,Movies,survey

Movie Mania Meme

Yeah, yeah, yeah….I know. You’ve seen this everywhere and we’ve all stolen it from Avitable. Why argue with genius? He took the top 100 movies of the last 25 years, as stated by Entertainment Weekly. Then he bold-faced the ones that he has seen and asterisked the ones he liked. I’m a copycat, so I did too.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)**
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)**
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)**
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)**
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)**
9. Die Hard (1988)**
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)**
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)****
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)**
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)**
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)**
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)**
21. Schindler’s List (1993)**
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)**
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)**
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)****
34. Fargo (1996)**
35. The Incredibles (2004)****
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)**
37. Pretty Woman (1990)**
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)****
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)****
42. Clueless (1995)**
43. Gladiator (2000)**
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)**
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)**
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)**
50. The Piano (1993)**
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)**
55. Risky Business (1983)**
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)**
58. Ghostbusters (1984)**
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)****
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)**
63. Big (1988)**
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)****
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)**
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)**
72. Thelma and Louise (1991)**
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)**
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)****


82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)**
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)**
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)**
91. Back to the Future (1985)**
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)**
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)****
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut (1999)

Where is Braveheart? What about Stand By Me? Sin City? Shaun of the Dead? 21 Grams? No SuperBad??? ANY MOVIE MADE BEFORE 1980???

But I digress….

Just from this list, I’ve seen seventy-nine. With an average running time of two hours each……that’s one hundred fifty-eight hours. That is roughly six and a half days–almost a week watching just these movies. That is not even counting the time spent watching them over and over again! Add to that the time spent watching so many, many, many, many other movies…..

I need a life!

Monday February 18th 2008, 12:04 AM
Filed under: contest,Friends,happy,meme,Monday,Movies,other shit,questions,quiz,survey,Uncategorized

Monday Movie Mania with Metalmom

 Before I get going on my post, I’d just like to apologize to Miss Britt for beating her down last night at trivia in Turnbaby’s house. She put up a valiant fight as did MixedNut, Hilly, Absurdist and Shiny. The trash talk was all in fun and you, my dear are quite a worthy opponent!


1.  What movie is guaranteed to make you laugh? “Joe Dirt”  I can watch it over and over and still laugh at David Spade’s mullet and Jaime Pressley’s redneck girl. I invariably end up saying “Dang” for the next twenty-four hours!


2. What movie is guaranteed to make you cry? Roberto Begnini’s  “Life is Beautiful”. The scene where he is broadcasting his son’s voice over the PA system to the mom kills me every time.

3.  What movie is underrated? “Four Rooms” It is four vignettes tied together by a maniacal performance by Tim Roth as ‘the bellboy’. It boasts a star-studded cast, eccentric characters and directed by Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Allison Anders, and Alexandre Rockwell.

4.   What movie is overrated? “It’s A Wonderful Life” I know! Christmas classic and everything, I just don’t think it rates being played so frequently for the Holidays. Why not show it all year around? Mind you, I didn’t say I hated it! I just don’t think it’s all that.

5.   Is there a movie that you will wake up for? “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” This is one movie that I don’t own and I LOVE IT! Bette Davis is in all of her demented glory as Jane and Joan Crawford as the bed-ridden Blanche is just too good for me to miss. Yes, I will set a clock and get up at three or four in the morning!


6.  Is there a movie that will put you to sleep? “Patriot Games” with Harrison Ford. We own this and have chosen it together and I have yet to see it all the way through. I love Harrison Ford, but his presence onscreen isn’t enough to keep the sleepys away!

7.   Is there a movie that you have memorized? “The Princess Bride” Who doesn’t have it memorized? It is one great line after another! “Mawidge! Mawidge is whot bwings us heah togever today!” I fuckin’ love this movie!!


8.   Is there a movie that you hate? Oh I’ma die for this! I hold the hate of a thousand burning suns for the movie…..”the Notebook” Yeah, she’s got Alzheimer’s and he loves her and it’s their story he’s reminding her of, but you know that from the beginning and I can’t help but scream “GET ON WITH IT!!” I hate this more than “The English Patient” and I really hate that one too!

9.   What is your favorite movie musical? “Chicago” -Murder, mayhem, trial, deceit and women in the hottest costumes…what’s not to love?

10.  Do you have a favorite ‘bad’ movie? “The Toxic Avenger” It is SO bad that it is good to watch. The acting is horrific, the lighting is atrocious, and the script itself are all so bad I can’t believe that ANYONE actually said the words, “That sounds like a great idea for a movie! Let’s do it!” I watch it in amazement and laugh at the absurdity.

There you go. Some Movie Mania for a Monday. I just got nothing worth bitching about, so I give you a little more insight into Metalmom!

Wednesday February 06th 2008, 9:48 PM
Filed under: family,Hubs,kids,other shit,questions,survey

Toon In

Is it just the guys in my house or is it everywhere?


What is the fascination? I do understand that they are funny. I like “South Park”, “Bugs Bunny”, and “Futurama”. I liked “Beevis and Butthead” and “Ren and Stimpy”. The part I don’t understand is the way Hubs and the boys like to watch them…over and over and over….

I like to watch “the Simpsons”. But I see it once and it’s hysterical. Twice, and it is still funny. Three times, I can tell that the joke is coming and it begins to wear on my nerves. The fourth time, I start to wonder what I ever found humorous about it in the first place.

I’m referring to “The Simpsons”, “Drawn Together” and “Family Guy”. I know there are plenty of fans and I am one–to an extent!


Once these shows hit syndication, they are on 24/7. What the fuck?? Why?? Not only are they on television, but now they are also released in special edition dvd’s for a limited time. Now the guys have access to them even when they are not on any particular channel.

Have you gone on the Cartoon Channel? “The Flintstones” plays alot. What about “Bugs Bunny”? How about “Dangermouse”? But I digress..

Why is it that the guys sit there watching these shows and they laugh out loud every.single.time? Did you not know that Homer was going to say “Doh!”? Did it end differently?

Did you notice that I’m not talking about the Disney movies or “SpongeBob”? Back me up on this all you moms! Those cartoons are a necessary evil. Otherwise the Thorazine would be prescribed more often to mothers everywhere! I’m simply talking about the cartoons that are recommended for older teens and adults.

I was just cleaning up and I saw all those videos on the shelf and began to wonder…Is it just my men? Or is it everyone else out there too? Am I the one who is out of the loop?

Shit! Please say it’s not me!!!

Friday January 25th 2008, 8:07 PM
Filed under: business,computers,fantasy,mail,MattMan,mr Fab,other shit,survey

I Get EMail

People please! I am only one woman! I cannot be expected to do everything that is demanded of me. I check my email every day and I am ever so popular.  Lemme tell ya about it!

I can’t live without Hanes t-shirts. I must slim down in two days, perhaps by using colon cleanse! I can join a gym for a limited time only or maybe I just say ‘fuck it’ and order myself some soup samples!


I can change myself into an ebay millionaire, a nurse, a cop or a mystery shopper. All I need to do is respond within 24 hours to be on my way to realizing my dreams!

I am repeatedly asked to fill out surveys, buy business cards, or buy ringtones. Don’t these assholes know that I have better things to do with my time? Important things like shave my legs, eat a pudding cup, pluck my chin hairs or take a shit while no one is in the house to interrupt me!

And I get these requests for pictures. “Send me your picture! I’ll send you mine!” I keep telling MattMan and Mr Fabulous to stop sending me these requests because guys, it just wouldn’t happen! Mainly because I think the Black Singles in my area have dibs on those!

The only one that is remotely interesting is for hunting knives. FINALLY!  An offer I can use!

Now if I can only find the people that send me all this shit, I’d have a serious use for a nice sharp gutting knife!!

Friday October 19th 2007, 11:56 PM
Filed under: computers,happy,miscellaneous,survey

Whatchoo Doin’?