Vacation……What can I say? I relaxed. And I umm……..well, I relaxed, there’s that. Let me ’splain:

We left for the shore with a trunk packed to the tippy top. (Babygirl and her friend K supposedly packed frugally…HAH!) Guess what I saw along the way? Nine raccoons sleeping along the side of the road (actually two were sleeping in the center of the road…..How’d they do that?) I saw one deer basking in the sun with its ears touching the center of his back (limber devil!) And as we drove along, a rafter of wild turkeys crossed the road in front of us. (Yes, the term is ‘rafter’–I looked it up) Luckily no one was behind us and we could slow down. Those bastards took their damn sweet time!

We checked in just in time for a horrendous storm. Lightning struck the lightning rod on the motel across the street from us. I ran into the bathroom covering my ears because the resulting clap of thunder scared the shit out of me. (Note: I did not say “bejeebers”. I seriously meant “shit“!) After the rain stopped, we took a walk but still kept it an early night.

The next morning we awoke to FOG. Dense, I-can’t-see-across-the-street fog. It took forever to burn off.  The fog returned every day to shroud the beach at least until 11am. We went to the beach where we sat and read and listened to music. And then we went back to the motel for a dip in the pool, a shower, a nap and then dinner. Repeat that for the next few days and that’s pretty much what we did.

Throw in walks along the Boardwalk, bike rides from one end of the island to the other, and a game of mini-golf. My tan is magnificent, and I am so relaxed. I can’t remember the last time I felt so stress-free.

Son2 came home to have his nose set on Wednesday. He returned to work on Thursday. I wished he had stayed for the rest of the week.

I didn’t cook. I didn’t do laundry (even though there were laundry facilities) Hubs said I should but I claimed that I couldn’t find the laundry room. I suppose I could have followed the scent of fabric softener, but who needs that?

Sunrise-the day we left.

I missed my puppy terribly. I was lucky that I didn’t have to send him to a kennel. My friend Lostmahead kept him at her house where he had a boo-boo once or twice, never bit her kids, and was called “well-behaved” by her husband (who I suspect was not thrilled by their visitor)

Now I’m home. You people sure were busy, so there is much to catch up on. I’m getting crampy fingers, so I’ll stop here and start reading!

Today was a super day. Bright sunshine, low humidity, decent temperature–a perfect day to be outdoors.

I took the kids to the library where we loaded up on stories for quiet time. Then we crossed the street to the “educational” toy store. They should call this the “Expensive-crap-no-kid-wants-to-play-with-more-than-once Store”.  $13.00  for a game of dominos?? Just because the pieces curve? A pot-holder weaver for fifteen dollars?? Gimme a break! Those things are only 4.00 at the local craft store!

Anyhoo…We got ROCKET BALLOONS!!* These things are the shit! We loved this toy. They are annoyingly loud and fly pretty damn high and far. We just have to be really careful to aim it away from the street (don’t wanna cause an accident!) and away from the house (I now have six trapped up on the roof) and away from the holly bushes (because they will immediately pop) and away from the trees (because now I have three hanging from the branches -unpopped, but unreachable    )

We shot these things everywhere and laughed and had so much fun. I was the one who was disappointed when it was time for the mom to show up!

Will I ever grow up? Prolly not! This was a great day!

*This is not a paid endorsement-but it really should be!

As I was checking my email, I came across this.

It is all about the itch. I read it and could not stop scratching. It was all the power of suggestion. A while back, when Joslyn’s sister got lice, I couldn’t listen to her mom tell me about it without getting the heebee jeebees (read: itchy)

Now it is summer. Tis the season for mosquitoes. I get itchy just imagining what the midwest is going through with all the standing water that is a breeding ground for those pests. My neighbor’s yard sinks in one part and since she empties the kid’s wading pool, it fills with the water and then just sits. I can’t take my kids outside into the back yard without the mosquitoes swarming to the little ones. They look like the poor refugees from those third world countries with the bugs gathering around their faces!

A mosquito bite-be it large or small-is enough to keep me uncomfortable all night long with the desire to scratch. I scratch until I bleed. If my fingernails are cut short, I will scratch until I bruise. But ahhh….the relief I feel when I ‘get’ that special spot. You know, the one that makes the itching stop.

Babygirl doesn’t mind the bites. I have said “Use the bug repellent” as she runs off to softball or to hang outside at a friend’s house. Does she ever listen? No. Why? Because she likes to scratch. She enjoys the sensation she gets when she ‘gets’ that spot.

I can tell her about West Nile Virus. She is 16. She doesn’t care.

This is part of one of her creative writing assignments:

I’d graze the bite with a nail short and rough

flooding me with satisfaction

I’d scratch until  I got enough

of performing my favorite action.

This winter, more than most others in the past, I gained weight. Normally I chalk this up to “hibernation fat”. You know, the kind you get from eating all the stuff that you can bake because it’s cold outside, or the stuff you eat over the holidays.

I tried to be careful over the holidays. Really. I’m not even lying! SHUT UP! SERIOUSLY!

I gravitated towards the veggie trays. I stuck with two cookies instead of a dozen. I drank water–even on the coldest days—instead of hot cocoa.

And yet….

My niece’s graduation party was yesterday. I forgot. My SIL called in the morning to ask for her large cooler (which was in my basement) Oh yeah!! That was today!! We rushed around doing all the errands that we thought we had all day to complete. We got home, and started getting changed to go. Hubs asked me to iron a shirt. No prob. Done in a second.

Since it was hot outside, and it was outdoor party, I went to the storage bin to find my summer clothes. Oh.my.God. I had nothing that fit me. Not one pair of jean shorts, skirt, skort, or sundress. Jesus! When did this shit happen????

The pain in my back had caused me to avoid more activity than usual. Now, I have to pay the piper. I got lucky though. I found one pair of shorts way in the back. I have never worn them because they were given to me by someone who had gotten too big to fit in them. I was ever so saddened by the fact that they fit–albeit tightly.

I am so upset and getting more depressed the more I think about it. I don’t like to get depressed. I am not the type of person who likes to wallow in sadness. I have to find a happy thought so that I can cling tight and avoid going under….

 I just thought of something…SHOPPING!!!!  A whole new wardrobe!!!!  A new look!!!!

 Fuck you! Roll with me on this!!

No matter what the calendar or the temperature may tell us, Summer doesn’t officially start for me until the day all the kids are finished school for the summer. Today was the first day that I had a full house of other people’s kids.

The weather cooperated wonderfully. The humidity was down, the sun was shining and rain wasn’t predicted until late afternoon (or “drive time” for all of you commuters) I decided that we were going to take full advantage of this.

We left the house around 10:45. A stroller, a dog, Babygirl and I, and five kids. We looked like a parade walking down the street.We made it three blocks before someone had a ‘blow-out’ on her flipflop. We took a hair rubber band and rigged it just so it would hold long enough for the walk.

And walk we did. We walked and walked and walked. We went to the campus of Swarthmore College where it’s a nice shaded walk with plenty of interesting things for the kids to see.

This is what we did today:

Part of the college campus (Photo taken by my nephew Mark -7)

This and the next are views of the Amphitheater where we stopped to play.

Then I showed them important stuff.

I’m all about educating the yung’uns. This summer, the theme is “green”

They learn by example. See how well he practices?

Those ankle-biters had a good time.

After all the learnin’ and walkin’, we made our way home.

Wanna know what I learned? I’m not as young as I used to be. My legs are killing me.I need a hot bubble bath, a couple of Motrin, and nice comfy bed!

The weather was beautiful. The temperature was just right. I wanted the windows open to let in the fresh springtime air.

I opened the drapes. They were dusty. I decided that I should wash them. I had no babies here so this was the perfect opportunity. I returned to open the windows and then I noticed that the glass was dirty. A winter’s worth of dust and Hub’s smoking,(yes, he still does that….but let’s not go there!) had gathered on the panes. I needed to wash them because it detracted from the beauty of the sunshine.

Well, as long as the indoor windows were getting cleaned I may as well clean the storm windows and the screens. It would only take an extra few minutes but it would pay off in the end. Hmmm….I have to remove the blinds so that I can get to the storm windows. That’s okay, I’ll soak them in the downstairs bath tub. A simple soak, dry and hang them back up. No prob.

In order to get to the brackets holding the blinds, I have to move a hanging plant. As long as the bathroom is steamy, I may as well treat the plant with a little humidity. And since I have a few clippings, I’ll repot them (as long as the plant is down)

After cleaning the screens, my bathtub was covered in a black film that wouldn’t just rinse away. It needed to be scrubbed. On my hands and knees, I cleaned the tub until it gleamed.

I was a busy little bee. All of the tasks got done. One by one, my windows were returned to sparkling clarity and non-dusty shine. I was proud of myself. I got it all done with no interference from anyone.

My house smelled fresh. The sunshine dappled through the trees and into my living room. The curtains looked brighter. My house looked more cheerful (or maybe it was my attitude) I sat down.

I sat down.

I sat down.

I couldn’t fucking get back up!

My back had locked up. So there I sat until Hubs came home. He went back out and picked up dinner. We ate burgers and then I ate Percocet. And Advil. And did I mention Percocet?

Today, me and my buddy Perc (as I like to call him) just hung out in my bedroom. We watched television and laughed at the ho’s on Maury. We also saw something about Pope Benny, (but I don’t quite remember what it was) Later, we watched the Hillary/Obama debate (but we didn’t understand a word of it, even after twenty minutes.)

Oh yeah, and I called the doctor. Steroid injections will begin again. *Sigh*

All because I was enjoying the weather.

Another Friday is here and you know what that means……FREEWRITE!

What is freewriting? Freewriting is writing whatever comes to mind, usually writing for a predetermined amount of time without regard to spelling, grammar, structure, etc. and no editing is done. We have chosen five minutes for right now, we will add or subtract from that in the weeks to come as we see fit.

Son1 will be throwing a Communion party for his ‘daughter’. He’s using my house.what was I thinking? At least I know that I have nothing to do with it. I’ll clean MY bathroom and MY bedroom. the rest falls on his shoulders. His girlfriend will be doing everything else. I an dying to see how this truns out!Babygirl is using her hand at softball. I think she should wait anoohter week but she thinks she is fine. She has already played in two scrimmages without telling me. Brat! We are startting to do a lot of shopping for her. she is going to Handsome’s senior prom in May and her tripto Canada is coming up next month. What is the weather like in Canada at the end of April? I don’t know how to pack for her! I tied my hair up in a ponytail today just because I was busy and I just took it out. Now my scalp hurts.I hate that  feeling. I love the feeling of my nice clean sheets. I will enjoy them in two seconds when I go to bed. (I know, I’m typing this on Thursday night-cheating-but so what!. Kill me!)

 Now I’m off to enjoy my bed and tomorrow I’ll enjoy the baby and the weather. Have a great Friday!

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 If you’ve joined in, tell me, I’ll link you! Today we have Epiphany, Robin, Trish and the Absurdist- go check them out too!

Just a few curious things.

1.  I’m not psychic. Surprised? Anyway, a couple of friends have accused me of being in their heads. These are not places that any normal person would like to visit. Not only that but I have picked up the phone to call my mom and a girlfriend and both answered on half a ring(!) only to tell me that they were on their way to call ME! Weird huh? Wooooo!

2.  What’s the weather like where you are? Today was awesome. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the squirrels in my yard were a-humpin’  like rabbits! After my nap, I took Joslyn and the pup out for walkies. It seems like forever since I’ve been able to do that. I CAN’T WAIT FOR SPRING!!!

 3.  Did anyone see the news about the pope making up new sins? What is the deal with that? (asked in my best Seinfeld voice) What? No cloning? No stem cell research? Bite me!  No drug abuse? Fuck that! Where did it say “Do not perpetuate homelessness, hunger and illiteracy in thine own back yard?” Pope Benny! Get a grip on that staff of yours and yank it a few times!

4.  Does this count as a bullet post if I didn’t use bullets and numbered the items instead?

5.  Who took my NIN CDs? Two of them. Fess up! If it was you, I swear, I’ll make your life unpleasant!

That’s all boys and girls. Thanks for stopping by and have a pleasant biteme day!

This weekend we turned our clocks forward again. While I enjoy the extra time every evening for the sun to shine, it wreaks havoc with my system until I get used to the new sleep rhythm. I know we’re only talking about an hour, but I seem to be  sentitive to the change all the same.

I have trouble sleeping. It’s not quite insomnia. I don’t stay awake for days or weeks. I’m not ready to sleep until 1:30-2:00am. Sometimes, I will wake up at 4am,and end up tossing and turning. So I’ll watch a movie and maybe catch a nap between 7 and 8.

Sleeping pills are not my cup of tea. I get vivid dreams and that is worse than the lack of sleep. I like Ambien , but I don’t like to keep using them. Besides, my doctor thinks that taking 15 pills in 3 months constitutes “dependency”.

Now with the time change, it’s no longer 1 or 2am. My clock says 3am. If I get up, sit up, and need a nap, it’s not 7am. Now it’s happening when Joslyn gets dropped off. Time is screwing with her too. She is so tired and she cries alot. But she doesn’t sleep at night. Now I am trying to avoid naps. For her and for me.

I tried to write a post last night but I couldn’t concentrate enough. I tried to do it earlier this morning but again, I couldn’t keep focused. Since the weather is nice, Jo and I went for a walk this morning at 8:30. Now it is barely 11 and goddammit! it is still early enough to give her a nap!

Just a short one…..before lunch….just to recharge a little bit…..

My pillow calls…”Meettaallmooooom! Come to me!! You know you wanna!……I’m so comfy…..I’ll make your eyes stop burning…..I’ll get rid of that cloudy brain….Cooommmmme to meeeee….”

I’m going!! Just for a minute…..

Normally on a Friday, I would have “Freewrite” here. I don’t think anyone else did it today either. But let me just say,

I FEEL BETTER!!!

I went to bed early last night (so I never did a post) and wonder of wonders……SNOW! Enough snow that the schools are closed. That means no kids over here for me! I told Babygirl to shut off her alarm and ran back to my bed before it could get cold! I got to sleep in! YAY!

So…No “Freewrite”. I’m taking a snow day. I think I’ll have a hot cup of coffee and watch Hubs do the manly job of shoveling. Maybe I’ll even ‘warm him up’ when he gets in!

Have a great Friday everyone!