It Only Took Five Years!
Wanna know what I’ve been doing? Huh? Are you on pins and needles?
Don’t lie, motherfuckers.
On Saturday morning, while I started to clean the inside of my windows, Hubs decided to clean the gutters. The debris in them was starting to sprout roots. I got the bright idea to use the ladder after him to clean the outside of the windows. I’ve only been begging him to let me use the ladder for about five years. He seems to think that I’ll kill myself, so I can’t use the ladder without supervision and he won’t supervise. IMPASSE! But this Saturday, since he took it out, I used it, cleaning windows and screens. I was happy.
As I began to wash the front window, I heard a saw. I looked down and there he was, hunched over, sawing away at the mostly dead bushes. I was worried that he would hurt his back, but I held my tongue. I was excited that the bushes were going. I’ve only been begging him to get rid of them for the past five years. By 3pm on Saturday, this is what my house looked like:
Naked house front.
It was hot out and humid. We worked our asses off. After showering, all I wanted was a burger and a beer. I went into his office to suggest a trip to Wendy’s but before I could say a word, he suggested a trip to Charlie Brown’s for some drinks and maybe some appetizers. I jumped at the chance. I ended up eating a huge sirloin burger and washing it down with Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. Yum. Then we went home and I watched Union defeat Houston. Woo Hoo!
Debris lines the side of the house.
On Sunday, we went to Home Depot, picked up a few things and got started again. I was finally going to get a garden! And it only took five years of begging!! We tied up our debris, marked out where we wanted our garden and Hubs began to dig it up. I pulled out some ivy on the other side of the house. Eventually, it was too hot and we quit.
Some of our plant purchases.
Monday, we put down some top soil, fertilized, and began placing our plants. It was hot. We decided to take it easier than we had been but not until we had added a layer of black mulch. Lostmahead stopped in and I asked her to help me sort my basement. I knew there were curtains that I could be using but I couldn’t find them. We sorted for roughly an hour. I found curtains that I had forgotten that I had! SCORE! I was so happy. After she left, I began washing the curtains and packing up some stuff for Goodwill that had been buried. This was a productive weekend.
This is not the finished result. We still have more flowers to put in. That’s a lot for two old farts with bad backs!
Tuesday, I ironed and then hung curtains in every room on the first floor. All of the curtains matched! And it only took five years!!
Wednesday, I cleaned a few closets, packed stuff away (in the empty bins that I discovered in the basement) and found a brand new needlepoint kit that I didn’t know that I had! As I passed through the room, I noticed our scale. So I stepped on it, expecting to see the same old-same old. Imagine my surprise when I saw that I have broken through a target weight!
And it only took five years!
Monday Moaning-Hot As Hell
*It is hot as a motherfucker out there today, with a healthy dose of humid. There is not a breeze to be found. Every pore on my face must be open because the grease on my skin…! Holy cheese and crackers!!! I splashed my face with cool water and two minutes later, the oils were back. I feel like the Mary Kay lady got ahold of me and caked that shit all over. You know what I mean? That feeling like you have two pounds of makeup on? Yeah, that one. Yuck and a half!!!
*It will continue to be hot here in my house because it is not after Memorial Day. To Hubs, this means that it’s not summer yet. Screw that noise! It was 86 degrees today and I have a tiny ‘personal furnace’ named Bandit that wants to sit ascloseaspossible to Mama! I want my AC and I want it NOW!!!
In case you can’t read it, beneath “It’s Fucking Hot” it says “Time to Crank the AC”……I concur!
*Still bitching about the heat and humidity…..My hair is frizzy. In my attempt to keep the frizz down to a minimum, I used some of this product and that other product and my hair felt like paper and not hair. Besides that, my scalp itched. So I showered, in order to cool off and wash the disgustery out of my hair. Now my hair looks like……actually, it looks like a doll I had as a kid…..AFTER I brushed out all the pretty curls.
*About the only thing Hubs is bitching about is that he gets no sex. It is easily remedied……GIMME THE MUTHAFUCKIN AC!!!
*And the hot flashes? Bitch, please! Don’t get me started…….!
There isn’t much going on over here. The weather is awful and it brings with it much allergy suckage. My eyes constantly itch and the pulsing headache never stops….going on five days and counting…..
A few friends and I were talking this weekend and we noticed that so many of us have kids the same age who are graduating this June. So far, my Babygirl is going the furthest away. The others are only going to be about an hour or so away from home or at the local community college. The subject of ’empty nest’ depression came up and I was surprised to hear my friends admit to horrible sadness and disappointment that their kids are going away. Personally, although I will miss her terribly, I am very excited for my daughter to go away and experience the world. We already have a few conversations on Facebook- especially when we don’t want Hubs to overhear us. I know that these chats and texts will continue. Now I wonder if I, too will become depressed when the time comes to wave goodbye. God, I hope not!!
Speaking of graduation, we are also planning her graduation party. On Christmas Eve – when it is Hubs’ family only – we have roughly 40 or so people. Add in the 20-something on my side and a few of our family friends, and we have 75 folks who will be here. Yes, I said HERE. Money constraints make it impossible to rent a hall. We will cram everyone inside the house and outside in the yard (Thank God for two bathrooms!!) Food will be ordered and some family will also contribute. The only problem we have will be seating. I hope to borrow a few picnic tables. And let’s not even consider rain!! We’ve done this all before and I have nearly dropped dead of stress and worry…. only to have everything work out in the end……Let’s hope for good weather!!!
Well, Hubs is home today and it’s still raining outside. It’s time to choose a movie and snuggle with my man……SEE YA!!
The Surprise of Spring
The day was beautiful, warm enough without being hot. The sunshine, in it’s brilliance seemed to magnify both colors and smells. I want to be outside.
I call to her, “I’m going for a walk. I won’t be long.” Her response surprises me. “I’ll go with you.”
It always surprises me when she says that. Maybe it’s because teenagers don’t want to be seen with their parents. I don’t know what it is, but I won’t stop to ask or dwell on it. I am happy and will accept it for what it is.
“I’m bringing my camera. I saw something that I’d like to take pictures of.” I tell her. “Cool” , she says. “Wait while I get mine.”
This is even more surprising than the offer to walk with me. We have each had our cameras on certain occasions and we have taken photos of the same things, but I don’t recall going out specifically to take pictures. I smile inwardly, afraid to spook her with over-eager exclamations of “Really?” or “Hey! That sounds lovely!”
We grab the dog and bring him along.
As we walk, we chat about her BF, about college, about prom and graduation. We talk about everything and nothing. We talk with ease. Some sounds like typical mother/daughter conversation. Some other sounds like two adult women. It flickers easily between the two.
We stop and look at mushrooms, taking pictures and discussing angles. We see the gardens of the neighborhood and the displays that color the center of town. In front of the library, we stop to admire the tulips. She leans over to shoot into the center of the blooms. She squats to get up close to them. I look at her, at the way the sunlight reflects off the golden highlights in her hair. I see the concentration on her face and the satisfaction as she finds the exact angle that she had been looking for.
I lift my camera to capture the image of my daughter as she moves among the blossoms. She enjoys what she is doing. She is blissfully unaware of her natural beauty. She laughs as the dog tangles himself in her legs. She leans to rub his ears and to accept his sloppy dog kisses.
We continue our walk and eventually turn toward home. Both of us are happy with the photos that we have taken. Both of us are happy that we’ve gotten in some exercise without becoming sweaty and uncomfortable.
There is half a block left before home. The dog knows and pulls in that direction. I want to slow him down. I don’t want the walk to end. It was far too short.
Boob Sweat Galore
Okay, so I got this job.
It’s great on so many levels. I am getting much needed exercise. I am making a spare buck or two. Mackenzie is a smart, good girl. I have someone other than the laptop or tv to keep me company. All of this is good.
But it also has a sucky side. I learned this today…..the hard way.
Mackenzie actually had the day off. She came this morning and we played Mr Potato Head, we colored and we baked cookies. Then we went out for lunch. We had a good time with a friend of mine and she was very well behaved. When we got home, we colored a bit more and then it was time.
Time to walk her home.
It was soooo hot. This weather kinda sneaked up on me. I mean seriously! We went through weeks of snow. And then rain….and more rain….and after that, more rain…..And then it was nice. Nice enough to still wear jeans and a shirt and maybe a sweater. And I wore exactly that–jeans and a shirt. We began our walk.
God, it was hot. Where did all the heat come from all of a sudden? Right away my feet were hot. The back of my neck began to sweat….and then my temples….and my face….and my scalp. There is nothing I hate more than feeling the beads of sweat trickling under my hair. It feels like a bug crawling around up there! *shudder* I could feel my shirt clinging to my spine. Bandit was panting so much and it made me feel even more hot (as if that was possible!)
We got to Mackenzie’s house, where her mom gave me a bottle of icy cold water which I promptly shared with my baby. As we stood there chatting a bit, I felt a new trickle….right between my boobs. I said my goodbyes and began the trek back home.
By the time I got home, I was soaked. Hubs was home and tried to strike up a conversation, but I would have none of it. I raced to the bedroom. I tore off all my clothes and then ran to the bathroom to jump under the cold spray of the shower. Even in the water, I could still feel the sweat on my head! Finally I got out and looked in the mirror. My face was still red.
Tomorrow it will be 88*. I will be walking almost a mile to pick her up from school and walking all the way to my house. She’ll be here for two hours and then mom will be done work. I can’t imagine the amount of boob sweat that I will generate!
Humidity!! Menopause!! Boob sweat galore!!!!
Quiet In The Storm
Eighteen years ago, on the very day that Babygirl was born, Hubs began working for a company that would employ him for roughly ten years. An average day for him began with getting up at 5am in order to get to the offices by 5:45 and out on the road by 6am. His day lasted until he got home somewhere in the ballpark of 5pm. This was as close to a normal timetable as we would ever get.
Hubs is an electrician. With this particular company, his job was mainly considered to be industrial. He maintained street lights and airport runways. He made sure that many businesses had operating air conditioners, sump pumps and generators. He made sure that bridges or parking lots were well lit.
Bad weather was a double-edged sword. I would worry about him something terrible. It wasn’t always about the work he was doing, but more often it was the drivers on the road. There were always the idiots who be driving in the snow on bald tires. There were the drunks who wouldn’t see the huge flashing signs that signaled a worker on a cherry-picker fifty feet in the air. Besides these fears, there were the more human worries. Was he warm/cool enough? He was working in the middle of the night after working an eight hour day because of an emergency. He was sick, or he was hurting. It never mattered because he loves his job and his family and he always did what he had to do….and he made some serious bank. With weather like this storm, he was one of the guys that would restore power to your home. He was the guy that made sure hospital generators were working. He made sure that even through the storm, the bridge lights blinked to signal their existence to the airplanes. He would fix the wires felled by trees or ice.
We are currently in the middle of some of the worst weather my area has ever seen. And tonight my husband is not home. He is not with the other company anymore, but he is out there in this mess of snow, wind and freezing temperature. As a side job, he is supervising both of our sons, a nephew and a friend as they handle some snow plowing, blowing and shoveling. This is what they did starting at 4am yesterday. They worked until noon and then came home for food and sleep. Tonight they left at 9pm and they won’t return until roughly 8 am.
This job will make sure that the boys have a paycheck- even though their other jobs are closed this week. This job will make sure that we have money coming in since our own business has been so slow. Luckily for us, the boys enjoy this type of work. Luckily for us, Hubs only has to supervise and not physically exert himself.
But here I sit, at 10:44pm, with the television on to keep me company. My dog is lying next to me and my laptop is…well…on my lap. Hubs doesn’t take trips. He doesn’t go out with friends and stay out until all hours. The only time that I am alone at night like this is when he works. It has been a long, long time since this has happened. Long ago, I loved the quiet. My kids were finally in bed. My laundry was getting finished and the house was cleaned-at least for a few hours. I would sit up to read, watch television, or just to take a long bubble bath with my walkman playing in my ears. I would find something-anything- to occupy myself. I found it so damn hard to sleep without him next to me.
Now, I will watch “Nip/Tuck”. Then I will take my night time meds and include an Motrin PM. I may chat with a west coast friend on Facebook for a bit and then I will turn off the laptop and the light. I’ll put the television on ‘snooze’ and finally relax enough to sleep for the night.
I wonder if this is just another sign that I am at another stage of my life. I am okay with the quiet of the house. I am okay knowing that Babygirl is upstairs sleeping in her own bed, instead of asking her to come in here to keep me company with her soft snores.
Tonight I will stretch out and even sleep diagonally if I want. I can throw my arms out wide, or kick the covers off if I am so inclined.
And I will be happy that he can do the same thing tomorrow when he gets home.
It’s Snow Picnic
Just a few observations…
* You shovel your walk and dig out your car. You put the snow in the street. The plow pushes it back and buries your car. So you dig out your car. You put the snow in the street. The plow pushes…
*If your shovel broke on Saturday or Sunday, GO TO THE FUCKING HOME DEPOT AND BUY A NEW ONE TODAY!! Don’t wait until Tuesday afternoon when the next storm starts. Oh, and while you’re there? GRAB A GODDAMNED BAG OF SALT!
*The snow comes and everyone runs out and buys up all the milk and bread. If you can’t drive down a street in your little freaking Prius, what makes you think that delivery trucks will be able to fit through? If the cashier says “We have no milk and bread.” Don’t ask if she is hiding some in the back for tomorrow’s shoppers. Yeah, she’s hiding it…..fuck head.
*If you park your car under a tree or other area in which it is possible that snow will fall on it, turn off your fucking car alarm. If it goes off at three in the morning again, you’d better not let it honk for an hour. If you do, I will pour water over your car doors and windows and your front steps.
*The roads are narrower due to the snow piles. They are narrower for everyone. This means MOVE THE FUCK OVER if you see another car coming. Your Hummer is an asshole’s behemoth. Don’t be so freaking selfish!
*Are you an exerciser? Are you a mom? Stay out of the street! Can you skip the shit for ONE DAY?? Slip on the ice while we are driving and you deserve to be run over. If you have to take the kids out in the stroller, don’t make them a party to your idiocy. I saw cars fishtailing. Who’s to say that one wouldn’t plow into that stroller with your beautiful twins in it? You don’t know me, but you ruined my day just knowing you were responsible for those little angels.
We now return you to your regular blog reading….
Those of us with pets love them like they were our children. We take the time to come up with the ‘perfect’ name. We notice the little things that would distinguish your own bulldog from three other nearly identical bulldogs. We give them a place to sleep and buy them toys. Some folks will be happy with that. Many, many others go that ‘extra step’.
Bandit is as spoiled as they come. I can tell you why too. My own kids were independent from the get-go. Before they ever reached school age, I knew which ones never wanted breakfast. I knew how much it annoyed one to be woken up by mom, prompted to hurry up and asked if they had all their papers. I knew which one wanted some chitchat.
Bandit has no such requests.He loves the ‘smothering’. He wants me to sit down so he can sit on my lap. He wants his ears rubbed. He likes to be warm. Oh boy, does he like to be warm.
We got our gas/electric bill for the month of December. It was nearly $150. higher than usual. Since I am here alone in the daytime, I like to snuggle with the pup on the couch, under a blanket, watching a movie with a cup of tea or cocoa. My night sweats and hot flashes make me want the heat turned down all the time. I love the weight and feel of a warm hoodie, a thick sweater, and fluffy socks. How did it go up so fucking high??
I finally put two and two together.
Bandit will sit in front of the heater. Not just near it. Not just in front of it. ALL UP IN IT. If he got any closer, he would be sliced into quarter inch little slivers. He hears the heat come on and runs to the heater, and sucks it all up. When it finally starts to cool a bit, he will run back to me and snuggle again, or he will curl up on his couch.
Today, it’s cold–or ‘Fucking Cold” according to my weather page.
I made sure to put his warm jacket on when he went out to pee, but I pulled it off him when he came back in. (After much whining and trying to get away from me!) I felt bad and since I was also taking away the heater privileges, I let him wear his sweater. He’s not very happy with me, but an extra $150? I could use it in my pocket!
We will now see if the bill goes down. We will also wait and see if Bandit can find a way to get at the heater. Because I don’t think the cold is going away any time soon….
It’s That Time…
It’s that time of the year again. No, not the new year, not the white sales, not holiday returns.
It’s time for……the needles.
My back is always hurting on and off, sometimes it’s enough to take tylenol or ibuprophen. Other times, it’s necessary to use the Lidocaine patches or percocet. Lately, it has been more frequently the latter. All the preparations for Christmas didn’t help matters much. Now that the holidays are over, it’s time to repack all the pretty decorations…..and time to start aching again.
Hubs is such a manly-man. “Let me carry that for you”, “Don’t lift that box” and “Stop vacuuming” are often heard when he is around. But his back is no better than mine! He is just better at hiding it than I am. A few weeks ago, we had snow….lots of snow. According to the weathermen, we had one inch higher in a twenty-four hour period than has ever been recorded in the Philadelphia area. And rather than waking up our son, Hubs wanted to shovel. This is something he really enjoys. So on came the boots and gloves, and out into the storm he went.
He did all the shoveling that was ‘necessary’ and suddenly no more than that. His back hurt. He took a hot shower, some ibuprophen and went to bed. And didn’t get out of it for two days. Then we had our Christmas Eve party and he carried bags of ice, cases of soda and held nieces on his lap and threw nephews into the air and threw his back out again. This time, he didn’t tell me. He just medicated himself and got through the holidays.
All the hostessing at my party tweaked my back too. And then standing and sitting on hard chairs at my SIL’s house and my mom’s house didn’t do it much better. Eventually, I was also in lots of pain.
Hubs and I began to squabble over the heating pad, who would stand up to let out the dog or answer the phone. We bitched about who was staying in bed while the other one got up to do this or that. We carefully watched that neither of us was hoarding the meds.
Now that everyone is getting back to their jobs, the doctor has also returned to his office. We will see him Monday, and make arrangements to get our shots and the epidurals into the nerves. We will go on the same days and at the same times.
We are so excited.
Isn’t it pathetic that we can get so excited about a medical procedure? It sounds like a romantic getaway!
I can barely contain my joy!
Skies slate grey, the breeze not quite crisp
A yard covered with leaves .
I have an itch to be outside.
I grab a rake and find my zone-
the one in which I focus totally
on moving piles.
Beads trickle down my back
my hair plastered to my face and neck
I smell of dirt, fresh air and honest sweat
By the time I finish, the sun has broken through
I can finally see the grass and the soil
I will sleep well tonight, satisfied with my efforts.