Monday February 02nd 2009, 10:17 PM
Filed under: desire,kids,other shit,weight


* The kids are coming back on Wednesday. I will have an income again. The baby who was only pulling himself up to stand, is now walking and the little girl who was prone to ‘accidents’ hasn’t had one in a month. Things have changed for them, but for me? It’s just back to normal.

* There was a small kitchen fire in a house down the street from me. How do I know? I found out on Facebook.

* My diet is progressing nicely. I’m still taking it easy, but I’m adding exercise to the routine. Go me!

* I want to touch Jason Statham. I want to touch his muscular arms.I want to feel the stubble rubbing my cheek. I want to…..mmm….give me a minute…or two…

Sunday January 25th 2009, 9:44 PM
Filed under: birthday,desire,Monday,weight

Monday Moaning-I Want…..

I want….. to eat.

This is very different from saying “I am hungry”. The truth is that I am not hungry. This totally sucks. I want…something. I don’t know what.

Usually, I have a craving. Milk, yogurt, ice cream or cheese cravings signal a need for more dairy in my diet. If I want fruit salad or a regular salad, it usually signals to me that I haven’t been eating enough vegetables. The same with bread or cereal.(Lack of fiber) My cravings are usually very easy to read. And they normally are accurate about what my diet is lacking.

Except today. I want……I don’t know.

I went out for breakfast today. I had a huge Belgian waffle with fresh, warm blueberries. I had a small bowl of cottage cheese. I had a well-rounded meal. However, 2 short hours later, I wanted ‘something’.

You wanna know what else I noticed? I am bored. This is not good. ‘Boredom eating’ is treacherous to me. I am bored frequently in the winter. *Sigh* Not good.

I’ve been food shopping. I have a variety of chips, crisps and crackers. I have a box of chocolates. I have apples, oranges and grapefruit in the house. I have sherbet in the freezer.

I want………none of the above.

It might be a texture thing. I need to chew. Like a hoagie or a steak. Like a chocolate cake. Like strawberry pie. Like a bag full of Skittles. Like pepperoni and cheese. Like  a bowl of buttery popcorn….

I want…….this craving to pass!


Speaking of I want…

I want to wish Adam a very happy birthday with many more to follow.

May you have one wish come true for every hair on your entire body. That’s alot of wishes!!  :*

Friday November 28th 2008, 11:13 AM
Filed under: celebration,family,happy,holiday,love,weight

Turkey Coma

Let me loosen my pants  *ziiip*

AHHHH!  That’s much better.

So did anyone else overeat like a motherfucker?  Jeez! I think I gained back every single one of the fifteen pounds I’ve lost! The food, family and friends were wonderful and I hope you all had an opportunity to share the same with your families.

So…SIL asked that we be there by 4-ish for dinner. Of course, her own brother and his slow-ass boys didn’t get there until almost five. I hate when they do that. Every occasion I have to tell them be there by two (Knowing full well that they won’t be ready until 3:30!) But I think that’s why she said three. She’s a smart one!

I didn’t make a turkey.  Two of Hubs’ sisters made them.  Unfortunately…..Son2 started picking at the buffet before anyone was ready and entered the kitchen with a slice of turkey in his hand. In his booming whisper of a voice, he asked the family seated at the table, “Okay, Who let Aunt D cook a turkey?” (Aunt D has never made a moist turkey in her life!) OMG! She was right behind him and slapped the back of his head! We gasped and then laughed so hard! (Aunt D will now be giving up that honor….unless for some outrageous reason, we end up having Thanksgiving at her house!) Everyone ate Aunt J’s turkey and Aunt C’s ham. No one touched D’s (except I think I saw her hubby take a pity bite or two)

Cookies,pies, cake and my own huge bowl of Ambrosia were on the dessert menu. (Now that I think of it, if any of that ambrosia is left, I want leftovers!!)

My niece’s one month old baby was the center of attention. That is one stinky-farty baby!! but oh so very cute. And that new baby smell? It rivalled any aroma coming from the kitchen! Son1 (who never holds a baby under three months old), held his cousin and looked very much at ease. I think an engagement is in the works for one of Metalmom’s boy!  SQUEEEEEE!

One niece wrote an essay at school about how the holidays have changed now that her grandparents are both gone. It was brought out and passed around. Of course, everyone cried, but they were good tears. We were all surprised by the gifted writing. No one knew she was capable of it.

Yes, we celebrated with new life, mourned those gone, and made all new memories for the present and future.

It was a wonderful holiday for us.

Saturday October 18th 2008, 4:27 PM
Filed under: ineptitude,miscellaneous,other shit,questions,weight

At the Tone…..

At the tone, your weight will be……BEEP!

I am currently back to my beginning weight. I am not thrilled.

I am keeping my fat intake to 17 grams or less per meal. No meal is ’empty’ nutrition-wise. Even a salad has protein in the form of black beans or lean chicken breast added to it. Snacks have been kept to 100 calorie treats or fruit (mostly the fruit). I am drinking so much water that I find it hard to move too far from the bathroom.


Why is the weight still here? Is it true that muscle weighs more? If that is the case, then I am growing muscular. I take the dog outside and we chase a stick or one of his toys. In the house, I jump around and wrestle with him. I am using my exercise ball. I do situps while catching up on my tv shows. I am using resistance bands to work my upper body. My arms feel like jelly. My stomach feels like I have cramps often. (It must be working because I am wearing jeans that are a full size smaller and I am losing my “muffin top”.) I will admit that my back bothered me at the beginning of the week so I didn’t walk outdoors, but I still tried to get in at least 15 minutes on the treadmill.

Y’know…after spelling it all out and seeing it on the screen in black and white, I guess I am making progress. I seem to be giving myself some ‘tone’. Maybe if I took down actual measurements, it would be a form of positive feedback. I took your advice and I made a few meals ahead of time and it was very easy to just pull one out of the fridge whenever I was ready.

I wasn’t going to post this. This is actually a entry in my weight loss journal. But I hope that if someone else out there is trying the same thing, we can encourage each other.

But if you’re gonna try to tempt me with cheesecake or cookies or candy…..


Sunday October 05th 2008, 3:35 PM
Filed under: desire,ineptitude,kids,other shit,pets,weight

I’m Not Quitting!

Time is not a very good diet buddy.

I haven’t gained weight but I seem to be stuck at only having lost 10 pounds. I have started watching two new kids and they keep me busy. I thought I would be burning extra calories just chasing after them but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Now, instead of sitting down to a fully balanced breakfast, I am barely remembering to eat a bowl of cereal. Instead of taking my time and eating a large salad, I am only grabbing a banana or an apple for lunch. By dinner time I am starving. But I still try to eat well.


Exercise-wise, I’m not walking as much as I hoped. The 2 year old doesn’t want to walk or share the stroller with her 8 month old brother. He still naps alot so that also puts a crimp in things. By the end of the day, I am so exhausted that even though I may want to walk on the treadmill, I can’t even muster the energy to pull it out. My days off consist of piled up laundry, housework, cooking substantial dinners for the men and giving my dog his neglected attention-time.

Something has got to give. It is certainly not the fault of the Alli. That is working well, given the circumstances. I’m still not having any “distress episodes” but without being as diligent as I was before, I’m afraid that I will be stuck with only 10 pounds lost.


But I’m not quitting! I intend to keep trying. I just have to figure out how to fit the exercise in!

Sunday September 07th 2008, 12:06 PM
Filed under: celebration,family,Friends,kids,love,other shit,weight

Just stuff…

Just a few things:

*I went to the wedding on Friday night. The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome, I had a great time. I wore the print dress (Hubs liked that one alot) I was rewarded for the effort   ;)) . Unfortunately, I don’t have pictures of myself, but they do exist for other people.


Don’t they look happy?

*I am now entering the second full week of my Alli diet. So far, so good. No ‘distress’. No starvation. I even found ice cream sandwiches that fulfill the cravings for sweet, chocolate, and cold all at one time! AND….I have lost 6 pounds!!

*The kids have all returned to school- preschool, grade school and high school. I am currently here alone during the day. But as the saying goes, “feast or famine”. I have gotten inquiries from two moms. One with an 8 month old and a two year old and another with twin three year old boys! I wonder if I can handle them all…..although I have learned that the more you have the easier it is to amuse them. I will be interviewing them this week.

So that’s all I’ve got going on over here. I hope every one has a good week!


Sunday August 24th 2008, 10:39 PM
Filed under: doctors,other shit,weight

Monday Moaning-The Sharts

I went to the doctor for a checkup on my thyroid function last week. It seems to be working okay, except for one thing. I’m not losing weight. This is a concern not only for me but for the doctor as well. I’m not getting younger and this could be serious further on down the road.

I know y’all are probably tired of hearing about this, but it’s weighing (HEH HEH) heavily on my mind.

I’m exercising. I’ve cut out a majority of the carbs. I gave up the Southern Comfort (except for ONE- only once a week). I stopped using butter. I’m eating more veggies. And still nowhere.

So the doctor gave me something called Alli. It binds with the excess fats in my meals so that my body doesn’t absorb it. It simply passes through.


Did you ever hear of ‘olestra’? It’s that stuff that made the news when someone made potato chips with this stuff. It caused “anal leakage“.

Yup. You read that right. “Anal Leakage“. As in ‘Hershey squirts’. As in ‘skitters galore’. As in ‘fart+ shit= shart.’ As in ‘fart + poop = foop”.

If I take this stuff I run the risk of the sharts.


The horror is that I’m considering this. You see, it is used as behavior modification , kind of like those dog collar shocker things. If the dog goes beyond the boundaries set, he will get a shock. So he learns not to do that. If I go beyond my allowance of fats, I will have “digestive consequences”.  (Yeah, that’s what they call it.) I will be forced to learn a new way of controlling what I eat.

As long as I pay attention, I have no problems. If there is a reason why I am eating a high fat count meal, I simply don’t take the Alli (hence I won’t gain the benefit of having that fat ‘flushed’.) I can expect to safely lose approximately 3 pounds a week. After I stop taking Alli, I should be accustomed to eating a diet with lower fat counts and a steady amount of calories. Eating differently would mean keeping the weight off.

I know I could probably just alter my eating habits on my own, but knowing myself, I will cheat. There will be no consequences for bad behavior. The Alli will keep me accountable.

I tend to stick close to home unless I take the kids somewhere. Besides, they are headed back to school next week. I have a treadmill, so I won’t have to stop walking. (I’ll go back to walking outdoors once my body adjusts.) This doesn’t have to be an embarassing undertaking for me.

What do you think? Do the pros outweigh (heh heh again) the cons? After all, I will be under a doctor’s supervision.

Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when the doctor simply prescribed ‘yellow jackets’ or ‘black beauties’? There’s got to be a shyster out there willing to hook a bitch up with some legal speed!

Where are you?? Come out of the woodwork!!

Monday August 18th 2008, 9:15 PM
Filed under: owies,weight,Winter

Still Hurts

My legs still hurt.

I walked a bit today. Just enough to keep the muscles good. Tomorrow I’ll work ’em out again. I am planning to do this every other day for a while. Later I will try for every day. Until then, I am becoming very good friends with this:



On a different note, I wanted to post this for Winter. I think of her every time I hear this song. And it’s also for Unkey Monkey, who agrees with me that these guys are hot! Yes it’s in German, but parts are in English. Learn something new….!


Sunday August 17th 2008, 10:07 PM
Filed under: family,lessons,owies,weight

Monday Moaning-Sweatin’ Like An Oldie

I have been exercising. No, seriously. I have been paying attention. I have been walking more faithfully. I pulled out my weights. I pulled out my treadmill for really hot or rainy days. I’m tired of carrying this lard with me.

Most of my walking is done in the morning. It’s cooler. The streets are quieter. And the dog seems to like it too. Most times I manage to get home again early enough to shower or just sit down to watch Good Morning America before the kids get here. It’s been working out good for me.

Babygirl also walks. She meets a friend and they go walking almost every day. They leave well after I get home, and sometimes she is not even aware that I have left the house and returned.

Here’s what I didn’t know.

Her friend has been walking to lose weight too. He used to weigh 245 lbs. at the beginning of the summer. Now he weighs 216 lbs. and is still working at it. She has been his ‘trainer’. She’s been pushing him and encouraging him not to give up.

Tonight, Hubs and I decided to walk after dinner. Since she had just returned from a softball game, and was already in her workout clothes, she decided to go with us. We took our normal route. Not too long, not too short.

And then things got ugly.

As we neared the point of returning home, she called me a wuss. “You call that a walk?” THEM’S FIGHTING WORDS!!

So we accepted the challenge.

We saw parts of our town that we never knew existed. We saw the homes of  ‘Old Money’- those homes with boats, Lexuses and BMW’s in the wrap-around driveways. We saw gardens galore (that itself was a whole other nightmare! Oh, the skeeters!!))

We walked aproximately 2.5 – 3 miles. (Compared to the usual ONE mile!) We went up hills and down. We went over the river and through the woods. Literally. Well, to be honest it was more like a creek, but hey, there was still water involved!

We got home 2 hours after left we left. (Can that be right? Wouldn’t that mean we actually walked further than 3 miles? I sure as hell feel like it. I’ll have to tell Hubs to drive that route and measure the mileage.)

My left foot has a blister. My knees are killing me. Not wearing a sports bra  means that my boobies jiggled like jello and now they hurt too. I think  even my hair hurts.

I will definitely be moaning this Monday morning. But it’s a good hurt.

I think I have found a personal trainer that will work for food!

Monday June 30th 2008, 7:53 PM
Filed under: fashion,holiday,lessons,other shit,weight


Every year, beginning around March, I begin to spazz over the weight I haven’t been able to shed no matter how hard I try. I spazz because bathing suit weather is around the corner. Normally, there is a cushion involved because we don’t usually vacation until mid- to late August. This year we are going in late July.


There is no time to do anything about my predicament. Oh well…..

We put a deposit on the place we are staying at and took a little spin around the area. What I saw made me forget about MY weight.


Did I actually see these particular women? No, but I might as well have. Oh dear God! What makes people think this is okay? Why should boobs spill out of your top? If you are NOT eighteen years old or perky, put that shit away!!!

Does anyone really want to see a woman (or man–you fellas are not immune to this behavior!) lift all of those rolls of fat to apply sunscreen? When you turn around, we DON’T want to see where the good Lord split you!

Hubs and I saw a woman with her four kids crossing the street, looking pretty close to  this. We looked at each other and simultaneously said “Holy Shit!” I almost felt the bile rise in my throat.

I don’t think I will be worried about how I look in a swimsuit this year. Mine will cover my ass. I will not ‘accidently’ pop a titty out of the top. And I will look at these other women and say  “Damn! I look pretty fuckin’ hot compared to her!”